“Fair enough.”
We sat there for several long, silent moments just holding hands. Finally I worked myself free of his grasp and forced myself to my feet. “We’re throwing a party here tonight after work. It was Lisa’s idea. Kind of an end-to-winter-break thing.”
“Am I invited?”
My voice was hoarse when I said, “Yeah.”
As I left him there and made my way back to my room, all I could do was hope that leaving with him—and not trying to run away again—would turn out to be the right decision.
SEVEN
My last day at the resort was uneventful. Daniel was gone from the condo when I got up, and although I couldn’t see him, I felt him watching me—as I walked to work, as I trudged home. A tiny part of me wished he’d join me as I made my way through the snow. Part of me was glad for the distance between us, until I realized that it almost made tonight seem like a date.
Still, I couldn’t describe the anticipation rushing through me as I got ready for the party. Or the insecurity.
“Be still,” Lisa commanded.
“But I want to see.”
“When I’m finished.”
She was applying makeup to my face. I’d practiced a little with the girls at school but had never quite mastered the skill.
“You won’t make me look like a clown, will you?” I asked.
Lisa growled, and if I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought she was a Shifter.
“Relax. Just relax. I was the makeup artist for all my high school productions. I practically live at Sephora.”
She said that as though it was supposed to mean something to me.
Leaning back, she studied me for a second. “You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you? Did you escape from some religious commune or something?”
“No.”
“Daniel—is he taking you back? Do you need help?”
I grabbed her hand. It was so much easier when I knew no emotions would blast through me. “I’m fine. I just grew up in a small town, went to a girls’ boarding school, have never really flourished in the dating scene, that’s all.”
“Okay, if you say so. But Daniel really likes you.” She moved in toward me, and I stopped her with a hand to her shoulder.
“How do you know that?”
“Duh? The way he looks at you.”
“Exactly how?”
“It’s just so intense. Like you mean everything to him. Like he can’t stand the thought of a minute without you. And tonight he is really not going to be able to take his eyes off you.” She spun me around to face the mirror.
I gawked at my reflection and slowly came off the stool. She’d taken scissors to my hair to create wispy bangs. I couldn’t tell that she’d put on makeup, but my caramel-shaded eyes were larger, luminescent, exotic. She’d somehow enhanced their oval shape. My lips looked fuller. Definitely kissable.
The thought made me grow warm, and I watched as a blush crept over my chin and rose into my cheeks. It probably started at my stomach, but since I was wearing a heavy cowl-necked sweater that draped off one shoulder, it was difficult to tell. The sweater was a deep purple that made my hair appear blonder, my eyes a richer hue.
“It doesn’t look like me,” I said in awe.
“Of course it does,” she said, brushing off my concerns. “And wait until Daniel gets a good look at you. He’s going to be stunned speechless.”
Lisa called that right.
In spite of the frigid winter air we had the front door and the French doors that led to the deck propped open so people could wander in and out. The lights were dimmed low and pine-scented candles flickered around the rooms. Music was playing. We’d moved all the furniture from the center of the living room so there was plenty of space to dance. Some people lounged on the sofa, love seats, or chairs lined along the walls. Some used floor pillows. We had snacks, sodas, and beers. No one was around to card anyone, so I grabbed a bottle and gulped some of the bitter brew. I was nervous, waiting for Daniel to show up.
Wiping my hands on my jeans, I regretted that I’d run into a store on my afternoon break and bought a pair of spike-heeled boots. They were impractical, and I didn’t know when I’d ever have a chance to wear them again. But they made me feel elegant, even if my feet were killing me. I thought they made my legs look long and slender. Especially by the time I’d finished my first beer and gone for a second.
I was in the bathroom, where we’d poured tons of ice into the tub to use as our cooler. I’d just pulled out the bottle when one of the guys I’d worked with during the past month, Mark, came up to me, snaked his hand around my waist, snuggled me against his side, and cupped my bottom. “Don’t you look great?”
I could tell by the slight slurring of his words and the way he swayed that he’d already had too much to drink. I also knew he was harmless. Before I could extricate myself from his hold and get his hand off my butt, a low, warning growl echoed off the walls.
Mark released me and spun around so fast that he almost toppled over. Regaining his balance, he asked, “Dude, was that you?”
I wasn’t surprised to see Daniel standing in the doorway. What did surprise me was how glad I was to see him. He appeared menacing, and at that precise moment he left no doubt that he was defending his territory—which was me.
I was torn between being offended at the old-fashioned gesture and flattered by his determination. He looked great. He’d obviously shaved. He was wearing a black cashmere pullover, and the emerald in his eyes glowed.
Into the silence permeating the bathroom Mark said, “You want a beer?”
Only then did Daniel shift his gaze to me. His eyes widened slightly as though he was surprised by my appearance, and I realized he’d probably tracked me through the condo by scent alone. Only now was he getting a good look at me. His nostrils flared; his eyes heated. I couldn’t prevent the little thrill of pleasure that shot through me.
Mark held up his hands, like someone warding off an angry mob. “I didn’t realize she was taken.”
