Mom walks up behind Dad and smacks the back of his head. “Stop that, George. You’re making Josie blush.” She walks in front of Josie and brings her in for a tight embrace. To the rest of the world, Josie looks fine. But I see the way she stiffens, even as she hugs my mom back.
I move my hand to the bottom of Josie’s back, hoping the knowledge that I’m close will help settle whatever is scaring her. She tilts her head to meet my eyes and gives me a remorseful smile. A silent apology for not burdening me with her pain. I’d rather take on all the terrors of the world than let her suffer one minute of pain alone.
Until she tells me she doesn’t need me anymore, I’ll always be here for her.
“No need to hit me for it,” Dad grumbles, rubbing the back of his head. “Not like we all haven’t caught them at some point.”
This time, a laugh bubbles out of both Josie and me—something genuine despite the tension burning in the pit of my stomach. Mom rolls her eyes, and Josie’s Dad clears his throat from the other side of the room.
“Better watch it, Dad. Mom’ll kick your ass to the couch if you don’t stop,” I say, guiding Josie closer to the dining room and toward Tony.
He catches my eye and an understanding flickers between us. Will used to call him clueless about what was really happening around him, but I’m finding that he understands much more than he lets on. He knows something’s wrong, and he knows to keep the mood light for Josie’s sake.
Dad and Mom follow close behind, each carrying steaming, aromatic dishes from the kitchen.
“Mom loves to snuggle too much to let me sleep on the couch.”
“Get a dog, Mom.”
She places the mashed potatoes and fried chicken in the middle of the table. “I love your dad too much, son.” She straightens and kisses my cheek. “You know how that is, though.”
I look down at Josie who’s eyeing the corn on the cob like she might not share with anyone else. “I do, indeed.”
“You know, I miss you guys living here,” Mom says, taking her seat across from us. “Josie, put some more of those potatoes on your plate. You’re too skinny. Eat more.”
I bark out a laugh. “Ha! Josie eats like a freaking elephant. Especially lately.” Josie punches my thigh underneath the table and I grab her hand before she pulls away, running my thumb over the top of her soft palm.
“She gets that from her Daddy,” Tony says.
“And she’s got your gorgeous hair, too,” George chimes in, pointing to Tony’s bald head.
Tony huffs, but a smile sneaks through. Tony and Will used to love bantering over which of their traits Josie has. In truth, Josie has always been exactly like Will. The stubborn look he’d give Tony when he wasn’t getting his way. His short stature and slim figure. The shape of his eyes and the gloss of his dark-brown hair.
“We miss being here too, Gayle,” Josie says before Mom can open her mouth and question my earlier insinuation.
“Don’t let her fool you, Josie. She doesn’t miss the smell of bleach,” Dad pipes in, leaning across the table to grab a fried chicken thigh, leg, and wing.
Mom slaps his hand and puts the chicken back on the plate. She points to the plate of three lonely pieces of grilled chicken. “That’s for you. You know better, George Montgomery.” She’d die if she knew he snuck fried food behind her back almost every day. The old man listens to me even less than his wife. Turning to face Josie and me she says, “And I would take the burning of my retinas from catching you all over this property, if you ever wanted to come back home.”
“Oh, come on,” Tony says, dropping his fork.
Josie chuckles and I grin. “Yeah, come on. He might be the only dad on Earth who wouldn’t chop my balls off for taking advantage of his daughter so often,” I say.
Tony slices his gaze to me and glares. I turn to Josie and widen my eyes in mock terror. “Oh, shit, Jos. I don’t think my balls are safe any longer. Emergency evacuation plan is now in motion.”
She giggles, tension slowly easing out as she watches our exchange. I can’t do much for Josie, but at least I can make her laugh. At least I can bring a smile to her gorgeous face.
“If this clown is holding you hostage, don’t be afraid to let me know,” Tony says, picking up his fork and taking a bite of mashed potatoes.
