by Karen Clarke
I could hear the sound of our breathing and the echo of my heartbeat in my ears.
‘Tilly, look!’ I ran over to where Seth was shining the torch. ‘Do these look like paw prints to you?’
I peered to where the beam was pointing. ‘Definitely.’ As I looked around, Jack’s voice zoomed into my head. Dad, can we go to the smugglers’ cave on the beach?
‘I think I know where he might have gone,’ I said.
Seth shone the torch at my face. ‘Where?’
Shielding my eyes, I said, ‘The smugglers’ caves I told you about, when he asked if you could take him there.’
‘You think?’ The hope in his voice was hard to hear.
‘He said he had a map on his iPad,’ I said. ‘Do you know if he took it with him?’
He smacked a fist to his forehead. ‘I didn’t think to look.’ He groaned. ‘Mum’s right. I’m the worst bloody dad ever.’
‘No you’re not.’ I punched his arm. ‘Come on. I know where they are.’ I didn’t add that we needed to hurry as the incoming tide would flood the caves within half an hour, but Seth was already charging ahead, torchlight bouncing. I also didn’t add that he didn’t need it, the moon was bright enough, because I knew he needed to feel he was doing something useful.
‘I should have just taken him that day,’ he said as I caught up. ‘I know I can’t keep him wrapped in cotton wool, but then he does something like this and I want to keep him locked inside forever.’
‘It’s a balancing act,’ I panted, as though I’d had experience. ‘Hardly anyone gets it right all the time.’
‘Are we far away?’
‘Another few minutes.’ I picked up speed so I was almost running, wishing I’d pushed my feet into my boots instead of the sheepskin slippers nearest to the front door. It was a measure of how serious the situation was that no one – least of all me – had noticed until now.
‘It’ll be freezing in those caves.’ Seth was keeping pace, his coat flapping around his knees. It was his purple-lined pea coat, and I thought how incongruous we would look to anyone watching.
‘At least he dressed sensibly.’ Even so, I knew the temperature would be arctic. Those caves were chilly even in summer. I’d explored them once with Dad, ages before I met Cassie and Meg. I’d thought it would be exciting, like in the Enid Blyton books I’d read, but had found them claustrophobic and scary.
‘I’m not going to let Mum take him.’ Seth’s voice had hardened. ‘The set-up we’ve got isn’t perfect, but it’ll get better.’
‘Of course it will.’
‘If anything’s happened to him…’
I caught the sheen of tears in his eyes. ‘Don’t think like that.’ I reached over and touched his hand and he caught my fingers.
‘Thanks for coming.’
‘Let’s just get there.’ A sudden choke of fear rushed up my throat. ‘We can’t be far away now.’
‘Jack!’ Seth called, his voice snatched by the wind.
‘Digby!’ I was rewarded by a distant bark. ‘Did you hear that?’
Seth was already stumbling ahead and, rounding a curve, I realised we were there. The mouths of the caves gaped like missing teeth and behind us the sea lapped closer. I shivered as Seth passed me the torch and cupped his mouth with his hands.
‘Digby!’
A volley of barks echoed back, followed by a wavering cry of, ‘Dad?’
‘Jack!’
‘In there.’ I pointed to the nearest cave.
Seth plunged in and I followed, shooting a hand out to the damp-slicked wall, blinking in the salty darkness. Now we needed the torch, the beam had faded.
‘Jack!’ I yelled. The sea shushed behind us. I estimated we had around fifteen minutes to get out and pressed forward, almost crashing into Seth. One of my slippers came off. I felt cold, compacted sand underfoot, but knew there were stones and rocks further inside the cave.
‘Jack!’ Seth’s shout bounced around us.
‘Dad!’ Jack’s voice broke on a sob. ‘I’ve hurt my ankle.’
‘Hang on, son, we’re nearly there.’ Seth sounded grimly determined now, pushing further into the tomb-like interior.
More barking, closer this time, and a pair of glowing eyes appeared in the weakening cone of torchlight. ‘It’s Digby.’
He lolloped over, pranced in a circle twice, then headed back the way he’d come.
‘He’s doing a Lassie.’ Hysterical laughter rose. ‘He’s leading us to Jack.’
