Hearts Under Construction

by Hunt, Diann

  Following the morning greeting where people sitting nearby extended a welcome, the congregation sat down and prepared for the message. Ellie prayed a silent prayer for Cole. She had not been a good example of Christ to him and guilt plagued her for that. She didn’t want to be the reason someone else stumbled in their relationship to Christ.

  The pastor spoke about control. How we need to give our lives over to the Lord, allowing Him full control of our lives, our dreams, our future. She wondered if that was a little heavy for Cole, but figured the Lord knew what He was doing.

  The Scripture reading was from Proverbs 3:5-6, talking about trusting in the Lord and leaning not on our own understanding. Ellie was quite familiar with that verse; it was one of her favorites. She shifted into a more comfortable position in her seat, preparing herself for a good message. But as time lingered on, she noticed her back was getting sore. Her left leg went to sleep. She could feel a headache coming on. To be honest, she didn’t like where the pastor was headed with his sermon. She had relinquished control of her life to God, so why did she feel uncomfortable? She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, and quickly shoved it aside. Besides, she needed to pray for Cole. As far as she knew, he didn’t know the Lord. This was about him. Not her.

  Cole listened intently to what the pastor had to say. Did people really do that, surrender their lives, their wills, to someone unseen? He couldn’t do that. Oh, sure, he believed in God. After all, Someone had to create everything, but this yielding control business bothered him. Seemed more like a crutch to depend on Someone other than himself in everyday life. He figured it was enough to visit God on Sundays and maybe have a slight conversation throughout the week. But the business of building your world around Him, that didn’t set well with Cole.

  He stole a sideways glance at Ellie. Then Jax. They seemed engrossed in the message. He appreciated his friends and felt sorry he couldn’t share their beliefs. But this was a free country, and a day of tolerance. They could each believe their own way without affecting the other.

  After church, Ellie’s mom walked over to them. “Jax, how about you and Cole joining us for lunch?”

  “Oh, I wish I could,” Jax said, glancing at his watch, “but I’m supposed to pick Alex up in a half hour. We’re going on an afternoon picnic.”

  Cole was surprised to hear that. Jax had said things were getting strained between him and Alex.

  Mrs. Williams frowned then turned to Cole. “How about you, do you have plans for the afternoon?”

  Cole had no idea how to get out of this, and Jax looked as though he enjoyed watching Cole squirm. “No plans, ma’am.”

  “Good.” She glanced over at Ellie and smiled. Ellie’s face had turned a pasty white. He wasn’t sure if he liked having that effect on her. Not that he cared one way or another how Ellie felt about him.

  Oh, he liked her as a person, as far as that went, but anything beyond that, he wouldn’t begin to entertain the thought. She was too stiff for his tastes. Didn’t like adventure or change. That spelled boring in his dictionary. Looking at her once more, he couldn’t deny she was pretty, present paleness notwithstanding. At first glance, he would definitely be attracted to her, and come to think of it, he had been. In the beginning. Before their obvious differences sent up red flags.

  Okay, so he was still attracted to her. But he wouldn’t allow his emotions to overcome his good sense.

  “Cole?” Jax tugged at Cole’s arm.

  “Oh, sorry,” Cole said, embarrassed he had been caught daydreaming.

  “I said I’ll see you later. Try to get along with Ellie for the sake of her family, okay?” Jax’s eyes held a teasing glint.

  “How could you think otherwise?” Cole acted offended.

  “I’ll just let that one go by. See you later, buddy,” Jax called over his shoulder.

  “You want to follow me to my parents’?” Ellie asked.

  “Sure.”

  “It’s only a couple of miles down the road.”

  “Don’t you have to come past here to go back to your house?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “Well, why don’t you leave your car here and ride with me? I’ll drop you off on our way back.”

  He noted her hesitation. No doubt she felt as nervous as he did about this whole thing, but still it seemed the logical thing to do. What’s a couple of miles in the car together?

