She looked away, slightly embarrassed by his compliment. “So?”
“So? That’s not a response. I’m telling you, you’re pretty. You should try not to hide that from everyone.”
“Why do I care what everyone thinks?”
He laughed as he spat back at her. “You just spent ten minutes telling me you did! That you didn’t understand why you’re the one everyone picks on. You can’t now say that you don’t care.”
Megan kicked the floor. “So maybe I do care, but I can’t actively allow myself to care. I’ll go crazy. I’ll explode. Do you know the things people say, everyday?”
“I do.” He nodded, slowly.
“Well, of course you do, because you do it too.”
“Don’t act like you’re all innocent.”
“Excuse me?” Megan arched her eyebrow.
“What was that today?”
Evan raised the pitch of his voice, attempting to imitate her. “I made him confront uncomfortable feelings, so he makes fun of me, so he doesn’t have to face those feelings.”
“Well, it’s true isn’t it?” Megan lifted one shoulder in a half shrug.
“Why would that be true?”
“This all started because I asked you if your mother had died.”
“You didn’t ask. You told me.” Evan furrowed his brow.
“Same difference.”
“It’s not.” He almost stood from his chair, but stopped himself. “Have you ever thought that’s something that might be personal, and not something that I share with just anyone, so having you blurt it out like that was…” He stumbled over his words as he looked to the ground. “Well, it was just wrong.”
The alarm sounded yet again. The third session was over.
Reset.
Chairs moved.
Silence.
“I’m sorry, Evan.”
And the alarm. The fourth session was over.
“I like your tie. Are those ducks?” Megan smiled at the bright colors.
“They are ducks.” Evan slid the silk through his fingers and looked down at the design. “It’s actually a child’s tie. That’s why it’s so short.”
“And also why there are ducks on it?” She teased.
“Well, that too.” He half smiled back.
“And here I thought you were wealthy, but now I find out that you can’t afford a new tie.” Megan continued to jest.
Evan rubbed his lips together. “My mom bought this for me.”
“Oh.” Megan squeaked out, knowing she had yet again crossed a line.
But Evan looked up at her and nodded his head.
“I don’t know why I’m so touchy about it. It was so long ago.” Evan quietly debated with himself as he reset the clock.
“That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t still hurt.” She tried to console him.
“Enough to kick you out of my room?” He raised his eyebrows.
“That was…a very vulnerable moment. I didn’t handle it correctly.”
“Don’t try to take the blame.” He shot his eyes back to her.
“But I am.” Megan scooted her chair an inch closer. “And I should. I should have been more respectful of your feelings.”
“Are you saying that because I should be more respectful of yours?”
“It’s not like that.” She shook her head.
“Or is it? Is this one of those reverse psychology things?”
“We haven’t gotten to reverse psychology.” Megan started to chuckle.
“You’re smarter than everyone on the planet. You have already mastered that, don’t pretend for my sake.”
Her chuckle turned into a full on laugh. For a brief moment, she realized she was having fun. For the first time in two months, she was enjoying herself.
“No one knows me here.” Megan bit her lower lip.
“And whose fault is that?”
“Okay, so maybe it’s partially mine,” she put on her determined face, as she was about to defend herself, “but no one is trying to get to know me either.”
Evan took a second to himself before speaking. “I don’t know why.”
“You do so.”
“I don’t. I mean, yes, you’re different. You came to the school when everyone was already settled into their ways. But…”
“But what?”
Evan leaned in closer to her, pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen onto her cheek.
“God, Megan, you’re fucking beautiful.”
The alarm rang, which only added to the weightless feeling of Megan’s heart. She caught her breath as Evan excused himself to put the final ten minutes on the clock. She cautiously pushed the chairs up against each other.
Evan smiled as he sat down across from her.
“Was that okay to say?”
Megan couldn’t help but smile back. “Of course.”
Deflecting a bit, Evan chuckled to himself. “You know, it’s always nice to pair a compliment with a return compliment.”
Megan lowered her eyes at him. “Evan, you are beautiful too.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“But not fucking beautiful, huh?” He was teasing her.
She felt her cheeks blush. “You are.”
“Say it.”
“No.”
“Megan, say it!”
“No.”
“Are you really not going to say it?”
“I’m not.”
He teasingly put his head in his hands and tilted his head. “How adorable? You don’t curse, do you?” He smiled as her lips pouted.
“I do.” She fired.
“You don’t.” He fired right back at her.
“Okay, fine. I don’t.”
“But you should.” Evan jokingly pointed his finger at her.
“I shouldn’t.”
“For me?”
