Tears were welling in her eyes. It was all that she wanted to hear, but it still frightened her. Was this her magic speaking, or were these Colin’s true words?
“I don’t care if you’re a fairy,” he said.
“It’s not that,” Tara said. “At least, not completely.” She paused and bit her lip.
Colin looked around. The great hall was quickly filling up with people beginning their day. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private,” he said to her. She let him take her by the arm and guide her out of the castle walls and into his mother’s hedge maze.
“Do you plan to get us lost here?” Tara asked jokingly as they strolled through the hedge walls that towered above them and almost blocked out the daylight. She had already lost track of all the turns and twists they had taken and wondered worriedly if they would have to climb to the top of the hedge to find their way out.
“Worry not. I know the way,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile. They walked in silence. What was Colin going to say to her? Would he tell her that he loved her? Would she have to lie to him and say her heart was not in the same place?
There was a clearing up ahead where a bench sat. The bench looked to be made of oak, decorated naturally with intricate knots and spirals. In front of the bench was a bed of flowers, where a stone placard lay nestled. Colin crouched down beside the placard and laid his hands on it, trailing his fingers over the engraved words. Tara walked over to him and read the words.
William Morrison, 1346-1350
“Did you know him?” Tara asked softly.
Colin stood up and walked over to sit on the bench, leaving enough room for her to sit next to him. He was still staring at the placard, although his eyes seemed to be in an entirely different place and time. “I used to be married once. When I was just a boy, I was betrothed to a girl from Ireland who had more money than both my mother and father’s estates combined. After we came of age and had our wedding, we had a child, a beautiful baby boy.”
Tara looked at him, shocked. “Oh, Colin. I had no idea…”
“His name was William, and he was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. He was the joy of my life and my best friend. One day, when he was Baldric’s age, I took him swimming. He already knew how to swim, so I wasn’t worried. I was still keeping an eye on him, but I looked away for just one moment. One moment and he was gone. Quicker than a blink, the water took him in and never released him.”
They were sitting next to his son’s grave. Tears flooded Tara’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Colin nodded numbly. “My wife wouldn’t look me in the eye after that happened. She refused to speak to me and even refused to see her son’s body. I took William up to Scotia with me to bury him, and I spent a lot of time here at Aengus, not being able to leave his side. But I also knew I was running away from my life in Northumbria, so I finally found the courage to come home and face my wife. However, she had long since left me. She went back to Ireland to be with her family.” He shook his head. “I don’t blame her, either. I waited for her, but she never returned. It was a few months later that I received a letter from her family in Ireland. Sometime while I was at Aengus, my wife had become ill and died. From the letter, it sounded as though her family blamed me for the sickness, and I never refuted it.
“I was devastated for the longest time. I had such a perfect life before William died, and, so quickly, it all fell away. I went into a deep depression and sold my estate to live in a small room at my brother’s castle.
“But then, Baldric appeared in my life. My brother didn’t want him and was about to give him up for a farmer’s family to adopt. I had nothing, so I decided to take Baldric in and throw away what little reputation I had left. I crafted a lie saying that I had sired him from a mistress and that is why my wife left me. Only those who lived at Wymond Castle knew the truth.”
Tara didn’t know what to say. She had no idea that Colin had lived through such a tragedy. He was still sitting upright, but his shoulders were slumped slightly, and his head was lowered, no longer staring at his son’s grave, but down at his hands.
“I didn’t want the same thing to happen to Baldric. I didn’t want him to die because I couldn’t save him. I would do anything to not let that happen.”
Tara leaned forward and kissed him gently on the cheek. He turned to her, seemingly shocked by the gesture, but then his features soften as he looked at her. “When I met you back in Haddington,” he said, “I had a similar feeling that I had when Baldric first came into my life, like a heavy veil had been lifted and I could finally see clearly. Did you… did you feel the same way?
“Aye,” Tara whispered. “I did.”
Colin shook his head. “I really want to kiss you again. Is that all right?”
Tara nodded, lifting her chin up to meet his lips. This kiss was different from the night before. It was slower, less full of desperation and more of a gentle exploration. He is making me finally feel whole again, Tara realized, when, for so long, it felt like a piece of my soul had been missing.
Tara broke away and shook her head. “I shouldn’t have done that. Colin, I… I cannot be with you.”
“Why is that?” Colin asked. “Like I said, I don’t care if you’re a half-fairy. None of that matters to me. And I know you feel something for me. So what is it?”
She had to tell him the truth. He deserved to know. But once she told him, would he leave her? Would she never know what it felt like to be kissed by him again? To be held by him?
“I am a leannan sith,” Tara told him quietly.
Colin furrowed his brows. “Leannan sith?” he asked, stumbling over the name. “What is that?”
Tara took a deep breath. “A leannan sith is an Unseelie fairy whose sole purpose is to enchant men to do their biddin’.”
Colin’s face was unreadable, and that alarmed her. “So you’re not just a shifter?” he asked her.
Tara shook her head. “Nay, my mother is a leannan sith. The Seelie blood that I carry is from my father’s side.”
