by Lyn Cote
“I’ve heard differently,” her mother said, a hand on her arm. “Everyone knows you two have been spending a lot of time together, both during working hours and after hours. And I want you to know, darling, you can’t miss out on life just because you think I’m miserable. I’m okay now, Elizabeth. I’ve accepted what happened with your father and frankly, I’m very content with my life and my church work.”
Shocked, Elizabeth sank down on her chair. “Mom, you always seem so unhappy, so distant.”
“I know, and I aim to change that,” Phyllis said. “I was so wrapped up in my life, I didn’t stop to think that my feelings might rub off on you. You can’t give up on love, Elizabeth.”
“Daddy did—at least with us.”
“Your father was going through a tough time,” Phyllis said. “It wasn’t all his fault, honey. I shut him out. I turned away from him. He didn’t think I loved him anymore.”
More confused than ever, Elizabeth shook her head. “That didn’t give him the right to walk out on us. He hurt both of us, Mama.”
“Yes, he did. But that doesn’t mean you have to remain single and depressed all your life.”
“I’m not depressed,” Elizabeth said through a groan.
Jo grabbed her hand and forced her to look at her. “I’m happy now. I want the same for you and Hannah. Can’t you give Jake a chance? He’s a good man, and well, Bram says he’s been through some heartache of his own.”
“Not my problem,” Elizabeth said, even though she longed to know the whole story. Thinking she probably sounded selfish and horrid, she added, “He does seem sad at times, when he thinks no one is looking. Or when I’m especially nasty to him.” She glanced around, touched that they cared enough to talk to her, but wanting to get away from their smothering concern. “I’ll try to be nicer, okay? But you’ve got it wrong. We’re just friends, honestly.”
“Are you being honest?” Hannah asked her, a look of resolve in her eyes.
Elizabeth could feel her defenses sinking. “But what about us, Hannah? What about our pact?” She glanced back at Jo, thinking she was the cause of all of this. But Elizabeth couldn’t hold it against her friend. Jo glowed with joy and bliss, so it stood to reason she’d want that for her friends in spite of what had happened all those years ago.
“That was a silly adolescent promise,” Hannah replied. “I can’t ever forget what happened the night Johnny died, but you can, Elizabeth. It’s time to let it go.”
“But what about you?” Elizabeth asked her. “Am I just supposed to abandon you, while I go in search of the perfect man?”
“There are no perfect men, darling,” her mother said, her eyes warm with understanding. “But from what I’ve heard and seen, Jake Clark comes mighty close.”
Hannah played with a doily in the center of the table. “You don’t need to worry about me, Elizabeth. I’m going to be okay. And you don’t have to hold back on your feelings for my sake.”
Jo nodded. “I couldn’t hold back from loving Bram, even when I tried. And while I regret breaking our pact, I don’t regret marrying him. So now I’m praying that both of you find the same kind of love in your lives.”
Elizabeth shook her head again. “So you-all called me here to give me your blessings?”
“Exactly,” Hannah said. “Jake has been calling here all day. He really wants to see you tonight at the house.” Her eyes held a secretive twinkle. “So I say, go for it.”
“There’s nothing to go for,” Elizabeth replied. “I’m not going to rush into anything with Jake. I don’t want any regrets.”
“The regret would be in not trying,” Aunt Becky said.
“Thanks for your concern,” Elizabeth told them as she got up to leave. “But I’m fine, just fine.” Seeing the tears in her mother’s eyes, Elizabeth bent and hugged her mother close. “Thanks, Mama. I know it’s been hard on you all these years, but I do appreciate that you care.”
“We all care,” Phyllis told her. “Now go and see that man before he gets away.”
Curiosity killed the cat, Elizabeth kept telling herself as her sports car hugged the curve leading to the Lockwood house.
The Clark house now, she reminded herself.
Why did Jake need to see her? What had he found, and why did she care?
She cared, more than she wanted to admit. Maybe that’s why she’d automatically headed toward the house after leaving Hannah’s place. Maybe that’s why the women’s words kept ringing in her ears.
Divine intervention. It was rather strange that the very day Jake had talked about that, everyone she cared about had decided to give her some tough love.
As if she cared.
But she did care.
And she didn’t just care about that old house. She cared a lot about Jake Clark. Why’d he have to go and be so nice? Why did he make her laugh, even when he made her so all-fire mad? Why did he seem to be a good, solid businessman who worked to make sure everything was done by the book and everyone had an equal piece of the pie?
“Why’d he have to come to my town?” she said out loud as she pulled up in the driveway of the house. “And why did he buy this house? And why did I just have to go through prayer meeting with my friends and my mother?”
Glancing up at the house, she had to admit it looked better already. The house stood sturdy now, its foundation firm. It no longer listed to one side as if it might topple over onto the sidewalk. The many scaffolds surrounding it told the tale of how much work the crew was doing.
And made Elizabeth cringe with a jealous pang of regret.
“I’ll just go see what the man found,” she said, gritting her teeth against the way of things. “I’ll just smile and say how nice it looks. I’ll make small talk, and then I’m out of here. I am not here to conquer the conquering hero.”
