by Van,P. G.
“Everything!!”
“Myra and me?”
“Yes, why are you surprised?”
“I don’t have a relationship with my parents. I don’t talk to them anymore and sharing...”
He pulled her back into his arms and silently stroked her hair.
“They chose him over me.” Her voice was weak.
“Their loss!!” He left a flurry of kisses on her cheek running his fingers along her waist to tickle her.
“Stop, my tummy hurts,” she pleaded laughing from his endless tickles.
“You know how to make me stop!!”
“I-I…I love…I love you, Kris!!”
“I love you too, Varsha.”
She drummed his chest with her fists. “It’s not like I don’t say ‘I love you’, you don’t need to tickle me for that.”
“Its more fun this way,” he said taking his fingers to her waist. She reacted quickly rolling out of his arms and jumped out of the bed laughing.
“You know I can come get you!!” he threatened playfully.
“I know…let’s go get breakfast and pick up Myra from Meena’s.”
“Yes, can we get her before we go eat?”
“She won’t let you eat a single bite, and she won’t let me hold her.”
“I love that…why is that bad?”
“You’re silly.”
“Yes.” He rolled out of bed wearing his shorts. “I’m gonna go make coffee, and if you are still in the shower by the time I am back…you know I am coming in.”
“Maybe I want you to come in.” She smiled turning around to look at him as she headed into the bathroom.
“Good to know,” his voice was husky making her throb for him.
“Kris, are you hoping I will join you in the shower?” she called out from the closet almost an hour later.
“Yeah!!”
“Let’s go, I’m hungry,” she whined.
“I’ll be out in two minutes.”
“You’ve been in there…” She heard Kris’s phone ringing in the bedroom.
“Hey, someone’s calling you.” She walked towards the bedside stand where his phone continued to ring.
“Can you check who it is?”
“No number.”
“Don’t answer, they can leave me a message.”
“Okay.”
“Give me two more minutes unless you want me to walk around in a towel.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair and winked at her.
“That view is just for me, put on some clothes and move your ass…Oh, your phone is ringing again.”
“I either answer the phone or I put on clothes.”
“Fine, I’ll see who it is and take a message for you.”
“Hello, this is Kris’s phone,” she spoke into the phone poking her tongue at him.
“Hi, is Mr. Vaasireddy available?” A stern female voice asked.
“He isn’t, can I take a message?”
“This is an emergency, and we cannot leave a message. When will he be available?”
Her heart stopped and started beating rapidly, her mouth went dry as she felt sick to her stomach with fear and anxiety of the unknown. “Oh…hang on, he is here. Is everything okay?” She managed to say as she ran towards the bathroom holding the phone in her hand calling out to him.
“Speaker,” he muttered putting on his shirt, and she switched the call to speaker mode.
“I am only allowed to discuss the matter with Mr. Vaasireddy,” the woman reiterated. Her stomach clenched as her appetite died in its tracks.
“This is Kris Vaasireddy, who is this?” His body shivered to the eerie undertone in the woman’s voice.
“Hi Mr. Vaasireddy, this is the Santa Clara Sheriff’s Office. We are calling to inform you about your sister’s accident.”
“What? There’s been some mistake. My sister doesn’t live here.” His hand shivered as he took the phone from her. His heart told him it was a mistake while his mind went on high alert.
“I have the driver’s licenses of a Seema Vaasireddy and Anil Kumar. Do you know them?” He felt the ice grip his heart as it sank into an abyss.
“Yes, that’s my sister and brother-in-law. Are they okay?” His voice wavered, his palms started to sweat and he struggled to breathe.
“I am very sorry to inform you that they were involved in a fatal accident earlier today.”
“No…,” his voice was barely audible as his phone dropped to the floor. His kneecaps hit the tile floor as he felt the powerful blow to his gut.
She dropped to the floor to pick up the phone with her trembling fingers.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m calling to inform you...,” the woman continued to speak, but Kris couldn’t and did not want to hear anything else. He lay crumbled on the floor, his heart pounding in his chest as his lungs fought for air. He had talked to his sister the previous night, and he could still hear her voice as she teased him about showing up unannounced.
He remembered the day she took the blame for the broken TV remote, the day she cried for hours when he drew on her face with a permanent marker, his first official drink in Vegas on his 21st birthday, the time she showed him her engagement ring, and the moment she told him he was going to be an uncle.
He stared at Varsha deafened by his own heartbeat as she spoke on the phone tears running down her cheeks. The same tears that burnt him from the inside, tears that did not flow because he was in denial that it was his sister.
She ended the call and the look in Kris’s eyes shredded her heart to pieces. He was on the floor, his fingers gripping his hair as he struggled to breathe.
“Kris, we need to go, baby.” She pulled him off the floor gathering all her strength.
“Varsha, it’s a wrong number. It can’t be her. She was home last night.”
“I am so sorry, Kris.” She put her arms around him bearing his weight as he held her close to him resting his chin on her shoulder.
“She kept talking about giving me a surprise. It can’t be her.” His voice was shaky.
