I nod, opening the door for them to step inside. Levi gets up from the sofa when he sees we’ve got guests, but falters when he looks at Rosie.
My gaze moves away from him when I hear a whimper. I turn to find Rosie shaking, and watch as she moves half a step behind Jordan, like she’s seeking protection.
Jordan gives us an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you had company. We can go grab coffee.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m going to surprise my boyfriend at work. You guys stay in the warmth. Is that okay?” Levi asks softly, his eyes on Rosie. Her cheeks turn pink, but she gives a barely perceptible nod, her eyes downcast.
“You sure?” I ask, hating that he feels like he has to leave, but at the same time loving him for his consideration towards a stranger.
“Yeah. I was going to go later anyway, so it’s no problem.”
He grabs his keys and jacket, walking towards us slowly. Rosie steps out of his way, and as he reaches us, Jordan clears her throat. “Thank you,” she says quietly.
“It’s fine. You three stay out of trouble,” he tells us, before leaving.
When the door shuts, Rosie visibly relaxes, her face ashen. “I’m so sorry.”
Jordan wraps an arm around her. “It’s okay. You didn’t run off, so it’s a start.”
I’m missing something vital here.
“I think it was his size and all those tattoos.”
“Rosie was one of the victims from last year. She still has trouble being around males,” Jordan explains.
Rosie looks up at me, sorrow in her eyes. “I’m sorry. We came here and basically kicked him out. I just couldn’t form any words.”
“He’s a softie. He might have all those tattoos, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. We tried to get him to stomp on a spider last week, and instead he caught it in a jar and set it free.”
She smiles, her face lightening. “At least he didn’t run screaming.”
I laugh. “No, but me and Mark did. It was huge,” I tell her, holding my hands together to show her. “Would you like a drink?”
“Coffee,” they both say, then start laughing.
“I hear you. I’ve not had a cup yet.”
“You poor thing,” Jordan says.
She gets it. Banner would just roll his eyes at me and tell me to wait. He’s not really a big coffee or drinker—or tea. It’s weird.
I head into the kitchen, flicking the kettle on and grabbing cups out of the cupboard.
“How was your visit with your friends?” Jordan asks as they both follow behind.
“Great. I really miss her, more now she’s here to talk to. Before, I thought she was gone forever.”
“What do you mean?”
I finish making their coffee and step into the front room, taking a seat in the love chair. Since they shared about Rosie, it’s the least I can do to share some of my past. I normally avoid any topic of my past, hating the empty feeling I get inside my chest.
“When we were at high school, she was involved in an accident with her mum and brother. She thought she was the reason her brother had died. She ran away because she couldn’t bear to face her parents. She was out of her mind with grief and self-hate. The accident wasn’t anyone’s fault, though. A year ago, her boyfriend found her parents. She had been homeless, so his nan had taken her in. When Max found out about her past, he contacted her parents. She was shocked when she found them downstairs, her brother alive.”
“Oh, my god, that sounds horrible. I bet she’s just as happy as you about being back in each other’s lives.”
I shrug, then take a chance when I tell them a bit more. “I was going through something when she ran away. I suffered with depression and missed her like crazy. But I was also mad at her for leaving me when I needed her the most. When I found out she was alive and back in our home town, it helped me move forward. I just don’t like the thought of losing her again.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Yeah.”
Clearing her throat, Rosie sits forward. “Jordan said you’re volunteering to help with the cake sale. Do you want any help?”
“If you want to help, more the merrier, but I’m good if you can’t,” I tell her, not wanting to push her. I can see she’s in a bad place still, but she’s also a fighter. I can see it in her eyes, no matter how blank her gaze gets when she’s lost in thought.
“I want to. I love decorating cakes.”
I brighten. “Are you good at it?”
“Yep.”
“Great! I’m only good at the basics. Anything beyond plopping icing on the cake is a no go. If I bake them, do you want to come and decorate them?”
“I’d like that. Are you going to cook one to donate for the raffle? I can help decorate that, too, if you’d like. Most of it I can do at home until the cake is baked.”
“That sounds awesome. When I was asked, I said yes, not thinking about that part of the baking,” I tell her, laughing. I’m also glad for the change in subject, no longer wanting to live in the past.
By the time we finish planning what we’re going to do, it’s late in the evening and time for them to go. I walk them outside.
“It was lovely meeting you, Rosie.”
“Same. I don’t go out much, but if you ever want to hang out at mine, or meet up somewhere quiet, call me. I’ll get Jordan to text you my number.”
Jordan looks proud as she listens to Rosie. It’s just a guess, but I’m presuming this is a big step for her.
“I will. Thank you. And the quieter the better; I hate crowds.”
She blushes, ducking her head. “Me too.”
I smile at her, finding her adorable, before turning to Jordan. “Thanks for coming on such short notice. I just have a busy couple of weeks and didn’t want to keep you waiting.”
“It’s fine. We were only going to sit in and watch movies, and we can do that when we get back. Thank you for having us, and tell Levi I said thank you, too.”
“And that I promise to try and relax the next time I see him,” Rosie adds.
