Kate lowered her head, her hands firmly clenched together in front of her. “That was an illusion,” she said softly.
“Like hell it was.” Kyle growled. “Is your reaction to my touch, and when I kiss you, an illusion as well? Should we see what happens?” He stood mere inches in front of her now, but he made no move to touch her. She held her breath. If he kissed her now, it would be all over. She would confess her love for him.
The heat from his body seeped through her skin, and she wished fervently that he would just pull her into his arms and end her torture. Abruptly, he turned away from her, and ran his hands through his hair. Kate’s hand reached out, drawn to him like a magnet, but she quickly pulled it back to her side again.
Kyle paced the small space of the room. Finally, he spun to face her. She gasped at his strained and angry look. The raw pain in his eyes shot straight to her soul.
”You’re right,” he sneered. “You don’t belong here. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I’ve never felt anything as real as my love for you. I would have moved heaven and earth if I could to make you happy. I suppose it was wishful thinking that you might love me back. Good bye, Kate. Have a nice life in Boston.”
He turned and headed for the door. He stopped. Without looking back, he said, “Here’s enough money for a stage ticket to St. Louis, and train fare from there to Boston.”
He tossed an envelope on top of the dresser, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Kate flinched at the loud thud.
She stood rooted to the spot, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle, staring at the closed door. Her hands covered her face, and she shuddered. The tears fell into her palms. Her body shook, and her knees went weak. Stumbling to the bed, she fell onto the mattress. She buried her head in the covers, wishing they would simply swallow her up. She cried, her fists clenched tightly around the material of the top quilt.
Kate wished crying would expel all the misery bottled up inside her. She knew there weren’t enough tears to make that happen. Seeing the anguish on Kyle’s face and in his eyes, knowing she was the cause of it, proved to be far more painful to bear than the life she’s been trying to flee. She would much rather see his hatred and contempt than the hurt so clear in his eyes.
Kate sat up at the edge of the bed, and wiped at her tears. With sudden clarity, she knew what she had to do in the morning. Her body quivered when she inhaled. It was time to do something right for the first time in her life.
Chapter 19
Kyle tightened the cinch around Blackjack’s girth with more force than necessary. The gelding sidestepped away from him and swished his tail.
“Get back here,” Kyle growled, even though he knew he shouldn’t let his frustration out on the horse. He rammed his Winchester into the saddle’s scabbard, then hooked his finger under the ties of his bedroll, checking to make sure it was secured behind the seat.
Rosie nickered from one stall over. She’d probably sensed that he was leaving her behind.
“I’ll be back for you, old girl,” Kyle called to his mare. He reached his hand out to rub her nose.
Do you know how lucky you are to belong to Kyle. Kate’s softly spoken words to the mare less than a week ago echoed in his mind. She’d said those words shortly before he asked her to marry him. Somehow, Kyle had thought she was referring to herself, rather than the horse. He kicked at a pile of straw on the ground.
“Dammit.” He slammed his fist into the wooden post between the two stalls. Rosie whinnied nervously and moved to the far corner. How many sleepless nights would he have to endure to forget Kate? She occupied every crevice in his mind. Everything he did, everything he saw, seemed to trigger some memory of her.
Letting her go was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He could have pulled her into his arms, kissed her senseless, and bent her to his will. He didn’t have to leave the money for her journey home. She’d have been stranded in Virginia City. She didn’t even own the clothes on her back. Kyle knew he couldn’t live with himself if he did that. Too many times, he’d seen what happened to wild animals that had been caught and caged. They lost their will to live. The last thing he wanted was for Kate to resent or hate him because he’d forced her to be tied to him. Knowing he’d done the right thing didn’t ease the pain in his heart.
Kyle had left his parent’s home early this morning, and concluded his business transaction with Harry Wilcox, the buyer of his three horses. He’d said his good byes to his parents, reminding them that he’d be back within the month to pick up Rosie.
