Lucan gritted his teeth when he saw Cara was beyond listening. She wouldn’t stay still long enough for him to gather her in his arms and take her from the chamber. She would fight him every step of the way, and he didn’t want her hurt. So he did the only thing he could think of to calm her.
He kissed her.
The moment his lips touched hers, his hunger rushed back with a vengeance. It had never gone away, but touching her again, kissing her again, had only doubled his need.
He ran his tongue over her lips seeking entry. Her body was rigid, but she wasn’t fighting him any longer. She issued a breathy moan that made his rod throb with need. Her body relaxed, her back arching as she leaned up to deepen the kiss.
Lucan slid his tongue past her lips and groaned when she touched her tongue to his. He was only going to kiss her to quiet her, but he should have known it for the folly that it was.
He deepened the kiss, losing himself in her soft, willing body. Her legs shifted, her feet running along the backs of his legs and bringing his raging cock against her. He could feel her heat, the molten desire that called to him.
His hands loosened their hold on her wrists and intertwined his fingers with hers. The kiss turned frantic, heated. The hunger consumed him, demanding he take her and sink into her moist heat to claim her as his own.
He ground his hips against her, the friction causing him to moan and repeat the movement. Her nails dug into the backs of his hands as she arched her back.
Lucan caressed his hands down her arms to her sides, his fingers grazing the undersides of her breasts. Her hands slid into his hair. He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth and ran his tongue over it. She groaned and set his blood afire.
He pinched her nipple and heard her gasp turn into a moan. He longed to pull the taut bud between his lips and suckle until she writhed against him with a hunger that matched his own.
With his other hand, he caressed down her side to the indent of her waist and over the swell of her hip. When his hand met warm skin, he smiled and slanted his mouth over hers.
In her struggle to be free, her gown had gathered at her hips, exposing her legs and sex to him. Just knowing it was only his clothes that separated them made sweat break out over his skin.
He skimmed his hand over her leg and under her plain white nightgown. The touch of his skin on her hip made his blood, already heated, boil. His thumb grazed the smooth skin between her thigh and the curls that hid her sex.
“Lucan,” she murmured between kisses.
He could take her. She wanted him, possibly felt the same hunger as he did. He pushed the hem of her gown higher, rocking his swollen rod against the silky flesh of her sex.
The distinctive whistle he and his brothers had been taught by their father reached him. He knew it was Quinn, and he didn’t care. He had Cara in his arms. That’s all that mattered.
The whistle sounded again.
Lucan was fast losing control. If he didn’t leave Cara now, he wouldn’t. He would take her innocence. She might enjoy it now, but once she saw him, really saw him, she would regret her gift and hate him for it. He would rather have a cockstand for eternity than have her disdain.
He jumped off the bed and stepped away from her. His gut twisted when she sat up, watching him with wide eyes.
“What is it?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t trust myself with you. I lose all control with just a touch. Besides, Quinn is calling for me.”
“But I want you to touch me.”
Lucan squeezed his eyes closed. “Don’t. Don’t say that.”
There was a rustle on the bed. He knew without looking she had risen and stood before him.
“Why can’t I say what I mean?” Her voice was close, too close.
Lucan opened his eyes and retreated another step. “You don’t know me, Cara.”
“I do,” she said with a sensual smile that made his balls tighten. “You’re the man who saved me, the man who protects me, the man who teaches me to fight. And the man who awakens desires I didn’t know I had.”
“You wouldna be saying those things if you saw the monster that I am.”
She hesitated. “I would.”
In that instant he knew she never could, no matter how much they both might want it. “Nay.”
“You don’t know that,” she argued.
“Neither do you.”
She lifted her chin. “Have some faith in me. You’ve proven what kind of man you are. I know of the god inside you, and I still want you.”
Lucan knew unless she saw the god unleashed, truly saw him for what he was, she would believe they could be together. There was only one thing for him to do, though he was loath to do it, for it would mean she would no longer turn her mahogany eyes to him with trust or desire. There would only be revulsion and hatred.
But it was for the best.
“Are you so sure?” he asked.
“Positive.”
Lucan inhaled and released the god. He ran his tongue over his lengthening teeth, flexed his fingers as his claws extended. He didn’t need to look down at his arms to know his skin, as well as his eyes, had gone black—he could feel it, the subtle tingle in his skin.
Cara’s eyes widened in shock. Her lips parted as if she would speak, but no words came.
“As I thought,” Lucan said, and tried to smile. He knew it came off more as a grimace but didn’t care. “Stay in your chamber until one of us comes back for you.”
It wouldn’t be him, but there was no reason to tell her that. He turned and stalked from the chamber, hating himself with every step. He called the darkness around him, welcomed the shadows. She had been a bright speck in his future, and he had just seen it diminish into nothing. But it was for the best.
Wasn’t it?
Lucan pushed Cara from his mind—or at least he tried—and hurried out of the castle. When he reached the bailey he found Fallon and Quinn.
“Where have you been?” Quinn asked.
