MENDING FENCES

by Brooke Williams

  "I learned nearly everything I know about the community from my father," Eldon continued. "I looked up to him and took any advice he gave almost as if it came right from God," he paused taking another deep breath. Maria could see he was through the easy part of the story. This is where things took a turn and she would find out what really happened.

  "You know I went out on Rumspringa myself and I came back and quickly got baptized. I had every intention of staying with the community until my dying day. I even hoped that I would find a woman and marry within a few years," Eldon paused, glancing at Maria.

  "When my sister went out on rumspringa the very next year I could tell my mother was having a hard time of it. God only gave my parents the two of us and my sister was her baby. Seeing that she was growing up was rough. After she left I found my mother crying one afternoon and since my father was in the fields I took it upon myself to comfort her. I hugged her tightly," Eldon stopped, looking off into the distance before starting again. "She squealed in pain and drew back and at first I thought I had hugged her too tightly and hurt her somehow. But I hardly touched her and I could just feel something in the air, you know? Something was wrong."

  Maria knew what he meant. She felt that way often right before one of her family members took ill. Something was just off.

  "Anyway," he said, wiping his palms against his pants, "I did what I needed to do and I asked. She was hurt and my spirit knew it so I asked. First I asked if she was okay and she told me that she'd be fine in time. That told me that she was indeed hurt like I suspected. Then, I took it a step farther and asked her how she was hurt and what had happened. If I hadn't asked that question...my whole world would likely be different today."

  Maria understood what Eldon was saying. It was against the Amish way to lie. His mother was a devoted member. When asked a direct question, especially by a male member of the family, she would have felt as if she had to answer truthfully. She could not ignore what Eldon asked and, if she wanted to please God, she could not lie either. Maria leaned a little closer to Eldon. She could almost hear his heart besting faster as he told his tale.

  "My mother informed me that she had a broken rib and that it had been caused by..." Eldon’s shoulders heaved and Maria thought he was about to cry, "by my father," he finished. "Something about the wash not being right. I don't know," he shrugged. "That part doesn't matter. The point is that he hurt her.”

  Maria tried to understand how he might feel finding out that his father injured his mother. Maria knew that she would have been devastated. Her father was very important to her, but her mother meant the world to her. She never wanted her to experience any harm, especially from her own husband.

  "What did you do?" she asked quietly, wanting to put her hand in his to comfort him but holding herself back.

  "I asked more questions that I didn't really want to hear answers to," he said, taking the initiative and placing his hand over hers. Maria felt his fingers wrap around her hand. He squeezed his hand closed and she knew he was taking comfort in her presence and nothing more. "I asked her if it had happened before and she couldn't even look me in the eye. She just nodded."

  Maria was in shock. She hadn't really crossed paths with Hank much but he seemed like a good man. Hitting his wife once might have been an accident, but multiple occasions? There was no excuse.

  "My mother had become very good at hiding things. And the dresses you all wear can hide a lot."

  Maria wondered how many times she had encountered the woman when she might have had bruises within an arm’s length of Maria without her ever knowing. She squeezed Eldon’s fingers to encourage him to continue.

  "She begged me not to say anything to my father, but I felt like I had to. He had given up his place as the righteous man in the house. If it had happened before, it would happen again.”

  Maria dreaded what came next. She feared for Eldon’s mom as well as for Eldon himself. Hank was big and strong and based on what she'd heard so far, he was used to getting his way.

  "I called a family meeting and I confronted my father. My mother shrank inside herself. It was as if she got smaller before my eyes. When I accused my father of his wrongdoings I told him he needed to atone for his sins. He needed to speak to elders in the church and repent. Before he could admit or deny anything, my mother came out of nowhere in his defense. She grew out of her chair and rose up right in front of me. She told me that she had forgiven him and there was nothing anyone else could say on the matter.”

  Maria knew the Amish were supposed to forgive, but she also felt an apology was in order in this situation before Eldon’s mother could issue such forgiveness. It sounded as if Hank had issues and those needed to be dealt with.

  "My father sat silent for a long time as my mother stared me down. When he finally chimed in he told me that I needed to issue forgiveness and that if I did not, I would be going against our ways. I couldn't believe my ears. Not only was he not apologetic but he was asking me to forgive."

  Eldon brought Maria's hand up to his face and held it against his forehead. "I should have known then I was sunk. After a few days of silence in our family home an elder came to me and said that I was being accused of disrespecting my parents because of my lack of forgiveness. I believe to this day that the elder didn’t know why. If he did surely he would have gone to my father as well. I didn't feel like I could tell him because that would just be gossip, an even worse offense."

  Maria was starting to see where all of this was going. The elder demanded that Eldon atone for his lack of forgiveness and he would not. The shun was placed on him and things went downhill from there.