Josie leans her head on my shoulder and grins. “Being hostage has its benefits,” she says, a playful glint in her eyes. “Especially when my crazy captor does anything I tell him to.”
“Who’s in charge of who in your house, son?” Dad asks pointing a fork between the two of us.
“Josie’s in charge, Dad. Always.”
“That’s right,” Mom says, nodding her head in approval. She gave me a nice lecture when I asked for the engagement ring to give Josie. Most of it consisted of me being called a dumbass and being told to understand that Josie will always be right.
Dad pushes his huge square glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Three letter word for delusional?” The silence is almost as funny as the look on Dad’s face. Dad throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Mom!”
“Ha-ha. Just for that, no apple pie for you,” Mom says, not looking amused at all.
“Don’t want that sugar-free garbage anyway,” he mumbles, stabbing his pathetic-looking piece of chicken with his fork.
Mom glares at him long and hard—the look I was terrified of getting when I failed a test or got suspended for getting into a fight. “We’ll talk about this later,” she says in a deathly-quiet voice.
Josie’s shoulders shake as she tries to hold her laughter. She knows that look, too. Three words. Skunk in house.
I let go of her hand and wrap my arm around the back of her chair, playing with the dark-brown strands that fall down her back. If we have a baby girl, I hope she looks exactly like Josie. I watch her as she eats her food and I swell with a love so overwhelming, my throat aches in response. The words I love you don’t do it justice. You own me. You’re my lifeline. Still not good enough. Is it possible to love someone too much?
“Josie and I have something we want to tell y’all,” I say, too consumed with emotion to hold this news in any longer.
Josie looks up from devouring her food and raises her brows. We’re doing this now? She’d probably wait until last minute, but I’m too excited to wait. I want the whole world to know that my beautiful, bronzed-skinned girl is having my baby. Everyone falls silent and stares at us. I lean down and kiss Josie’s temple, keeping my eyes on hers. “We’re going to have a baby.”
For a good three seconds, no one makes a sound. Then, my loud-ass mother—I hope she doesn’t wonder where I get it—shoots out of her chair and squeals. She knocks over a chair as she makes her way to us, saying oh my god a good fifty times in the process.
At the moment, I don’t see any fear or anxiety etched in Josie’s features—something I’ve wanted to wipe away since she scared me on the walk to the house.
“Eleven weeks, edging on twelve,” Josie says, trying to answer all the questions my mom keeps asking while being hugged to death.
I turn to Tony, and though he isn’t looking at me, I see the gloss in his eyes. The tick of his jaw as he tries to keep his emotions in check. The haunted look that settles across his face. My chest hurts in response, filled with thick fear that makes it hard to breathe.
The thought of losing Josie just became a hundred times harder to handle. The need to protect her just got a thousand times stronger. Because, however incredibly delusional and unrealistic it makes me look, I never want to live one day without her sharing the same air I am. I never want to face one day of good news and not be able to look next to me and share that excitement with my other half. I never want to live in a world where Josie Sommers doesn’t exist.
Mom, Dad, and Josie get excited over the thrill of a baby and barely notice when I get up and take a seat next to Tony. For a few seconds I don’t say anything and neither does he. He’s not the emotional type, but I’ve seen him
have his highs and lows in the past couple of years. I’ve tried to be there for him the way Will would have wanted me to, and I intend to keep doing that.
When I feel like the moment is right, I hug him the way a comforting son would do for his grieving father. He clasps me back just as hard, the silent sob he cries into my shoulder like a booming earthquake in the dead of night.
“I’m so proud of you, Seth,” his voice rumbles, thick with the sorrow I saw in his eyes. He pulls back and straightens in his chair. “Will would be so happy.”
“Oh, Dad,” Josie whispers from across the table, eyeing our exchange with just as much grief as her father. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think …” Her words trail off as she finishes chastising herself inside her head.
“Your old man’s fine, Jos. Don’t feel bad,” I say, pulling her into my lap when she walks to our side of the table.