  “Okay, that will be fine, I guess.”

  “I won’t bite, I promise.”

  “So you’ve told me,” she answered dryly.

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “Have I kept my word?” He rather enjoyed the bantering.

  She waited, squinted her eyes and looked toward the ceiling. Finally, she looked at him. “So far, so good.”

  His head snapped in an I-told-you-so fashion. “Let’s go.”

  “Great meal, Mrs. Williams. Thank you for saving me from a lunch of canned ravioli.”

  Ellie’s mom laughed, her slightly plump middle shaking a tad. “Glad you could join us, Cole. You’re welcome to come over any time.”

  Ellie winced. She could tell her mother was on a mission, and Ellie didn’t like it. They’d talk later.

  “Excuse me, where’s the bathroom?” Cole asked.

  “Down the hall to the right,” Ellie said, pointing.

  Cole nodded and left the room.

  “Mom, please, don’t encourage him,” Ellie whispered, emphasizing each word. “He’s my boss, and I don’t want to pal around with him.” She helped her mother clear the dishes from the dining room table.

  “Now, Ellie, I’m merely extending a Christian welcome to the young man. ‘Whenever you do it unto the least of these,’ remember?” Arms full, they carried the dishes into the kitchen for washing.

  Ellie groaned. “Do you have to bring God into everything, Mom?”

  Mom shrugged. “He is in charge of my life. Controls every aspect.” Ellie could almost see her mother in a spy suit, peering over the rim of her dark glasses, eyes boring into the secret places of Ellie’s heart.

  Ellie squirmed. “And that’s another thing. Why do you always try to apply the pastor’s message right after service? I’m not five anymore, Mom. I get it, okay?” Ellie tried not to show her frustration, but for crying out loud, her mother had been applying the morning message right after church for as long as Ellie could remember. Her mother used to say, “If you apply it right away, it will stick in your memory longer.”

  “Just trying to be a blessing, dear,” her mother teased.

  Ellie wasn’t amused. In fact, her mood was growing downright bitter. Cole’s presence made her uncomfortable. Mom’s mission made her nervous, and for reasons she couldn’t explain, she didn’t like the pastor’s message. “Where’s your chocolate stash?”

  “Oh dear, I’ve upset you,” her mother said, reaching for a candy bar.

  Ellie sighed. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just a little on edge.” She unwrapped the chocolate bar and took a bite.

  “Why?”

  “Different reasons. Cole’s requiring more documentation of our client interaction and—”

  “Hey, nice pictures in the hallway,” Cole interrupted when he came into the kitchen.

  Ellie jumped. “Thanks.”

  “A lot of them have you holding a book or something. What’s that about?” He directed the question to Ellie, but her mother dove in with the response.

  “Oh, Ellie struggled each time her dad moved to a new church, so she found comfort in her journals. She’s kept every journal she’s ever written since she was seven,” her mother said, puffing up with pride.

  Cole looked impressed.

  Ellie inwardly groaned, took another bite of her candy bar, and headed for the living room. Her mom stayed behind to finish up in the kitchen. Her father had had to go back to the church and find some music.

  “What was that about?” Cole asked when they sat down on the couch.

  Words bunched i
n her throat. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t like to talk about me,” she said when she finally found her voice.

  “I’ve noticed. So what was that about?” he repeated with a grin.

  She made a face.

  “Must have been hard.”

  “What?”

  “Moving all those times when you were a kid. Adjusting to new schools, new friends. Some kids do okay with that, some kids don’t. It’s a personality thing.”

  Ellie nodded and kept chewing. She wished everyone would leave her alone so she could enjoy her candy bar.

  “I didn’t move a lot, but Dad was always gone on business trips.”

  Ellie stopped chewing and looked at him. He rarely talked about his personal life, and when he did, she listened.