Fallon’s knowing gaze found Lucan’s. “He was seeing to Cara.”
Quinn swore under his breath. “We have people at the village and you want to make sure she’s all right?”
The moonlight hit him as a cloud moved in the sky showing he had released the god. Quinn’s eyes widened, but Fallon didn’t seem surprised.
“That wasn’t a good idea,” Fallon said.
Lucan didn’t care what Fallon thought. “It was for the best.”
“What in the name of all that is holy is going on?” Quinn ground out.
“Nothing,” Lucan hurried to say when Fallon started to speak. “Who is at the village?”
“The MacClure clan,” Quinn answered. “They’re going through the cottages now.”
“Did you see how many?”
“Of course.” Quinn rolled his eyes at the question.
“Well?” Lucan prompted.
“Only ten, but two left as soon as they saw what had happened.”
“More will be on the way,” Fallon said. “They’re going to want answers.”
Lucan nodded. “Just as we did. Part of me wants to give them answers.”
“They wouldn’t believe us.”
“I know.”
Quinn crossed his arms over his chest. “Right now they’re more concerned with burying their dead.”
“A good thing, too.” Fallon sniffed the air. “The bodies would begin to smell soon.”
“I’ll go to the village,” Lucan said as he started to walk past his brothers.
Quinn stopped Lucan with a hand on his shoulder. “Stay near Cara. You’re the one who swore to protect her. I’ll go to the village and make sure none of the MacClures try and venture this way.”
Lucan watched Quinn leave.
“In three hundred years his anger hasn’t faded,” Fallon said. “Will it ever?”
“A more important question is how much longer does he have until he cannot control the god at all?”
Fallon shook
his head. “You don’t seem to have a problem controlling Apodatoo.”
The urge to strike out at Fallon, to slam his fist into his brother’s face for revenge, overwhelmed Lucan. “Someone had to look after you two. Did I want to be the one who was forced to control it and my rage? Did I want to be the one who shouldered all the responsibility seeing to each of you through the years? Nay. I didn’t ask for any of it, but you certainly didn’t want the role.”
“Lucan,” Fallon started.
“You don’t get to make these decisions now. You gave up the right to lead us when you turned to the wine. Go back inside. Quinn and I will see to everything.”
Lucan turned on his heel and leapt onto the battlements with a single jump. From there, it was easy to leap and climb his way back to the tower where he would keep watch until dawn. There was nothing else for him to do, and he didn’t trust himself to go inside the castle.
That’s where Cara was.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Cara stared at the space where Lucan had been. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and with the moonlight from the window she had seen all of him. She hadn’t been prepared to see him with the god set free, however. It had been frightening and a little . . . exciting.
To see him change like that, right before her eyes, had been startling. His skin had gone from the dark golden tan to black in the space of a blink. She had witnessed his claws before, but when his eyes had gone obsidian and his teeth lengthened, it had proven to her just how dangerous he was.
Dangerous, aye, but she also knew he wouldn’t harm her. He had proven it to her in so many different ways.
It also infuriated her because she knew he desired her, but his fear of how she would react to him held him back. Cara had always thought herself pious and innocent, but one kiss from Lucan Mac Leod and she was a wanton who thought only of his hands and mouth on her body.
Becoming a nun now was no longer something she wanted or could do. There was no way she could think of that life, not after sampling the desire that hummed through her blood even now.
That was twice in one night Lucan had brought her body to such a state of need only to leave her. She trembled with it but had no idea how to ease herself. Knowing Lucan was in as much pain did not calm her, though. In fact, it exasperated her even more.
She paced the chamber, her hands clenched into fists as she tried to slow her breathing and cool her heated body. It took longer than she would have liked because she kept thinking of Lucan, of his soul-stirring kisses and caresses that left her breathless.
It was only then that she realized she had been standing in the dark. Alone. Cara jerked to a stop and looked around the chamber.
She sank onto the bed and smiled. It had been a long time since she had faced the dark with such bravery. She wasn’t sure if she could do it again, or how much longer she could stay in the chamber without light, but she was amazed that she was there at all.
And she had Lucan to thank for that. He was the one who had tried to tell her it would be all right, that he was there to protect her. She hadn’t listened to him, but when he had kissed her all her attention had focused on him, with everything else forgotten.
Warriors could have stormed the castle and she wouldn’t have cared. Nothing mattered as long as she was in Lucan’s arms. It seemed cruel that she had found some measure of peace and security in the one man who didn’t think he was worthy to give it to her.
If anyone could protect her, it was Lucan.
She scooted back against the headboard and pulled the blankets around her. Lucan had told her to stay in the chamber until one of them came back for her. She hoped it was Lucan who came, because she was going to prove to him that she still wanted him—god and all.
The chance never came, however. She stood and readied for the day after she watched the sun break over the horizon. Her eyes were scratchy from lack of sleep and her head ached from thinking about Lucan and what could be lurking in the dark.
She feared for him. She feared for all three brothers, because despite the powerful god inside them, they weren’t ready for the coming battle. Oh, Quinn wanted a fight. That much was obvious. But his rage would get the best of him.
