by Ava O'Shay
Quill shook his head. A lump forming in his throat.
“Tell me. Nothing you tell me could change how I feel about you.”
He dropped his head into his hands. “My fucking around left Ren on her own, and it’s my job to keep her safe. I failed her. I need to remember it isn’t about what I want. It’s about what I am capable of. And currently it seems I’m not capable of keeping my sister safe.” Quill stood up, glanced at Assad, and headed to check on Ren.
“Hey.” Quill peeked in the door. “Is she still barfing?” Ren flipped him off.
Jolin rubbed a five o’clock shadow. “Fifteen minutes. She hasn’t puked in fifteen minutes. And has sipped one sip of water.” He glanced over. “We’re waiting to see if it’s going to come up.”
“Awesome.” Quill slid in and leaned against the door. “A lot of drama going on out there, so I think puke is looking pretty good.”
Ren was curled up in the fetal position. “Who are you drama-ing over?” “Drama-ing?”
“I’m dying. I can make up words if I want.” Her voice was raspy from having a tube shoved down her throat to pump her stomach.
“You aren’t dying,” Quill shot back. A stab of worry cursed through him at the thought she easily could have. “Just twenty questions in the waiting room.”
That got a smile out of Ren, which made Quill extremely happy. “It’s good to see you smile.”
“What am I missing here?” Jolin asked. “I haven’t been out of the Diaz twin loop that long.”
“Quill is experimenting with a different type of love.” she said. “The guy? You decided to go for the guy?”
Quill shrugged again. “I don’t like living in the box society puts us in.” That got a loud laugh out of Ren and an ‘oh God’ from Jolin.
Quill walked over to the bed and slid a hip up next to Ren. He ran a hand down her side. “How are you doing?”
Jolin stood up. “I’m going to… well, I’m going to leave.”
Ren made a hiccupping sound. Quill jumped up. “Don’t throw up.”
Ren waved her hand. “I’m not going to throw up. Sit.”
Quill settled in the chair Jolin vacated. “Was worried about you.” “I know. I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Ren divert her gaze.
“Ren?” Shit, she knew something.
She closed her eyes and let her head fell back into the pillow. “Brock saved you.” Quill picked at the hospital blanket. “Jesus, has hell frozen over?”
“No. He’s the president of something and is in charge of keeping the guys out of trouble, so when you went missing he went looking and tada… there you were. In a room with some guys. Partially dressed and wieners at the ready.”
“Wieners?” She smiled. “It could have been bad.”
Ren’s eyelids drooped. The purple circles under her eyes stood out against her pale skin. She looked young, vulnerable. “They did a rape kit on me when I was unconscious. Mrs. Daniel asked them to. Just to make sure. It was negative. I want you to know that.” Her green eyes looked at him. It was like looking in a mirror. “I’m okay.”
Quill nodded and looked at the floor. A lump in his throat. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Ren touched his cheek. Her hands were cool. “I’m not going anywhere, and there was nothing you could have done. I’m a big girl. I made a mistake. I know better.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“I was stupid,” she whispered.
“Tell me what you aren’t telling anyone else.” She groaned and turned a little green.
“Are you going to barf? Because I’m out of here if you are.” Quill started to get up. “No.” Ren grabbed his arm.
“Tell me.” Quill felt like he was having the same conversation he just left, except he was on the pleading side, and she was on the refusing to answer side.
“No.” Her gaze shifted, a tell-tale sign she wasn’t being completely truthful. “God dammit Ren.” He slid off the bed and paced back and forth.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I don’t remember anything. “You don’t deserve to be treated like a whore.”
“I was treated like a sorority girl.” She laughed smugly. “Who gave it to you?”
“I don’t remember.” Ren said.
“Did you drink at The Warehouse?” “No.”
Quill stopped his pacing. “Tell me who gave it to you, or I will go over to Brock’s house and fucking kick every person’s ass.”
