by C. J. Lyons
They were in the Subaru on the way home from the phone store when Lucy’s new cellphone rang. Jake Carver. She took it off speaker and picked up the handset. “Hi, Jake.”
“Mom—that’s not about my case, is it?” Megan asked. “Why can’t I listen?”
Lucy hushed her with a wave of her hand. “Did you hear about what happened?”
“Yeah. Sounds like as usual, you had all the fun while I was sifting through red tape. But I found out what happened to Cherish Walker’s mother.”
“She really is dead?”
“Yes. But you were right—she was in WitSec. She lived long enough to testify and help bring down the Reapers. Then died of cancer four years ago.”
“So all that time, she was keeping quiet to protect Cherish, while Cherish went dark to protect her mother. What a waste.”
“I’m not too sure about that. From the notes, when Cherish’s mother first came to us, she was a mess. We sent her to drug rehab and got her clean and sober. Her one condition was that everyone stop searching for her daughter and leave her in peace. By then Cherish’s trail was cold and no one had the funds to keep looking for a runaway kid, even one accused of murder, so we reached out to the Marshals and came to a mutual understanding about Cherish. For what it’s worth, the mom helped put away some pretty bad guys. In fact, she brought down most of the Reapers’ drug and sex trafficking. That paved the way for me to infiltrate what was left of the gang once they turned to gunrunning and money laundering. She was a pretty brave woman, if you ask me. Saved herself and her daughter.”
Lucy glanced over at Megan. “Can I share this with Cherish?”
“The general details I just gave you, yes. No specifics. You know how it is with WitSec—operational security trumps everything.”
“She could have left WitSec and found Cherish on her own.” She glanced at Megan. Couldn’t imagine leaving her daughter like that.
“My guess is she couldn’t risk the Reapers targeting her, and through her, Cherish.”
“Exactly what Cherish spent all those years terrified of—doing anything that would threaten her mom’s safety.”
“You need anything else from me?”
“No,” Lucy answered, her tone resigned. “Thanks, Jake.” She hung up and turned to Megan. “How about if we swing by and say hi to Grams? The cemetery isn’t far.”
Megan, still sulking about Lucy not letting her listen into a conversation about her case, jerked her chin in a nod. They drove on in silence. Lucy couldn’t stop thinking about how silence had doomed Cherish and her mother.
Finally, she couldn’t take it any more. “Ready to tell me the truth about the party?”
Megan stared out the window. “I guess. It was stupid. There’s no need to make a big deal out of it.” Except there was. And Megan felt it every time she looked at herself in the mirror. “I kinda faked my way into that party.”
“You mean you and Emma weren’t really invited?”
“No, we were—well, Emma was. But it was how she got invited.” She blew her breath out. It was all so humiliating. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” Lucy grew quiet. She didn’t press or try to guess; just waited. Totally not like her.
Finally the silence was too much to bear. “I did it. I wanted to know if Dylan liked me, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself if I let him know I liked him. So I pretended to be one of the other guys on the team, and got in on one of their group chats, and they were talking about the party and the girls they wanted to hook up with there.”
Lucy straightened, but she still said nothing. Giving Megan room. Room to wriggle like a worm on a hook, Megan thought, as she hugged her knees to her chest and looked anywhere except at Lucy. “I wasn’t on the list, in case you’re wondering. They laughed when I even put my name out there, said I was—” She faltered. Not a one of them had said anything nice about her, and these were guys she’d played soccer with for years, ever since they’d moved here to Pittsburgh. “Know what they call me? The Stick. Because not only do I look like a skinny stick with no boobs or butt, but because I act like I have a stick up my ass. All because of you. Like I’m some kind of goody-two-shoes whose mommy the famous FBI agent won’t let out of her sight.”
“Megan—” Lucy started, but Megan knew exactly what she’d say, and she just couldn’t bear her mother’s sympathy, not now when she was trying to confess.
“No. Don’t tell me you’re sorry or explain that I’m beautiful on the inside or tell me that this is just a phase and that teenage boys are idiots. That’s not the point. I know all that already.”
“Then what is the point?” Lucy asked, in a gentle tone.
Megan filled her lungs as if preparing for a deep dive. It felt like something alive pressing against her ribcage, trying to escape. “The point is, I hurt Emma.”
“Emma?”
“I was angry. Humiliated. I don’t even know why I threw her name out there, and said she was looking to hook up at the party. The other guys jumped all over the idea, added her to the invite list, and even talked about how they were going to get her drunk, maybe drug her…” She paused, waiting for Lucy, but the car was silent except for Megan’s breathing, coming fast as she choked back tears. “And I tagged along, let it all happen—I should have never talked her into going, should have told her, stopped it…”
“You did. In the end.” Lucy’s words came slowly—not absolving Megan’s guilt, but acknowledging the rest of the story. They came to a stop at an intersection. Instead of turning toward the cemetery, Lucy drove in the other direction.
