“Dallas McClintock, you scared me half to death, you did.”
“Couldn’t do it.” He tried to explain, but the rest wouldn’t come.
“Don’t worry, everything’s fine now. Well, most everything. A lot has happened. I'll tell your aunt you’re awake.”
She leaned over and kissed him on each cheek, then on his lips. “I’ll be right back. Stay awake now.”
In only minutes she appeared with Kathryn and Austin and grabbed his hand again.
Kathryn kissed his forehead. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she smiled. “We were sure you’d be fine, but you didn’t have to test our faith for so many days.”
He looked at his aunt. “How long?”
“Austin and the boys brought you in three days ago. You stared but didn’t say anything and didn’t move.”
Austin said, “We got you up here, and Kathryn gave you some laudanum.”
Kathryn squeezed his hand. “Finally, you closed your eyes and slept, but then you wouldn’t wake up.”
She leaned over and hugged him again. “We were so worried, son. From what I’ve read, you were experiencing battle fatigue like men in the War. Sometimes”—tears threatened again and her lips trembled— “those men never came out of the trance. Like Mr. Sparks down by the river.”
Hell, it all came back. The rustlers, Austin almost hit, Finn firing when it should have been Dallas saving his uncle. Dallas closed his eyes, willing the memories away, but they remained and others joined them. He thought he might throw up, but he swallowed the bile and opened his eyes.
“I saw it all happening again. I couldn’t risk hitting another innocent man. Dear God, I almost got Austin killed.” He looked at Cenora. “Finn’s shot saved Austin.”
Dallas tried to rise, but Kathryn shoved him down. “You can just stay there until tomorrow. Everything’s fine.”
But she looked at Austin and Cenora when she said that, and he knew she lied. What else went wrong?
Austin said, “Papa came to see you, and he sure took it hard, seeing you like a corpse. He brought word the Hotaka Gap sheriff wired indicating the men you shot to save Cenora had not only broken out of jail in Castroville, they were wanted back in Louisiana for murder. You have a reward coming.”
“Son of a gun, how much?”
“Five hundred, supposed to wire it to you care of Sheriff Yates when all the paperwork’s done. Meanwhile, all of your cattle are back, and Reno’s griping so much he must be feeling better.”
In spite of his fears that they hid something from him, Dallas chuckled. “Reno likes to be out on the range.”
Kathryn smiled at him and patted his hand. “No one here will argue with you. The man has used more swear words than I knew existed to describe being confined.”
He wondered what they hid. “Any sight of the traveling folks?”
Austin shook his head. “They’re not far. Mac rode over to see his girl yesterday, but the leader wouldn’t let him into camp.”
Maybe he misunderstood. “What? Mac couldn’t go in camp?”
Austin shrugged. “We’ve not seen them, but that’s what Mac said. You can ask him later.”
Kathryn left, promising to be right back. Austin told him the rustlers were in jail and his cattle back fattening up by the river. Cenora only stared at him and wouldn’t let go of his hand. Kathryn returned with broth and tea.
She kissed his cheek. “Since you’ve finally decided to come back to us, Austin and I will go on home. The boys will be wondering how you are.” She straightened and touched Cenora’s arm. “You’ll let us know if you need us for anything, won’t you?”
“Thank you for staying and helping us.” Cenora sent Dallas a worried look but turned back to his aunt. “Mayhap things will be all right now.”
When they’d gone, Cenora fed him broth.
He reached for the spoon. “I’m not an invalid. I can feed myself.”
She batted his hand away. “Don’t I know that? Let me have me own way this once. ‘Tis your punishment for scaring me near to death.”
When he had finished the broth and tea and used the chamber pot, Cenora plumped his pillows and tucked sheets around him. He had no idea of the time, but the sun had set, and he heard no noises to indicate anyone else stirred in the house or yard.
When she would have stepped away, he patted the bed beside him. “Your place is waiting.”
“Mayhap I’d better sleep in the chair again so I don’t disturb you.”