“Just let it go. I’m embarrassed.” Ren started to cry.
Quill pulled at his hair. He couldn’t handle his sister crying. “Tell me,” he growled. Ren’s shoulders were shaking as she began to fall apart.
“You can’t tell Jolin.” She hiccupped.
“Tell me.” Quill’s body was a live wire. He was going to beat the shit out of someone.
Ren ran a hand under her dripping nose. “I was with the Theta’s.” “I know.”
She looked up at him. “I don’t want you to do anything. You need to leave it alone.” “Tell me.”
“Elizabeth.” “Who?”
“Elizabeth. Jolin’s old girlfriend. She was there. She came over and apologized for last year. A little later Brock brought me a drink from her. He told me she was sending me an olive branch. That I should take it and let the past be the past. I never thought she would drug my drink. I didn’t think she would ever do anything to hurt me.” Ren sniffed. “I remember her taking me upstairs to a room to lay down because I was so tired—I remember the guys and not being able to stop them. She set me up.” Ren broke down into sobs. Quill wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her it would be okay, but he was going to explode and needed to get out. The walls were closing in.
He gave her a quick hug and muttered, “I got to go.” “Quill don’t.” Ren grabbed his arm.
Quill tugged his arm away and walked out of the room.
Ren’s weak voice haunted him as he made his way out of the hospital and to his car. He was going to kill Brock and do whatever he could to bring down Elizabeth.
.thirty-two
Quill Diaz
November 22
7:00 p.m.
Quill made it to Brock’s fraternity in record time. He was exhausted from lack of sleep and the stress of watching his sister lying still in a hospital bed and wasn’t thinking straight. If he had been, he might have called the police before he struck out on this suicide mission.
Quill burst through the front door screaming. “Brock, get your fucking ass down here.”
A few members converged on the entryway. It was early evening, so the house wasn’t overly crowded with the party crowd yet.
“Who the hell are you?” A guy came up to Quill.
Quill shoved him out of his face. “I’m here for Brock, so move the fuck back.” A few more guys moved into the room.
“He’s our pledge leader. You have an issue with him, you have an issue with us.”
Quill laughed and shook his head. “You’re right, I do have a problem with you. Who the hell do you think you are sticking you dirty ass dick into my sister’s mouth?” On the last word, he went at them swinging.
He didn’t have a chance. One against five was a blood bath. Quill was being held down by three guys when Brock finally made a showing.
“I hear you’re looking for me?” He pulled his boot back and kicked Quill in his already bruised ribs. Quill gagged and turned to the side, puking from the pain.
“You ass. You set her up. Leave her alone. You got what you wanted.” Quill spit on the floor.
“Let him go.” Brock squatted down in front of him.
Quill propped himself up on his elbows. “She did everything you asked. Leave her alone.”
Brock looked almost sorry, but Quill didn’t trust him. “Look Twinkle toes. I didn’t know what was going down, and I let Liz know I didn’t find the situation cool, pulling my guys in, but I warned you. Let me take care of my men. Stay out of it.�
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Quill struggled to his knees, too weak to fight anymore. “Until I see every one of them arrested, I won’t let it go.”
Brock pulled his arm back and punched Quill across the jaw, knocking him out.
-oOo-
Quill had a strange feeling of déjà vu at his surroundings. “Shit,” he groaned. Anna sat at the edge of the bed with a bowl of water and a rag.
“Why am I here?”
Anna smiled. “Found you on the front lawn of the fraternity and brought you home.” “Stalking me again, huh?”
She raised an eyebrow. “I’ll take you however I can get you.”
Quill watched her lick her lips and felt the need to get out all the pain he’d accumulated in the last hours. The minute he’d felt content, his world fell apart.
Anna leaned forward and kissed him. Quill winced at the pressure on his sore mouth, but as her tongue traced his lips, he gave in. Cupping the back of her head, he pulled her into him. He needed her to let him have her however he wanted. To control her. To get some sense of grounding after all the crazy.