“Why would I do anything for you?”
His hands flew up. “Ouch. I thought we were having fun.”
Megan really was having fun. “We are having fun.” She teased. “That doesn’t mean you deserve anything.”
“No? Not even…”
Evan lightly placed his hands on her knees, bringing his face just an inch from hers. Megan shook at his touch, but refused to allow herself to push him away. Her breath quickened with each passing second.
“Not even what, Evan?”
He blew his hot breath into her mouth. Megan’s skin tingled with excitement and anticipation. “Not even…” Evan closed his eyes as he closed the gap between their lips. Megan’s eyes closed with his.
And then the alarm went off.
Megan jumped back, startled and shaken by the sound. “The hour is up.” She quickly announced.
But Evan’s eyes were filled with determination. “Fuck it.”
He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her lips into his. He tasted her lips, her breath, and her tongue. He pulled her onto his lap, cradling her petite frame in his capable arms. He wanted to push her to the floor, up against the wall, throw her onto the bed, and have his way with her, but in that moment, he was happy to settle for that one passionate kiss.
Together, they slowed their lips, their breath, and their tongues, eventually finding themselves staring into each other’s eyes.
Evan pushed that same strand of hair back out of Megan’s face. “That was one hell of a psychology assignment.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Nothing changed, and yet so much changed. Evan and Megan’s relationship was a secret, which was neither requested nor argued by either party, but accepted, as everything they did had a hint of excitement attached to it.
Nods in the hallway…
Winks in the cafeteria…
Little brushes of their hands as they passed each other in class…
It was intoxicating, exhilarating, and they couldn’t get enough of it. Megan caught herself smiling in the middle of class. Evan fantasized through football practice.
…
“Megan, there’s a problem with the heat in your room?” Evan posted himself in the doorframe.
“I…I don’t believe so?”
“Well, I should still check on that for you.” He winked and smiled his devilish smile as he shut the door behind him and pushed her books off her bed.
…
“Evan? You wanted to see me about a noise complaint you received?”
“A noise complaint?”
“Or maybe a noise complaint you’re about to receive?” Megan bit her lip as she jumped on top of him, straddling her legs around his hips.
…
“Megan? You requested a meeting?”
She giggled and shook her head. “Get in here.”
After awhile, they didn’t know if they were making up the excuses to keep up pretenses, or if they were just doing it for themselves, but it didn’t matter. They loved every second of it, and had no intention of stopping their games.
“Are you going home this weekend?” Evan rolled over to Megan and slyly placed his hand on her belly.
“For Christmas? Of course. Are you?”
“My dad is coming up to my uncle’s, so I’m staying in town.” He slid his hand under her sweater, feeling her soft skin on his fingertips.
“What are you doing, sir?”
“My hand is cold.” He gave her his best puppy dog eyes.
“It’s actually quite warm.”
“Because you warmed me up.” He lifted his cheeks in a seemingly innocent smile.
“Mmmm hmm.” She raised her eyebrow at him. If he wasn’t so adorable…
He took it as a hint and lowered his lips to hers as his hand slowly moved up her body. She accepted his kiss, allowing her body to be swept away with his. She fell under a spell when she was around him. She wanted so badly to completely let her guard down and give in to her desires, but deep down, she knew better.
“Evan…”
“Please?”
“Are you begging me?”
He began to whine. “Can I just touch one? Just one?”
“This is such a turn on.” She sarcastically remarked.
“Hey!”
She smiled as she brought her hand to his cheek. “Not now.”
“Kissing is fun and all…” Evan pouted.
“Well if you’re getting bored, we can stop.” She coyly threatened.
“No!”
“Then…”
“Fine, we can keep kissing.”
She took his lips with hers, softly biting on his lower lip. She then pushed her hips into his, unable to control her own carnal instincts.
“Megan…”
“What?” She widened her eyes, knowing exactly what she was doing.
He simply shook his head and softly planted a kiss on her forehead. “Where did I find you, GF?”
“Come on, I haven’t said anything smart for at least five minutes. Why the Genius Freak name calling?”
“Neh, GF stands for girl friend this time.” He said with an endearing wink.
He quickly kissed her lips, her cheek, her jaw, and her neck before he jumped out of her bed, having to take a few breaths to try to calm himself down before he left.
“You okay?” She sat up on her elbows.
“Of course I’m not okay.”
“Anything I can do?”
“You know there are a few things you can do.” He took a step toward her.
Her hand shot up to stop him. “Anything I’m willing to do?”
He stilled, knowing he wasn’t going to get his way. “Not today. Not today.”