Since it was still drizzling, she ran up the stone steps toward the wraparound porch, then nearly tripped on some old lumber lying across the rickety steps. Mortified, she managed to right herself just as the front door opened.
“You came.”
Elizabeth lifted her brows. “I’m standing here, yes. But I don’t have much time.”
“Always in a hurry,” Jake said as he guided her around old furniture and piles of torn carpet.
If he looked disappointed, Elizabeth chose to ignore it. What did the man expect? That she’d sit down and have a full-course romantic dinner with him?
Apparently, that’s exactly what he expected.
Standing in the entranceway, Elizabeth gasped as she looked into the parlor off to the right. The big empty room was drenched in candlelight from a multitude of white candles. They sat on covered furniture. They perched on the mantel and in the big open bay window. And in the center of the room sat a small bistro table, complete with fresh flowers and its own burning candle.
“Oh, my,” she managed to say.
He shrugged, stared down at his boots. “I thought you could use a nice, quiet dinner. What with you being so blue and all.”
“You did all of this? For me?”
“I had some help.”
“I’ll just bet.”
“You’re mad.”
“No,” she said, her heart heavy, her mind reeling as she tried to find her next breath. “It’s just that…I feel like I did that day I fell off my raft and into the river. In over my head.”
Jake took her hand, then smiled. “But you can stand up here, Elizabeth. See? I’ve got you. And I won’t ever let you fall.”
Swallowing the hot burning in her throat, Elizabeth took it all in, and knew she’d been set up big-time. By this man.
And by her friends and her mother.
Chapter Nine
“Guess I’m staying a while after all,” Elizabeth said, the smell of something wonderful drifting to her nose from the covered dishes on the table.
He seemed pleased with that. A grin split his face, making her heart ache with longing. He really was a good man. In fact, Elizabeth couldn’t think
of much bad about him. He was polite, smart, considerate of others, a nature lover—he’d probably been a Boy Scout. He was fair in his dealings, and he was pretty to look at. Maybe he was a dream man, after all.
But dreams didn’t always come true, and this man was too good to be true. To countermine the treacherous thoughts slinking through her head, she whirled to stare at him. “Just what exactly are you trying to do?”
He shrugged, held up one of the silver lids covering the dishes on the table. “I’m trying to have dinner with a very attractive, very interesting woman.”
Elizabeth glanced down at the food. “Is that by any chance Hannah’s famous chicken enchiladas?”
“You have a good nose.”
He lifted the lid off the next dish.
“And is that praline cheesecake?”
“Hannah’s special recipe.”
“You certainly pulled out all the stops.”
He motioned for her to sit down. “Just like you told me once—I aim to please.”
Elizabeth allowed him to help her with her chair, then waited for him to join her. “This is nice. I’m starving.”
“I’ve noticed you don’t always take the time to eat right.”
“Really? What else have you noticed about me?”
“Your eyes. I really like the way they light up when you’re working a deal.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“And I like your hair, the way it goes here and there and everywhere.”
“Terminally curly.”
“And I like how hard you work, how much you care about things, how you try to hide your heart behind all that bluff. I like all those different high-heeled shoes you wear. I just plain like you, Lizzie.”
She stabbed at the creamy chicken and cheese concoction he’d placed on her plate. “Is this the part where I tell you what all I like about you?”
“Could be. But then, what do you really know about me?”
It was an odd question, but the sincerity in his eyes made her stop and think. “I know a little. I like that you, too, are a hard worker, even though you take your own sweet time, which, by the way, drives me crazy.”
He grinned, tipped his head. “Go on.”
“I like how you take control and go for what you want, except for your constant pestering of me, of course.”
“I’m listening.”
“I like that you’re friends with Bram. Because he’s a nice person and he’s crazy in love with my best friend.”
“Uh-oh. Don’t go getting sad on me again.”
“I’m okay with it, really. Maybe a bit wistful and jealous, but happy for Bram and Jo. She’s just gushing with love and happiness.”
“Love can do that to a person.”
Elizabeth remembered Jo saying almost the same thing. “Have you ever been in love?” she asked, realizing she really didn’t know a thing about his personal life.
“I was.” He went silent, his fork of food clattering to his plate. “Want some more iced tea?”
“No, I’m good. When were you in love?”
“You first. I bet you had boys all around you in high school.”
“And grammar school,” she said, quirking her brows as she nibbled her food. “Practically had to beat ’em off with a stick.”
“I hear that.”
His grin was gone, replaced by a serious expression that was both hopeful and regretful. This look was very appealing and very dangerous. And he’d somehow managed to avoid her question.
“I’ve had boyfriends,” she said. “But nothing serious for a while now. I dated a biker once. My mother did not approve of him, let me tell you. Then it was the used-car salesman. He was nice, but he wanted a stay-at-home wife who could bake cookies. Hannah would be better suited to him, but she refuses to even consider it.”
“Well, all that’s about to change,” he said, his eyes so deep and mysterious, Elizabeth had to swallow a gulp of tea.
“Hannah, you mean? Do you know something I don’t know?”
