by Stella
I glanced around the room, my jaw slowing down around the food while I tried to find the hidden camera. “You’re gonna have to spell this out for me, Katie. I’m lost. I have no idea why you’re confused.”
“Because you said you’re in love!” She slapped the table, and I began to fear for my life.
“Yes. I did.”
“Who are you in love with? Yourself?”
I shrugged because…well, she wasn’t wrong. “Of course.”
“The video insinuates you were talking about being in love with me.”
“Good. Because I was. Glad no one was left scratching their heads with that one.”
“Oh my God, Gage. I can’t with you right now. These damn cramps won’t go away, I’ve been pissing myself every time I sit down, and now this. Getting answers from you is the same as asking a tree why it grows and expecting a philosophical reply.”
If I only asked one question at a time, there was a good chance I wouldn’t make it through the list. Katie had pregnancy brain and couldn’t stay on topic to save her life. It was exhausting. So instead, I decided to ask them all at once. “What cramps? Do they make diapers in your size? And anyone who talks to a tree, regardless of what kind of response they expect to get, is fucking crazy. The end.” I finished the last bite and then added, “Do we have any ice cream? Like the good stuff? None of that vanilla crap. I like the banana kind. Oh! If we have the banana kind…do we have that chocolate sauce for the top?”
“The doctor said the cramping is normal—Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s only a little bit of pee, so no, I will not wear a diaper. And the rest of that is not worth my time to answer. I’m just confused why you’d tell the world something so personal before you told me.”
“Told you what? You know banana ice cream is my favorite.”
“No, asshole.” Again, I feared for my life. “That you love me. You said it to some random guy in an interview before me.”
“I’ve told you I love you.”
“No, Gage…you haven’t.”
I tapped my chin and thought back to all the times I’d said it. “I’m sure I have.”
“Was I awake?”
“That I don’t know. You sleep a lot. And when you’re not asleep, you’re complaining about being tired. So really, there’s no telling. But I’d say the chances of you being awake are slim to none. Much like right now…I have no clue what of this you’ll remember in the morning.”
“What exactly is the point in telling someone you love them if they don’t hear it?”
“There isn’t one. You’re talking in circles, Hula-Hoop. Maybe that means you should go to bed.” I kissed her forehead and took my plate to the sink. “I’ll wash the dishes while you take a shower, and then I’ll meet you up there.”
I had come home this morning after our last game of the regular season. And I had five days until the first game of the playoffs. Even though I’d have to be at the field for half that time, training and making sure the team was ready, I still wanted to spend as much time as I could with Katie at home before the chaos of the post-season began.
By the time I had the kitchen cleaned and made it to the bedroom, Katie was passed out. We hadn’t done more than kiss in over a week, which normally, would’ve made both of us hungry for the other, though I couldn’t find it in me to wake her up. Instead, I crawled in behind her and pulled her against my chest. She hadn’t been able to curl up against me in a while, and I practically counted down the days until she could again. As much as I liked holding her this way, nothing beat the nights I’d fallen asleep with her breaths dancing along my bare skin.
“Goodnight, Katie. I love you.” Even though she said it didn’t count if she wasn’t awake, I didn’t care. After she’d pointed it out tonight that I had never told her, I realized she was right. For some reason, even though I knew I did, it had just never occurred to me to verbalize it. There was more than likely a shrink somewhere in the world who could’ve figured out why, but it wasn’t important.
I did love her.
And I showed her so every damn day.
Whether I said it or not shouldn’t have mattered.
We were in the weight room when Coach pulled me aside. He didn’t look pissed, but then again, there were many times he’d needed to sit down with me and what he had to say did not match his expression.
“Your boyfriend called,” he said with his hand on my shoulder.
“Coach, with all due respect, I think carrying a baby proves Katie is a woman.”
He shook his head and bit back his laugh. “No. Kyler.”
“Oh, that boyfriend…what’d he want? Is he trying to get back on the team? He always was jealous of me. First, he went after Ellie because he knew she wanted a piece of this. Now he’s trying to weasel his way back on the roster? Damn, he won’t stop at anything until he becomes me, will he?”
His exhale sounded far more like it did when he thought I’d said something stupid. “No, he called because they had to take your girl to the hospital, and no one could reach you.”
“They did what?” There was a chance my voice had returned to prepubescent days.
“She’s okay, but she’s in labor.”
“That’s not possible.”
He stared at me with confusion for a moment, and then he asked, “She’s pregnant, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Like big pregnant, right?”
“Big? She’s the size of a house.”
“I’m no doctor here, but I’m willing to step out on a limb and say that yes, it is most definitely possible that she’s in labor. But again, that’s simply my unprofessional opinion.”
“Holy shit! What do I do?”
“I’d say you should probably go to the hospital. Although, I’m going to suggest someone drive you there. We’re about to be in the playoffs—I don’t need you freaking out on the road and ending up in a wreck.”
I wasn’t sure how, but I’d managed to make it to the hospital. Coach had asked Bobby to take me, and considering I hadn’t called him Booby once the entire time I was in his car, it was a safe assumption that I wouldn’t have been able to drive myself.