He tugged her on top of him and buried his face in her wonderful hair. Thank God, she still smelled like roses and sunshine. “Oh, angel, I need you to disturb me, I need it more than you can possibly know. It‘s the only time I’m sane.”
****
Their lovemaking had been tender, sweet. Cenora sensed Dallas needed all she could give him, and she withheld nothing. Now she took her husband’s hand and pulled it to her lips. “Tell me why you had the problem you did. Does it have anything to do with your bad dreams?”
She waited, but he said nothing. She rose on her elbow and saw tears in his eyes. Saints preserve us, what could make him take on so? Leaning close, she brushed her hand on his cheek. “Dallas?”
“I’m trying. Figured my aunt would have told you.”
“No, I asked once, but she said it needed to come from you, so I didn’t ask again.”
“It’s not an easy thing to talk about, or I’d have told you when we first married. Should have said something before we wed because now it involves you, too.”
“Me?” Dear Lord, this sounded bad. This thing that made him freeze like a dead man involved her, too?
His lips clamped in a firm line, and he closed his eyes. When he opened them he scooted his pillows so he sat up against the headboard. She crossed her legs and faced him, cradling his left hand in both of hers.
“It started two years ago. Austin, Josh, and I stopped off at Nederman’s. He’s the attorney in town who handled the paperwork on this ranch. I never drank much until then, but we sat around shooting the breeze for an hour or more having one drink after another to celebrate.”
He took a deep breath. “Ah, I felt great, having my own place. I was king of the world at that minute.”
His skin turned ashen, and he couldn’t have looked any sadder if he were at his best friend’s funeral. “We were ready to leave his place—he has his office in the front room of his house—when we heard gunfire. We rushed out, and people yelled the bank had been robbed. Nederman stayed put, but the rest of us joined the posse Sheriff Yates formed, and we lit out after the robbers.”
“Did you catch them?”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the smooth wood of the headboard. “It was growing toward dark when we came up on a campsite. We rode in close, thinking to ask if the people had seen riders pass. Sheriff Yates called out we were a posse after robbers, but the man stood and fired at us.”
He furrowed his fingers through his hair. “Caught us by surprise. Austin and Yates were at the front, and Yates took a shot in the arm but stayed in the saddle. Austin took a shot that knocked him off his horse. I saw him fall and shot at the man’s hand, thinking to hit the gun before he fired again.”
“But why? If he knew you were a posse and he’d done no wrong, why did he shoot?”
“Turned out he was just over from Germany and didn’t speak much English. He was scared and didn’t know what we said. Dieter Hausmann, one of the posse, recognized the woman’s wailing as German and spoke to her. She said they’d heard tales of how criminals and renegade Indians roamed and Vortmann had vowed to protect her and the kids. Also said her husband forgot what little English he knew when he was upset.”
“You’re the best shot in the county.”
He met her gaze, and she saw the pain in his eyes. How she wanted to soothe him, to crush his head to her breast and croon as if he were a babe. But she needed to hear all of this.
“Dear God, not this time. I missed. My b
ullet hit the man in the heart. He dropped dead on the spot.” He closed his eyes and pulled a hand across his face, as if to wipe away the memory. “An innocent man with his wife and three children just looking for a new start.”
Akh, her sweet man. And him always wanting to do the right thing. How it must have hurt him. No wonder he had bad dreams.
“But didn’t you save me, shooting those two devils with one shot each?”
“Guess that was reflexes or instincts taking over plus you were behind me and not in the line of fire.” He shook his head. “But not with Vortmann. I killed an innocent man right in front of his wife and kids.”
The poor people, she grieved for them. But more, she grieved for this man who carried the burden. “It was an innocent enough mistake, Dallas. You thought but to save your uncle and cousin.”
“But I didn’t. Hell, I was liquored up and killed a man I only meant to disarm.” His head sunk against his chest. “If I live to a hundred, I’ll never forget the sound of his wife screaming or her and the children crying over his body.”
“Akh, so that’s why you never drink now, not even in your own home.”
