A piercing cry echoed around us.
Suddenly I was swamped with emotions dancing around me, through me, quickly darting in and leaving as though I provided a passage. Love, gratitude, relief. And I realized I was feeling what remained of all the souls the beast had harvested. With its death they were released from bondage.
A thousand souls, trapped in oblivion, providing energy to a creature that didn’t deserve to exist.
I felt love so strong, so purposeful—and for the first time in my life I knew who the emotions were directed to. Daniel. These were the souls of his family, reaching out one last time. I absorbed the feeling, hoping he sensed it. If not, I’d share it with him later.
And then there was Justin. Not blaming me for realizing too late the trouble he was in. He was free now. His soul was at peace. At last.
Abruptly…nothingness. The souls were all gone. The emotions with them.
The harvester shrieked again, then dissolved into ash. The ash was captured on the wind and blown into oblivion. With his destruction the hounds disappeared.
Utterly exhausted, I collapsed and crawled to Daniel, tenderly touching his wounds, which were beginning to heal. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Even though I can’t feel your emotions, I know you. I knew you’d shift. Then it would have you, too. I couldn’t bear the thought—”
Purring low in his throat, he licked my cheek.
I was aware of a shimmering in the air and glanced back to see that Seth had shifted. His wounds would heal, and whoever it was he loved—he’d return to her.
Maybe it was because Connor loved a half human/ half Shifter, loved someone who didn’t shift into wolf form, that he knew what to do. He brought the quilt over and draped it over Daniel.
In the blink of an eye I was staring at Daniel’s beloved face. I touched his cheek. “You should have waited to shift until you’d completely healed.”
“I’ll shift back soon.”
“Daniel.” My throat clogged; tears welled in my eyes. “How did you escape?”
“Did you think a locked door was going to hold me? I shifted and used the strength I have in panther form to beat down the door.”
“You risked death by shifting.” I couldn’t prevent harsh scolding from creeping into my voice.
“I figured the harvester was occupied with you.”
“But what if there had been more than one? What if—”
He touched my lips. “It’s over, Hayden.”
But I couldn’t let go of what he’d risked. “I love you.”
He grinned, the smile that had first made my knees grow weak. “I know. Good thing, too.” He nuzzled my neck. “Because I can find you anywhere.”
I was vaguely aware that we were now alone. The Dark Guardians had left, quietly retreated. And I realized that my feelings for Daniel were so strong that there had been no room for their emotions to slip inside me. Or maybe I was becoming better at blocking what I didn’t want to experience.
Then pain rippled through me. My limbs, my entire body, went numb before the nerves burst with sharp tingles. I gasped.
Daniel cradled my face between his large hands. “Hayden, do you accept me as your mate?”
“With all my heart.”
He drew me close. “Concentrate on me.”
His lips touched mine, hungrily, as if for the first time. Then they settled into the familiar. My body began to feel strange; I felt little undulations, as though it were preparing.
I focused on Daniel, on the feel of his arms around me, the taste of his kiss, the heat of his skin.
His emotions didn’t slip inside me, but I still knew what he was feeling. He loved me. He didn’t want me to suffer. He would do anything—and everything—to protect me.
I heard his purr of satisfaction, low in his throat. In animal form we’d make different sounds; we’d look different. But deep down we’d be the same.
The pain escalated, then receded as he glided his hands over me and deepened the kiss. Passion ignited within me, drowning out everything else. Between one heartbeat and the next a thousand stars erupted within me, moonlight flowed over and through me.
When I opened my eyes, I was staring at a panther, knowing that he was staring at a wolf.
Hayden?
I’d been so afraid that, because I couldn’t feel his emotions, I wouldn’t be able to hear his thoughts. But they were there, whispering to me.
You’re beautiful in wolf form.
I nuzzled his snout.
Are you disappointed I’m not a wolf? he asked.
Silly. Do you wish I was a panther?
I love you just the way you are.
The warmth swirled through me with his words, my heart beat harder. Even though I knew how he felt, there was satisfaction and joy in hearing the words.
I could see what remained of the wounds in his side, the long scrapes, healing quickly. The wolf in me scented them, then licked gingerly. Blood scent.
Now I’ll find you anywhere, too, I thought.
The wounds healed, leaving no scars, no evidence that they’d ever been. It was our gift, our ability to heal.
What now? he asked.
I glanced at the vast white landscape spread out before us. I don’t think I can run as fast as you, I confessed.
I can adjust my stride.
I raced off, my paws kicking up snow. Daniel loped easily alongside me. No, I’d never outrun him, never escape him.
But the truth was I no longer wanted to.
TWENTY
We raced through the forest until we reached the cavern where he’d brought me the night before. As I stepped inside, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I could see with the vision of a wolf, could see through the darkness.
What I saw surprised me.
My backpack. I wondered when he’d brought it. Sometime in the afternoon, when I was with Kayla, Lindsey, and Brittany, maybe.
I glanced back at him.