Ellie was already there when I stormed into the room. For whatever reason, I had expected there to be a lot of screaming, flying curse words, and scary threats coming from Katie. That wasn’t what I walked into. Instead, she sat propped up on the bed, crunching on ice.
“Good news, Gage.” Katie smiled—TV had labor all wrong, because she seemed to be in a good mood. “I wasn’t peeing myself yesterday. Turns out, my water had broken.”
“The bad news is, they have no idea how long it’s been going on,” Ellie continued for her.
“I don’t understand.”
“The longer she goes without giving birth, the higher the risk of infection. When I had my kids, they wouldn’t let me go past twenty-four hours. And there’s a chance it’s been longer than that.” She held up her hand to silence my panic. “But luckily, she didn’t take a bath, and nothing has been up there, so the doctor feels confident to let her labor normally. They just started her on medication to kick-start the contractions. You made it at the right time.”
“So I didn’t miss anything?”
“Nope.” Ellie patted Katie’s leg and walked around the bed. “I have to get home and take care of a few things, but I’ll be back. Keep me updated, please.”
I moved to Katie’s side, taking Ellie’s place. “Sure thing. Thanks for getting her here.”
“No worries. I may need you to repay this favor in about eight months.”
“Why? What’s happening then?”
Ellie didn’t answer. Instead, she waved and left the room.
“What am I missing?”
Katie took my hand and smiled. “They’re having another baby. But don’t say anything because they haven’t told anyone yet. Corinne doesn’t know.”
Offended, I said, “I can keep secrets.”
“Gage, you told Corin
ne what Coby and Ellie got her for her birthday. You can’t keep anything from that little girl.”
My argument was stifled by her tight grip and very scary breathing. It reminded me of a bull the way she sucked in and blew out through her nose. It was a damn good thing I wasn’t a pitcher, or she would’ve singlehandedly ruined my career with how tight she held onto me.
“Is he coming?” I grew excited, thinking this was it.
She was in pain, so he had to be on his way out. I crouched down by the end of the bed, moved the blankets over my head, and tried to part her legs.
“What the hell are you doing, Gage?”
“Trying to see him.”
She pushed me away with her feet, and when I stood back up, she glared at me. Apparently, she was in no mood to joke around. Note taken. And if I couldn’t make her laugh, there was almost no point in being here—except, of course, her having my baby.
So I spent the next several hours fetching the nurse, then getting yelled at by the nurse. In my defense, I had no idea it was inappropriate to call them and ask how much longer before my son would arrive. To me, that sounded like a reasonable question.
Katie had gone from a snorting bull to a rabid werewolf. For someone who had used me as her own personal sex slave over the last nine months, she seemed rather adamant that I was never to get my dick anywhere near her again. And no matter how much money I offered the doctor, he refused to give her anything for the pain.
“She must be at least five centimeters before we can administer an epidural,” he said, as if that would somehow make everything better. “She’s only at three.”
“So how do we make it bigger?”
He chuckled. Because apparently, he thought I was joking. “We just have to let the Pitocin do its job. I’ll be around, and the hospital staff has everything under control. Don’t worry, Gage.” He squeezed my shoulder and then left the room.
Back to waiting.
Another three hours and it was late in the afternoon. By this point, Katie hadn’t eaten anything, and I was sure if she didn’t get food soon, someone would die. In a very vain effort to save myself, I demanded the nurses get her something.
“Sorry…she knows the rules. Nothing to eat until the baby comes.”
“What? Why?”
“In case she needs a cesarean.”
“What would she need that for? She’s already pregnant, in case you missed the last six hours of her being in labor. Where did you get your medical degree at, anyway? Didn’t they teach you anything? I’ve never gone to doctor school, and even I know there’s no reason to have someone carry a baby if the bun is about to come out of her oven.”
“No…” She blinked a few times, and I’d seen that look before. It was the one that came right before an insult. “Not a surrogate. A cesarean. Otherwise known as a C-section.”
“Do I have to teach you everything? The baby is coming out of her va-gi-na. Wanna see?” I started to lift the blankets near Katie’s feet, but she stopped me with a terrifying growl.
Nurse Blair—if that was even her real name—touched my arm and said, “There are many reasons a patient would need a C-section during labor. And considering she’s gone this long and isn’t progressing very far, despite being induced, we can’t take any chances.”
I nodded, even though I disagreed.
And thirty minutes later, when the pizza guy showed up, the same woman came back—without the pizza boxes. “Mr. Nix, if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to have your food in the waiting area in front of the nurses’ station. However, I can’t, in good conscience, allow you to bring it in here.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll give it to Katie.”
“You don’t know that. I’m insulted by your accusations.”
“The delivery guy had specific instructions from you to bring the pizza into the room, and if asked, he was to ensure us that it was definitely not for Katie.”
“And you didn’t believe him? Do you think everyone is a liar?”
Rather than continue the debate, she rolled her eyes and left.
