Landon didn’t say anything, but Shar could tell that he was still fuming. He stalked around the room several times and then turned back to her.
“I thought you came here to talk to me about the choir because you had changed your mind. But if you’re not ready to come back to the choir yet, if you still need a little more time to pray and seek the Lord, then you take all the time you need.”
“But I have to do this for my parents.”
“No, you don’t,” Lance said authoritatively. “I have a little money saved. I’ll pay your parents’ rent.”
Shar loved how protective Landon was of her at times. She wanted to put her hand on his cheek and reassure him that she would be okay. But things were different between her and Landon these days, and she was confused about what she should and shouldn’t be feeling, or what she could or couldn’t do around him. He was an anointed man of God, and she had lost her anointing. She didn’t deserve to be in the same room with this man, let alone presume to think of his offer of help as more than what it was. A pastor trying to lend a helping hand to one of his members.
She had no right to ask him for anything, but Landon loved helping others regain their dignity. Her mother and father deserved some dignity out of life. And if her singing could get them some of that, then she had finally found a reason for the voice God gave her.
“I truly want to sing, Landon. I’m just not so sure I’ll be able to pull it off, but if I do I want you to promise me something.”
“I’d do anything for you, Shar. Just tell me what you need.”
Landon was already upset over Mr. Johnson taking liberties. So, she didn’t want him to think poorly of her, but she had to speak up because if she didn’t, her parents might never get out of the God-forsaken neighborhood they lived in. “You told me that you had ten families that were eligible for homeownership. I’m wondering and I’m hoping . . . that you wouldn’t mind adding one more family to that list.”
“You know of another family that qualifies?” Landon asked.
Nodding, Shar said, “I sure do. My parents don’t have the money, but ain’t nobody more in need than them.” She lifted a hand. “Now, I’m not asking for them to take money that the other families need. But if there is enough left over after the fund-raiser, do you think it would be much trouble to add them to the list?”
She was holding her breath again. Hoping and praying that her parents would finally get the break, they need.
Landon pulled Shar into his arms and hugged her. “You don’t have to carry this burden alone, Shar. I promise you that I won’t forget about your parents. And if we earn enough money, we will be looking for a new house for Johnny and Marlene Gracey along with the rest of them.”
29
Shar now had two things to look forward to: her father coming to church and her parent’s getting blessed with a new house. They would still have to pay the mortgage on the house, so Shar kept praying that her parents would get better soon enough to get back to work. Landon was planning a week-long concert. Tickets were being sold for a dollar each for each night of the concert. Flyers were being passed around the city of Chicago announcing, “Shar Gracey is back! Come hear her anointed voice as she sings praises to the Lord.”
Shar almost laughed out loud as she read that line on one of the flyers. It took months for her to be allowed to sing a solo in Thomas Dorsey’s choir. And when the big named singers were on the tour, Shar had barely been needed, except to sell the sheet music. But her church was now billing her as some gospel-singing star.
The line right below the information about Shar read: “Lend a helping hand to break the Restrictive Covenants designed to keep colored folks in the Black Belt.” So, even though Shar doubted that anyone seeing that flyer would willingly part with one of their hard-earned dollars just to hear her sing, she prayed that they would come to lend a helping hand to the people in this community.
So it was with that frame of mind that Shar showed up for her first rehearsal. Calvin, the choir director, was behind the piano, tuning it, while the guitar player fiddled with the strings on his guitar. It was all so familiar to Shar as she walked into the choir stand. She passed the chair that Mother Barnett normally sat in, and Shar had to control the emotions that threatened to explode right out of her body. Shar didn’t know if her voice would have the same anointing that it once had when she sang in this church, but she would be dedicating her voice to Mother Barnett that week. Maybe the Good Lord would show her some grace for one of His saints that done gone on to glory.
The Mothers’ Board had gotten in on the event too. They were dedicating their services to Mother Barnett. So while the choir practiced, the Mothers’ Board made preparations to sell dinners after the concert.
“Okay, everyone, stand up so we can warm up those vocals,” Calvin instructed.
As she stood up, Shar realized that she was glad to be home. Glad to be back where things were normal and predictable.
“Place your hand on either side of your mouth and use the tips of your fingers to hold up the weight of your cheeks,” Calvin said as he looked around to ensure that everyone was following his instructions, then he continued, “Now keep your lips very loose and floppy and blow.”
The members of the choir did as instructed.
“Now, hold that pose and make a dopey MMMMMM sound.”
When they finished warming up, Calvin was ready to begin the worship. “Shar, come over here so I can work with you on this song.”
Shar had hoped that she wouldn’t be singled out so soon. She was still praying and seeking the Lord, trying to get her anointing back. Would Calvin recognize the difference in her voice? Would he call her out in front of the whole choir?
When she stood before him, trying not to show her nervousness, Calvin said, “I know that ‘Amazing Grace’ is a favorite around here. But since you’ve been touring with Mr. Dorsey, I want you to sing a few of his songs. Are there any of those songs that are special to you?”