He moved to the door, but stopped suddenly just as he put his hand on the knob. “Come to my party.”
“What?” Megan didn’t know what he was talking about.
“My brother and I throw a Christmas party every year at my uncle’s place. It’s tomorrow night. Come.”
“Evan…”
“Don’t ‘Evan’ me, just come.”
Megan was, of course, thrilled to get the invitation, but still wasn’t keen on hanging around the student body of The Valley School, especially in a party setting. Sure, things had gotten better: the whispers weren’t as loud, the jokes weren’t as crude, and the hits weren’t as hard. But she still didn’t feel as though she belonged. Evan also hadn’t been standing up for her around his friends. As their relationship was still a secret, he would casually laugh and point at her, just as they did. The only comfort was she could see in his eyes that it hurt him to do so.
He was still choosing his friends over her, and she knew that. Because of that, she made sure he knew he wasn’t her top priority as well. It hurt them both, and yet they never spoke of it.
“And what would I do at your party? Everyone would wonder what the heck I was doing there.”
“I was thinking…” Evan ran his fingers through his hair, piecing together what he was about to say. “I was thinking we could tell them.”
“Tell who what?” Megan shot up, setting her feet on the ground.
“Everyone. We could tell them about us.”
“Have you gone mad? It’ll ruin you.”
She stood, meeting him.
“Whoa, what? I thought you’d want this.”
“I’d want what?”
“To be accepted. If people know you’re with me, that will happen.”
She shook her head. “So people could say that’s the only reason I’m dating you?”
“Who would say that?” He took a step closer to her.
“I don’t know. They say everything else.”
“Well they don’t say it about me. With me, you’re safe from them.”
Megan turned away. “Who do you think you are?”
“I can’t keep up this little charade. I can’t keep pretending I don’t care about you.”
She pushed him away. “You seem to be doing just fine.”
“It’s killing me, Megan.”
“Well that’s just too bad.”
He lowered his voice. “Why are you getting so upset?”
“Seriously?”
“I just thought…”
“Well stop thinking.”
“Whoa, okay.” He took a second to see if she’d retract, but she didn’t. “Fine.”
Evan pushed his way out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Megan wanted to immediately chase after him, to apologize for her craziness, but she stopped herself.
Maybe it was her dream to be accepted four months earlier, but she had gotten comfortable. No one knew her and she knew no one. She could focus on her studies, and when the year was out, she would be fine commuting back and forth from her mother’s home. No attachments.
But if her relationship with Evan got out, she would be forced into a clique, she would be forced to make friends, and to form connections. Then, what would happen when they inevitably broke up? Would she be an outcast again? Would she be forced back to the bottom of the social ladder? Could things possibly be even worse than they were now if that were the case?
No. She needed to protect herself and not rely on the protection of a boy who might be as fleeting as the springtime. She needed her independence.
So why didn’t she just tell him that? Why did she force him out of her room? Why didn’t she just agree to go to the stupid party if they promised to keep their relationship a secret?
Megan wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed a book from her nightstand. She opened the cover and flipped to her bookmark. Just as she was about to begin reading, she heard a small knock, and a piece of paper slipped in her room from under the door. She stood, retrieved the note and began to read.
If you change your mind, here’s the information…
He really wasn’t such a bad guy. Why was she punishing him?
CHAPTER SIX
She didn’t need to knock, as the party was in full swing when she arrived. Megan had lived in that small town of Vermont her entire life, but had no idea a house of such magnificence stood no more
than fifteen miles from her own shabby home.
It was a giant, modern log cabin, with windows at least twice the size of her own body. The entry way housed a massive chandelier, which could easily have lit the entire home.
Around her she saw so many recognizable faces. People were dancing, singing, drinking, and eating. They were celebrating: they were happy. Maybe fitting in wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell everyone that she was Evan’s GF, his girl friend.
“Why hello, pretty lady.”
Megan turned around, intrigued by the familiar, yet strange voice. The voice was accompanied by a face that was also familiar, yet strange.
“You must be Darren.” She ventured a guess.
“Gorgeous and psychic! How do I not know you?”
Megan chuckled to herself. He was obviously drunk, but entertaining. “I’m Megan. I’m a sophomore.”
“A sophomore? So you know my brother?”
“I do.” She politely nodded.
“Be honest.” He slung his arm around her shoulder. “Who’s better looking?”
He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes, jokingly trying to make himself more attractive.
“Darren, what are you doing to my favorite student?”
That was a voice she definitely recognized. She turned around, slipping from Darren’s grip.
“Dr. Covington.”
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