by Leanne Banks
* * *
Three
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Joshua stood in the rain staring after her long after the sound of her bad muffler disappeared. He stood there in the dark, in the mud, in the rain.
Like a fool.
He snorted and trudged toward the house. From the way he'd reacted, one would think he'd never touched a woman, let alone been kissed by one. Swearing under his breath, he rolled his shoulders. His damp shirt clung miserably to his skin.
Maddie Palmer was trouble.
Although Joshua didn't possess a great deal of experience with women, he'd always believed he had well-developed instincts.
Maddie defied those instincts.
She was a flake with a good heart. A flirt with good intentions.
Underneath it all, though, Joshua sensed a strong inner core of strength, and he felt a connection with her. In a way, she was like him. She would do what had to be done. But he wondered how she managed the easy smiles if she was half as scared as he'd been when he'd begun raising his child alone.
He thought back to how she'd nearly knocked the stuffing out of him when she'd kissed him. She looked good, smelled good, tasted good, but she wrecked the natural order of things.
The woman was trouble.
* * *
When Maddie pulled into her driveway, it was around ten o'clock. Her stomach was growling and David was waking up. Bone weary, she removed him from his seat and made her way into her town house apartment. "Okay, sweet Pete, I bet you're going to want to eat and play a little. Just let me get a ham sandwich," she whispered. "It won't take me but a minute."
Setting him down in the portable folding crib, she zipped into the kitchen. No sooner had she slapped mustard on two slices of bread, than the doorbell rang and David began to whimper. She poked her head around the corner and saw her brother walk through the door.
"Where've you been?" Ben asked and snitched the partially made sandwich from her hand. "I stopped by two times. I was starting to wonder if something had happened to you." He took a bite and made a face, looking at the bread. "What is this, anyway?"
Still unaccustomed to her younger brother checking on her every night, Maddie shook her head. "Right now it's a mustard sandwich. It had the potential to be a ham sandwich if you'd waited, but it was destined for my mouth," she said, plucking the bread from his hands. "Not yours. Do you mind holding Davey for just a minute while I finish fixing this?"
Ben glanced over his shoulder and gave a half smile. "Okay. But if he tries to nurse my arm like he did a couple of days ago, he's all yours."
Maddie touched Ben's arm and forced a mock-solemn expression. "Life is fragile. Since you're David's godfather, if something happened to me, you'd have to deal with him sucking on you, spitting on you, etcetera," she said. "All the time."
Ben got a slightly queasy look on his face. "I know. Why do you think I'm so concerned about your well-being?"
"Why? Because you love and adore me," she told him, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Oh, give me the kid. He's easier to deal with than you are," he grumbled.
Maddie smiled to herself as she turned to finish fixing the sandwich and pouring some decaf soda. Ben sat on the couch, telling David about women in a soft, gentle voice. Her tough brother with the shoulder-length light brown hair, single earring, meticulously developed scowl and Harley in her driveway was a sucker for her baby.
She scooted into the den and situated herself on the end of the sofa so she could eat and feed at the same time. Taking a quick sip, she stretched out her arms. "I can take him now."
Ben shrugged. "Go ahead and eat. We're having a man-to-man, and he's fine."
"Okay. Thanks." Knowing she was on borrowed time, she stuffed the rest of the sandwich down and started on the soda.
"You didn't tell me why you were out so late tonight," he prompted, and stood when the baby began to fuss.
"Ten o'clock is so late?"
"For you, it is. You haven't been out much past eight since my bud here made his appearance." David began to root against Ben's arm again. "Oh, no. None of that. Here he is," he said, then quickly turned her son over to her.
Maddie laughed and discreetly adjusted her top to nurse her baby. "I took a meal to Joshua Blackwell and his son."
He looked at her incredulously. "You drove all the way past Catawba Mountain! In that disaster you call a car—"
"Maui," she said.
"And you didn't get lost?"