You guessed right.
You can read my thoughts even when they’re not directed at you? Why can’t I read yours?
Because I’ve learned how to hold them back. I’ll teach you. So I’ll know only what you want me to know.
Maybe that skill will help me hold the emotions back, too.
I could hope.
I prowled through the cavern to the area in the back where the pool was. My clothes were set on a boulder, waiting for me in human form.
You can shift in here, Daniel thought. I’ll shift in there.
Okay. To shift, do I just think human?
Just think human.
When he was no longer visible, I closed my eyes, concentrated, felt a ripple pass through me. I opened my eyes. I was back in human form. Quickly I slipped on my jeans, my sweater, and my boots. When I walked into the front of the cavern, Daniel was standing at the entrance to the cave, staring out. Large battery-operated flashlights lit the darkness.
I took my time to study him leisurely: the broad slope of his shoulders, the length of his back. His hands were shoved into the back pockets of his jeans.
I’d almost lost this, lost him because of my fears. But it was also my fear of losing him that had given me strength to fight off my own transformation and reach down to destroy the harvester. Before Daniel I might not have fought so hard. I wouldn’t have given up quietly, but neither did I have as much to lose.
I crossed over to him, slid beneath his arm. There was comfort here, familiarity.
“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I brought the harvester here.”
“No, you didn’t.”
He looked down at me, his eyes questioning, wanting to believe my words.
“You’ve been here since the summer. If it had followed you, it would have shown up sooner,” I said.
“I want to believe that.”
“I do believe it. We don’t know everything about the harvester. It’s not as if it’s been on Oprah. We don’t know why it was dormant for centuries. We don’t know why it made
its appearance now. I do know it was the one that killed your parents. I felt their souls. They love you so much.”
Tears welled in his eyes and he blinked them back. “Are they at peace?”
“They are now, yes.”
“I don’t know how it found my family. I don’t know how many more of my kind it might have killed. Like I told you, we’re not like the wolves. We don’t stay in packs.” He looked down at me. “I’d like to go in search of the others. Let them know about this place. We’re loners, you and I, but we belong together.” He touched my cheek. “But I won’t go if you want to stay here. And if the elders will let me stay. You mean more to me than anything.”
Before I could respond or give him an answer, he took me in his arms and kissed me. I thought I’d never have this again. Now here it was.
He was willing to give up what he wanted to do because he wanted me more. But I cared enough about him to be willing not to let him give up what he wanted to do.
I’d often felt love—coming from others, directed toward others. The love of a parent for a child, a friend for a friend, and with Connor, the love of a lover for a lover. In all cases love was a strong emotion, not easily contained once it was unleashed. I realized now that love was like a blossoming flower that continually added more and more petals. But there was no end point. There was no full bloom. It went on forever. Growing, strengthening.
I hadn’t known Daniel long, but I knew in my heart that he was my true mate.
When he drew back, he touched my cheek, just as he had that afternoon behind the chocolate shop. His touch was warm, his eyes sincere. I didn’t have to feel his emotions to know their depth.
“I love you, Hayden,” he said.
I went back into his arms, pressed my face to his chest, heard the thundering of his heart. “I love you, too.”
He took my hand and led me outside. We sat on a snow-covered boulder and watched as the moon began its descent. I thought I should have felt cold, but with Daniel’s arm around me, I was warm. Happy. Madly in love.
TWENTY-ONE
Returning to Wolford the next morning was not the joyous occasion that I’d expected. The elders and the Dark Guardians weren’t exactly happy with Daniel.
Yes, he’d quite possibly saved all of our butts with his attack on the harvester. But there was the little matter of his not being completely honest about himself.
So two minutes after we walked through the front door, he was standing in front of them in the council room. The elders were sitting at a table studying him as though he was an exotic creature—which I guessed he was.
On either end of their table was another table at an angle, and the Dark Guardians filled each one. I sat at the end of one of the tables. Now that I’d experienced my shift, I was a member of this elite group.
While there was a chance that Daniel was about to be kicked out of it.
He stood tall, straight, and proud, his shoulders back, his head high. I felt so much pride. That magnificent guy was mine.
Finally Elder Wilde cleared his throat and said, “You came here under false pretenses, Mr. Foster.”
I saw Daniel flinch, and I understood why. Before last night they would have called him Guardian Foster. They’d essentially stripped him of his place, were announcing that he wasn’t one of them. I knew there was a time when he wouldn’t have been bothered by the change. When he was a complete loner, when he didn’t know what it was to truly belong.
“I told you I came here to serve as a Dark Guardian,” he stated flatly.
“You neglected to tell us that you shifted into panther rather than wolf form,” Elder Wilde reminded him.
“I didn’t see that what I shifted into affected my ability to do my job.” He glanced down, then lifted his glittering green gaze to them. “And okay, yes, I didn’t think you’d accept me if you knew I was of the panther clan.”
“How many panthers are there?” Lucas asked. He ignored his grandfather’s stern look.
