“Tara,” Colin began, looking out at the ocean, although she could tell that he could not see the Seelie fairies. It was still much too dark for him. “There’s a lot I feel I must tell you.”
“Likewise,” she said.
They were quiet as they made their way back to the camp. The sky was beginning to lighten into a pale pink as the sun rose up from the horizon. Baldric had fallen back asleep, as though his adventure had never happened.
“How did you know where he was?” Colin finally asked. He had led Tara away from the boy so that he wouldn’t hear them converse.
“I had a feeling he would go to the ocean,” Tara replied.
“But you carried no torchlight with you. How were you able to see?”
“Perhaps just as Baldric was able to see,” Tara said. “I know he is half-fairy.”
Colin visibly swallowed and nodded his head. “Yes, that is what I thought. He is half-fairy.”
“I already knew, Colin. I saw you two at Rhona’s church. I just thought that… Perhaps it was none of my business, so I didn’t say anythin’ to you about it. I didn’t expect we would be goin’ on some grand journey together.”
“Yet here we are.”
“Aye, here we are.”
Colin folded his arms. “You’re a fairy, too, aren’t you?”
Tara nodded slowly. “Half-fairy, just like Baldric.”
“Are you a selkie?”
Tara paused. “Nay, a shapeshifter,” she replied.
“What does that mean?”
“I can change into an animal. However, I’m not verra good at it yet.”
A strange look crossed Colin’s face, and she decided not to even mention that she was a leannan sith. What good would it do? Would it only disgust Colin? Would he want to get away from her? She liked him very much. If nothing else, she wanted to continue to be his friend, and she still wanted to be in Baldric’s life.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Colin asked her.
“I…” She hesitated. “I didn’t want things to be different between us, I suppose,” she finished.
They continued walking as Colin processed the information. “So you can change into animals?”
“I’m still learnin’. That is why I was at Rhona’s church—so she could help me out.” Tara laughed mirthlessly. “Although, all that I learned from her is that it’s up to me to figure out how to use my magic.”
“That’s about the gist I got from her, too,” Colin said, shaking his head. “Baldric is half-selkie.”
“Aye, I heard when I was at Rhona’s church. Is the blood from his mother or from you?’
“Oh, he’s not…” Colin sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Baldric’s not my son. He’s my nephew.”
Tara stared at him, stunned. She had created an entire story in her head about Colin and his selkie lover. Perhaps he’d had an affair with her and run off, or something of the sort, but now it turned out Colin wasn’t even Baldric’s father.
“His father wanted to kill him.” He sighed. “I know my story seems so outlandish…”
“Nay, it does not,” Tara said. “My mother wants to kill me.” And after this harrowing journey, she still didn’t know a way to stop Una from doing so. Instead, she had made things worse.
“I suppose we are more alike that I’d originally thought,” Colin said.
“Well, father or not, the way you two act around each other makes me feel wistful. I wish I had a father-like figure growing up.”
“But it seems like you have grown into a fine woman, regardless.” Suddenly, he reached out and brushed a lock of Tara’s hair away from her face. “Thank you for saving Baldric,” he told her.
Tara froze and pulled her head away from him.
Colin furrowed his brows. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to seem untoward.”
“Oh, no need to worry yourself,” she said hurriedly. She was grateful that it was still dark and he couldn’t see her face turning a bright red. She would do anything for him to touch her like that again, but she didn’t trust herself or her magic.
Aye, she had no confidence whatsoever.
Later that morning, Colin maintained a respectable distance from her by walking alongside the horse as they continued north. There was a somber silence in the air as they kept looking back at the destruction behind them.
Eventually, Tara couldn’t stand the silence any longer and tried to ask more questions about Colin’s life. She wanted to distract herself from the tragedy and from her legs and bum that had become tired from sitting on the horse so long.
“Your mother is Scottish?” she asked him.