"I didn't say that. I got lost, but I eventually found his house. He and his son enjoyed the meal, and I left," she said. "After Joshua changed my flat tire." And I kissed him. Her brother didn't need to know that little fact, especially since it was an action she wasn't likely to repeat.
"You're not really gonna take a meal over there every week for a year, are you? That's a little over the top even for you, Mad."
"It is not. The man helped me when I needed it, and it meant a lot to me. I want to repay that in some way." Even if it drives poor Joshua crazy? She'd seen the expression on the man's face. She'd almost wondered when he was going to lift his fingers in a cross to ward her off.
"You get stubborn about the weirdest things," Ben told her.
Maddie glanced meaningfully at the python tattoo on her brother's forearm that had prevented him from getting several jobs. "I could say the same about you."
"That's different," he grumbled.
Maddie smiled. When Ben grew out of this rebel stage, he was going to be a great guy. She met his gaze affectionately. "Thanks for checking on me."
His brown eyes softened. "No problem. Call me if you need me."
"Have you talked to Mom lately?" she asked hopefully.
"The other day," he said. "Nothing new."
Maddie fought the stab of hurt. She knew what her brother was saying. Her mother still hadn't forgiven her for getting pregnant and having a baby when she was single. Maddie was beginning to wonder if her mother would ever accept David.
"Get some rest, Maddie," Ben told her.
She nodded. "G'night."
Within a moment the silence settled over her. Looking down at her son, she fought the sometimes overwhelming fear that accompanied the silence. He was so precious, she thought, marveling at him again. So incredibly precious, and she was totally and completely responsible for his health, safety and wellbeing. She caressed his fuzzy head and struggled with tears. Many times she wondered if she was up to the job. Not that she had any choice. She would fight tooth and nail anyone who tried to take David from her.
But still she wondered, and when she got tired of wondering, she resolved that she would be up to the task. She would learn to play baseball. Heaven help David, she thought, because she couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a ball. She could in-line skate, though, and she could teach him to dance.
More important than all that, she wanted to be able to teach him to grow up happy and healthy. Believing in himself, able to give and receive, able to love and dream. Loneliness was powerful, but love and dreams were stronger.
Her mind switched to Joshua Blackwell and she frowned. He made her wonder. She'd originally thought he was a superstraight arrow. He either repressed his needs or didn't have any, she'd concluded. Maddie could hear her friend Jenna Jean fussing at her for jumping to conclusions.
She grimaced. Jenna might have been right this time. There was something unapologetically male, unforgivingly driven about Joshua. It had taken a few seconds, but he'd responded to her kiss. His mouth had begun to move in sensual exploration over hers. His chest had felt hard against her breasts. His thighs had glanced hers, making her aware of his strength and masculinity.
His response bothered her, but what bothered her most was her response. She hadn't expected her pulse to race, or her breath to shorten. She would never have predicted her knees would dip.
Well, she'd learned her lesson. Underneath that calm, stick-in-the-mud surface, was a mystery man with the potential of a powd
er keg. She wouldn't underestimate him again.
* * *
Joshua took a hot shower to eliminate the damp chill that permeated his bones after changing Maddie's tire. After a minute or two spent mentally assessing the day, he usually drifted off to a dreamless sleep. Tonight, however, sleep eluded him. When he closed his eyes, he was more aware of his body than he had been in years. His skin, his heart pumping, his breath.
He got up and swallowed a rare, double shot of whiskey, then returned to his bed. After a little while the alcohol and quiet took the edge off his tension, and he closed his eyes. When he finally began to relax, a vision of Maddie teased his mind like a buttercup under his chin. Trouble—the woman was trouble.
But she was so warm, so alive.
Joshua sighed and gradually drifted off to sleep.
And he dreamed.
* * *
Maddie smiled at Patrick when he answered the door. "Beef Stroganoff okay?"
His eyes lit up. "Yes. Come in, Maddie." He looked past her to the car. "Where's Dav—"
Sweeping past him to the kitchen, she set down her baskets, then pushed aside her slicker to reveal the top of her sleeping son's head in the front pouch she wore. "I didn't want him to get wet." She glanced around. "Where's your dad? Is this a bad time?"