“He’s right. You have enough to worry about. Daddy just would have loved to be here for this.”
Josie tenses in my arms. Tony’s trying to help, but I know exactly what’s running through my pretty girl’s head—Will was there when she chose not to have his grandbaby the first time. I tug on a lock of her hair, a tiny distraction to keep her from falling victim to her depressing past.
She leans her head on my shoulder and gives me a thin smile. She’s ready to go—to talk without our parents around.
“You okay?” I ask quietly against her ear. Her eyes search mine, but she doesn’t make a move to answer my question. That scares me more. The resigned sigh I let out blows a chunk of her hair off her shoulder. She presses her lips to my neck and whispers she’s sorry into my skin.
A thump sounds on the table and I look up to see my mom with five different baby photo albums.
“Oh, good god, woman. You did not just bring those out.”
She looks up and rolls her eyes. “Seth Montgomery, I am going to be a grandmother. Give me this moment. You’re my only child.”
“She’s been dreaming of this since we found out we couldn’t have any more kids, son. Let her be crazy in peace,” Dad says, earning a quick kiss from my mom.
“Sorry, Mom. Can we take a rain check on reminiscing about how insanely cute I’ve always been? I have an early shoot, and I’m beat.” My photo shoot isn’t until the afternoon, but Josie would feel bad if I said she wanted to go home.
Disappointment reaches my Mom’s eyes, but Josie gives me a grateful look. I’ll take the way my heart flips when she looks at me like that over disappointing my mom, no matter how awful that sounds.
“Sure, baby.” She turns her attention to Josie. “We’ll make plans for lunch. We can start planning the renovations for your guest room.”
Just what Josie wants: baby tips from her future mother-in-law. I’m about to roll my eyes until I see the genuine excitement in Josie’s eyes.
“Yeah. That’d be awesome. I’ll text you and let you know what days I’m free.”
For every moment she likes to relish in embarrassing me or butting into my business when she isn’t needed, I’m suddenly struck with gratitude for my mother—someone who has taken in my future wife like a daughter and made her feel accepted and loved in a way she’s been missing since her dad died. Before we walk out the door, I hold my mom a little longer and tighter.
The warmth we felt in the midst of congratulations and celebration of a new addition to the family evaporates as soon as we close the doors to my truck. I look at Josie, but she stares out the window, still refusing to open up. Instead of badgering her, I rest my hand on her thigh and we drive in silence for a stretch of time.
“I need to know, Jos,” I speak up when we stop at a red light, my voice thick. “Don’t shut me out, now. We’ve come too damn far for that.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t even think about how Dad would feel when we announced the pregnancy,” she says quietly, shaking her head and still looking out the window. “Here we are, all freaking happy, and all Dad can think about is how he doesn’t get to share this with Daddy. I’m the worst daughter.”
“Come on, baby.” I knead her thigh before reaching up to touch her jaw. “Tony’s happy. He wouldn’t have wanted you to wait just to spare his feelings.”
Her cheek follows the palm of my hand, seeking comfort. “I know that. I really do, but it doesn’t stop this ache in my chest every time I see Dad on the verge of tears ‘cause he’s missing Daddy.” She leans her head against the headrest and breathes out a shallow sigh. “God, Seth. If I lost you, I don’t think I could function. And Dad’s living that every single day.”
“Sometimes I swear you can read my mind, Jos.” At a stop sign, I brush a lock of her hair behind her ear and just look at her. “It would kill me. I’d welcome death if I ever lost you.”
“I wouldn’t want that,” she says, her voice breaking as this topic gets darker and darker. A horn blares behind us, and we both pull away, not realizing our bodies had been gravitating toward each other in a desperate attempt to cling on for dear life.
I exhale a shuddering breath and reach for her hand, shaken up with fear. “Tell me what scared you earlier.”
“I got a text,” she says cryptically. “Can this wait until we get home?”
“Spit it out, Jos. It’s driving me fucking crazy thinking what could be going on.”
“We should really wait until we’re not driving.”