‘I bloody hope so.’ Seth spoke through gritted teeth as he tripped over a protruding rock. ‘Jack!’ he called again.
A ghostly white light appeared. ‘What’s that?’ Seth paused in a half crouch and held up a hand, like a modern-day Indiana Jones.
‘It’s his iPad,’ I said. ‘He must have brought it with him.’
‘Dad!’
Seth clattered forward. ‘I’m here, Jack.’
I lurched behind, stifling a yelp when my foot caught the craggy edge of a rock, and as Seth dropped to hold Jack in an awkward hug, murmuring endearments, I saw that Jack’s ankle was trapped inside a narrow crevice.
‘I was climbing over, so I could get to the dry bit where it’s safe from the sea,’ he said, his eyes like big dark puddles in the bright light of his screen. ‘Digby and me were going to stay here until Grandma goes home, but I fell and my foot got stuck.’
‘Oh, Jack,’ said Seth, stroking his son’s hair. ‘You know I’m not letting you go back to live with her, don’t you?’
‘She might make you.’
‘No chance,’ said Seth. ‘I’m your dad and I love you, and you’re staying here with me.’
‘And he doesn’t mean in this cave,’ I said, relief making me silly.
‘I left a note to say where I was.’ Jack had started crying in little gulps. ‘I didn’t want you to be worried.’
‘I didn’t see it.’ Seth sounded as if he was trying not to weep too.
‘I said not to look for me until tomorrow,’ Jack said, burying his head against Seth’s shoulder. ‘I want to go to the party like Romy.’
Seth kissed his head. ‘And you will,’ he said fervently. ‘I promise you that.’
The sea had reached the mouth of the cave, sloshing gently.
‘We have to go, if we don’t want to be stuck here until the tide goes out,’ I said to Seth.
Picking up on my tone, he looked to where Jack’s foot was stuck fast, his leg twisted awkwardly. He shifted round. ‘OK, buddy, just a couple of minutes and we can go home and have something to eat.’
‘It hurts a bit.’ Jack had stopped crying, his voice wobbly but brave.
‘It’s because you’ve fallen over.’ I bent to take a closer look. ‘He’s at an angle,’ I told Seth. ‘If you can lift him up a few inches so his leg straightens, we should be able to get his foot out of his wellie.’
‘Let’s do it.’
Digby darted back and forth, barking at the water. He was skittish; sensing danger – or picking up on our tones.
‘Try and wiggle your toes,’ I said to Jack, to distract him as Seth slipped his hands under Jack’s armpits and carefully raised him off the ground, so his leg was level with the rock.
‘Ow, ow, ow,’ cried Jack, and Digby rushed to lick his face.
‘Nearly there,’ I said. I nodded at Seth who gave a gentle tug as I held onto the toe of Jack’s boot. ‘Once more.’ The icy water was lapping around my feet now. Seth gave another yank, and this time I felt Jack’s foot move. ‘Again.’
It was heart-wrenching hearing Jack sob, and I sensed Seth’s hesitation. ‘Now,’ I said. He pulled again and Jack screamed as his foot was wrenched from his boot. Digby whined and growled.
‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘We’re done.’ I grabbed Jack’s rucksack and iPad and the torch, which had finally died, while Seth waded through ankle deep water to the mouth of the cave with Jack in his arms. The moon had dipped, but there was just enough light to make out the steps carved in
to the hillside, which I remembered climbing years ago, and Digby led the way to the top where we carried on walking, and didn’t stop until we were back at the cottage.
Chapter Thirty-One
‘I don’t know how to thank you for what you’ve done.’
Felicity faced me across the kitchen table, all airs peeled away. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she kept passing a crumpled tissue across her nose. ‘If you hadn’t remembered those caves…’
‘If Seth hadn’t found him, the police would have.’ I sat down to roll on the clean, dry socks she’d found in the airing cupboard while Jack was in the bath. ‘They would have known where to look, and Digby kept running out of the cave and barking, trying to alert someone.’
‘I take back everything I said about that dog.’
Digby wandered in, as though sensing he was being talked about. He wagged his tail, then picked up his rubber bone and trotted upstairs to where Jack was being tucked into bed by Seth. His ankle was badly bruised but not broken, and thankfully there were no signs of hypothermia.