"He'll be back in a minute. One of the mares is giving him a fit."
She should seize this opportunity, she told herself, and leave. She didn't really want to see Joshua again, anyway. Especially after that little overture she'd intended as a charity kiss had ended up doing crazy things to her hormones. "I don't need to stay. I can just trade dishes next week and—"
Patrick looked horrified. "You're not gonna leave, are you?"
Uncertain, she hesitated. "Well, I just wanted to bring the food. Between getting lost, having to feed the baby, and your dad changing my flat tire, I think I put a crimp in your regular schedule last week."
"I would catch he—" Patrick stopped abruptly as if some inner voice reminded him not to swear in front of a woman. "Dad'll want to thank you for bringing it."
"And try to talk me out of bringing any more meals," she muttered under her breath.
Patrick chuckled. "Yeah, but you don't have to do what he says."
Spoken like a teenager yearning for independence, she thought. She opened her mouth to respond, but the front door whooshed open and Joshua stomped in with a string of curses that would have peeled the paint off the walls.
Maddie blinked, looking at Patrick. She tentatively peeked around the corner. His head drenched, water droplets dripping from his nose, Joshua was tearing off a gray rain slicker. His expression darker than a storm cloud, he must have felt her looking at him, because he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Maddie's heart jolted. He didn't look happy.
What are you doing here?
He didn't ask it aloud, but he might as well have.
His intensity rolled through her, surprising her. The image of a powder keg poked at her again. "Hi." She gave a limp smile. "I just dropped off the meal. Hope you enjoy it. I was on my way out."
She moved toward the door, but he shifted slightly, blocking her way. "No need to rush," he murmured in his trust-me voice that reached under her skin. "There's a downpour right now."
"My windshield wipers work great," she said, and tried to edge past him. Unfortunately David took up a little more space than she estimated. She brushed against Joshua, then quickly stepped back.
"It'll be better if you wait. Have you eaten?"
Maddie hesitated, feeling trapped. "No, but I was going to—"
"Is there enough for three?"
"Not really," Maddie said.
"Plenty," Patrick called back.
Maddie frowned. No help from the son. She went for the direct approach. "You're probably not in the mood for company right now."
He lifted an eyebrow, then gave a quick exhale of amusement mixed with exasperation. "Oh, you mean because I'm about ready to shoot a prize-winning mare because she's turning up her nose at my stud?"
"Still kicking?" Patrick asked. "Are you sure she's in season?"
Joshua shot his son a dark look. "She's in season. She's just a picky, ornery female. Hell, I'm beginning to wonder if she needs violins and scented candles."
Maddie shook her head in confusion. "Excuse me. I don't really know that much about horse farms. Don't you mainly just teach riding lessons and train horses?"
Patrick laughed.
Joshua almost smiled. He pulled off his boots. "This is a stud farm. We breed racehorses. I've got a triple-crown-winner stud. He's not young, but he can get the job done nicely. Owners bring the mares to me and I supervise the settling."
"Settling," Maddie repeated.
"Breeding. Impregnation," he added when she looked confused. "Consummation."
Maddie's eyes rounded. "Oh. So you're in the sex business."
Patrick made a strangled sound of amusement.
Joshua blinked. He tilted his head to one side consideringly. "I can't say I ever thought of it that way, but, yeah, I guess so." His gaze flicked over her from head to toe. His eyes held curiosity and something else that made her slightly uneasy. "Take your coat off and stay awhile. I'll wash up."
Maddie stared after him, then slanted a glance at Patrick. "Does he always give orders like that?"
Resignation warred with rebellion in gray eyes so like his father's. "Yep. And they usually get followed."
Maddie tucked that bit of information away. A strike against him, she told herself. Though she'd always been amused by arrogant men, she'd never been the least bit interested in getting involved with one.