Shar immediately thought of one that she would love to sing, but she wasn’t sure if her voice was strong enough, so she struck it from her thoughts. “I’ve sung ‘Old Ship of Zion’ and ‘Precious Lord.’ ”
“Okay, well then, let’s start off practicing those.” Calvin put his hands on the piano keys and was just about to signal Shar to sing, when Landon appeared in the back of the sanctuary.
“Calvin, can I speak with you,” Landon called out so loud that everyone in the room turned in his direction.
Calvin popped up and jogged to the back of the sanctuary. “What’s up, boss?”
Landon leaned closer to Calvin and whispered, “Shar has been under a lot of stress lately, with all that’s been going on with her family.”
“You want me to go easy, for the day?”
Landon shook his head. “I want you to let her sit out for a while. Let her listen and join in with the choir, but don’t have her sing any solos right now. She needs to rest her vocals.”
Calvin turned and glanced at Shar as she stood by his piano. Then he turned back to Landon with a quizzical expression on his long narrow face. “Are you sure? She didn’t say anything to me.”
“I don’t think she wants anyone to know what kind of stress she’s under. So, I don’t want you repeating this conversation to anyone else.”
Calvin nodded and then headed back down to rejoin his choir. “Change of plans,” he told Shar. “Have a seat in the sanctuary and just listen to the songs that we’ll be singing.”
“But I thought you wanted me to practice those Thomas Dorsey songs?”
“I do, and we will practice them. We have one week before the concert. So, don’t worry. We’ll get to them.” Calvin turned away from Shar and pointed into the choir stand. “Nettie, come here. I want to practice this Mahalia Jackson song with you.”
As Nettie sprang to her feet, Shar headed to the back of the sanctuary where Landon was now sitting. She sat down on the bench in front of him. She put her hands on
the top of the bench, turned to Landon and asked, “Did you say something to Calvin?”
“I only told him about the stress you’ve been under with your parents and asked that he allow you to rest your voice a few more days.”
Landon was always thinking about her . . . always being kind to her and trying to make things better for her. He was nothing like Nicoli. That scoundrel would have made her sing until her voice dried all the way up if he could have gotten an extra nickel to gamble away. Her eyes were beaming at him as she said, “Thank you. I have to admit that I was a bit nervous when Calvin asked me to sing.”
He put his hand over Shar’s. “I just think you need your confidence back. Being home and around your original choir just might be the thing you need.”
“I hope you’re right. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
Landon shook his head. “Nothing you do could ever disappoint me. Not as long as the doing of it made you happy.”
Shar felt heat on the back of her neck as Landon patted her hand. She turned around in her seat as Landon let her hand go. Nettie was shooting daggers of fire at Shar even as she finished up singing one of Mahalia’s most beautiful songs. Shar got the message. She needed to stay away from Landon. She didn’t want to ruin whatever he had going on with Nettie, even if she thought Landon was making just as big a mistake as she had made with Nicoli.
Four days into rehearsal, and Nettie’s daddy came storming into the church, looking like he’d caught a bull by the horns and was just about to go in for the kill. He marched over to Landon, who had been conferring with Calvin over by the piano. “Can I have a word with you, Preacher?”
Landon turned around, greeted Mr. Johnson, and then asked, “What can I do for you?”
“Can we go to your office and speak in private,” Mr. Johnson asked, barely able to contain himself as his nostrils flared.
“Follow me.” Landon walked out of the sanctuary without looking at any of the people standing around watching what was sure to be exploding fireworks. He closed his office door after Raymond Johnson set in, but his office was right outside of the sanctuary, and the door was so paper thin that the choir could hear everything being said because the two men wouldn’t lower their voices once the argument got going.
“I thought you told me that you actually wanted to make money with this fund-raiser,” Raymond demanded.
“It is not I who wants the money, Mr. Johnson. This community needs that money so that we can finally do away with these Restrictive Covenants that bar our people from acquiring decent affordable housing.”
“Then whose cockamamy idea was it to let Shar Gracey sit out there all week and not open her mouth once to practice?”
“Why does what we are doing in choir practice concern you?” Landon demanded just as forcefully.
“I’m the one who put those flyers together for you, I’m the one out there trying to get those tickets sold. And all I keep hearing is skepticism from everybody about giving up their hard-earned dollar when Shar Gracey might not be singing anyway.” Raymond’s voice was booming with anger.
“You just go back and tell all of your skeptics that Shar Gracey will be giving the performance of a lifetime when this concert begins next week. And if they don’t want to miss it, then they need to get their tickets now.” Landon’s words were filled with hope, faith, and a belief that passes human understanding . . . like he’d come by his knowledge firsthand as he sat down in the throne room of heaven.
“Your word isn’t enough for me. Not when it’s my reputation on the line.”
“What does your reputation have to do with anything? You’re worried about that State Representative seat. That’s it and that’s all.”
“I’m going to find out for myself,” Raymond said as the door to Landon’s office swung open. He marched over to where Shar sat, grabbed her arm, stood her up, and then demanded, “Sing.”
“Get your hands off of her,” Landon said as he rushed to Shar’s aid.