I pull my hand from hers and hit the steering wheel in frustration. “Dammit, Josie. Just fucking tell me.”
She leans forward in her seat and hides her face in her delicate hands. “I think Michael found me.”
My heart stops a moment. There’s no breathing. No background music to help drown out the roar of the stretching silence. Nothing but the grinding of gears in my brain, thinking of every single way I would like to murder that motherfucker.
“Please tell me he didn’t text you and you waited to tell me until now.” She sends me a guilty look between her fingers, and I slam my fist against the steering wheel again. “Fuck!” I make a sharp left and then a U-turn. “Details, Josie.”
“It may not even be him, Seth. Calm down. Where are you going?”
“What did it say?” My teeth grind and my heart races.
The light of her cell phone screen illuminates the cab. “Shit,” she says under her breath. I thrust out my hand in her direction. She gives me one last pleading look—as if she could calm me down right now—and puts the phone my palm. I pull in front of Tony’s house and look at the message.
Blocked Number: Have you forgotten me? I haven’t forgotten you.
Blocked Number: Can’t wait to get my hands on you again.
Terror settles over the two of us. “You waited to show me this until now?” I close my eyes after she takes her phone back. “Are you fucking kidding me? We knew you could be in danger, Jos, but when you fucking hide it, you’re putting a lot more people than yourself in danger. You have got to—”
“Stop yelling at me,” Josie cries, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t see that second text ‘til now.”
“Like that would have mattered!” I throw my hands up in exasperation. “Wait here. Lock the door behind me. I’ll be back in a sec.”
I get out before she can question me and let myself into her father’s house. I go straight to the closet and grab the bag holding my gun and ammo. Michael set the game in motion. It’s time to stop pretending he isn’t coming after Josie.
For one agonizing moment, I can’t move. I crumple to the floor and can’t catch a breath. Immobile and vulnerable. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to have had our happily-ever-after, as Josie would say. We went through hell to get where we are. Why are we going back?
I should be angry when I feel Josie’s thin arms wrap around me and hold me against her chest. Instead, I cling onto her like I might lose her any second. “Josie, I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you.” My voice cracks over each soft plea I make. With her. With the u
niverse. With whoever will fucking listen and make sure she’s not hurt by that man ever again.
“I’m right here, Sethy. I’m not leaving. I’ll never leave you,” she says in a hushed voice against my hair. I should be the one comforting her. It’s one of those rare moments that I can no longer pretend I have the strength to handle the fear. When I can’t fathom how I will keep myself sane and keep the dark, sarcastic voices from returning and tormenting me. So I let her hold me and hang on to the fragile twine of sanity while it’s still intact.
Despite my efforts, the voice breaks through. You’re so weak. You’re being comforted by the person who is in real danger of be hurt at any moment. The voice laughs. A dark imitation of my own voice. A form of consciousness that only speaks to me when the darkness is too strong.
She continues to hold me, reassuring me with every touch and soft spoken word. I hate that I need this. But I do. I need her holding on to me so I don’t float away.
“I’ll love you forever, Pussycat,” I whisper into the dark room once I’ve calmed down.
“I’ll love you forever, Seth,” she whispers back.
We lose track of time, and Josie falls asleep in the midst of our shared heartache. Eventually, I get up, slide my bag over my shoulder, and pick her up to carry to the truck. She mumbles as I buckle her into her seat, and a hint of a smile shows on her lips when I kiss her. Heat fills my chest and I run my fingers over her cheek as I gaze at her.
I can’t lose her.
Chapter 15
Josie
The tension in the house is palpable. Even on football Sunday, when all our friends come over to root for the Panthers and to play football in the backyard, I can feel the currents of strain between Seth and me.
I feel his fierce protectiveness grow stronger and our connection weaken.
The week before my wedding should be filled with preparations, but I’m limited on anywhere I want to go. Seth tries to keep me confined to the house, regardless of every argument or protest I raise.
That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3) Page 11