“Yes, her heart has always been in the Highlands,” Colin replied, but said no more. He stopped the horse suddenly as he stared at a house that looked abandoned. “Wait here,” he told her.
“Where are you going?” she asked him, but he was already gone behind a group of trees.
“Where’d Da go?” Baldric asked. He had just woken up from his sleep and rubbed his eyes wearily.
“Don’t worry. He’ll be back soon.” Tara patted Baldric reassuringly on his head and waited. He better be back soon, she thought.
He came back leading a brown stallion, already saddled, with an extra saddle around his shoulder. “Oh, good,” Tara exclaimed, excited about the prospect of a cushion under her bum. “I assume there was no fire involved with this capture?” She got off the mare with Baldric and helped Colin saddle the creature.
“Rest assured, I didn’t have to use fire. The farm was abandoned. A lot of people seem to be fleeing north. Some are leaving livestock and horses behind.”
“Can I have this one?” Baldric asked, staring up at the stallion, his eyes wide.
“You’ll take turns with both,” Colin told him. “Up you go, then.”
They made it to the small town of Perth in the evening and were relieved to find the town unscathed by King Edward’s men. For the most part, people went to and fro as though they didn’t know that the world was burning just to the south of them. But here and there, Tara could see some refugees huddled in the alcoves, soot in their hair and terror clouding their eyes.
“King Edward’s men must still be in Lothian,” Colin said. “They are sure taking their time if we made it here before them. We weren’t traveling very fast.”
“They’re probably makin’ sure that everythin’ is destroyed before movin’ on,” Tara said, shivering at the thought.
She didn’t feel safe enough to board at an inn, so they made camp outside. Tara scanned the trees and foothills that progressed into taller mountains immediately to the west. She knew that Dunaid Castle stood beyond those mountains. As they set up their camp, Tara considered heading west the following morning but quickly realized that it would most likely only bring danger. Would her mother and King Edward’s men follow her there and lay waste to her brother’s lands like they had Lothian?
“What’s the matter, Tara?” Colin asked as he prepared to make a fire. Baldric came up to him with a bundle of small sticks in his arms and dropped them into the fire pit. “Good lad,” he said to him. Baldric smiled in response and went to find more sticks.
“My home is in danger. I need to return to it before my mother does.”
Colin sat back on his heels and stared at her. “What do you mean?”
How much should she tell him? Tara took a deep breath. “My mother is an evil person. We… we have a link, her an’ I. A magical connection. I don’t think she knew I was in Haddington specifically, but she knew I was in Lothian, an’ I think she used that knowledge to destroy the Lowlands. She wants to do the same to the Highlands, I assure you. She wants to take over all of Scotia.” And perhaps England as well. If King Edward was under her thumb, then it would not be a difficult task for Una.
“But this was all King Edward’s doing,” Colin said, not understanding. He shook his head. “Is your mother a shifter like yourself? Is that what you mean? I thought shifters were part of t
he Seelie Court.”
“No… she’s…” Tara shook her head. “This is my fault. This is my entire fault.” She dropped her head in her hands and felt the pit of her stomach sink as tears began to trickle down her cheeks.
I’m sorry, Adam, she thought. I am sorry, Nellie, Deidre, Alan, Aulay, Brigid, Bhreac, Ealair… I couldn’t save any of you…
Colin sat down next to her. “I can’t say I know much about what is going on,” he told her. “But I assure you what King Edward’s doing in Scotia is not your fault, unless you’re his advisor. Are you his advisor? Have you been keeping that from me this entire time?” His attempt at humor only made Tara cry even harder. “Come now,” he said and gathered her in his arms.
Tara made to pull away, shocked at the comforting gesture and frightened of what it could mean, but he felt so good. She fit in his arms perfectly, like the shards of a broken vase. She rested her head under the crook of his neck as she let her tears fall.
