Chuckling, he hugged her, nuzzling her neck with affection. “So go ahead and confess. How did you know?”
“Know what?”
His tender hug turned into a strong squeeze and the air heaved from her lungs even as she giggled, “Okay, okay. In the first examining room, the one you used for Belle. You had some papers there and I cleaned things up a bit. Your credit card receipts are now all neatly stacked in order, Allen Massey. So there. You’re welcome, by the way.”
Doc didn’t speak, but began rubbing lazy circles on her arm with one of his fingers. She could feel him reacting to their closeness and she knew he wanted her again. Liquid heat pierced her down deep inside in anticipation of making love another time.
“Why’s it a secret anyway?” she asked, trying to distract herself for the moment.
“It isn’t really. I just no longer tend to associate myself with the person I was before the change. They began calling me Doc and I just sort of became him instead.”
“You really hate it don’t you? Being a vampire I mean.”
He was quiet a moment and she could feel the tension in him. “I just haven’t been able to adapt to it for some reason, Jill. I get the impression I’m an anomaly because of that. Most of the other vampires I’ve been exposed to, either chose this life or they already lived a type of life that closely resembles this one. This just isn’t me, Jill. I can’t abide what they’re doing and I’m powerless to stop them. Somehow what I do, even though I tell myself it’s to protect the children, well---it makes me complicit–”
“No,” she argued, turning in his arms to face him. “I spoke out of turn. I didn’t mean it when I suggested you were a part of what they’re doing.”
Doc brushed the mussed blonde curls away from her face and smiled sadly. “I know you didn’t mean the implication. But just because you didn’t mean it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“But you can make yourself something different. You don’t have to be what they want you to be. Escape it.”
He gently turned her around so that she couldn’t look at him any longer and she sensed he just couldn’t abide the chance that he might witness even one ounce of accusation in her gaze.
“I intend to escape, Jill. Eventually, once I’ve finished my work, I’ll escape.”
She sighed a heavy breath, embracing herself with her arms atop his. “I’m afraid there’s some burden I see in you that you can’t ever escape. It’s like a weight you carry.”
Doc didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to touch that darkness inside him; the event that had finally killed off the last piece of him that was Allen Massey. But eventually she would draw it out of him. He knew she was done talking for now, that her mind was now awhirl with thoughts, and that she wouldn’t press him. This good, beautiful, kind, funny girl would give him her affection, but wouldn’t demand anything more than that at this moment. And because she wouldn’t, he decided he could let go and confide in her just a little bit more.
“His name was Craig. Black eyes, I remember he had black eyes, not really black in color, no they were actually just a plain brown, but they felt so empty when he looked into you that you felt black inside. He was probably thirteen… or maybe a little younger the first time he came to me. I always thought he seemed older,” his voice trailed a bit as he surrendered to the remembrance, letting it take hold of him. “I lost count of the number of times he was brought in. His father didn’t seem to know restraint. Always fed from him until he couldn’t even lift his own hand because of the blood loss. Finally–” he seemed to choke, sucking in a breath of air that was caught somewhere in his throat. “Then finally, Craig asked me not to save him again.”
Jill froze in place. Her hands were clinching his arms, her nails embedded in his skin while she waited for him to continue speaking. A minute or two of silence passed; she couldn’t wait any longer, “And did you? Save him?” she whispered.
“No. No, I… I let him die. Held his little body to my chest, felt his breath weaken, heard each heartbeat until it stopped and I, um… I just couldn’t let go of him, you know? I held him. It was so final. I mean, it isn’t as if I hadn’t lost patients before but I didn’t lose him–I just gave him up.”
A tear trickled down Jill’s cheek. It absorbed into the pillow and she was glad for that, so hopefully he wouldn’t notice. He wouldn’t understand her tears, but would misinterpret them. He didn’t need her sympathy now.