“So you enchant men?”
What was the look on his face? Was it disgust? “I… I am trying to gain control of my magic. Rhona said I was already in control, but I’m not sure anymore.”
He seemed to understand where this was going. “How does a man know he is enchanted then?”
“You mean how do you know if you’re enchanted?” she amended. “Aye, that is what I’m afraid of. I know not. All I know is that I don’t want to be like my mother. She killed my father by enchantin’ him, and she killed my sister-in-law’s parents by puttin’ a curse on them. And now she most likely enchanted King Edward III in order to destroy all of Scotia.” She paused. “Am I… am I the same as her?” She glanced at Colin’s face. He avoided her gaze. Her stomach churned, and she quickly stood up. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to do anymore. I… I have to go.” She began to walk away from William’s grave.
“Tara, wait.”
She couldn’t stop. No. She didn’t want to see that look of disgust on his face again. It was the look of horror as he realized he’d been traveling with a monster this entire time. She ran through the hedge maze, not caring that she could get lost. She turned a corner, and then the next, losing herself deeper into the tall foliage.
The day was getting dark. Grey, heavy storm clouds obscured the sun and cast a shadow across the maze. The first raindrops fell. Large drops of water splashed on her shoulders and her head, dampening her clothes. She was barely aware that her body was shivering and that her teeth were chattering. She kept going until her legs collapsed and she fell into a heap on the wet grass, sobbing.
Her sling came undone, and she stared mutely at Colin’s torn shirt, which had served to heal her arm. She held it in her hands as she stood up on unsteady legs and continued to walk through the maze. She was surprised to be back at William’s grave; however, Colin was no longer there.
She sat on the bench and stared at the grave where
the little boy eternally slept. She thought of Baldric, of Nellie’s children, of all the families who perished during the razing of Lothian.
“I’m sorry, William,” she said to him, then lay down on the bench, using her breacan as a blanket. She curled into a tight ball, still shivering as the rain continued. However, she cared not for her discomfort. It was nothing compared to the agony of those who were dying all around her.
Chapter 17
When she woke up, she was in someone’s arms. His chest and arms were hard, and she felt his muscles under his tunic as he held her gently. She looked up and saw Colin’s face. His eyes looked tight, and he was frowning.
Is he angry? she thought.
She shivered violently and burrowed her head into his chest, relishing the warmth his body offered. Her eyes were closed, but she could tell that they were inside the castle now. It was a relief to be back within the warm and cozy walls.
Colin continued walking, passing curious whispers until he curtly silenced them. He lay her down gently on her blessedly soft bed.
Did he leave? Tara finally blinked her eyes open.
Colin had his arms crossed and glared down at her. “Don’t you ever do that again,” he demanded. He was still frowning at her. Despite how warm he felt moments before, he was drenched from head to toe and was also shivering. His hair clung to his face and his clothes to his body. Tara noticed the taut muscles of his chest and longed to be close to him again. Colin looked like he wanted anything but.
“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.
His eyes then softened. He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “I thought I had lost you,” he told her. “I was frightened.”
God, what a fool she was for making him worry so. “Thank you for findin’ me.”
“Let me get Sofie in here with some dry clothes,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said again.
Before he left, Colin reached out to take her hand in his. He gave it a gentle squeeze before releasing it and walking out of the room.
Sofie came scurrying in not too long after with a bundle of fresh clothes in her hands. “Are you all right, m’lady?” she worriedly asked as she closed the door and curtains.
Tara sat up in bed. “Aye, I’m fine.”
“That maze is enormous. I’ve been too frightened to walk through it for just the same reason. I would hate to get lost and have no one find me. You are lucky Laird Morrison was out there, searchin’.” The woman blushed and sighed dreamily. “How romantic to have him carry you in his arms like that.”
“You saw that?”
“Ach, the whole castle saw, m’lady,” Sofie said excitedly. “It was like those old tales of the prince rescuing the princess.” She sighed again.
Tara never much cared for those tales, as she would rather be the one doing the saving, but she was thankful for Colin’s help. And, she admitted, she did rather like being carried in his arms, enchantment or no enchantment.
She went to bed early that night, tired from all that had happened, but she was awoken very early the next morning by shouting downstairs. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes, confused. Was the castle under attack? She reached around blindly for her dagger and tied the sheath around her calf before wrapping her breacan around her shoulders.
The hallway was already lit up with candles, so she didn’t need to use her own. She opened the door and almost ran into a guard sprinting past in the hallway. A dozen or more guards were scattered about, peering into every room, swords drawn.
“What is going on?” she asked one of them.
“Laird Morrison’s lad is gone,” he said frantically. “His bed was found empty.”
Oh, no. Baldric!
She quickly went downstairs, hearing Colin’s voice and following after it. He was in the entrance hall, directing his guards in their search. He spotted Tara and she saw the despair in his face.
“Baldric is gone,” he told her desperately.
“Aye, I heard,” she said. “Do you think he might not be in the castle? That he traveled to the sea?”