“I don’t know,” Daniel said. “We don’t keep track of our members the way you do. It’s one of our weaknesses.”
“And you didn’t think we needed to know that the harvester murdered your parents?” Elder Thomas asked, putting the inquisition back on course.
“I didn’t know what killed them until the night Justin died. And then all I could think about was protecting Hayden.”
My heart went out to him. He looked over at me, and I did everything in my power to convey that, no matter what happened, I stood behind him. Then finally he continued, “I thought if I told you everything you’d be hesitant to accept me. I needed to learn what you know so I can save my clan from extinction. Maybe part of the lesson for me was that I needed to learn to trust those who aren’t like me. What I did I did out of concern for my own species. I was putting what I thought were their needs first. I know now that I have to put all Shifters first, not just my species. What we shift into doesn’t define us. I can’t undo what I’ve done in the past, but I can swear to you that you will never find a more dedicated Dark Guardian for your kind.”
“Perhaps,” Elder Wilde said thoughtfully, “the first step is not to view us as a kind separate from yours. As you said, we are all Shifters. That is our common bond. Just as there are some Shifters with empathic abilities and some without. We don’t separate them out; we don’t see them as not belonging with us.” He glanced over at me. “Would you agree, Hayden?”
I nodded. “I do.”
Elder Wilde gazed around the table, then he looked at Daniel. “You are welcome to stay among us, Guardian Foster.”
Relief swamped me, and I couldn’t prevent a small smile from forming on my lips.
“Thank you, elders, Dark Guardians. Because you have offered to let me stay, I can now leave with a light heart.”
“You intend to leave?” Elder Wilde asked.
“Yes, sir. There are many like me who are lost, who don’t know what we as Shifters can be. Who hide what they are and have no place to celebrate it. I want them to know that they’re not alone.”
“Then you do so with our blessing, and we look forward to welcoming them here as well.”
“Thank you.”
I shoved my chair back, stood, walked over to Daniel, and slipped my hand into his. “He’s my mate. I’m going with him. I’d like your blessing, too. But I’ll leave without it if I have to.”
“You have our blessing,” Elder Wilde said. “And if your parents were here with us now, I think you would have theirs as well. They wanted nothing more than for you to be happy.”
“I can promise you that she will be,” Daniel said. He squeezed my hand, then put his arm around me, drawing me in close to his side, right where I belonged. Next to his heart.
At the top of Daniel’s tattoo where the knots had once ended, he had another tattoo embedded beneath his skin: a Celtic symbol representing my name. He said the tattoo that began on his bicep and went up over his back represented his journey from being separate to being included. It was the story of my journey as well.
With Daniel at my side, often distracting me, I was able to be out among the other Shifters. Only the most intense of emotions ever invaded me now. I was learning to use them to signal when someone needed help. I still didn’t consider this ability a gift. But I was accepting that maybe it wasn’t exactly a curse.
“You’ll be back in time for the summer solstice, right?” Kayla asked as she wrapped her arms around me.
Daniel and I were heading out to search for other Shifters like him. I wasn’t certain how much help I’d be since I couldn’t sense their emotions, but for me there would be peace in that.
“We’ll try,” I said. We were standing in the front yard at Wolford saying good-bye to everyone.
We were going to travel on the snowmobile, a gift from the elders. I didn’t know if it would be as exciting to ride on it now that it was sanctioned. We were still a month or so away from the spring thaws, but Daniel was anxious to get started.
I hugged everyone, saving Elder Wilde for last. I was surprised when tears stung my eyes as his arms came around me. He’d always seemed so strong, but suddenly he felt so frail.
“Travel safely, Hayden,” he said. “And remember, this is your home.”
“It is,” I acknowledged to him, and probably for the first time in my life to myself.
I climbed on the snowmobile behind Daniel.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
He took off, and excitement spurred through me. I didn’t know what we’d find out there.
At the top of a rise Daniel brought the snowmobile to a halt, and we glanced back at Wolford.
“We don’t have to go,” he said.
I shook my head. “No, I think we do. We have other enemies. If the harvester found us, maybe they will, too. We should tell other Shifters about Wolford, those from your clan and anyone else, so they’ll have a safe haven.”
“We’ll come back,” he promised.
I tightened my hold on him. “I know.”
He revved the engine and we glided over the snow, the wind rushing by us. I was lost in a world where I felt only my own emotions.
Happiness. Joy. Anticipation. Love.
Daniel.
About the Author
RACHEL HAWTHORNE is the author of many books for teens, including CARIBBEAN CRUISING, ISLAND GIRLS (AND BOYS), LOVE ON THE LIFTS, THE BOYFRIEND LEAGUE, SNOWED IN, and the Dark Guardian series. She lives in Plano, Texas, with her husband and two dogs. You can visit her online at www.rachelhawthorne.net.
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OTHER BOOKS BY RACHEL HAWTHORNE
Dark Guardian #4: Shadow of the Moon Page 16