These weren’t even tears for Lothian anymore, but tears for her past, when she spent fifteen years of her life under her mother’s dark wings, thinking the entire time that Una was a saint, oblivious to the horrors that she had committed. It was kept a secret during her childhood that her mother killed her own father and Tara was denied the opportunity to grow up with her brother, who needed her as much as he needed him. Never would she be able to forgive the woman of such a thing.
Her tears were of sorrow and of anger. Her body tensed until Colin began to stroke the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair. She lost track of the time as she cried, but, eventually, there were no tears left. She finally pulled away to look up at the man who was holding her so quietly. His gaze was compassionate. Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the forehead.
“You are such a strong woman, Tara,” he told her.
“It doesn’t feel that way, sometimes,” she sniffled. Colin reached into his pocket and drew out a handkerchief. “Thank you,” she said, taking the piece of cloth to dry her face.
“With all that goes on in a person’s mind, it’s hard to discern for yourself what is true and what is not. It takes someone from the outside to let you know.” Colin paused. “I’m babbling a bit, but what I’m trying to say is to not doubt yourself and to not doubt what you’re capable of.”
“Thank you,” Tara mumbled into the handkerchief, knowing he was correct. It was easier said than done, however.
Baldric walked up to her and held out something in his hands. It was small branch from a holly bush, with strands of grass tied around the stick like a bouquet.
“For Tara,” he told her. “I hope you feel better.”
“Oh, thank you, Baldric,” Tara said, feeling a new rush of tears about to fall.
“I always feel better after I cry,” he said shyly.
Tara laughed through her tears. “Aye, I do as well.” Baldric gave her another smile and walked off to go play in the grass. Tara turned back to Colin. “I’m not ready to reveal everythin’ that’s happened in my life. Not yet, anyway,” she said to him. “But I don’t want danger to follow you an’ Baldric. If there’s a chance that my mother is followin’ me north, if I continue on with you two…” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if somethin’ happened.”
“And so you think your mother knows you’d head to your home, Castle Dunaid?”
“Castle Dunaid is my brother’s home but where I’ve lived for many years. Castle Murdag is my castle. She would destroy both in heartbeat if given the chance.”
“And she’ll know if you go north to my mother’s castle instead?”
“Is that where you are headin’?”
Colin glanced at Baldric. “Yes. For now it might be the safest place for him,” he said.
Tara nodded. It had been since she changed into a bat that she linked with her mother, yet Una made no effort to try to link with her. Unless her mother had powers she did not know about and could track her footsteps without Tara’s knowledge, there was no other way she would know where Tara was at this particular moment. Aye, but she would know her daughter would escape back to Dunaid once Lothian was under attack.
“My mother would probably suspect I would head home. An’ she is right; I can’t leave the castle defenseless. I had hoped that I could gain enough knowledge in my magic before this happened, however.”
“I’m not leaving you to travel there alone,” Colin insisted. “If it was dangerous before, the danger is now tenfold.”
“I could travel as a bird, perhaps, an’ fly my way back.”
Colin frowned at her. “Do you know if you are able to stay in that form long enough to get you back to your home?”
“Nay,” Tara admitted. She looked down at her hands helplessly. “I don’t.”
“Well when was the last time you practiced?”
She shrugged. “I changed into a cat the day after we had dinner together the first time,” Tara said. “But I haven’t had a chance to try anythin’ else since then.”
“How about you practice tonight?” Colin suggested. “We’ll find a secluded spot, and you can try to change into a bird, or a cat, or whatever you deem fit.”
“You… you won’t be disturbed by it?”
Colin laughed. “Tara, I have a selkie for a nephew. These types of things don’t disturb me. Not anymore.”
Yes, but what if I told you that I am also an Unseelie fairy? Tara thought. The type of fairy that spooks people in the night?
She knew if she were to be with him any longer he would have to know her secrets. She didn’t want him to push him away, although she was still doing the same by keeping it from him. She remembered the feeling of his warm arms around her, and she knew deep down that she wanted more than that.
But would it be fair to Colin if he was being enchanted by her?