  "I thought I could deal with being shunned," he said. "I thought I was doing what was right and nothing else mattered. But I didn't know what being shut out like that would do to me. The people I knew and loved were just gone and I was left with a shell of my old life."

  Maria felt tears well up in her own eyes. She wanted to apologize for the part she played in Eldon’s agony. She wished she would have known the whole truth back then. She surely would have stood by his side.

  "I was stuck," he continued, placing their joined hands on the bench between them. "I couldn't admit to any wrongdoing. But I couldn't forgive. I just couldn't. My father hurt my mother. It was not my place to forgive. But on the other hand," Eldon continued, turning over his empty hand, "I couldn't stand the shun either. It was unlike anything I can even describe."

  Maria nodded. She had no idea how she would react to her family ignoring her. "So you left?" She asked, filling in the details.

  "So I left," Eldon confirmed.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Before Maria realized what she was doing, she had thrown her arms around Eldon’s neck and was hugging his cheek against hers. His story was so sad and she didn’t envy him anything he had gone through. He had been separated from his family through no real fault of his own. She didn’t know what she would have done had she been in his position, but she hoped she would have been brave enough to act in a similar manner.

  “I can’t believe it,” she said, pure awe in her voice.

  “I know not very many people outside our family knew the whole truth,” he said, tightly holding her back as she clung to him.

  “How do you survive?” Maria asked, pulling back enough so she could look at him.

  “What do you mean?” he questioned.

  “Out here,” she clarified. “How do you make it out here in this world?”

  “Well,” Eldon said, keeping his hands on her shoulders. “At first it was one day at a time. Sometimes even one hour at a time. But I’ve gotten used to the ways of this world a bit more. It definitely takes time and I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’ve adjusted. I think the hardest part is that I still miss my family.”

  “Do you ever think about going back?” Maria asked with a frown. Eldon deserved another chance with the community and if it was really where he wanted to be, he should be there amongst his people.

&n
bsp; “All the time,” he said. “It’s a big part of why I was so excited when I ran into you. That and it was genuinely good to see you.” Eldon paused and lifted one hand from Maria’s shoulder to stroke a strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear. “I meant what I said, Maria. You really are beautiful.”

  Maria blushed. She didn’t know if Eldon was trying to take the conversation off of himself and his hardship or if he was really transfixed by her as he appeared.

  “Th-thank you,” she stuttered, wanting nothing more than to jump up and cross the room to get away from his stare.

  “I know it’s hard for you to understand since you are just out on Rumspringa,” he went on, putting his hand back on her shoulder, “but one of the things this world has taught me is how to appreciate beauty. I have learned that life is short and you have to appreciate everything for what it is worth.”

  Maria had never looked at anything in terms of beautiful or ugly. Everything under God’s creative touch had a sense of beauty to it, even if it was not normally thought of as beautiful by most people. She wondered if that was what Eldon was saying about her.

  “You,” Eldon continued, “radiate beauty, Maria. And I’m not just talking about your appearance, though you are not lacking in that department.” Maria lowered her eyes. She needed to stay humble. “I’m talking about the love that shines from your eyes. It’s as if I can see straight through to your spirit. You have a beautiful spirit, Maria.”

  When described that way, Maria was much more comfortable with his compliment. He thought she was beautiful on the outside, but he was saying that he appreciated her interior beauty even more.

  “I’m just so sorry for what you have gone through,” Maria said, trying to take the focus off of her. “No one deserves to have their family turn their back on them like that. Especially for something as brave as what you did.”

  “I’m not sure what I did was brave,” Eldon said. “I never told anyone what my father did.”

  Maria stood and paced a few steps. “You couldn’t!” she proclaimed. “That would have been gossip and you know the teachings.”

  Eldon nodded. “That’s why I didn’t. But part of me wonders if I had gone to the elders and explained, if things would have turned out the way they did. Maybe it would have been my father who had been put under the shun. Maybe it would have been him that felt the need to leave instead of me.” Eldon shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. He’s gone. I can’t very well go back to the community and spread ill will about him now. He isn’t there to defend his honor. And I don’t want his reputation tarnished, as silly as that sounds. He’s not there anymore to hurt my mother and knowing that gives me enough peace.”

  Maria felt torn. She could tell that Eldon wanted to go back and try to make amends in some way or another, but he was in an impossible situation. She decided that she would pray on it and see if she received any answers that might help him. In the meantime, she wanted to hear more about his work.

  “Can you show me how you do some of this?” she asked, gesturing to the tables and chairs that littered the shed’s space.

  “Absolutely,” Eldon said, looking glad that she changed the subject.

  Maria spent the next few hours watching Eldon shave tiny pieces of wood off tables, chairs, and other items so that they were smooth and exactly to his liking. He worked quickly, but with a precision Maria knew was God given. He was doing what the Lord wanted.