“We need to go to the medical facility,” she pleaded.
He followed her to the garage feeling a sledgehammer pound the inside of his skull.
“Varsha, we need to go get Myra,” he said absent-mindedly.
“Kris, stop it. We need to go.” She knew he was numb from the shock.
“But Myra…”
She cupped her palms on his cheeks and looked into his eyes. “Myra is safe with Meena. She will be fine. We need to go. I need you to get into the passenger seat.” She knew he was not thinking straight.
She drove in silence following the directions to the address the woman from the Sheriff’s Office had provided. Kris sat in the car without uttering a word. She couldn’t bear to see him that way and struggled to keep herself calm.
From the way he spoke about his sister, she knew they were very close, and she could not even imagine what it would be like to lose a sibling. The sibling who you are expected to grow old with, a sister that is a second mother, and the one to pick you up anytime you needed to be picked up.
“Varsha, it can’t be her,” he whispered.
“Kris, we will be there in less than ten minutes.”
“I miss her.” His body trembled uncontrollably while his mind replayed the moments with his sister.
She took a deep breath fighting back tears as she pulled into the parking lot of the medical facility. She was given instructions to meet a Mr. Bruce at that facility.
“Mr. Bruce, I am Varsha and this is Kris. The Sheriff’s Office gave us instructions to see you,” she said to the man in the lobby.
“Who is the relative of the deceased?”
“She is not dead. It’s not her,” Kris snarled at the man taking a step forward. Varsha stepped in between the men and spoke in a stern voice. “Why are we here, Mr. Bruce?”
“I’m Kyle Bruce, and I work for Child Services.”
She stared at him wondering if they, in fact, had the wro
ng number as Kris’s sister did not have kids.
“Ms. Vaasireddy was thirty-five weeks pregnant, and the doctors were able to save the baby.”
“What?” she cried in disbelief.
“The baby was born prematurely and has been in the Infant ICU the past few hours.”
Kris found a chair and slumped his body on it. He could not believe his ears.
“Is the baby okay?” she asked softly.
“Yes, other than being born prematurely, she was not impacted.”
“It’s a baby girl?”
“Yes, ma’am. I will need Mr. Vaasireddy to sign the consent to take responsibility of the child.”
“Where is my sister?” His voice was gruff as he stood up to walk towards them.
“I’m sorry, sir, I am only responsible for the child.” The guy took a step back.
“Kris, I know where she is, but we need to take care of the baby first.”
“Why didn’t we go where my sister is?” he held her by her shoulder his eyes grieving.
“Mr. Bruce, do you have the recording?” She looked at the man who stood unaffected by the emotions of a grieving brother.
“Yes.” He handed his phone to her and took a step back.
“Kris, your sister left you a message.” She stood next to him as he sat on the chair, his head supported by his palms. She put her arm around his head taking his cheek to her belly and hit play.
“I am Seema Vaasireddy…” His tears came down in torrents blasting through the floodgates as he heard his sister speak into the recorder. He could hear a machine beeping in the background as she asked him to be the legal guardian of her child. His body trembled as he dug his face deeper into Varsha’s abdomen.
She felt the burn from his tears all over her skin as she tried to soothe him. She knew it was better for him to let it out than to keep it pent up.
“Kris, your sister kept her promise to you. She made you an uncle. They left their heart behind, and you need to take care of her.”
She took the document held on a pad and handed it to him.
“It is hard, but you need sign this,” she pleaded.
He scribbled his signature without looking at the sheet and dropped the pen to the floor.
“How could this happen to them?” he uttered shaking his head.
“Mr. Vaasireddy,” a female voice interjected.
“C’mon.” She took him by his hand and headed towards the nurse that had called out his name.
“This is the Infant Intensive Care Unit. Please wash your hands before you enter the room. She is in room 18.”
The sign outside the room read ‘Baby Vaasireddy’ and a lump formed in her stomach. She took a step into the small room with the incubator that cocooned a small bundle at the center.
Kris froze as soon as he saw the tiny baby rolled in a blanket. He could not accept that was all was left of his sister. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of his parents finding out about their daughter. He watched in shock as Varsha slipped her arms under the rolled blanket and picked up the tiniest baby he had ever seen. Something deep inside clicked, and when he looked at the face he turned away unable to bear the piercing pain that rammed through his body.
“Kris, look at her,” she whispered walking gingerly towards him.
“I can’t…this is not how I wanted it.”
“I know, but you are all she’s got.” Her voice was firm but pleading.
“No.” It was half protest, the rest denial. He turned on his heel and left the small room.
She put the baby back in the incubator and thanked the nurse attending to the baby before stepping out of the room. She found Kris on the chair, his head cradled in his palms as he stared at the floor.
She looked at him for a full minute wondering how she could alleviate his pain. He was hurting, and she couldn’t bear to see him that way.
She walked over to him as he sat grieving and wrapped her arms around his head taking his face into her abdomen.
“Kris, the baby is safe here. We should go now.”
“I still can’t believe it, I talked to her last night.” He held on to her for support as he replayed his sister’s last words over and over in his mind.