Chapter 13
They kept the fire going into the night. It was too cold not to, despite the flames being a potential beacon, alerting anyone nearby to where they were camping.
At one point a small storm passed through, extinguishing the small fire and sending a chill that cut straight to the bone. Colin gathered up birch and fir branches and took a long time trying to get it started again, but the wood was cold and wet.
“Say, you don’t have some sort of magic for starting a fire, do you?” he asked hopefully.
“If only,” Tara replied, smiling, although she was feeling nervous for what she was about to do. Baldric had overheard her talking about shifting and declared that he wanted to watch, too. He looked like a small bear as he sat bundled in Colin’s fur cloak, his uncanny eyes reflecting in the dim light.
“Aha! Finally!” Colin elatedly cried. The fire caught, and he started blowing on it to create a larger flame. Colin then threw some more sticks in the pit, and the fire ignited further. He sat down next to the boy and stretched out his long legs.
“I think it’s best if we give her some privacy,” Colin told Baldric. “Why don’t we find something to do in the meantime?”
“Nay, it’s quite all right,” she assured them. “I want to be under the pressure so that I can learn to change at any time, people or no people around.”
“If you are certain.”
“I am certain.” Tara’s hands were cold, so she held them out to catch the heat from the flames. Can I do this? she wondered nervously. Colin and Baldric’s eyes were on her, waiting with curious interest.
“I will change into a raven,” Tara declared to them and closed her eyes. What were the qualities of a raven? Their feathers were glossy black, almost shimmering blue under the moonlight. They had long, curved beaks and beady, intelligent eyes. Their talons were black and blended into the rest of their dark bodies. And the distinguishing caw that they let out could pierce the silence of the night and make tiny animals scurry for cover.
Ah, yes.
When she opened her eyes, she found herself flying high above the trees with the same feeling of exhilaration she had when
she was a bat. She looked excitedly down at Colin and Baldric, who stared back up at her with wide eyes and mouths hanging open.
I’ve done it! Tara thought. And it was quicker and easier than ever before!
The raven was much more of a graceful creature than the bat. She had no need to beat her wings erratically. Instead, she glided effortlessly through the tops of the fir trees. She ascended so high that she could see the smoke and orange glow of the flames licking the countryside of Lothian. So close, yet far. She would put a stop to this before any more destruction reached Scotia. That was for certain. She would find a way.
She flew farther north to scan the countryside, but all lay dark before her. In her human form, she could see well in the dark, but not so much as a raven. Luckily, the moon was bright, so she was able to see enough to pleasurably glide through the trees and foliage without crashing into anything. She let out a long caw, the only sound in the night, that seemed to vibrate through the branches of the leaves.
To her disappointment, it wasn’t too long before she grew weary. She halfheartedly headed back to the campsite, where Colin and Baldric’s heads were still turned to the sky, although she doubted they could see her still. Once she was above the campsite, she swooped down, startling the two of them, and turned swiftly back into a human.
Her body ached like she had just run a race, and her head hurt. Still, she was filled with elation over the progression of her magic. She ran over and embraced Colin without thinking. Colin seemed surprised at first, then reciprocated the embrace by wrapping his arms tightly around her. She was all too aware of how their bodies touched, how warm he was, and the quick heartbeat that matched her own. She pulled away slowly, embarrassed. They were silent for a while, neither knowing what to say.
“That was amazin’, Tara!” Baldric exclaimed, breaking the strained silence, oblivious to the tension between the two adults.
“Thank you, Baldric,” Tara said, somewhat relieved at the interruption. “Aye, it felt amazin’ to be up in the air like that!”
“Are you going back to your brother’s lands, then?” Colin asked. He had gotten up to stroke the fire once again and could hardly meet her gaze. She thought she saw his face flush, but perhaps it was naught but the heat of the fire.
Charming the Highlander Laird_Highland Warrior_Scottish Medieval Romance Page 10