It was sad, really. Because I was hungry. And Katie gave me that look that said if I went and ate, she would murder me in my sleep. So, I didn’t. Instead, I continued to sit next to her and pretend the mother of my child hadn’t come up with seventy-two different ways to remove my balls.
Finally, after yet another three hours, Katie had progressed far enough to get pain meds. I couldn’t have been happier. And it had come at the best possible time—so we could both get some sleep. Granted, I passed out long before she did. And by “passed out,” I meant it in the literal sense. I was next to the bed one minute, saw the size of the needle they planned to stab Katie with, and before I knew it, I was on the couch with a rag on my forehead.
Who knows how long I had been out for, but when I came to, Katie was back to being the woman I loved rather than the monster who scared me.
Except, that didn’t last as long as I’d hoped it would.
Before the sun came up, she was begging for drugs. Thank God another nurse was on duty, and this time, she actually knew what she was doing. I’d feared Katie had developed some sort of addiction to whatever they’d given her last time, but this lady just giggled to herself and said, “She means for the pain. Not heroin.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
After playing solitaire or whatever she was doing on the computer next to the bed, she pulled me into the hallway. “Does Ms. Crisp have a drug problem? Or did she? I don’t see it anywhere in her records, and your response has me a little concerned.”
“No, it was just prostitution. Her mom was the druggie.”
She nodded…slowly. And then blinked…even slower. “She’s a…a prostitute?”
“Oh, no. She served her time for that. No worries.”
After checking the hospital bracelet on my wrist, she asked, “You’re the father, correct?”
“Yes. And I know what you’re thinking. You can stop right there.”
Her eyes widened, though she didn’t say anything.
“I paid her for other things, but not to sleep with me. Hell, if I’d done that, she’d be rich.” I nudged her with my elbow. “If you catch my drift.”
“Unfortunately, I think I do.” She cleared her throat and took a step back. “Well, thank you, Mr. Nix. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do. I’ve notified her physician, so as soon as he gets it, he’ll put in an order for more pain medication.”
I found it odd that she didn’t look me in the eyes as she walked away, but then again, most people were too star struck to even talk to me, so I had to give her credit for at least doing that. I went back to the room and continued doing what I did best—wait.
The doctor came in around nine and checked Katie again. I’d finally understood that he wasn’t fingering her. Yesterday, I’d stopped him in the middle of it and tried to explain that when done properly, it wouldn’t hurt. He ignored me. That seemed to be a theme in this hospital. But when I’d felt the need to explain it to Nurse Blair—who in my opinion, should’ve known better considering she was also a woman—I was informed that they had to really get in there to feel her cervix, and it wasn’t meant to be pleasurable. Those weren’t the nurse’s words, but that’s what I took from it.
She’d followed it up with, “And you are not allowed to do it yourself, no matter how much practice you’ve had ‘in this arena.’ You’re a baseball player, not a doctor, Mr. Nix.” Although, I’d gotten in the last word when I pointed out she wasn’t a doctor, either. Katie said that was probably why Nurse Blair didn’t like me.
The doctor removed his gloves and tossed them into the trash, then used hand sanitizer from the automatic pump near the door. Honestly, if he was so worried about germs getting through the latex, I didn’t understand why he’d put them on in the first place. But as it had been pointed out many times, I wasn’t a medical professional. Although, I had to admit, after watching these p
eople for the last twenty-four hours, I was fairly confident I could be.
“You’re not quite seven centimeters, Katie. I hate to say it, but at this point in the game, I don’t feel we should wait any longer. Since we’re unsure when your water actually broke, the safest thing would be to go ahead and proceed with a cesarean. I know that’s not what you wanted, but aside from waiting it out and risking infection, there’s no other option.”
I stood back and witnessed this exchange. My stomach was in knots as I listened to everything Dr. Jamison said. I understood it all—how every time someone checked her, it increased the risks; waiting longer didn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t have to do surgery in the end—though that didn’t mean any of it made me comfortable.
Dr. Jamison looked at me, then back to Katie, yet he spoke to us both when he said, “This next part will happen fast. The team will come in and bring you down to the OR. They’ll explain everything as they go, and before you know it, you and baby will be back up here together.”
“Doc…” I barely got the word out. My throat was so tight it practically strangled my voice. I’d stuffed down my fear since finding out she had gone into labor, but now that we’d reached this point, I couldn’t ignore the panic burning in my chest any longer. “He’s early. Will they have to…I mean…will he have to go to the…”
“He shouldn’t have to. Katie is thirty-six weeks and five days, so the baby should be perfectly fine. But we won’t know for sure until he’s out. I don’t see any reason to worry. If there are no more questions, I’ll let the team up so we can get you your baby.”
I let him leave and immediately rushed to Katie’s side to hold her hand. Somehow, she was calm about this whole thing. I, on the other hand, was not. I was freaked out. Scared. Utterly petrified at the thought of Katie having surgery.
“I love you, Katie.” The words just came without thought. “You were right—I hadn’t ever said it to you, and when I spoke to that reporter, I didn’t think twice about it. But I need you to know that. I don’t know when it happened, nor do I care, because all that matters is I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”