Both Blackwell men encouraged her conversation during the meal. Maddie would almost swear Patrick was as hungry for feminine company as he was for food. He was an interesting kid, academically oriented, but he also enjoyed discussing music. Joshua didn't talk much, but she felt his gaze on her the entire time. It was just enough to keep her feeling disrupted.
They gave her privacy to feed David, then Joshua helped carry the dishes to her car. "The rain's almost stopped," he said. "Be careful. The lane might be slippery."
Maddie buckled Davey into his seat and slid his pacifier into his mouth. As she rose, Joshua stepped closer.
"I'm curious, Maddie," he said. "Do you kiss every man who changes a flat tire for you?"
Maddie tensed. "Well, to be perfectly honest, no man has ever changed a flat tire for me. I change them myself." She shrugged, wishing there was a teensy more space between them. "But it's true that I'm an affectionate person. I hug a lot, kiss on the cheek. I'm sure it makes some people uncomfortable. But you don't have to worry. I can tell you're not the touching type, so I won't be bothering you anymore by—" She took a quick breath, blew her bangs and looked away. Why did she feel embarrassed? "By kissing you."
Joshua was silent a long, uncomfortable moment. If he would just move, she thought, then she could duck into her car and—
"Bother." He rolled the word around in his mouth as if he was trying the taste of it.
Maddie looked up at him. His gray gaze studied her.
He nodded slightly. "Yeah, you bothered me when you kissed me. Did it bother you any?"
The hint of sexual challenge in his voice surprised her. She considered lying, but as in most things, Maddie always got caught when she lied. "A little," she conceded reluctantly. "But I didn't intend it that way. More as a thank-you and because I thought you hadn't been kissed in a while."
Joshua stared at her. The corners of his mouth slowly inched up. "That was a pity kiss?"
Maddie felt her face heat. Thankful for the cover of darkness, she silently swore. "A thank-you," she muttered.
"A pity kiss," he corrected.
Damn. She sighed. "It won't happen again."
"Why not?"
She ducked under his arm and quickly shut the car door. "Because I don't think you need that kind of thank-you," she retorted, walking toward the other side.
"No more pity kisses for poor Joshua," he said, razzing her.
"No." Maddie pulled open the driver's side car door, but Joshua stopped it.
"That's a shame," he said. "Maddie," he prompted when she continued to stare at the car door and not look at him.
She reluctantly glanced up at him. "What?"
"Thanks for the meal." Then he closed the gap between them and pressed his mouth to hers.
There wasn't an ounce of pity in the gesture, Maddie thought, as her equilibrium went haywire. His mouth suggested and seduced, then he took her a step further when his tongue slid past the barrier of her lips and tasted her as if it was his right.
Her mind rebelled, but her body responded. She leaned into him, and her hands dropped to his arms, clinging to him. He wasn't rough. But she could taste his sensual curiosity and determination. His strength was tempered with gentleness. A potent combination, it got to her, slid past her defenses and took her breath. She could almost feel it knocking on her heart.
No.
That wouldn't do, Maddie thought. She couldn't open her heart to a man right now. She had to make a safe place inside and outside for her and her baby, and Maddie had learned that didn't include a man.
She pushed away from him and struggled for breath. "I believe that's enough gratitude from either of us," she managed to say. "No more thank-you kisses. No more pity kisses. No more," she said, and swallowed hard. Wow. "I'll see you next week. G'night."
Not waiting for his response, she got into her car and drove down the lane, mentally chanting, No more.
* * *
Four
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Joshua stood in the rain staring after her long after the sound of her noisy, nearly dead muffler disappeared. He stared after her. Again.
He felt like a fool.
Again.
Joshua cursed and vowed that he was not going to get all worked up over a flighty woman like Maddie Palmer. He refused to attribute the dream he'd had last week to her, the first dream in over ten years. It was probably the food, he reasoned, as he stood in the rain. His stomach was unaccustomed to decent food, so his digestive system had kicked his brain into overdrive, and that was why he'd dreamed that night last week.