“Where are we going?”
“I think before we go see Grams, you need to see someone else. Make amends. It’s not me who needs to hear the truth.”
Megan pushed her hands against the dashboard as if she could stop the car. “This is the way to Emma’s house.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be right there with you.”
“I can’t—don’t make me, please. I can’t tell her the truth. She’ll never talk to me again. No one will.”
“I won’t make you do anything. But I think maybe you know deep down inside that you want to do this. Get the truth out there—on your terms. Because you can’t keep living a lie, Megan.”
Just like Cherish Walker couldn’t. Or Jack Kutler. How many people had been hurt by their lies? Pretending to be someone they weren’t. Megan had only done it for a night, a few random texts, and it had been exhausting.
Her mom was right. She couldn’t live this way, not with this lie festering inside her like a cancer. They pulled up in front of Emma’s house. Lucy started to undo her seatbelt, but Megan stopped her. “No. This is my mess. I’ll fix it. By myself.”
“You sure?”
No. Not at all. Megan had to make a fist and release it once, twice, before her hand was steady enough to open the door. “I’m sure. But you’ll be here, right?”
Lucy reached across and pulled Megan close, kissing her on the head like when Megan was a baby. For once, Megan didn’t pull away. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”
Megan climbed out of the car. As she leaned down to close the door, Lucy said, “I’m proud of you, Megan.”
“So I’m not grounded?”
“Oh, you’re still grounded. I know you know exactly how wrong you were and what could have happened. Not just to you but to your friend. But that doesn’t mean I’m any less proud of you. It takes a lot to step up and take responsibility for your mistakes, try to make things right.” Lucy surprised Megan by rubbing a knuckle over her eye as if she were tearing up. No way. Lucy never cried—at least not in front of Megan. It would make her all too human, like a normal mom. “Don’t worry. Everything will be all right. And I’ll be here waiting.”
Megan closed the door and turned to face Emma’s house. She could do this. She would do this. It would feel awful and horrible and she might lose a friend… She thought of all the terrible things Lucy had had to face—not just the danger, but things
like seeing dead kids or telling their families or admitting that a killer had gotten away with murder.
For the first time, she understood why Lucy threw so much of herself into her job. It wasn’t because she cared more about those kids she was trying to protect than she did about Megan, it was because it was the only way she could get up in the morning and face the world. Knowing that she was doing the right thing, doing what she could to make the world a safe place for kids like Megan.
It was because Lucy wanted so much more for Megan. And she was willing to fight for it with everything she had. Even if it meant risking her own life.
No way in hell was Megan going to let her down.
Megan reached the front door and rang the bell. “Is Emma home? I need to talk to her. It’s important.”
It took all my courage to step into Sylva’s hospital room. In fact, I’d waited so long in the hall, listening to her parents and the rest of her family fuss over her, that the flowers I’d bought in the gift shop were already wilting. The sales clerk had made me buy two bunches to get enough of the good ones. I’d had to unwrap them to get rid of all the stupid carnations dyed ridiculous cheerful colors. Sylva hated carnations; she called them the Wonder Bread of flowers. But I’d wanted to get it just right—or maybe I was just being a coward, stalling for time.
Finally, it wasn’t up to me. A nurse’s aide came down the hall with a thermometer and blood pressure machine and gestured to me to push the door open. I held the door for her and stood there as she bustled with importance, checking Sylva’s vitals while everyone else was checking me out.
I’d met Sylva’s aunt and one of her cousins ten years ago when I hid out with them at their trailer in Cherokee, but they weren’t here to ease my introduction to the remainder of the clan. It seemed like the rest of the known universe was here, though. The redheads with the freckles belonged to the Wrights, and the mixed heritage African-American-Cherokees were from Sylva’s mom’s side. I guessed that the man perched on the chair scooted up beside her bed was her dad, and the woman nestled beside her on the bed, her hand-painted caftan flowing out like a river of color against the white sheets, had to be her mother.
Sylva saw me and her face tightened around the thermometer in her mouth. Was she trying not to laugh? Or furious that I dared show my face ever again? I held my breath, waiting for the answer, ignoring everyone else who also watched and waited.
Finally the nurse left, with a wry glance over her shoulder in anticipation of the drama about to unfold. I stepped forward with my meager offering. “I threw away all the carnations.”
Sylva examined my bouquet with the intensity of a surgeon dissecting a brain tumor. “So you did.”
She took the flowers and waited. My empty hands filled with sweat. I rubbed them against the hem of my tank top. “You were right. About coming here. About not living a lie.”