“Is there anything we can do, Kyle?” his mother had asked, her eyes filled with concern. “I can see how deeply you care for Kate.”
“She’s made it clear she’d rather be in Boston,” Kyle said. “I can’t force her to love me, now can I?”
“It just doesn’t make any sense that she’s going back, after everything you’ve told us about her,” his mother continued.
Kyle sighed. “Look, I need to be on my way. I’ve wasted enough time already. The trip here would have taken me only two days, but with Kate along . . . I didn’t want to push her too hard on the trail. I’m going to have to make up the time. I was supposed to meet Hiram Devereaux in Helena tomorrow. That’s obviously not going to happen.”
“Aren’t you going to at least say goodbye to her?”
“I’ve said everything I needed to say last night.”
“All right, Kyle. You be careful.” His mother had given him a warm hug. He shook his father’s hand.
“Sorry it didn’t work out for you, son.” For once, his father didn’t have much to say.
His mind back in the present, Kyle took a deep breath, and reached for Blackjack’s bridle that he’d hooked over his saddle horn. The gelding readily accepted the bit, and Kyle adjusted the leather neck strap.
Rosie reappeared at the front of her stall, apparently satisfied that Kyle’s anger with the post had been temporary. She stuck her head over the fence. The mare’s ears pricked forward suddenly, and she whinnied a loud greeting. Kyle stiffened. Someone was in the barn, and it was no stranger, judging by his mare’s reaction.
“Kyle?”
The sound of Kate’s soft voice behind him flooded his body with adrenaline. He dared not hope. Slowly, he turned around. She stood just inside the barn, her hair a mess, and her face flushed. Her eyes looked swollen and bloodshot. Did she run all the way from the mercantile to here?
Kyle dropped Blackjack’s reins, and took a hesitant step out into the barn aisle. He swallowed several times. What was she doing here? Her wide, panicked eyes locked onto his. With a loud sob, she ran to him. Kyle’s heart soared, and he opened his arms. She fell against him, and he pulled her into a fierce embrace, lifting her off the ground. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Nothing had ever felt so good.
Kate wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and her body shook. Kyle’s mind raced. She had a change of heart. She’d come back to him, of her own free will. He buried his face in her hair along her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of the woman he loved.
“Katelyn,” he rasped. “Sweetheart.” He released her, and cupped her tear-streaked face in his hands, brushing away the wetness and the hair that clung to her cheeks. His head bent toward hers, and he claimed her mouth with fervent urgency. He could scarcely believe she was here. His hands explored her face, the back of her neck, her hair, just to prove to his mind that this was real.
Kyle forced his mouth away from hers, and kissed her salty cheeks, then buried his face in her hair again, before pulling back to look at her. His breathing came in quick and shallow gasps, as if he’d been running for his life.
“I love you, Kate,” he said huskily. He held her close, unwilling to let go.
“I was afraid you’d be gone, that I’d be too late.” Her voice quivered. “There’s something I need to tell you, Kyle.” Panic flooded her eyes. She swallowed nervously. Kyle kissed her lips gently.
“What is it, sweethe
art?” he whispered.
She took a deep, shuddering breath. Her hand reached up to touch his face. “A little over three weeks ago, I met a man who, from the very beginning, treated me with nothing but kindness and respect. A man who made me feel things, despite everything I shouldn’t be feeling, and . . . stole my heart . . . I love you, Kyle.”
“Kate.” He swallowed. “Do you have any idea how I’ve longed to hear you say those words to me?”
“There’s something you have to know about me. I owe you an explanation.”
Kyle held her face between his hands. He smiled broadly, then pulled her back into an embrace. She collapsed against him and sobbed into his chest. She’d just admitted she loved him. There was nothing else he needed to hear. He kissed the top of her head, and stroked her back, then held her at arm’s length. He wiped the tears off her face.
“Shhhh,” he whispered. “Don’t say anything right now, Kate. I’ve always encouraged you to speak your mind, but right now, just this once, I’m asking you to be quiet. I want to ride away from here with the memory of you telling me you love me. Nothing else.”