Anna seemed up for the challenge. She pulled away, shucking off the T-shirt she was wearing. There was no need to remove any other items of clothing because she was naked underneath.
“Good Lord,” he mumbled.
Quill didn’t want this. His heart told him to stop. To find the people offering him comfort and turn away this girl only offering a quick fix. But this was his way. This was all he deserved.
Anna helped him up. Taking his hands, she led him to a chair in the tiny living room.
Looking back at him with an evil grin, she leaned over the arm of the chair, her ass facing him. Her pussy ready and waiting for him.
Quill wrapped an arm around his middle. He felt like he was falling apart. “Condom,” was all he got out.
Anna turned around, flopping into the chair and held up a condom. With the crook of her finger, she instructed him closer. Quill shook his head and held out a hand. “No. I’ll do it.”
With a shrug, she gave it to him and turned around again.
Quill rolled it down his length, grabbed her hips and tried to fuck the pain in his chest away.
It didn’t work.
.thirty-three
Quill Diaz
November 25
3:30 p.m.
Quill had been sitting at the table, watching Ren sleep on the couch for the last hour while ignoring a slew of texts from Jolin and Assad asking if she was okay and if Quill would call.
He couldn’t forgive himself for leaving her at the club alone. If he hadn’t been looking to get high and screwing around with Assad, he would have been there. He felt horrible about his time with Anna. In his own demented way, he knew he did it to push Assad away, but at the same time, he prayed he didn’t find out.
Ren groaned and rolled over. She blinked a few times before focusing on Quill. “Stop watching me. It’s creepy.” Her voice was still raspy from the tube they shoved down it when they pumped her stomach. Her hair was a rat’s nest, and she was wearing the same pajamas he’d helped her into three days ago. Quill didn’t have a response that would make him seem less of a creeper. Every time she was sleeping or still, he’d check to make sure she was breathing.
“I’m okay.” She pushed off the couch and shuffled to sit across from him. Grabbing his hand, she squeezed. “I’m okay.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“It isn’t like I can relapse. It was a drug. It’s getting out of my system, and I will be fine.”
“It shouldn’t have happened. I should have been there.” Quill pulled his hand away and rubbed at his face. He hadn’t shaved in two days. His face was a mess and his ribs, if they hadn’t already been broken, were now.
“It shouldn’t have happened, and no, you shouldn’t have. You being with me wouldn’t have done anything but get you beat up sooner.”
“We have to watch out for each other, and I’m always letting you down.” Quill’s voice was thick with emotion.
“You’re my brother not my keeper. I was at a fraternity party. I thought it was safe. I was stupid and wasn’t careful. Shit happens.”
“It seems to happen a whole lot to us.”
She shrugged and pulled a leg up on the chair. “Maybe, but that’s our lot in life.”
Quill put his hands behind his head and leaned back in the chair. “Did it help work things out with Jolin? He was freaking out. Still is.” Quill held up his phone to show her the list of texts on the screen.
Ren’s expression soured. “You shouldn’t have called him.” “I called his mom. He just came along.”
“We aren’t better. Possibly worse since he thinks I’m irresponsible.” She pulled her hair back from her face and wrapped it up in messy ponytail. “Which is why he’s texting you and not me.”
“I think you guys will work it out eventually. He obviously cares about you.”
Ren shrugged again. “What about you and Assad? I hear he was here when Brock dropped in.”
“He was.”
“And?” She laughed.
“I shouldn’t have brought him home. I should have been there with you.”
“God, Quill. It wasn’t your fault. And you can’t follow me around trying to protect me. I need to figure out how to live on my own. Rely on myself and stay out of trouble. You can’t always be there.” She got up and grabbed a glass, filling it with water. “So, what’s the deal? He really likes you.”
Quill rolled his eyes. “Why does it matter?”