By the time we’d staggered inside, the cottage had been filled with paramedics and the police, about to call out a search and rescue team, but once Jack had been examined, and the police had determined there was no need for further action, they’d left with hearty wishes for a Merry Christmas, leaving us dazed and slightly euphoric, like train wreck survivors.
‘You know, he’d pushed a note under his father’s bedroom door so Ainsley… Seth would see it when he went to bed.’ Felicity’s voice was barely a whisper. ‘As if he’d have gone to bed, knowing his son wasn’t here.’
‘Children see things differently,’ I said, and finished the mug of hot sugared tea that Felicity had made – the first domestic task I’d seen her undertake. ‘It probably didn’t occur to him the police would be involved. He just wanted to escape for a while.’
‘Because of me.’ Her mouth wobbled around the rim of her mug and she put it back down. ‘What can I do?’
Before I could speak, Seth popped his head round the door, with the look of a man who’d been given a new lease of life. ‘He wants you to say goodnight,’ he said, and when Felicity rose, added coolly, ‘I was talking to Tilly.’
As he retreated her face fell and I felt a rush of pity. Leaning forward, I took hold of her bony hand. It was icy, despite the warmth of the kitchen. ‘I’ll tell you what you can do,’ I said. ‘Have some faith in Seth and drop this custody battle, or you’ll lose them both.’
I left her stroking her pearls, staring wide-eyed into her mug, and headed upstairs. Jack was propped against his pillows, his iPad recharging on his desk. ‘Will it snow tonight?’ He looked hopefully at the window.
‘It might.’ I rested my arms on the side of the bed, careful not to jolt his foot. ‘According to the weather forecast, it’s going to be a white Christmas.’
‘Cool,’ he said, snuggling down, wincing slightly. ‘Thank you for coming to get me out of the cave with Dad.’
I kissed his cheek, breathing in the clean, sandy scent that made my brain go fuzzy. ‘You’re welcome.’
He gave a pleased little smile. ‘Can we come to your house when it’s Christmas?’ he said. ‘I’ve got a present for Romy.’
‘I’m sure that can be arranged.’ I remembered that Chad would be back, and that soon, Bridget and Romy would return to their London home. ‘She’ll be pleased to see you,’ I said, a lump rising in my throat. ‘We all will.’
‘Can Digby come?’
‘Of course he can.’
‘Time to let Tilly go.’ Seth was leaning against the door frame, bathed in light from Jack’s rocket lamp, the curl of a smile on his face. ‘It’s getting late.’
I stroked his hair and stood up. ‘See you at the party tomorrow night, if your ankle’s OK.’
‘Yay!’ He was on the verge of sleep, worn out by his adventure. ‘Can Digby come too?’
‘We’ll find out about that tomorrow,’ said Seth, mouthing no to me as I joined him in the doorway. ‘Get some sleep now, buddy.’
We stood for a moment, until Jack said, ‘Go away,’ which made us laugh and we crept downstairs where Seth helped me into my jacket. ‘Sure you won’t stay and have something to eat?’ He sounded hopeful, and I knew he was facing a difficult evening with his mother.
‘I can’t,’ I said. ‘My parents are back, and they’ll be dying to tell us all about their trip.’ I’d called Bridget while the paramedics were checking Jack, to let her know he was safe, and she’d been expressing her relief, when I’d heard Dad boom, ‘Anyone home?’ and Romy shriek ‘Grampdad!’ and Bridget had said, ‘My god, they’re so tanned you’re going to laugh,’ before hanging up. ‘Maybe you and your mum can have a civilised chat.’
‘I’ll try,’ he said, looking at my feet. ‘You can’t leave in socks.’
‘I came out in slippers.’
‘Wear Mum’s shoes.’ He indicated a pair of fawn brogues that almost blended into the carpet. ‘You’re about the same size.’
‘Won’t she mind?’
‘You can probably get away with murder now you’ve saved Jack again.’
‘Not hers, I hope.’
He laughed, a warm rich sound that made my heart feel full. ‘Your work here is done, Poppins.’
‘Shame you can’t say something similar to your workmen.’ I looked around the dingy hall, which I’d grown to rather like. ‘They could have done this today if they hadn’t been working for me.’