“Kyle, I came here to do the right thing. I need to tell you—” He didn’t let her finish, and covered her mouth with his. She was so soft, so pliant in his arms. He never wanted to let go. He was ready to cancel all his plans, unsaddle Blackjack, and simple hold this woman in his arms. With great reluctance, he broke the kiss, stoking her back, her hair, her arms. Meeting that railroad owner no longer seemed important, but he couldn’t skirt his duty.
“There’s not a damn thing you could tell me that’s going to change how I feel about you. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out. When I get back.” He paused, and stared into her eyes. “Katelyn, don’t go to Boston. Stay here in Virginia City. My folks’ll be glad to have you. Promise me you’ll wait for me to get back.”
Her eyes quivered, and filled with fresh tears. Kyle kissed her lightly, and drew her head against his chest, holding her tightly. He wanted to brand the feel of her into his memory. It would have to get him through the next three weeks while he was gone.
Kate squirmed in his embrace, and he loosened his hold.
“Promise you’ll stay,” he said again, cupping her face in his hand.
“Kyle, I really need to tell you something,” she whispered.
“Tell me when I get back.” He stroked her cheeks.
She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily, and tears escaped down her face. She sighed heavily, then nodded. “All right, Kyle. I’ll stay. I’ll wait for you. But then you have to hear me out.”
A fresh wave of adrenaline heated his insides. When he returned, she’d be his. Nothing she had to say to him could change his mind. “That’s all I’m asking right now,” he said hoarsely, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, Katelyn.”
“I love you, Kyle. God help me, but . . . I love you.”
*****
“I love you, Kyle.”
Kyle was the happiest man alive. Two days ago, he’d nearly gone mad with the thought of losing Kate. He’d been sure he’d never see her again, unless he followed her all the way to Boston. Something he admittedly would have done once his assignment was over. Now, she’d promised to wait for his return.
He’d wanted to ask her again to marry him, but he’d held back, knowing he had to ride off and would be gone for at least three weeks. Now that she’d declared her love for him, there was no reason why she might turn him down again when he did ask her to be his wife. Whatever trouble she might be in, he’d find a way to help her. There was nothing she could say that would keep her from him again.
Kyle urged Blackjack down the bustling main street of Helena. He’d made good time, but he was still a day behind schedule. It didn’t matter. In his last correspondence with Hiram Devereaux, the date for their departure into the Yellowstone Wilderness was set for tomorrow. Kyle would have liked to have had another day to finalize the preparations, but he didn’t want to delay this trip even one more day. The sooner he brought this expedition home, the quicker he could be back with Kate.
Kyle pulled Blackjack to a halt in front of a Victorian mansion located at the edge of the city, and gazed at the grand two-story building. His cabin seemed like a mere shack in comparison. He’d stopped at one of the many merchant stores along the main thoroughfare in town to inquire about directions to Hiram Devereaux’s residence. The store’s proprietor had assured him he couldn’t miss the residence after telling him where to go. That certainly held true.
Kyle dismounted, and wondered where to tie his horse. A young boy rushed toward him from behind the massive house.
“I’ll take your horse, sir,” the boy said with youthful exuberance.
“Is this the Devereaux residence?” Kyle asked.
“Yes, sir,” he said, then a worried crease appeared on his forehead. He seemed to be studying Kyle with a concerned look on his face. “Mr. Devereaux doesn’t see anyone without an appointment.”
“He’s expecting me.” Kyle smiled at the boy. He reached his hand into the small leather pouch around his neck, and withdrew a coin, tossing it to the boy. “Can you give my horse some water?”
The boy’s face lit up in a wide grin. “Yes, sir. Right away.” Taking the reins from Kyle’s hand, he led Blackjack down the side of the house.