“I wasn’t,” I felt compelled to tell him. “I’m not,” I added for Daniel’s benefit.
“Yeah, well. I’m not here for trouble, just a good time.” Mark grabbed a beer and edged his way past Daniel in order to get out of the room.
“That was kinda rude,” I said testily.
“What’d you do to yourself?”
“You don’t like it?”
He angled his head to study me better. “I like it. But I liked you the other way, too.”
“So tomorrow I’ll go back to the other way.” I flicked my fingers through my bangs. “Well, except for the hair. Beer?”
He wandered into the small room and snatched a beer from the tub. He jerked his head toward the door. “You like that guy?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. He’s nice.”
Daniel scowled fiercely, and I realized there was nothing he did that wasn’t predatory. “I mean, more than like,” he said.
“You said like.”
He sighed with impatience, and I found myself enjoying the moment, realizing in spite of all his insistence that he would be my mate, he wasn’t quite comfortable with the emotions that came along with the declaration. I thought it was cute.
“That other L-word,” he muttered.
“Lycanthropy?” I whispered.
“Funny.”
I relented. “I don’t love him, if that’s what you’re asking. I barely know him.”
His gaze dropped to my hip. “Sure looked like he thought he knew you.”
“He was just being friendly. He’s really harmless.” Unlike you, I almost added.
He narrowed his eyes, looked as though he was going to argue. Instead he twisted the top of his beer, took a swig, then studied me. “You shouldn’t flirt with other guys.”
“Why? Because I belong to you?”
“Because you need someone who can protect you and that guy can’t. But I will.”
Two other people
edged their way into the bathroom, grabbed some bottles, and went out.
“Come on,” I said. “I don’t intend to spend my party in the bathroom.”
I walked into the hallway with Daniel right on my heels. Music was blasting in the dimly lit living room. People were gyrating on the floor.
“Do you dance?” Daniel asked beside my ear, his breath skimming over my neck and sending a warm tingle of pleasure down my spine.
How could he make me feel things with so little effort? I shook my head.
He took my bottle and set it on a small nearby table along with his. Then he grabbed my hand and began tugging me toward the makeshift dance floor. I dug in the heels of my expensive boots.
“No!” I shook my head, laughing. “I’ll just make a fool of myself.”
He leaned in. “You won’t see these people after tonight. What does it matter? Besides, I thought you wanted to party. What better way than with a little wildness?”
What he said was true, but I’d never danced before. Had never been to a dance. While I’d watched people at Out of Bounds, I’d never joined them.
“You just move your body around. No big deal. This isn’t Dancing with the Stars,” he said.
“Promise not to laugh?” I asked.
He made a cross over his heart and dragged me onto the dance floor. The beer I’d had earlier definitely released some of my inhibitions, but still I glanced around.
“Don’t look at them,” Daniel said. “Just look at me.”
Gracefully, smoothly, he was moving in rhythm with the music. I found myself following his lead. It was so easy. And so much fun. I smiled. I laughed. I’d missed out on this. Our biggest celebrations at Wolford occurred during the summer and winter solstices, when as many families as possible came to celebrate the existence of our kind. There were games, music, dancing. I’d tried to mingle, but mostly I’d just watched. My kind didn’t mean to be cruel, but they all knew of my abilities and weren’t comfortable around me. Not that I blamed them. When the emotions bombarding me got to be too much, I’d go into the basement and read a book in a little nook I’d created for myself. I wasn’t completely protected there, but only the most intense emotions would reach me.
The worst emotions of all had been my own when I was there. The loneliness. The isolation. I always preferred being at school, being around Statics. But there were things I couldn’t share with them, which also created a sense of not truly belonging.
But tonight I was happy. I was dancing. I was with people. So many people. There had to be at least a hundred people here. The winter workers, the college students who would head back to their universities tomorrow so they could start class Monday. I wanted to go with them, wherever they’d be traveling. Instead I’d be heading back to Wolford with Daniel.
He grabbed my hand, pulled me toward him. “Don’t think about it!” he yelled in my ear above the music. After spinning me around, he set me back away from him so we could resume our dancing.
“How did you know?” I yelled. How did he know what I was thinking?
I was pretty sure he heard me, but he ignored me, moving with the music—which suddenly stopped. People yelled, moaned, groaned. A couple of guys yelled obscenities. A slow song started up. Joyous shouts and clapping echoed through the room.
Before I could make a hasty exit from the dance area, Daniel had pulled me into his arms.
“I’ve never—” I began.
“Just relax into it, Hayden.”
He put my arms around his neck and wound his around my waist. We weren’t really dancing. Just moving our feet. But it was nice. So nice. To be this close to another Shifter, to not feel his emotions, to only be distracted by mine. And they were darting all over the place. Contentment, quickly followed by that sense of fright again because what I felt I felt so strongly. I was loving this moment with Daniel. I didn’t even have to pretend I was normal. For these few moments I truly was.
I nestled my face in the nook of his shoulder, grateful I’d spent so much of my hard-earned money on these boots that made me tall enough to fit so perfectly against him. “How did you know I was thinking about going back to Wolford?” I asked quietly. “Are you a mind reader?”