‘It can wait until the New Year.’ He touched the battered skirting board with his foot. ‘I’m sick of the smell of paint, anyway.’
‘You don’t know what you’re missing,’ I said, which made him laugh again. Our eyes snagged, and it was hard to look away. ‘I’ll see you at the party tomorrow, all being well.’
‘Oh, you will.’ He held me in his gaze a moment longer.
‘Right then.’ Confused, I opened the front door, and he followed me out to my car, which in my haste, I’d parked at a peculiar angle and hadn’t bothered to lock.
‘It’s been an eventful day,’ I said, patting my pockets for my keys, aware I was being too jolly. ‘I’m surprised I’m not more tired.’ In fact, I’d felt more alive in the past week than I had for ages, and I recalled the exhilaration I’d felt, plunging into the sea after Jack. It was as if I’d been woken up, and ever since had let myself be drawn deeper into their lives, despite all its complications.
I’d changed. Or, maybe, I’d become me.
Unsure of where my thoughts were heading, I tugged out my keys. ‘It’s supposed to snow tomorrow,’ I said, and gave an exaggerated shiver even though I wasn’t cold.
‘So they keep saying.’ We looked up at the sky, and it occurred to me that I’d seen a lot of sky over the past twenty-four hours.
‘I should go,’ I said, dropping my eyes from his.
‘Not until I’ve done this.’ Before I knew what was happening, Seth had leaned in and kissed me on the mouth. It lasted a mere second, but I felt as if I’d been attached to a defibrillator. ‘I’ve wanted to do that since you came out of the sea, like Ursula Andress, in your bra and jeans.’
My lungs felt a size too small. ‘To say thank you for saving Jack.’
He pulled back, his eyes tracing mine. ‘You really need to stop this,’ he said softly. ‘Yes, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you did that day. It’s imprinted on my heart forever, but that isn’t why I wanted to kiss you.’
‘Why, then?’ I jerked away, unexpected tears flooding my eyes. ‘I thought you had feelings for Bridget.’ I wondered when she was planning to tell him about Chad. ‘You can’t switch them on and off.’
He reached for my hand and tried to tug me towards him. ‘I like your sister, but there’s nothing going on.’ He stroked a tendril of hair behind my ear.
‘But you kissed her, and sent her a text the night after your dinner,’ I said. ‘What was that all about?’
‘Actually, she kissed me.’ A
smile hovered around his mouth. ‘If you hadn’t ducked away from the window, you’d have seen me untangling myself.’ Blood whooshed to my face. ‘And I wanted to let her know that although I’d had a nice time and hoped we could be friends, I didn’t want a relationship.’ He gave a one-shouldered shrug. ‘She replied that she felt the same, and was still in love with her baby-daddy.’
‘She’d never say baby-daddy.’
‘She did.’
My heart was behaving in a way I’d never experienced – all fluttery and fast – and I was overcome with an urge to laugh and cry at the same time. But mostly laugh. And then cry.
Seth took my other hand and pressed my palms to his chest. ‘I was never in danger of falling for your sister, Tilly.’ His eyes moved to my lips, and he cupped my jaw with one hand and rested the other on my waist. ‘I’m already in love with you.’
Even as my head began to spin, his words opened up an acknowledgement deep inside me; that I’d fallen for him that day on the beach, when he’d wrapped me in his sweater like a gift. ‘Me too,’ I whispered, curling my arm around his neck. ‘I mean, with you.’ And in the second before his lips met mine, I knew.
This was going to be the most significant kiss of my life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The Christmas Eve party went almost according to plan.
The guests were wowed with the function room, the oak floor in particular drawing oodles of compliments, and by the end of the evening there were several bookings for birthday parties, and Bill Feathers had asked if I’d consider giving the Smugglers Inn a long overdue makeover.
‘It’s time to get rid of the sticky carpet,’ he said, drunk on mulled wine, and I decided to wait and see if he asked me again when he was sober before committing.
The music went down a storm – mostly requests for Christmas songs because… well, it was Christmas, and Danny managed to discreetly propose to Cassie by the tree in the café that we’d decorated together. Obviously, she said yes, and agreed they could choose a ring together, but she decided not to announce her pregnancy, as nearly everyone had guessed already, due to her not drinking alcohol, and rushing off to be sick every half hour.