“Don’t push yourself. Just do what you feel is comfortable. But I do promise you neither Levi, Mark, nor Banner would ever hurt you. Mark and Banner are bigger built than Levi, and have more tattoos, but they’d sooner cut off their arm than hurt a girl.”
“Thank you,” she whispers, and something passes between us. Sometimes when she looks at me, I wonder if she knows we’ve been through something similar, except hers was much worse and a lot more horrific.
I wave them off, and just as I’m about to turn inside, a chill runs down my spine. I look around the darkening street, seeing no one that stands out, but the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, telling me otherwise.
I quickly close the door, grateful the residents of the building need a key fob to get inside. I rush up the stairs, to the first floor, and into our flat, slamming the door shut behind me.
The feeling still doesn’t go away, so I head to my bedroom, where I can spend the rest of the evening tucked up in bed waiting for Banner to get back.
Something isn’t right here in Whithall. There’s been a series of rapes, and now women are getting murdered. It’s frightening to know something so heinous, so tragic, could happen so close to home. It breaks my heart knowing families are losing loved ones.
However, the sick feeling I get in my stomach when I feel someone watching me, is different, like I know who the person watching me is.
A sense of foreboding creeps up my spine, screaming at me that I won’t like what’s to come.
That I’m once again trapped inside my own prison, only almost free.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Wednesday comes around quickly, and before I know it, I’m leaving the house to go and meet Becky. We’re going to meet at the university and walk over to the all-night café close by.
It snowed the night before, leaving a dust of flakes on the ground. I pull my scarf up higher when the cold night air
hits my cheeks.
I should have stayed at home. It’s freezing.
The walk isn’t far, but I’m regretting not taking up Banner’s offer to drive me. I would have said yes but I didn’t want him out on the roads, not in this weather.
A snowflake twirls through the air in front of me, promising more to come. We may have four seasons, but we never have them in the months we’re supposed to. It’s going to be spring soon and instead of sun and flowers springing from the ground, all we have is rain or snow.
I’m nearing the pathway that leads to the English building when I feel eyes watching me from outside my field of vision. I scan the darkened path subtly, not seeing anything. But that doesn’t mean someone isn’t there. I can feel their eyes on me, sizing me up.
Being thoroughly aware that girls are being found murdered, and knowing Darren is out there, walking free, has only fed my paranoia. I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, expecting an attack to happen at any moment.
Footsteps creeping behind me, crunching in the snow, have me moving at a faster pace. The pathways have been gritted, so whoever it is must be walking in the grass, hiding behind the bushes.
My heart begins to race, my breath puffing out like a cloud of smoke in front of me as I begin to jog, my stomach twisting in knots.
Just as I’m about to enter the courtyard outside our building, a dark figure kicks off the wall. I come to a sudden stop, nearly tripping over my own feet when I see who is standing right in front of me. I feel the blood drain from my face, bile rising in my throat at the sight of my nightmare.
Darren looks different, nothing like the skinny, pale kid I remember him being. He’s put on weight and muscle, looking healthier than I’ve ever seen him. No longer does he have red eyes with dark circles under them. His skin even has colour.
“Emma.”
I take a step back, my hand going into my pocket to get my phone. If I thought I wouldn’t collapse after a few steps, I would run home. As it is, I don’t want to risk him finding out where I live or have him near me when I’m vulnerable.
“What are you doing here?” I ask shakily, holding one for Banner’s speed dial.
“Please don’t—I just want to talk,” he says, taking a step closer, his hands up.
I take a step back, putting the phone in my pocket when I see the call has connected.
“I don’t have anything to say to you. I want you to leave.” I move further away, feeling my entire body tremble—and not from the cold.
He pauses before taking a few steps back, his face pale. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. I just want to talk.”
“Are you following me?” I blurt out, glancing over my shoulder briefly before turning back to him. I no longer feel any eyes on me, but some primal part of me is worried it wasn’t Darren I felt watching me. I don’t think Darren being in front of me is a coincidence.
He looks taken aback. “No. Why? I promise, I just want to talk. You didn’t reply to my letter.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I tell him, before deciding to leave. If I know Banner, he will drive over here, so I head to the carpark, wanting to get away from him.
“Please, Emma. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you.”
I stop and spin around to face him, nearly causing him to bump into me. Memories from my attack assault me, and I feel the fear I felt that night. It hits me so hard I struggle for breath. Darren watches me as I bring myself back to reality, and wisely takes a step back.
“Sorry for what you did to me? What about my sister—are you sorry for killing her?”
He glances away, having the audacity to look ashamed. “I didn’t kill Lara. I gave her the drugs, yes, but they weren’t mine. I had sold out and she begged me”
I hold my hand up. “Stop! I don’t want to hear it. Leave me alone and stop following me, otherwise I’m going to the police.”
“I just want you to hear me out. I need to explain, Emma.”
I grit my teeth. “No! I don’t owe you anything, Darren. I don’t have to listen to a word you have to say, and I won’t.”
Tyres squeal in the car park, and I know it’s Banner without looking. He’s not even next to me but already I feel safer.