Ren took a sip of water. “Because you found someone that really loves you and you shouldn’t take it for granted.”
“There is no love involved in my life.”
“Not if you keep thinking you don’t deserve to have it.”
Quill wrinkled his nose. “Like it worked out so well for you?”
Ren frowned. “I love Jolin. I love him a lot. Enough to let him go. But I don’t regret a minute of the time we spent together.”
“I’m not sure you let him go. I think more so you kicked him out.”
“Semantics. We needed some time apart to see where we were headed. It seems we weren’t headed in the same direction.”
“I don’t believe that.” Quill scooted his chair away from the table. “So what’s the deal with Assad?” she repeated.
“Nothing. I fucked a chick.” “Oh Quill,” Ren sighed. “Don’t.”
“I don’t remember getting to her house. She was there. I don’t deserve what Assad has to offer. I’m an asshole and no matter how hard I try not to be one—I am.”
“You deserve more than a girl who spreads her legs has to offer.”
“They don’t ask questions.”
“Maybe they should. Like what’s wrong with them that they let a guy treat them like that.” She took a sip of water. “And Cori? She’s nice.”
Quill thought before he answered. “She’s my friend. I love her but—it’s not the same… “
“The same as?”
Quill caved. This was his sister he was talking to. The only person who had a clue about his past. She had to keep loving him. It was the law of twins. “Assad.” He ran a hand over his hair, trying to suppress the sad smile just the mention of Assad brought. “He’s incredible.” His smile faded. “But I can’t have him.”
“Oh, Quill. Don’t sabotage something good,” she said softly. “You can have anyone you want.”
“And you can’t? You want Jolin, but you won’t let yourself have him.” “It’s different.”
Quill threw up his hands. “How in the hell is it different?” “We aren’t together because he’s better without me.” “Exactly!”
Ren let the word settle before speaking again. “You were amazing the other night. At the club.”
“Yeah. It was fun.”
“When are you preforming again?”
Quill hesitated. He was supposed to meet the band at a recording studio downtown in the next few days to do some demo w
ork. Simon mentioned his record label was interested in getting them a small tour around the coast to get exposure for them. Quill hadn’t confirmed if he’d be there on not. Depended on if he could convince Jolin to come over and watch Ren.
Ren leaned against the counter. “Do not tell me you aren’t playing anymore because of me?”
“Jesus Ren.” He hated when she used her twin powers and knew what he was thinking. She smacked Quill in the arm. “Please tell me I’m wrong.”
“Don’t fucking hit me.” He rubbed his arm. “You think you’re so smart.” “I am.”
Quill shook his head. She’d find out soon enough. “We’re supposed to meet up this week at a studio. A producer guy thinks his label might be interested in us going on a little tour later in the year. But I won’t go.”
Ren hit him again. “What do you mean you won’t go?” “I’m not leaving you here alone.”
“I’m not letting you give up this opportunity because of a few assholes. You got to go.”
Quill hopped up and pushed her lightly away from him. “Stop hitting me, and I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are.” She trotted after him.
Quill turned on her. His voice shook as he pointed at her. “You don’t understand what happened. You might have died. It looked like you were dead. I thought you were dead. You are all I have, and I am not leaving you.”
Ren looked surprised at his rant then carefully wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you. It’s always been us,” she spoke in his ear. “But this is too good to give up.” She stepped back. “Quill, you are special. You always have been, and whatever shit came at you? You always bounced back. You have a gift. Share it. I’ll be here when you get back. Or maybe when you hit it big, I can be your personal assistant or fashion advisor. We’re twins. You’ll never be able to get rid of me completely.”
Quill gave her a small smile, but didn’t commit to joining the band. When Assad found out about his past, he wouldn’t want him anymore. The only hope he had was to keep his past where it belonged, in the past.
“What about school?”
“That’s just it. I’d have to drop out. You did too much work to get the scholarships. I don’t want to waste it,” Quill said.