A hint of a smile tickled her lips, and I felt bold enough to continue. “Mr. and Mrs. Wright, I’m Cherish Walker. I’m the reason why your daughter has stayed away for so long and the reason why she’s hurt now, and I’m very sorry for everything. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Sylva nodded, a silent urge for me to continue. It was already one of the longest speeches in front of one of the largest audiences I’d stood before in a decade, but I knew what she wanted to hear. Joy bubbled up through me, squelching my anxiety as I realized how desperate I was to say the words.
“I hope you’ll forgive me,” I repeated, reaching my hand to take Sylva’s, “because I love your daughter very much and she saved my life.”
Sylva wove her fingers around mine, forging an unbreakable chain. Her mother glanced at her father, but there were tears in her eyes. I was scared I’d just ruined everything. I couldn’t take Sylva away from so many people who loved her, not again.
But then Mr. Wright stood and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leaning across the bed to gather his wife and Sylva into the embrace. “Welcome to the family, Cherish. And thank you for bringing our daughter home safe and sound.”
Lucy will be back in 2018 in an all new adventure: BITTER TRUTH! Until then, keep reading for more info on CJ’s Thrillers with Heart:
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Lucy Guardino FBI Thrillers
Everything a great thriller should be—action packed, authentic, and intense.” ~Lee Child
SNAKE SKIN, a USA Today Bestseller
BLOOD STAINED, a USA Today Bestseller
KILL ZONE, a Suspense Magazine Book of the Year
AFTER SHOCK, a novella
HARD FALL, Winner of the 2015 Thriller Award
BAD BREAK, a novella
Beacon Falls Mysteries, Featuring Lucy Guardino
If you enjoy captivating suspense and intelligent storytelling, with strong and vulnerable characters and a freight-train pace, then you'll love the rush of this heart-pounding thriller.” ~Fantastic Fiction
LAST LIGHT
DEVIL SMOKE
OPEN GRAVE
GONE DARK
BITTER TRUTH (coming 2018)
Renegade Justice Thrillers, featuring Morgan Ames: Meet Everyone’s Favorite Teenage Psychopath…
FIGHT DIRTY, Renegade Justice #1
RAW EDGES, Renegade Justice #2
ANGELS WEEP, Renegade Justice #3
Compelling…I love how the characters come alive on every page.” ~Jeffery Deaver
Fatal Insomnia Medical Thrillers: What Keeps You Awake at Night?
FAREWELL TO DREAMS, Fatal Insomnia Book #1
A RAGING DAWN, Fatal Insomnia Book #2
THE SLEEPLESS STARS, Fatal Insomnia Book #3
CJ Lyons scores a major triumph. Totally absorbing and impossible to put down.” ~Douglas Preston
HART and DRAKE Medical Suspense
A pulse pounding adrenaline rush.” ~Lisa Gardner
NERVES OF STEEL, Hart & Drake Book #1
SLEIGHT OF HAND, Hart & Drake Book #2
FACE TO FACE, Hart and Drake Book #3
EYE OF THE STORM, Hart and Drake Book #4
Shadow Ops, Romantic Thrillers
CHASING SHADOWS, Shadow Ops Book #1
LOST IN SHADOWS, Shadow Ops Book #2
EDGE OF SHADOWS, Shadow Ops Book #3
A high-stakes adventure with dire consequences.” ~Steve Berry
About CJ:
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over thirty novels, former pediatric ER doctor CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about in her cutting edge Thrillers with Heart.
CJ has been called a “master within the genre" (Pittsburgh Magazine) and her work has been praised as “breathtaki
ngly fast-paced” and “riveting” (Publishers Weekly) with “characters with beating hearts and three dimensions” (Newsday).
Her novels have twice won the International Thriller Writers’ prestigious Thriller Award, the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award, the Readers’ Choice Award, the RT Seal of Excellence, and the Daphne du Maurier Award for Excellence in Mystery and Suspense.
Learn more about CJ’s Thrillers with Heart at www.CJLyons.net
Want more of CJ Lyons’ Thrillers with Heart? Download the complete booklist at CJLyons.net
LUCY GUARDINO THRILLERS:
SNAKE SKIN
BLOOD STAINED
KILL ZONE
AFTER SHOCK
HARD FALL
BAD BREAK
LAST LIGHT
DEVIL SMOKE
OPEN GRAVE
GONE DARK (coming 2017)
RENEGADE JUSTICE THRILLERS, featuring Morgan Ames:
FIGHT DIRTY
RAW EDGES
ANGELS WEEP (coming 2017)
FATAL INSOMNIA MEDICAL THRILLERS:
FAREWELL TO DREAMS
A RAGING DAWN
THE SLEEPLESS STARS