“I owe you everything.”
“Get the fuck away from her!” Banner yells as he comes storming up behind us. He doesn’t stop when he reaches us.
“I just wanted to—Fuck!” Darren holds his bleeding nose as he falls to the floor. I gasp, before rushing over to Banner and pulling him back.
“Stop! I don’t want you getting into trouble.”
Banner doesn’t look at me as he glares down at Darren. “Stay the fuck away from her, Darren. You’ve put her through enough.”
“I need to tell her something. Please. I’ll only take five minutes.”
I have to look away from his pleading face, almost feeling sorry for him. He’s not the Darren I remember. Back when we were younger, he would never apologise. He was cocky, arrogant and sure of himself. I never liked him, but I put up with him for Lake. I never understood what she saw in him. She was my best friend, though, and I’d do anything for her. Even put up with a low life like Darren.
“I don’t give a fuck if it takes two. You aren’t talking to her.”
He looks to me, his eyes pleading. “Did you read the letter?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Read it, please.”
I watch him get up before answering. “I destroyed it. Darren, go home. I don’t want to see you or speak to you.”
He nods like he understands. “If you change your mind, contact your lawyer. I gave them my details, explaining I wanted to talk to you.”
“Go, before I deck you again. You’ve got no fucking right coming here and doing this to her,” Banner growls.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just sorry,” he says, sounding broken.
I thought seeing him drowning in guilt, broken up over his sins, would make me happy, but it doesn’t. I just feel confused. I’ve hated him for so long. I hated him so much it ate away at me. I would daydream over what I would say to him, what I would do differently—what I would do to him. In none of my imaginary scenarios did I feel sorry for him.
Not able to look at him any longer, I pull harder on Banner’s arm. “Come on, I want to go. I’ll email my teachers and say I’m sick.”
Banner doesn’t say a word as we turn back to his car. Taking a glance over my shoulder, I’m surprised to see Darren still standing there, holding his nose. He looks defeated. Something catches his attention, because his head snaps to the side like he’s seen something.
A shiver runs up my spine at the look he gives me, like he wants to call out my name.
“Did he hurt you?” Banner asks as he pulls open his door. He had been in such a rush he left the car running.
I get in the car, rubbing my hands together. “No.” I let him walk around the car and get in before speaking. “Thank you for coming for me. I didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t want him following me home.”
Instead of driving me home straight away, he faces me, reaching over and pulling me in for a hug. “When I heard his voice over the phone, I thought my heart had stopped beating. I kept picturing the worst. Are you sure you’re okay? He didn’t do anything?”
We pull apart, and I force a smile to reassure him. I don’t think Darren would have hurt me tonight, however, my judgement has been impaired before when it comes to him. There’s no telling what he would do.
“I promise he didn’t do anything. Can we go home? I don’t think I can stomach meeting Becky or going to class right now. I just want to go home.”
He nods, putting the car into gear. I take my phone out, explaining to Becky I’m heading back home because I’m not feeling well.
Banner takes my hand, holding it in his lap as he drives, only letting go when he needs to change gears.
When we get back home, exhaustion hits me. I ache e
verywhere. We’re just walking up the stairs to the flat when I hear Mark and Levi’s hurried voices.
“He’s not answering, Levi. If something’s happened to her”
“Hey, it’s okay. She’ll be okay. I’m sure she just forgot her books or something,” Levi answers, trying to soothe him.
I give Banner a questioning look and he grimaces. “I kind of ran out before I could explain anything. But they knew it was you calling, ‘cause I told them you’d probably forgotten something and was calling me to drop it off to you.”
“Banner? Is that you?” Mark yells, rushing to the top of the stairs. When he sees me with him, his face turns pale and he walks down the few steps to get to me. “Thank fuck. Are you okay? Did something happen?” He pulls away to glare at Banner. “The next time something happens, don’t fucking rush off. You’re lucky I don’t lay you out for scaring the shit out of me.”
“Sorry, mate. I heard Darren’s voice over the phone and just panicked. I didn’t stop and think. I’m sorry.”
Mark’s eyes widen. “Darren? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I slap his arms away from inspecting for injuries. “I’m fine. He didn’t touch me.”
“What the fuck did he want?”
“He wanted to explain—to say sorry.” I shrug, trying to erase the picture of his expression when I told him no. I hate myself for feeling sorry for him. He ruined my life. I could have gone off to college with my other friends had he not destroyed what remaining part of my soul I had left. The pieces I had, he scattered. And now I’m standing here feeling sorry for him. It’s not right.
Mark’s face is filled with anger when he looks to Levi. “You fucking hearing this? He’s sorry. Fucking sorry. Like that is going to make up for the shit he caused.”
“Let’s get inside. My balls are blue, they are that cold,” Levi says, pushing Mark towards the door.
“Where were you two going? I thought you were staying in tonight,” I remind them, looking around the room. Before I left, they had the X-Box out and was playing Call of Duty.
Mark glares at Banner one more time. “To look for you two. When he didn’t answer his phone or come back right away, we decided to come find you ourselves.”
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