“He was so convincing, Jill. So sure of his decision. He said I couldn’t understand, that he knew what was best. He called himself an ‘old soul’ and said he’d lived enough to know he didn’t want to live that way anymore.”
Jill reached her hand back and touched his thigh, running her warm fingers up and down the expanse of muscle under cold, cold skin. A need for him welled up inside her. It wasn’t the lustful need she’d felt earlier. This was a desperate desire to feel him deep down inside, to love him in the most complete physical sense. “Is it wrong, Allen that I want you again. I want you again right now.”
She’d intentionally used his given name, bridging the separation of the two men within him. An animalistic growl escaped him and he rolled atop her in a single swift movement, grabbing her golden locks in his hands while he smothered her in a deep, bruising kiss. Tearing his lips from hers, he trailed wet kisses and licks down her neck and to her breasts. In one quick movement he surprised her by turning her onto her stomach, and then began caressing and massaging the muscles of her back in sensual long movements.
“You feel so good, Jill,” he told her and then smiled when she moaned as if in agreement.
“So good,” he continued as he licked then nipped her shoulder. “And so sweet.”
He ran his tongue down to the small of her back and bit gently again before speaking once more, “So absolutely pure and yet decadent all at the same time.”
“Mmmhmm,” she murmured, arching her backside toward him just as he bit into the plump skin there. It wasn’t the same sort of a bite he’d given her earlier as his teeth just barely pricked the skin. Jill moaned and then groaned when he reached a hand under her hips to touch the very heat of her.
Impatient, she rolled over and pulled him close. His touch was equally urgent when he scooped her to him to make love to her hard and fast, bringing her to rapture only moments before he too found release. He could feel the contractions of her body meld with his own and he leaned hard against her and hugged her tight until they both recovered their breath.
While Doc slid off of her and settled into the covers, Jill reached up and touched her neck where he had fed from her earlier that evening.
“Is it sore?” he asked, touching her jawline with a tender finger.
She shook her head, smiling. “No, not at all.” She reached a hand down to the marks that were still evident on her backside, rubbing each one. “But I can feel these. Not pain really. I’m just aware that they’re there.”
Doc propped his head up in one hand and looked down in the direction of her hand. “I could close them. Heal it.”
“No!” she gasped. “I like it. Sort of like a reminder.”
“Ah, so I was so unimpressive you need a reminder, eh?”
Jill laid back and put her hands behind her head. “Well, I wouldn’t say that,” she tossed him a cocky look. “But I do think it’s safe to say you won’t need a reminder.”
He snorted, but his eyes were focused on the way her breasts were shaped into perfect mounds peeking out from under the sheets. He was so intent on admiring their creamy beauty that he nearly missed the sound of a door closing down the hall. He turned just a bit so that he could listen more closely.
Vampire senses were extraordinary, not only could he detect the sound long before Jill did, but he also recognized the footsteps. He just barely pulled the blankets atop her nakedness before the door to his room was swung open.
“I know, I know, you’re pissed, but I couldn’t very well refuse to go. You know he’s always ri
ding my ass to be more productive for them and he’s already suspicious of what we’re doing. I didn’t manage to get you a fresh supply yet… well, shit!”
Jill sat upright, the blankets wrapped around her clear up to her chin. For his part, Doc managed to maneuver so that he was sitting partially between her and Charlie’s line of sight.
“I’d never have thought you’d do it. Dearmon told me about her, but I didn’t for once think you’d let her stay,” Charlie grinned wickedly. “I think I can see why you did.”
“Jill Prescott,” Doc gestured. “Meet Dr. Charles Rhodes.”
The beautiful girl nodded, wide-eyed but seemingly unconcerned with the inappropriateness of the situation. “You’ll understand if I don’t shake your hand,” she told him, still using both of hers to keep her body covered from his view.
“Perfectly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just step out into the hallway and wait for you, Doc.”
The short and pudgy man stroked his grizzled face thoughtfully for a moment, then turned and left the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, Jill fell back against the bed in a fit of laughter.