Here she was again. Shar thought back to the night that the salon owner who Nicoli owned money to demanded that she get back on stage and sing. She had looked to Nicoli for help. As usual, he’d done nothing for her. But her knight in shining armor was always there for her. He would never let anything happen to her. She wanted to fall in Landon’s arms and beg him to love her again. Because she now understood why her mama had been so concerned that she might miss out on the love of this good man.
Landon stepped in front of Shar and faced Raymond Johnson down. He pointed toward the front door of the church and said, “I have never thrown anyone out of this church. But I am two seconds away from making you the first.”
The look on Nettie’s face was horror-stricken. She’d never seen her father act in such a manner, but it was only going to get worse.
“After all the work I’ve done to help you and the people of the church, you dare to talk to me in such a manner.” Raymond pointed to Shar. “I paid her daddy’s rent so that she would come and sing with this choir.”
“I never asked you to do that,” Landon said.
“Yeah, but you were mighty grateful to have her back in such close proximity to you, huh?” Disappointment shone through as Raymond added, “And to think I let you keep company with my precious daughter, when all the while you were just biding your time until Shar Gracey came back to town.”
There were collective gasps throughout the choir stand at Raymond’s words. Nettie burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Landon watched her go and then turned back to Raymond Johnson. “Nettie and I are friends . . . good friends at that. But you had no reason or need to besmirch the good name of Sister Gracey. I have done nothing unseemly. It is just your dirty mind working on overtime.”
Landon continued, “Now I’m getting ready to go find Nettie to make sure that she is all right. I suggest you come with me, and then I want you to leave us all alone until the event next week.” Landon didn’t wait for a response. He walked out of the sanctuary in search of Nettie.
Raymond eyed Shar but then looked as if he thought better of what he was about to say. He then turned and followed Landon out of the sanctuary.
All eyes were on Shar, and she felt as if she owed everyone an explanation. She walked over to the choir stand, gave a small weak smile, and then said, “I know that you all have been wondering why I haven’t been singing with the choir while we practiced this week.” She turned to Calvin and added, “And I know that Landon told you about the stress I’ve been under with my parents, but I want to tell you all what really happened.”
“Speak the truth, and shame the devil,” one of the choir members hollered from the second row.
“That’s what I aim to do,” Shar said as she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. She really needed unconditional love right now. If the choir turned on her and began judging her, she didn’t know what she would do. She took a deep breath and said, “My voice has been cracking.”
“Oh my Lord, no,” one of the women said. “A voice as beautiful as yours don’t have no business cracking.”
Shar couldn’t bring herself to tell every detail, so she simply said, “I was out later than I should have been one night. I was by myself, it was raining, and someone hit me over the head in order to steal my purse, which had less than ten dollars in it.”
They were all quiet, listening, waiting for the rest of the story.
“I was knocked out and laying in a pool of rainwater. When I woke up, I couldn’t barely speak. Once my voice came back, I was able to sing once again, but it just doesn’t have the same anointing as my voice once held. Now, I’m not saying that to be vain. But I do believe that God had anointed my voice,” she shrugged, “once upon a time.
“Pastor Landon has done nothing more than encourage me to believe that the problems with my voice are only temporary.” She looked at each member of the choir, imploring them to understand her plight. “I go home each night and practice the songs, and I’ve been o
n my knees praying to the good Lord that I’ll be able to live up to the faith that Pastor Landon has in my singing abilities.”
“He’s not the only one with faith in your abilities, Shar Gracey.” Calvin stood up and directed his choir to stand as well. “I’ve been your choir director for some years now. I know your voice better than you know it, and I’m telling you that I believe that with you singing lead next week, this choir will see the best performance we’ve ever had.” He looked to his choir, “Are y’all with me?”
They all either nodded or said, “Yes,” with loud boisterous voices.
As Landon walked back into the room and down to where the choir stood cheering Shar on, he asked everyone to come down from the choir stand. “Let’s all join hands and pray, not just for this event, but for Shar as well. She has a gift that the enemy tried to steal. But we need to pray that God restore the sweet sound of her voice so that she will be able to do what she was meant to do before the foundation of the world. Amen.”
30
The choir’s loving response to her gave Shar the courage she needed to sit down and tell her parents about what had happened to her while on the road. Her daddy took the news harder than her mama. But Shar reassured him that she didn’t blame nobody but herself, because she didn’t have the strength to stand on her convictions. But she told them, “I’m standing now. I’m thankful for the experiences I had out there on the road, because it opened my eyes to the dangers that can come to us when we let our guard down.”
“Well, I guess my baby is all growed up now,” was all Marlene said as she dabbed at her eye with a cloth.
Shar felt better than she had in a long, long time. It was as if she was walking on a cloud instead of the raggedy old streets in the Black Belt. She made it to the church an hour before the concert was to begin. Shar wanted to have a little time to work on warming up her vocals with Calvin. He had been so good about letting her rest her voice all week long, that Shar wanted to surprise him with how hard she had been working on each of the songs while at home. But Calvin had a surprise for her when she arrived at the church.
How Sweet the Sound Page 22