  Maria took leave around lunchtime so that she would not distract Eldon any further. She wanted him to be able to work in peace and she needed some time on her own to think and pray. She promised him that she would return the next day so that they could catch up even further and she had every intention of doing so. She was out in the world to experience as much of it as possible so she could then commit herself to the community with her eyes wide open. But now that she was out here, all she wanted to do was be with Eldon. The way he made her feel was unlike anything she had ever felt before and she knew that if she only enjoyed that one emotion while she was outside, it would be enough learning to satisfy her.

  As Maria strolled down the sidewalk toward her hotel, her prayers came earnestly. “Lord,” she prayed under her breath, glancing in shop windows as she did so, “please be with Eldon. It seems that he is doing what he was meant to do, but he is so displaced. Help him to reunite with his family. Guide me in any way you see fit to allow your will to be done in his life.”

  Maria wanted nothing more than what was best for Eldon. If staying on the outside was really what his life needed, so be it. But if he was meant to be within the community, maybe there was something she could do to help him mend fences. She had to be careful, though. She didn’t want to let his secret out. He hadn’t wanted to gossip about his father and she wasn’t going to either. Even if what the man had done was reprehensible. She understood Eldon’s side. His father was gone. Spreading bad memories of him wasn’t going to help.

  If Eldon was able to return, he could really help the furniture business within the community. His skills were far above those she had seen in the shop there and with the community stamp on the items, they would be worth more in the outside world. Plus, who knew, perhaps he and Maria would remain friends and even see fit to marry someday.

  Maria stopped in her tracks on the sidewalk. Had she really just thought of Eldon and marriage at the same time? It was the first time she’d thought of anyone specific when she was considering her future husband. She smiled. Eldon was a fine man and would make a wonderful husband. Maria stopped herself as her smile faded. Eldon lived here. She lived there. That was enough to put a stop to any consideration she might have.

  Maria continued her prayers as she arrived at the hotel and had lunch in the little café. She then returned to her room and spent the afternoon on her knees. She tried to keep her mind off of her specific thoughts regarding Eldon and pray only for his situation. It didn’t matter what she was thinking or feeling. All that mattered was what was best for Eldon.

  By the time supper rolled around, Maria’s knees ached and her whole body was worn out from the day. She hadn’t been on her feet baking and serving all day, but she’d been stretching herself in other ways…ways her body was not used to. Instead of going down to the café to dine, Maria crawled into bed. She wanted to get a fresh start in the morning and see if God had sorted anything out for her yet. With all of her prayers, she felt it was only a matter of time.

  CHAPTER TEN

  The next morning, Maria grabbed enough breakfast at a nearby bakery to feed a small family and headed straight for Eldon’s shed. Eldon was already there and the way his eyes lit up when she arrived let her know how pleased he was to see her.

  “Maria!” he exclaimed, putting down his tools and rushing over to greet her.

  “I brought you some breakfast,” she said, holding out the bag from the bakery.

  Eldon took the bag and peered inside, sniffing the air. “Thank you, I’m famished! I rushed right over here this morning. I was up late last night, I had this inspiration for a new line of furniture. I can’t wait for you to see it once I get it into form.”

  “Is it okay if I sit with you for a while? I don’t want to interrupt your work. I’d just like to watch.”

  “I’d love the company,” Eldon agreed. “Stay as long as you’d like. I don’t often get to chat while I work. It’s pretty solitary and, as you know, that’s not exactly what I’m used to from my past.”

  Maria stationed herself on a bench near Eldon’s worktable and chatted with him for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon. They talked about the town and what the stores had to offer. They chatted about religious topics such as how God revealed himself to them for the first time. For Maria, it had been in church. Eldon felt God’s spirit first in the community workshop as he was creating his first chair.

  The next few days went by in a blur. Maria forgot about the things she wanted to learn and see in the town and simply visited the bakery and to
ok breakfast to Eldon’s shed. Sometimes, they would walk somewhere nearby for lunch and other times, they would simply eat the leftover breakfast items. Maria would leave in time for supper and eat that the hotel café or simply return to her room, too full from the day’s items to eat at all.

  After a week went by, Maria had hardly even noticed that she was spending more time on Rumspringa than she ever imagined. She initially thought she would give it a couple of days and then go home. The topic rose up in her mind when Eldon asked about it on the morning that marked her one-week point in the outside world.

  “When will you go back?” he asked quietly as he sanded the top of a table.

  “Go back?” Maria asked, so far removed from the idea that she wasn’t even sure what he was asking at first.

  “Home. To the community. To be baptized and to join,” he said, sanding methodically and not looking up at her as he did so.

  Maria hesitated. It had been the first time she’d even thought of home in several days. She couldn’t believe that it had taken her so little time to get used to the world and to forget her own. Though she wasn’t exactly out in the real world. She was still sheltered in this small shed with Eldon.