His jaw hardened. “I’ll never touch another drop.”
“What became o’ the widow and her tykes?”
“That’s one of the things I should have told you. I bought them a house in town and pay their expenses. I pledged to support them until the kids are grown and can take care of their mother. It’s near ruined me, but I owe them that.”
“A house? Near ruin and you bought them a house?”
“Yes, seemed little enough after killing their only source of support. I pay their bill at the mercantile and the butcher. She takes in sewing, but I doubt she earns much.”
“And do you, um, do you visit this woman?” She had to ask and braced herself for his answer.
“No, I avoid her.”
“Never?”
He shook his head and relief swept through Cenora. She could hardly wait to tell her family, especially that spiteful Mac.
“Greta Vortmann hates me, and I don’t blame her. After all, if not for me she’d have her husband and her children their father.”
Wasn’t it like him to bear all the blame? Cenora refused to permit it. “Dallas McClintock, it was her husband shot at you first. The man was likely scared half out o’ his mind, else he would have tried to understand you afore he shot anyone. Would you have felt better if this man had killed your uncle or one o’ your friends?”
“No, of course not.” He frowned, as if he hadn’t considered that view.
“Well, likely that’s what would have happened if you hadn’t stopped him, or someone else would have shot the man instead o’ you. ‘Tis no difference him shooting Austin in error thinking he defended his family than you shooting him defending your family.”
He struck his palm with his fist. “The hell there’s not. Austin and I are alive and Vortmann’s dead.”
“Mayhap it could easily be the other way around. Stop making the man into a martyr and yourself into a devil. You did your best, now ‘tis time to put it behind you.”
He picked up her hand and met her gaze. “It’s not as easy as you think.”
“Have you not taken on the care o’ this family when you have more than enough people to see after? Do you think anyone else would have done as much?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t know.” He shrugged. “It’s haunted me all these months. Then it paralyzed me when I needed my wits. If Finn hadn’t fired when he did, Austin might be dead.”
“Mayhap you need to quit taking on the burden for all the world’s wrongs and think o’ what you’ve done right.”
A tiny smile lit his dark brown eyes. “Come and let me show you what I can do right.” He tugged her to him.
“Aye, there’s time enough for talk tomorrow.” And then didn’t she have a load of bad news to tell him?
****
The next morning Dallas awakened slowly. Cenora had already left the room, and he wondered at that strange phenomenon. Not since they had been together had she ever arisen before he did. He wished for a bath but splashed water on his face and dressed quickly.
Wonderful smells floated through the house, and Dallas’s stomach rumbled with hunger. When he entered the kitchen, his wife looked pert and pretty in her gray dress and white apron. Her auburn hair fell down her back in a thick braid. He took his place at the table, but all talk ceased.
After an awkward moment, Da laid his fork aside. “Weel, ’tis good to see you up and about, boyo?” Da’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. He started to say more but closed his mouth.
Da at a loss for words? Why?
“Thanks.” Dallas grabbed two biscuits and reached for the dish of eggs.
Mac pushed back from the table and grinned as if he waited to see a show.
Finn buttered a biscuit. “Good to see you walking and talking again.”
“Thanks for saving Austin. You’re a good shot.” Dallas ladled fried apples onto his plate. “I miss anything?”
Her brothers and father swiveled toward Cenora.
She wiped her hands on her apron. “Weel, um, a bit. Yes. Some things need explaining.”
Dallas polished off his eggs and dug into the apples. “Yeah? What?”
“Da and I helped Fred in the barn seeing as how the poor man was after doing the work o’ three.”
Dallas laughed. “You both did? I’d like to have seen that. What else?”
“Um, there’s Fred. Dominion kicked Fred, broke his arm and sprained his shoulder. He’s okay, but he can’t do much for a while.”
Dallas paused. Damn, Reno and Fred both laid up. “Who saw to the stock until we got back?”
Cenora took a big breath and looked at her father. “Da and I helped out. Mac, too. Fred told us what to do, um, after he got back from town and all.”