“I’m not too worried about Miss Hannah. I’m talking about you, Lizzie. You and me. Things are going to change between us.”
Disappointment surging through her like a current of electricity, she nodded. “Good. At last you understand that we can never have anything between us beyond a working relationship, a friendship of mutual respect and admiration.”
“You didn’t hear me right.”
“Oh? What’d I miss?”
“Things are about to get serious between us, real serious.”
Her heart was beating against the thick cotton of her sleeveless turtleneck. She could feel it fluttering there, trapped and trying to escape. “I told you—”
“I know what you told me. But I’m telling you that I’m falling for you. And that’s that.”
She got up to spin around the candlelit room. Her shadow danced along the walls like a ballerina trying to find an exit. “I don’t even know about you, Jake. You haven’t told me anything about Fort Worth and your former life. You’re like some dream that just popped into my head. A dream that I can’t accept.”
He got up, came to stand behind her as she stared out the big bay window. The rain was still falling, a gentle, slow shower that caused light-pink crape myrtle blossoms to drift down around the porch.
“I’m not a dream, Lizzie. I’m flesh and blood, and I’m not perfect by any means. You asked me if I’d ever been in love and I have. I’ve loved so deeply, that even now it hurts me to think about it.”
She pivoted to stare up at him. “What are you saying?”
The raw pain in his eyes told her that this was very real. He turned away to stare at a grouping of candles sitting on an old table. “I was married.”
Elizabeth gasped and sank back down on her chair. “Why didn’t you say something? Bram never—”
“I asked Bram not to tell anyone.”
“What’s the big secret? You’re ashamed of being divorced?” She wanted to shout See, you’re not so perfect, after all. But the wounded look in his eyes told her to keep that thought to herself.
“I didn’t get a divorce.” He sighed, ran a hand down his face. “I’m a widower.”
Elizabeth was glad she was sitting. She might have dropped to the floor, her knees felt so weak. “What? You mean—”
“I mean my wife died a few years ago. My wife and my little girl.”
Elizabeth felt physically ill. Her hands were shaking, her skin felt clammy. Hot moisture blurred her eyes. “Oh, Jake.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “What happened?”
“I killed them,” he said, the sharp-edged tone of his voice cutting like stone.
Elizabeth blinked back tears. “You…I don’t believe that. What are you talking about?”
He stood looking out at the darkening night. “I grew up in a big family. We didn’t have much. I had to scrape and save for everything. I had to fight for money, an education, a good job. I got all that and more by working hard, day and night.”
She didn’t speak. She just sat waiting to hear the rest, her heart shifting and falling away from that wall she’d built up around it.
“I fell in love with Trisha the minute I saw her. We got married and after I started making good money, we decided to have a baby. A couple of years later, Melissa came along. Everything was great, except that I worked such long hours, I didn’t get to see them very much. I missed out on Melissa’s first time to sit up, the first time she crawled. I missed out on her first steps. But I was too blinded by ambition and the need to make more money to worry about that. After all, we had it all on tape, right?”
He turned then to look down at her. “So you ask me how I can be so laid back and unconcerned now? Well, I learned that lesson the hard way. The night they died, I was running late for a meeting. It was Melissa’s fifth birthday and I had promised I’d have dinner with them. We had an early dinner, then I insisted that I had to get to my meeting. Trisha got so mad at me, but she didn’t argue with me. I hu
stled them in the car to get them home. We were about two blocks from our house and I was going way over the speed limit. I didn’t see the other car—”
“Jake, please.” Elizabeth jumped up. She rushed to him, tried to hold him, but he pushed her away. So she stood staring at him, her mind whirling with memories of another accident on another night long ago. The night Johnny Harrison had died. “Stop, Jake. Don’t talk about it any more.”
“I don’t talk about it, don’t you see? I don’t allow anyone ever to talk about it. It just hurts so much.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He glared at her, his eyes full of memories and guilt. “Yes, it was. It was all my fault.” He sank down on the window seat. “The day I buried them, I made a promise to God that I would never get in a hurry like that again. I made a vow that I wouldn’t let ambition or money make me so blind that I couldn’t see what was really important. So you have to understand, Lizzie, I don’t rush things now because I’ve learned that nothing, I mean nothing, is as important as having someone to love. I still get the job done, but I will never again sacrifice my time or my heart to work, to a career.” He turned to stare over at her then, tears misting in his eyes. “I had it all, everything a man could ever hope for, and in one split second, I lost it all. A man never forgets that kind of hurt, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth went to him, falling down on her knees in front of him. “Jake, oh, Jake. And here I thought—”
“You thought the worst, that I was just some good ol’ boy out for fun, a man who didn’t take life seriously. Well, I take life very seriously, let me tell you.”
“You called me Elizabeth,” she said, tears trailing down her face while the rain fell outside. “You called me that earlier, when you told me you wouldn’t let me fall. I think it’s my turn to hold you up.”
He looked down at her, then reached his hands down to cover her face. “Elizabeth, such a pretty name. But you’ll always be Lizzie to me.” He ran his hands over her face, his eyes drenching her with a need that left her open and exposed, but also washed clean.
“Jake, I’m so sorry.”