“You stopped smiling.”
“I never smile there. Please don’t take me back, Daniel.”
“I have to, Hayden.” He lowered his head, his breath skimming along the sensitive skin just below my ear. “I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you. I truly believe that it’s the only place where you’ll be safe.”
Until that moment it hadn’t occurred to me that maybe taking me back to Wolford wasn’t any easier for him than going was for me. I could continue to be difficult, to search for ways to escape. Or I could accept the inevitable as I’d told him I would last night.
I felt the lingering remnants of a fight seep out of me as I truly accepted my decision to return to our secret sanctuary. My body relaxed against Daniel’s. His arms closed more tightly around me, drawing me nearer.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
I wondered if he knew what I did—that everything would change once we returned to Wolford. That I would change. That the emotions of others constantly slamming into me would wear me down. That I would know no peace. Then my full moon would arrive….
He wanted me to have faith that everything would be all right. But all I was sure of was that I had tonight. So I held on tightly. I didn’t flinch when people bumped into me. I let the music flow through me. I listened to the din of conversation. A cacophony of sounds surrounded me but they were all outside of me. Inside of me I knew only my thoughts, experienced only my emotions. While they were a little scary—because I was enjoying so much being within the circle of Daniel’s arms—they were also so totally amazing. Because they were mine and mine alone.
The slow music had barely drifted away before a louder, faster beat was thumping through the room. People separated and returned to more enthusiastic dancing.
Daniel took my hand and we threaded our way through the crowd to the French doors. We didn’t stop on the deck, but he led me down the stairs, our feet crunching on the snow. The heeled boots were really difficult to maneuver in as we crossed the drifts. The moonlight cast a blue haze over everything. For just a moment I wondered if it was possible to defeat the harvester, but then all thoughts—except for those centered around Daniel—left my mind as he brought me around to face him.
“All the insanity and craziness in there, all the noise, is that what it’s like for you when the Shifters’ emotions are hitting you?” he asked, his gaze latched on to mine.
“Not exactly but it’s probably the closest way to describe it. It’s not noise, but it’s overwhelming and chaotic. It’s mostly mental but physical, too, because I can’t help but respond to what I’m feeling.” I shook my head. “It’s impossible to describe.”
While the music drifted out from the condo, it was too far away to be bothersome. The snap of a twig or branch—probably weighted down by snow—broke through the stillness. An owl hooted.
I hadn’t grabbed my jacket before coming out here. I should have been shivering with the cold. But I wasn’t. All I seemed able to manage was to stare into Daniel’s eyes and to welcome the warmth emanating from his body.
He cupped my face with both his hands. The pads of his palms were heated, rough, and callused. Where once I had been suspicious of him because I couldn’t feel his emotions, now I relished the fact that when he touched me like this, the emotions that stirred within me were mine and mine alone.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said quietly, fiercely.
His lips touched the corner of my mouth, and desire spiked through me. I turned my head into the kiss, to meet his lips as they skimmed over mine, before returning to settle firmly into place. Winter faded away, and it was as if I’d stepped into the middle of summer. Heat consumed me as passion rose up and swirled through me.
This kiss was different fr
om the one he’d given me on the ski lift. That one had been tentative, a testing, a need for closeness to celebrate what we’d accomplished. This one was more, so much more. I’d never dared hope that I could experience something so intimate with a Shifter without being destroyed by it. But even as inexperienced as I was, I knew no other kiss would have been as thrilling, as satisfying, as marvelous.
When Daniel drew back, I looked deep into his eyes, became as lost in them as I had in the kiss. For the first time since I’d initially spotted him, I truly wanted to leave with him.
He stroked his thumb over my lips. They were sensitive, damp, and swollen.
“Say your good-byes. We leave just before sunrise.”
With that he released his hold on me and disappeared between the trees, into the forest. He wasn’t sleeping on the couch tonight, and I wondered if it was because he feared the temptation to ascend the stairs would be too great. I didn’t want to feel this closeness to him, and yet I couldn’t deny the wonder of it. I didn’t want to contemplate that perhaps he could be my mate. I’d never before felt this deep yearning. I’d never before welcomed the nearness of a Shifter more than the nearness of a Static.
The warmth I’d felt with his nearness dissipated, and the cold swept in. I released a hard shiver, wrapped my arms around myself, and scurried back to the condo.
To enjoy my last hours of peace before beginning the journey that would see me either victorious standing beneath a full moon—or dead.
EIGHT
I didn’t sleep. Instead I just lay in my bed and watched the shadows dancing over my ceiling as the moonlight played around the room. When I was with Daniel, returning to Wolford seemed like the right decision. When I wasn’t with him, it seemed foolhardy. Just as he’d promised that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me, I was just as determined to ensure that nothing would happen to him. No matter what it required. I didn’t want him or any other Shifter to perish on my behalf.
I welcomed the first hint of an approaching dawn with a sense of anticipation…and dread.
Dark Guardian #4: Shadow of the Moon Page 8