A bird surrounded by rattlers wouldn’t be more nervous than his wife and her kin. What’s happened? Suddenly, he remembered the horse he’d sold to Irv Bateman and the man’s ill temper.
“Did Bateman pitch a fit when I wasn’t here?”
His wife’s shoulders sagged. “No. He started to and said some mean things, but, weel, um, Da and I gave him a horse.” She looked at her lap where she twisted her apron near to shreds.
Dallas laid down his fork. “You gave him Cyclops?”
Da reached out a hand. “Weel, not exactly.”
“What do you mean? Either you delivered Cyclops to him or you didn’t.”
Cenora leaned forward. “It looked the same. All except the little squiggle at the end.”
Squiggle? The woman didn’t make sense. “What?”
Da nodded at Cenora. “Aye, we matched up the letters but I had trouble making out the last part o’ that word.”
A horrible sense of doom dropped over Dallas. He closed his eyes, hoped he guessed wrong. “You sent his horse home with him?” When he opened his eyes, everyone stared at him.
Cenora put a hand on the table. “In a way o’ speaking. We didn’t know you had two horses named almost the same. Weel, there’s Pegasus and Perseus and Parganon and Psyche, but we didn’t know about the C’s.” Cenora looked ready to cry. In fact, she dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her apron.
She lowered the fabric and met his gaze. “Oh, ‘tis hard to tell you this. When Fred came back from town and we told him about that Bateman taking his horse, Fred looked and saw the wrong stall empty.”
Da put his head in his hands. “We didn’t know you had Cyclone and Cyclops and Cereus and all them others.” He dropped his hands to the table. “Weel, ‘tis me own fault, but the man was that impatient. We rushed trying to read all the names and find one that matched the paper. We thought Cyclone was the right one.”
Dallas stared. Cyclone gone? Hell, he’d counted on her as a brood mare. “You let Bateman take Cyclone?”
Mac laughed. “What do you think o’ that, buffer?”
Dallas stood but bef
ore he could answer—or bust the smile right off Mac’s face, Finn silenced the rest of his family with a glare. “Fred told us Cyclone was the one Bateman wanted all along, and you refused to sell her because she carried a foal you wanted.”
“Aye, and shocked we were when we found out what I’d done and how much I cost you.” Da took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead.
Dallas wanted to hit something, someone, but he forced his anger under control. How the hell could he make this place pay with this kind of interference? He cursed fate for saddling him with this pack of ne’er do well misfits. A roar threatened to erupt, but he stifled it and kept his voice even and calm.
“Da, you read. How could this happen?”
His father-in-law shook his head. “I needed more time to study on the words. Takes me longer to study the letters when it’s script than if it’s the newspaper.”
“We asked him to come back, but he demanded his horse right then. He was all rude and blustery and got us both flustered.” Cenora’s gaze pleaded with him. “We wanted only to help, and it’s sorry we are we’ve caused you ruin.”
“Da and I have talked about this.” Finn nodded at his father then faced Dallas again. “We haven’t enough money saved to pay the difference now, but I’ve talked to the man who owns the freight company in town. I can have a job there. I’ll make good your loss out o’ me own pay.”
Dallas held up a hand. “No, Finn. I’ll not have that.”
He faced the others one by one, but neither Da nor Finn would meet his gaze. Mac’s grin dissolved and alarm filled his eyes. Tears ran down Cenora’s cheek, and the sight only caused Dallas more pain.
“Don’t anyone say anything else.” If Dallas didn’t leave now he’d likely explode and bust something or someone—maybe his good-for-nothing youngest brother-in-law. “I’ll figure out how to handle things. For now, just let me alone until I get over this.” He turned and stalked out of the house before anyone delivered more bad news.
He heard the screen door slam and turned. Cenora flew down the steps.
She stopped in front of him and looked up. “There’s more. You might as well know it all, for you’ll hear it anyway soon enough. I need to talk to you. By ourselves.”
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