Jill watched as Doc exited the bed and headed for his dresser where he retrieved a pair of sweats from the lower drawer. She admired the muscles of his legs and backside as he slipped them up in one quick movement. He tossed her a brief apologetic look and she could tell he was terribly uncomfortable by the situation.
“Fresh supply of what?” she asked.
Without making eye contact he fiddled with refolding some of the clothes in the drawer. “I need blood to live, Jill.”
“I realize that. So he brings you blood. In other words you don’t do this with someone each time you need to feed? I think I’m relieved to hear that. I was kinda hoping I wasn’t just a drinking fountain.”
“For heaven’s sake, Jill!” aghast, he flashed his blue eyes at her, then shook his head before stuffing his arms into a black t-shirt.
She rolled her eyes at him even though he was bringing the shirt over his head and wasn’t looking at her, “Hey, I don’t know how this works, Doc. I’m well aware you need to drink blood to survive, so today I just thought maybe it was how you do it. I may be a blonde but I’m not completely stupid. I understand now what type of ‘companion’ I was supposed to be for you. I was supposed to let you drink from me, right?”
His blue eyes were cold when he refocused them on her again. “I’m sure that’s what they intended, but I wasn’t a part of those plans. I never asked them to send you to me. I don’t feed from people any more. I gave that up a long time ago.”
“Why? Surely there are people-er women who would allow you to do this.”
He strode to her with long, swift strides and took her by the shoulders. “I won’t be them. I refuse to be them. They may have made me what I am now but I won’t do that. At least I wouldn’t until you got here.”
What had been a beautiful thing for her suddenly felt wrong and sullied. She could see it in his eyes that he felt it too. There was a brokenness, a surrender. In a situation by which he felt trapped, he had found a small way to separate himself, to be better, to not become the darkness. She’d taken him over the edge.
“You, um,” she cleared her throat, slipping herself from his grasp and inching out of the bed on the side opposite him. “You should go talk to Charlie. I think I’d like to get back to my room and get a shower.”
The Present – It Is, What Is
Jill stood perfectly still after stepping through the golden door. She felt strange, weird and tingly as if her skin didn’t fit quite the same. She took a few steps and looked around, examining her surroundings. It took her a moment to realize what exactly was wrong; when awareness struck her she gasped and cried out all at the same time.
“What’s wrong?” Devan demanded, hurrying to her side and grabbing her hand. “Oh, Jill, you look different,” she said, her voice a soft breath as she gazed at her friend’s face.
Jill rolled her shoulders back, her chest forward and lifted her face high. Her expression was one of rapture, complete and fulfilling. She closed her eyes and smiled, opening her mouth just the smallest amount as she inhaled several slow steady breaths of the warm, moist air. When Devan tugged on her hand she slipped free from her trance and gazed down at her friend, “Don’t you realize?” she asked, “It’s daylight. The sun, the warmth, the light!”
Devan was the one to gasp then, her eyes darting toward the sky where a huge golden orb beamed onto them. She ran her hand down her friend’s arm as if searching for injury, but Jill wasn’t affected, her skin wasn’t burning and her flesh remained intact.
“Things are different here. Here, it is, what is.”
“Rooney!” Devan cried, releasing her hold on Jill and rushing forward to claim her childhood friend in a huge embrace, “It’s so good to see you again.”
The red-headed faery grinned impishly as he held her body close to his for just a moment longer than was necessary, then stepped toward Jill and reached for her hand.
Jill extended her fingers without focusing on him, still distracted by things above. The sky wasn’t just blue, but blue, green, purple, yellow–all colors at once coalescing in beautiful waves with a larger than life orange orb shining down on her with a delicious warmth. Her attention was drawn away from the sun when she felt him rub the knuckles of her fingers against his lips before kissing them softly.
“Beautiful, Jill,” he spoke, attracting her lavender eyes to keep contact with his green ones. “I have always wanted to do that.”