  “We had Grandma, and I loved her, but it wasn’t the same as having Dad around. Sales work was all he knew, and he had to put food on the table.” Cole shrugged and paused a moment. “Dad was good at it, too, until the booze took over.”

  Her pulse gave an unexpected blip, taking her breath away for a moment. She couldn’t believe it. They were actually having a serious conversation, looking into each other’s hearts. Well, she was peeking into his anyway. For some reason, that made her very uncomfortable, and yet, on the other hand, she felt strangely warmed by it all. The strains of “Kumbayah” returned in a faint whisper, startling her.

  He straightened himself and stared once again into the distance. “Dad sure knew how to have fun. The adventurous type, you know?”

  She nodded. “Like father, like son?” she asked with a smile.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” he agreed. “Dad, my brother and I, we did all the manly things. Fishing, hunting, scuba diving, you name it.” He stopped again. “Until he started drinking.”

  “I’m sorry, Cole.”

  He shrugged. “You know, he hardly ever drank until Mom left.” He shook his head and turned to her. “Good grief, I’m telling you my life story. Sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Let’s talk about you.”

  “Let’s not.”

  He ignored her. “I can understand why you struggle with change. You want to avoid it because it makes you uncomfortable, makes you think of your childhood days of upheaval.”

  For crying out loud, first Cheryl, now Cole. She was surrounded by amateur therapists. “Don’t tell me you just happened to bring the ink blot test?”

  He held up his hands. “Okay, okay, you win. I’m out of line here. But if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you,” he said with a wink.

  She finished her candy bar.

  Cole’s cell phone rang. “Hello? Yeah, uh-huh. When?”

  Ellie could tell something was wrong by the frown on Cole’s face.

  “I’ll be right there.” He folded his cell phone. “I’ve gotta go,” he said, rising to his feet.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Vandalism at the Shady Acres job site.”

  She groaned.

  “We can’t afford this right now,” he said, walking toward the door. “We’re going to have to make some changes.” He stopped at the door. “Can your mom drive you back to your car?”

  Ellie nodded.

  “Sorry to do this.” He blew out a sigh. “Tell your mom I said thanks for dinner.” Cole turned and walked out the door.

  Ellie watched him. “Great. More changes.” She sighed, then looked at the candy wrapper in her hand and wadded it up. Time to start a new diet….

  The next morning, Cole came charging into the office like a bull moose at a Victorian tea. “We’re going to have to keep a tighter rein on these subcontractors, Ellie. They’re getting lax at putting away supplies. Things are getting stolen. We’ve got to let them know we mean business.”

  “Good morning to you, too, Cole,” Ellie said, trying desperately to stay calm. “I see you’ve had your coffee already,” she said dryly, clicking on her computer and forcing herself to present a calm demeanor. Maybe it would help him.

  It didn’t.

  “Good morning. And yes, I’ve had my coffee. Did you hear what I said? We need to crack down on those guys.”

  “I heard.” She grabbed her coffee cup. “May I?”

  He frowned. “Yes.” He followed her to the coffeepot. “I mean it, Ellie. We can’t afford the time these setbacks cost us.”

  He didn’t have to tell her that. She was upset about it, too, but it wouldn’t help matters if they were both stressed about it.

  She nodded and poured her coffee. Pulling some hot chocolate from the cupboard, she added a spoonful of chocolate to her coffee and stirred. She turned to him. “I understand.”

  Cole gaped at her. “That is just gross,” he said, looking at the chocolate globs in her cup.

  She stirred them away. “It’s chocolate and coffee. You ever heard of mochas?”

  He clamped his mouth and glared at her. “You do understand then?” he asked, returning to the matter at hand.

  She took a sip. “Yes, Cole. I’ll look into it. What else do you want me to say?”

  “Well, it would be nice if you took something seriously for once,” he snapped.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Cole. If you think I’m not doing my job, tell me. Don’t beat around the bush.”

  “I just wish you’d show a little concern when I stress the importance of things. I might as well be telling you about the weather.”