“Kris…”
“What do I do with the baby?” He was horrified.
“She is your baby, our baby. We will love her just like her mother and father would have,” she said feeling him tighten his arms around her.
Chapter Twenty
“I can’t wait to see you,” she spoke on the phone on her way to the airport. It was almost three weeks ago that Kris left to India to take his sister and brother-in-law back to their birthland for their ceremonial send off. His mother had to be rushed the hospital when she found out her daughter was no more.
Varsha was there for him in spite of the twelve time zones between them and thousands of miles separating them. He knew she was the one that kept him going. She talked to him on her way to work and back and every time she visited his sister’s baby at the hospital.
“I missed you, too.” He couldn’t wait to see her; he wanted to hold her in his arms. She had the power to calm him down and soothe his pain. He had the toughest three weeks of his life; he lost his sister, came close to losing his mom when she found out about his sister, and he constantly worried about his sister’s child who was soon to be his child. It was a few weeks before he signed the adoption papers and became a parent.
She stood in the waiting area holding Myra in her hands waiting for Kris. Myra got restless and slid out of her mother’s arms and started playing with a potted plant to one corner of the waiting area.
Varsha kept an eye on Myra while she looked at the arriving passengers hoping to see Kris’s face. She scanned the faces as people walked towards her, and then she saw those eyes. The familiar eyes looked at her with deep admiration and showed lingering pain as he held her gaze. She smiled making his eyes light up as he came to her taking her into his arms. His lips were gentle as he brushed them against her lips.
“I’m so glad you are back,” she said against his cheek. “I miss your beard. I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Darn!! I was hoping to sneak past you.”
“Funny!!” she mocked.
“Where’s Myra?”
“She is busy annihilating the plant in that corner.”
Varsha watched as Kris snuck up behind Myra and started playing with the plant. Myra looked at Kris for a few seconds before crying out to him. She clung to him as he buried her in his arms. She watched them as Myra ran her chubby palms along his cheeks feeling his clean-shaven face.
“Did you miss me?” he whispered planting a kiss on her cheek.
“Yes, she did.”
“What have you two been up to the last few weeks?”
“Myra went to see the baby a few days ago.”
“Oh…how is the baby?”
“She is good. She is a fighter, she gained good weight in the three weeks.”
“Is that good?”
“Yes, it is. She is coming home tomorrow,” she cheered.
He stopped short—half in shock, half in disbelief. He had a rough three weeks and didn’t think much about bringing the baby home so soon.
“What?”
“I didn’t realize she was going to be released from the hospital so soon.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
“She’s a tough one. I’ve already talked to Myra’s nanny about watching both kids and made a sweet deal with her.” Varsha was just excited to bring the baby home to give the baby the environment to thrive.
She followed him in silence to the parking lot as he cooed to Myra, holding her in his arms. She knew he was having the most trying time of his life, was dealing with a lot, and she needed to give him his space while giving him all the support he needs.
*****
She rolled to her side in her sleep hoping to gain contact with the warm body that comforted her earlier that night. She opened her ey
es to a dimly-lit room and an empty bed. She lay partially awake and hoped to hear the toilet flush or the footsteps that confirmed it wasn’t a dream and Kris was back from India for real.
She waited patiently listening to the rain slash against the window. She sat up when she realized he wasn’t in the bathroom. She tiptoed towards her baby’s room and stuck her ear to the door before turning the doorknob. Myra was deep in sleep and no Kris.
She tightened the tie on her robe and went down the stairs hoping to find him in the kitchen. The digital clock showed two hours past midnight when she found Kris standing by the door on the very first step that led to the backyard. He stood looking out into the rain and didn’t move. She debated if she should head upstairs and give him his space or do something about it.
Her heart and mind were aligned as she walked towards him to have him step indoors out of the cold and moisture that managed to hit the first step in spite of the roof extension.
“Kris.” Her voice was barely audible as she slipped her arms around his waist from behind. He ran his ice cold and damp arms over hers. “Why aren’t you in bed?”
“Why aren’t you in bed?” she retorted flattening her chest against his back.
“I’m jet-lagged, what’s your excuse?”
“I missed you.”
“You should go back to sleep. It’s gonna take a few days to get over my jet lag.”
“What are you not telling me?” He did not respond.
“You told me you never have jet lag, and here you are out in the rain making excuses.”
“She loved the rain…the petrichor…the first rain was always special. She would stand on the deck and watch the rain no matter what time it started.”
She cringed in silence feeling the pain torch her and tightened her hold on him. She had no words to say to him, and her mind raced to find a way to cheer him. He was so calm and composed all day she almost forgot he was grieving.
“I’m sure you made fun of her for that,” she dared to say in hopes of creating a distraction.
“Damn right I did. It was the weirdest thing to do!!” She couldn’t tell if he was smiling, but his voice felt lighter.
“I’m sure she wanted to do this every time you made fun of her.” She let go of his waist and gave him a gentle push forcing him to step into the rain. He laughed, half surprised but the sound of pure joy was music to her ears.