Kyle eyed the stone steps leading to the front entrance of the mansion. A porch wrapped around the building, its roof supported by stone pillars. He climbed the steps two at a time. The front door swung open before he had a chance to knock. A short, plump woman wearing a black maid’s dress, complete with white apron and cap, appeared from within.
“Kyle Russell here to see Hiram Devereaux,” he said, hoping it sounded formal enough. He almost rolled his eyes. Kate must be rubbing off on him. Since when had he been concerned with formalities? Just thinking about her made him smile. He tried to picture her in a house such as this.
The woman stared at him for a moment, her eyes assessing his appearance. She was probably wondering if he would soil the floors with his moccasins if she allowed him to enter. Surprisingly, she stepped back, pulling the door open wider.
“Mr. Devereaux was expecting you yesterday,” she said in a hushed tone.
“I got delayed.” He shrugged, and entered the house. The hardwood floor creaked slightly under his steps, the sounds amplified by the high ceilings and general openness of the hall. His parent’s entire mercantile could fit into this area alone. An ornately carved wooden staircase to the right led to the upstairs.
“I’ll announce your presence. Please wait here,” the woman said, and curtsied, then turned quickly and headed for a set of double-wide doors to the left. She knocked quietly, and a gruff voice told her to enter.
“The scout, Mr. Kyle Russell is here to see you, sir.”
“About time. Send him in, Eliza.”
The maid reappeared, and motioned for Kyle to enter. Curious, he stepped through the door she held open for him. Floor-to-ceiling book cases made up the walls of this room. A brick fireplace commanded the wall on the left. Kyle’s eyes roamed the rest of the room. A large-bodied, balding man, whom Kyle judged to be in his mid to late forties, sat behind a large cherrywood desk. It was strategically positioned in front of a huge stain-glassed window, giving the man a complete overview of the room. By the looks of him, he spent most of his time behind that desk, and not enough hours outdoors. Kyle assessed the man discretely. His tailored suit couldn’t disguise his bulk, and he wondered vaguely if this man was fit enough for a journey through the mountains.
Peering up from a stack of papers in front of him, he said in a gravelly voice, “You the scout, Kyle Russell?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You’re a day late.”
“Yes, sir. I had family business to attend to. But we’ll still be ready to leave first thing in the morning. I can inspect your gear right now, and make sure everything is in order.”
Hiram Devereaux waved a dismissive hand
at him, painting swirly gray patterns through the air with the smoke from the cigar he held between two fingers. “My three freight wagons are packed and ready to go. They’re parked down by the stables.”
“Freight wagons?” Kyle’s eyebrows rose. “My letter to you specifically stated you needed pack horses or mules. Wagons can’t get through the mountains.”
“Nonsense. I can’t pack all my provisions on mules. I need wagons.” He puffed on the stub of his cigar, the smoke enveloping him in a gray haze. Kyle’s eyes narrowed. He took a deep breath, and prayed for patience.
“Mr. Devereaux. I meant what I said in my letter. I won’t take you, or anyone else, through the mountains with wagons. It’s impossible. I’ll go through your gear, and if you provide me with some stock, I’ll have the things you’ll need packed and ready by morning.”
The man’s eyes narrowed. “Son, let me tell you something.” Devereaux pointed his cigar at Kyle. “I hired you. That means you work for me. And as my employee, you will do as I say.”
Kyle inhaled slowly. He’d met some high and mighty easterners before, but this man certainly topped them all. He was nothing but a pompous ass, and obviously used to people doing his bidding. He was about to learn real fast that Kyle didn’t bend to anyone’s will.
Kyle walked up to the desk, and placed both his palms flat on the shiny wooden surface. Leaning toward the older man, he looked him straight in the eyes, and said in a low, quiet voice, “You may have hired me, Mr. Devereaux, but let’s get one thing clear right now. Out there in those mountains, I’m the boss, and I make the rules. That way I get everyone in and out safely. If you can’t follow my rules, if you’re not willing to do things my way, I’m not taking you.”
Yellowstone Awakening (Yellowstone Romance Series Book 3) Page 16