  Her temper pushed all thoughts of calm aside and shot to the forefront. “I’m not like you, Cole,” she hissed. “I,” she said with emphasis, “handle things differently.” Her chin lifted with an air of piety.

  “That would explain some things.”

  She stiffened. “What is that supposed to mean?” Her face felt hot, burnt-toast hot.

  Morgan and Chad walked within earshot. Cole closed his mouth and pushed out a heavy sigh. She half expected to see smoke come from his nostrils. “Nothing. Nothing at all.” He turned and walked away.

  Chapter Nine

  “Jax, I can’t do this,” Ellie said, struggling to stay seated across from him.

  “What’s the problem, Ellie?”

  “Cole Preston, that’s the problem. He is impossible. I can’t work with him.” Her words were punctuated with anger, and she didn’t care. She’d had enough.

  “I know he comes across a little bossy—”

  “A little? He acts as though he’s the only one who knows anything around here. I didn’t exactly start this job yesterday, you know.” She stood and walked over to the window.

  “Listen, Ellie, you need to calm down.”

  She spun around to look at him, wanting to deck him for keeping his nose in a book. “You don’t know how it is around here, Jax. You’ve been busy.” She measured her words evenly.

  “Busy, yes. Blind, no. Now, sit down.”

  His voice took on an authoritative tone, grating on her raw nerves. She took a deep breath to calm down. “Can’t you get rid of him?” Guilt called to her, but anger chased it away.

  “No, Ellie. I need him. I need you both.”

  Her lips pressed together, and she lifted her chin. “I have to go. I have an appointment.” She stomped toward the door.

  “Ellie?”

  She turned around.

  “I’ll pray about it. You do the same, okay?”

  She turned and yanked the door open. Her thoughts whirled with her emotions. I don’t want to pray about Cole. I don’t want to pray about my attitude. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to—pray.

  Practically on the heels of Ellie’s departure, Cole stomped into Jax’s office. “Can we talk?”

  Jax closed his textbook with a sigh. “Come in, Cole.”

  “I can’t work with that woman,” he said just as the door closed.

  Jax held up his hand. “Don’t tell me, let me guess. Ellie, right?”

  “The woman is unteachable. She’s resented me from day one.” He thumped toward the window. For a moment, he stared o
ut the window then whipped around to face Jax. “You have to get rid of her. I can’t work with her.”

  “Now, hold on, Cole. I need her. I need you both.”

  Cole grunted. “I’m going to lunch early,” he announced, not caring what Jax had to say….

  Cole visited job sites all afternoon, and that allowed Ellie the time she needed to cool down. By the time she arrived home, she was ready for a walk. Donning her sweats and reliable gym shoes, she headed toward the river walk. Only two streets over, the path for walkers was a convenient way for Ellie to exercise. The walk always cleared her mind and helped her relax.

  She felt herself calm the moment she started the trail. What had gotten into her today? Cole had gotten her back up instantly, as he had since day one, and she couldn’t imagine how her insecurities had brought her this far. After all, she resented him for getting the partnership. She held on to that resentment like a pit bull with a chunk of beef. Why?

  Lord, what is wrong with me? Cole is a nice man. Why do I struggle with his authority? I resent his position. I’m jealous, inflexible, and basically a jerk apart from You.

  Ellie kicked a scrap of bark from her path and wiped the tears that escaped down her cheeks.

  Help me to see Cole as You see him, and help me to submit to his authority as my supervisor. Most of all, may he see less of me and more of You in me.

  By the time Ellie had worked through her prayer and made her one-mile trek, her heart felt much lighter. Thoughts of the pastor’s message surfaced. One thing at a time, she told herself.

  Once home, she took a shower, ate dinner and settled into a good mystery. The phone rang beside her, making her jump.

  “Hello?”

  “Ellie, this is Cole.”

  She took a deep breath. “I’m glad you called.”