He sighed, a long drawn out exhale and turned to her, leaning close so he could speak toward her ear. “It’s Ryan. You don’t have to do the ‘Mr. Noland’ stuff.” He pulled back, his green eyes sharp on her face. From the close proximity, the length of his lashes and the hint of black stubble sent a delicious shiver to her toes. “I’m assuming I can call you Lisa?”
A few weeks back Lisa had asked that he call her Lisa, but he’d refused, stating it wasn’t proper. She swallowed and nodded just a touch. “Okay… Ryan. That’s fine.” Dang, if he didn’t make her insides whoop and holler like children playing cowboys and Indians. She licked her lips. “Why the change?”
“I’m sick of being stagnant, if that makes sense.” Holding her gaze, he reached for her glass and gently removed it from her fingers. “I’m going to get us another round. Don’t move.” He turned and strode across the thick lawn carpeting the Rourke backyard.
Could she move even if she wanted to? She wriggled her foot, yanking it up and then to the side. Her stiletto heel wouldn’t budge from its new position deep in the grass. She had shifted her weight to her heels with Ryan so close. Holy cow, what was going on? She stared after him, unsure of what to do or even what to say when he returned.
The last thing she’d ever hoped for was that he would bring her a drink. All she’d wanted to do by seeing him there was make sure he saw her actually dressed up. Looking sexy as hell was her thing and succeeding at that in her physical therapist uniform was next to impossible – next to, but not actually impossible. Okay, now she just sounded annoying. Her walls were up at the new level of discomfort and she had no idea how to handle the situation.
A couple broke away from the convoluted crowd. The man pushed the woman in a sleek wheelchair across the lawn. Toward Lisa.
Crap. Ryan would return with drinks any second. Lisa didn’t want to talk to Sara Beth right then. She had to know what Ryan was up to. Flirting with him – if that’s where drinks were leading – would be different but taboo since she worked with his son.
Okay, maybe she’d better not avoid Sara Beth and Johnny. They were feet from her spot anyway. She couldn’t just… lovely, just behind them Ryan maneuvered past a group of laughing women.
Things were going so well.
Just as Sara Beth and Johnny reached her, Lisa snorted at her own sarcasm.
Biting her lip, Sara Beth offered a smile. “Hi, Lisa. I’m so glad you came. I know Rosie will be too, once she comes out from the pictures.”
Johnny shuffled his feet, glancing around at the party and trying not to look directly at Lisa. The guy was a sweetheart, but too goody-goody for Lisa. Their relationship would never have worked had she been serious about him. Which she wasn’t serious about anyone – not since… Charlie…
A pang twisted in her gut at his memory and all the pain she’d endured with him, but she forced a bright smile as Ryan joined them, a drink in each hand. He offered one to Lisa and half-turned to face Sara Beth and Johnny, waiting for an introduction.
Lisa ground her teeth for a moment. Of course, she’d be expected to introduce everyone. She was the common link, but still, she didn’t want to. “Thank you, Ryan. This is Sara Beth Scott and Johnny Mayfair. Sara Beth and Johnny, this is Ryan Noland.” She lifted her new drink to her lips and wrinkled her nose at the alcohol fumes wafting from the surface.
She wasn’t into drinking, preferred to keep her head straight at all times. That didn’t mean she was above faking a hangover or inebriation, it just meant that she wouldn’t get drunk for anyone. Lowering her glass, she fiddled with the condensation dripping down the side.
“Are you the Sara Beth that teaches disabled people how to ride horses at Lonely Rivers Ranch?” Ryan tilted his head, sipping on a notably darker drink than Lisa’s.
Sara Beth blushed, waving her hand. “That’s me. It’s been a huge blessing.”
“I’ll say. You have my son talking about riding horses now. He’s excited, but I doubt it’s something he’ll be able to do.” Ryan’s tight smile disappeared behind the rim of his glass as he took another drink.
Sara Beth’s smile changed to confusion. She glanced between Lisa and Ryan. “What’s wrong with him that he can’t try?”
Lisa tried catching Sara Beth’s eyes to shake her head, but Sara Beth wasn’t having any of it. She held Ryan’s gaze, unwilling to back down.
He shrugged, and lowered his glass. “He was born with spina bifida. There are a lot of things he can’t do. Things he’ll never be able to do. I protect him the best I can and getting on the backs of horses isn’t exactly safe when you’re in a condition like his.”
“Well, when you’re ready to let your son try things, bring him by. I think you’d be surprised what those of us with conditions can do.” She turned her icy smile to Lisa. “Anyway, I’m glad you came. If you get a chance, find Rosie and say hi.” She glanced up at Johnny and murmured something to him. He gripped the handles of her chair and moved as if to roll away.