“How?” Then she shook her head, slipping her fingers from his grasp. “Do you mean you could see me too when you were looking in on Devan?”
He didn’t answer, just kept grinning at her as he released her hand.
“Things do look different here,” Devan was saying as she walked in a circle, looking out at the scenery.
Rolling green hills extended as far as their vision could reach. Huge expansive trees, like giant oaks but different, littered the landscape; their limbs sagging heavy toward the ground. Each tree contained assorted varieties of fruits that on earth would have grown on different trees. The colors around them were more vivid. They had the sort of depth and brightness of an HDTV with the color, contrast and sharpness all bumped up to the highest level. Still, it wasn’t overwhelming; instead it was beautiful. The faery realm seemed to sing to them with colors and life and intensity.
“What did that mean?” Jill asked, Roon. “You said, ‘it is, what is.”
He clasped his hands behind his back and walked toward the two women proudly. “It is a slogan of sorts for us. ‘Here, it is, what is.’ Although generally you will hear it in Gaelic. It means that here, things are seen as they truly are. You’re a perfect example, Jill. Your soul isn’t in tune with your vampire self. Here, you are what you are. A gorgeous young woman, of love and of light.”
She knew just what he meant. Somehow the black evil inside her felt small, insignificant. It was as if she had been living with a huge weight on her lungs and finally could breathe freely. With each breath in this realm she felt stronger and more alive.
Jill took a moment to study Devan’s friend Roon and realized even though he was a faery, he looked just like any human man. His hair was red and fell across his forehead in little spikes. It was easy to imagine those spikes might curl if his hair were allowed to grow longer. There was a sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheeks and although his face was long and his chin sharp, he had the look of a person who always had a ready smile.
Devan reached out and plucked a tempting looking raspberry colored fruit from the nearest tree and then gasped, “Did you see that?”
Jill saw it all right. The tree suddenly turned transparent, except for its intricate network of veins reaching from limbs to roots. The ground itself also turned invisible and they could see the roots beneath their feet glow and throb.
Roon laughed, “It’s all right. She’s just replenishing herself
. You wouldn’t have been able to pick it if she hadn’t wanted you to.”
“She?” Devan asked, her voice filled with amazement.
He only shrugged.
Devan took a bite of the strange fruit and her eyes opened with pleasure. “It’s slightly tart, but decadent. The juices almost become like molasses when they touch the tongue. Mmmm… luxurious.” Then she looked at Jill closely, approaching her. “You look so much younger and more innocent. More like the friend I knew back in college.” Then she held the bitten fruit out to her.
Since he seemed to be an expert about things in this strange world, Jill turned to him in askance. When he nodded she grabbed the fruit and greedily sunk her teeth into it. The juices splashed onto her tongue and then tightened into little beads full of a flavor like none she’d ever experienced. Of course it had been so long since she’d tasted real food, that could have accounted for how good the taste was to her. She closed her eyes enraptured.
“Good, huh?” Roon said, flicking his wrist to slap his hand to her shoulder affectionately.
Devan eyed him a moment and Jill saw her friend’s eyes narrow just a bit, then she turned her gold-brown eyes back to Jill. “Do I look different too?”
Drawing her lips to the side Jill looked her over carefully, then she shook her head. “No, not really. You look the same.”
“Devan hides nothing. Whether here or in the faery realm, she always is what she is. So, are you girls ready? We have a journey ahead of us.”
“Where are we going?” Jill asked through another huge bite of fruit. “Ah, this is sooooo good. Does everything taste this good here?”
He winked at her and watched her for a moment before speaking again. This wasn’t expected at all. He was supposed to be holding his heart closely in check because he was in love with Devan. He shouldn't be fighting to control its thumping in response to her friend Jill. But she was beautiful and lovely beyond words and the life he saw inside her heart was bursting to get free. He wanted to be there when it did. Wanted to feel her life through him.
The Bend-Bite-Shift Box Set Page 25