Colin shook his head miserably. He didn’t seem to hear her words. “I should have kept a better eye on him. I thought he was safe here in the castle with so many people about. How… How could I have been so stupid?”
“It’s going to be all right, Colin,” she told him, hoping that it was true. “He couldn’t have gotten far if he’s headin’ toward the sea.”
“He was put to bed before sunset last night,” Colin went on, his eyes distant. “His window was wide open when I went in to check on him. What if… what if someone captured him? What if he’s… he’s dead? He’s only four, Tara.”
Tara realized what had happened with a sickening dread. Colin had been so preoccupied by Tara that he had forgotten to check in on Baldric last night. This was all because of her.
She would be the one to go find him and save him. “I know, Colin,” she said. “He’ll be fine. I’ll find him.”
The man was in a daze and seemed confused when she opened the entrance door. “Where are you going?” he asked sharply.
“He’s going to be all right, Colin,” she repeated and left before he could stop her.
Chapter 18
She headed north of the castle, toward Inverness. She first changed into a raven and glided through the trees, keeping a careful watch on the forest floor for any signs of the boy. There were footsteps here and there that only a human child could make, telling her that she was heading in the right direction.
Her shoulder was still sore from where she had dislocated it, and she felt it now as she flew. She tried to ignore the pain, but it became too much. Her shoulder froze, and she couldn’t extend her wing and, thus, went toppling through the branches of the trees in a harrowing descent toward the ground.
I’m goin’ to die, she thought numbly. But what about Baldric? She crashed through the trees, wincing as sharp branches cut through her feathers. Before she reached the ground, she changed into a squirrel, clinging to the side of a tree with her small claws.
Her breath came out quickly, and she paused to catch it, noticing how quickly her heart was beating. She looked down below and saw how close she had been to landing hard on the forest floor.
I’m fine. I survived, she repeated to herself until she finally calmed down and started believing it. She continued running through the forest, following the boy’s trail until she finally smelled the ocean. It wasn’t too far now.
She came through the other side of the forest and saw the lights from Inverness off in the distance. They were those of early risers getting a start to their morning. But closer to her was the ocean. She could hear the waves that sounded much like the whisper of the wind.
Tara sniffed the ground and continued on her way. She could sense a lot of fairy magic this far north, especially in the forest she had just traveled through, but she could also smell Baldric’s faint scent.
She followed his scent toward the side of the cliff overlooking the ocean, where the trail ended abruptly. Her heart dropped as she looked over the edge at the crashing waves below. Did Baldric fall in? Nay, the ocean was his home. The selkies were probably below, waiting for him. Could he swim? Would the selkies teach him?
Either way, she couldn’t leave him there. She took a deep breath, summoning her courage before she jumped off the cliff. As she fell through the air, she turned into a herring before landing gracefully in the water. As it was dark out still, the ocean should’ve been a murky realm, but Tara was surprised to find that a bright light shone in the distance. She swam toward sit, feeling startlingly natural in the form of a fish.
When she finally reached the light, she found herself transported into an underwater kingdom. There were other fish like her swimming about, but there was also a colony of selkies. It was the first time she had ever seen a selkie in the flesh, and she marveled at how their upper bodies were that of a human, while their lower bodies formed into a large fin with rainbow scales that glimmered in
the luminous and mysterious light of their kingdom.
Tara swam around, awestruck by their beauty. Many of them were gathered in groups, singing melancholic songs in a guttural but strangely beautiful language. Tara had stopped to admire the music before she remembered herself. She was on a mission. She had to find Baldric and bring him back to Colin.
She continued to search throughout the kingdom, going into homes made of coral and listening into conversations, although she did not understand a word of what they were saying. She then wandered into a coral castle and let out a few bubbles of delight as she saw Baldric with a male and female selkie. They were smiling and laughing with him. The woman ran her hands through Baldric’s hair, and the man had a hand on his shoulder.
What was most astonishing to see was that Baldric had fins of his own, not his usual plump, childish legs. He was swimming around the castle with such ease and grace, like he’d been doing it for his entire life.
And he seems to be happy, Tara thought. Is this what he wants?
When Baldric was left to play by himself, Tara swam over to him. He didn’t notice her until she started to swim erratically in front of him to get his attention. Thankfully, he was a bright lad.
“Tara?” he asked.
Tara flipped around excitedly and tried to motion him to come with her. Baldric understood and sighed, looking back at the coral castle before following her out. “Yes, I wanna go back. I miss Da. But it’s so much fun here, too,” he told her.
That will be something he’ll have to figure out sooner rather than later, Tara thought as they scurried toward the portal. The selkies did not notice anything amiss, to her relief.
However, when they neared the portal, Tara heard shouting from behind them and turned around briefly to see a dozen selkies swiftly swimming in their direction. Baldric stopped, too, and stared mutely at the creatures.
Ach, if only I could speak! She swam around Baldric’s head to get his attention and break whatever trance he was in. He finally blinked at her, forcing his attention away from the chasing selkies and nodded. “Alright, Tara,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Charming the Highlander Laird_Highland Warrior_Scottish Medieval Romance Page 14