Fallon would readily draw his sword and stand by his brothers, but that wasn’t what they needed. They needed Fallon to release the god, to become a Warrior.
And Lucan. She sighed. Lucan would try to be all things for everyone because it was what he did. He would want to stand beside Quinn and watch his back as he ran headlong into the battle. Lucan would want to stay by Fallon because he understood why Fallon wouldn’t give in to the god. And Lucan would want to stay next to her to protect her.
Any way she looked at it, Lucan would die. He would be unfocused, his mind on too many people to protect himself and battle the Warriors.
Cara might not know a lot, but she understood that these Warriors had accepted the god inside them and knew just how powerful they were.
For over three hundred years the MacLeod brothers had denied what was inside them. Denied it and refused to learn what their limits were. That had to change if they were going to beat Deirdre.
Cara blew out a breath and straightened the bed. Once that chore was completed, there was no reason for her to stay in the chamber. She glanced out the window but saw little of the village.
Cara left the chamber and headed to the kitchen to prepare something to break their fast. She didn’t know where the brothers were, but she had to do something. She couldn’t sit any longer.
When she reached the kitchen she was surprised to find it clean and neat. There were three fireplaces where meat could be stewed in one of the large cauldrons or spitted. Off to the side she spotted a large buck tethered and awaiting slaughter. Thanks to hunting and the sea that teemed with fish, the MacLeods had plenty of meat.
Cara walked to one of the windows and glanced outside. She could still see where the garden had once been. Weeds had overtaken it. The few pots that stood next to the castle were broken, smashed in the attack on the castle so many years ago.
Her fingers began to tingle and something told her to go to the garden. Cara frowned at the pile of earth. It would take months to clean the garden, and she had other things to do first. She fisted her hands and turned away from the window.
She saw something wrapped on a nearby table and walked to it. She knew before she opened it that it was bread.
Angus had been supplying the brothers with bread and, she suspected, whatever else he could get to them. She thought of the candles she had burned, uncaring of where they had come from. There was no one at the castle to make candles. They had come from the village, she was sure. Now there was no one there to make more once hers were burned out.
Cara winced at her decadence. Sister Abigail had told Cara she needed to think of others more, that she put herself in the forefront too often. When it came to the dark, she didn’t have a choice over her fear.
Yet she had sat in the dark for hours. She had been terrified, but Lucan had been with her. He had promised her nothing lurked in the shadows waiting to attack.
It had been the most difficult thing she had done, to sit in the dark, her mind racing with possibilities. But she couldn’t put the brothers in jeopardy, either. Lucan would never have blown out her candles had there not been danger. She understood that, and for him she had faced her demons.
She blinked and focused on the kitchen. After a bit of scrounging, she found trenchers and gathered some oatcakes and the last bit of cheese she discovered and set it in the great hall. It wasn’t until she returned from the kitchen with a pitcher of water that she saw Fallon standing by the table staring at the food.
“What is it?” she asked. “Were you saving the cheese?”
Fallon shook his head. “It’s been a very long time since a woman has served me.”
“Sit,” she said. “I would bake some bread or make soup for supper, but there are few supplies in the kitchen.”
“We got m
ost everything from Angus. He and Quinn had a special relationship.”
She glanced at the door hoping to see Lucan. One heartbeat, two, and still no Lucan.
“Cara,” Fallon said.
She looked at him and forced a smile. “Will it be just us this morn?”
He stared at her a moment, his dark green eyes taking everything in. “For the moment. Quinn is at the village to see if he can learn anything.”
She refused to ask about Lucan, but the question burned inside her. Instead, she handed Fallon an oatcake and filled his goblet with water.
“We used to want for nothing,” he said after he took a bite of cheese. “Sheep dotted the hillsides and we fished the sea. My mother cultivated a rich garden full of herbs and flowers. A steady supply of milk, water, and wine was always available for whoever wanted it. I havena had milk in so long I’ve forgotten the taste.”
“You and your brothers have survived when others would have returned to Deirdre.”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Lucan is the one who kept us together. Had it been just Quinn and I, we would have gone our separate ways years ago.”
“You don’t know that. Quinn loves you. You’re his only link to his past, and though he may hold much anger, he won’t forget that.”
Fallon tilted his head to the side. “And what of me, Cara? How do you see me?”
She sat and took a bite of an oatcake and chewed, giving herself time to think. The last thing she wanted to do was anger Fallon, but he had asked. She shrugged as she swallowed the food. “I think you’re afraid of the god, afraid of what you might do. I think you want to do the right thing, you want to be there for your brothers as you always have, but you’ve forgotten how.”
Fallon smiled. “How is it you can be here for just a few days and see things so clearly?”
“I don’t know.” Cara lowered her gaze and turned the oatcake in her fingers.
“What do you see of Lucan?”
She had been afraid Fallon would ask. “Nothing.”
“I think you’re lying. You see Quinn and me for what we are. I think you see Lucan for what he is as well.”
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