Ryan held up a finger, lifting his phone as he did so. “Excuse me, I need to take this.” He scowled and turned away, pacing about twenty feet away from the small group they’d formed.
Lisa held out a hand. “Wait, I came to warn you.” She peeked at Ryan whose jaw had tightened and his shoulders squared off. The call didn’t appear amenable. He slammed the phone shut and stomped toward them. “Maybe a bit later? It’d be best to talk with Rosie as well.”
Sara Beth shook her head, her hands tight in her lap. “No, not today. Come back Monday? We can all talk then. I’ll set it up. Morning okay?”
No, Lisa didn’t want to get stuck out there with all of them. She didn’t want to hear how the girls were family and needed each other and whatever else Sara Beth would try to force down Lisa’s throat. But being rude didn’t sit well with her, not when the last time she’d seen Sara Beth Lisa had been rude and acted like a spoiled teenager. Yeah, she had to live that down. Especially with the woman dating one of Lisa’s exes.
“Sure. I’ll come out after breakfast.” Lisa glanced toward Ryan as he reached them, a scowl darkening his features. Hopefully, Sara Beth and Johnny would leave. Then Lisa could talk to Ryan, figure out what was going on in that head of his.
Without another word, Sara Beth and Johnny returned to the party. And Lisa held up her drink. “Thank you for this. Are you drinking the same thing?” Just how much had he had to drink?
“Oh yes. Not many social gatherings are tolerable without alcohol.” He lifted his drink and clicked his tongue. Tipping back his head, he drained the glass in a good long swallow.
“If you hate parties so much, why’d you come?” Lisa watched him closely. Shadows lurked behind his eyes, pain and a dull ache Lisa herself recognized. Continuous heartbreak and betrayal mixed with disappointment would change anyone like that.
He turned the full force of his uncontrollable green gaze upon her, the intensity swirling the flutterings in her stomach to a frenzy. “I came because there was a slight chance you might be here.” He tossed back the rest of his drink. “Excuse me, I need to take care of some business.”
Lisa didn’t move. She couldn’t. His comment had attached itself to her feet like a chain and block of cement. He’d thrown that out into the pasture and Lisa didn’t know if he was joking, was drunk, or was serious.
What if he was serious? No, she’d know if he was interested. He never even talked to her more than was absolutely necessary.
Cheering and whistling sounded in the distance, growing as the bride and groom ran through the crowd to a horse and carriage.
A fairy tale ending to a fairy tale wedding. Too bad Lisa couldn’t tell which parts of the day were real and which were fake.
Ryan
Chapter 6
What business was it of Ms. Scott’s, if Ryan let Jesse ride or not? She didn’t understand his abilities. She didn’t have the right to say anything.
But then his phone had rung and he’d bit back an expletive.
Wanda.
Again.
He stepped to the side. “What?”
“Ryan, don’t hang up.” Over the last hour or so since they had spoken, she had grown bolder, more firm. “I want to see Jesse.”
He froze, his back rigid. The biting caustic taste of his drink bubbled in his stomach. “What?”
“I’ll be in Colby by Monday afternoon. I’d like to see Jesse, but I don’t want you there.” She rushed through her demands, like she had something he wanted and would trade.
“No.” Flat. He refused to let her back into their lives. Jesse had never seen her, never known her… crap, the fact that Jesse had never met his own mother slapped Ryan across the face.
Ryan pressed his jaws together and growled. “You won’t be alone with him. I’ll get a chaperone. I don’t want to see you either.” But he did. A sick part of him wanted to know if she was as gorgeous as she used to be, if she’d changed or lost any of the pregnancy weight. He wanted to see if abandoning her family had hardened her or if somehow she’d been blessed with even more since she didn’t have to deal with the trials of raising a child with spina bifida.
“Really? You’ll let me see him?” She whispered, as if she’d never known Ryan to be a compassionate man.
She’d never understood him which twisted like a branding iron in his gut. “You only get one hour. And you answer any questions he asks you. I’ll set up someone to watch. One hour. I’ll text you the time to be there. Don’t be late.” He hung up on her again. He almost wished she would call back just so he could hang up – again. Each time was more satisfying than the last.
Part of him threw caution to the wind before he left the party. He might have told Lisa that he’d only been there because he wanted to see her. Yes, he’d done that and hadn’t waited around for a reply.
~~~
Kelsey couldn’t come back Monday afternoon. In his own desperation, Ryan even phoned Amelia James and Becky MacAllister – Kelsey’s sisters-in-law. As apologetic as they were, they couldn’t help him either.
What did he do?
Sitting at the picnic style bench on the patio he’d designed for Jesse, Ryan rubbed oil into the sixteen-inch leather handle of his whip.
“What’re you doin’, Dad?” Jesse moved beside him, watching the handle of the whip like it might be an ice cream cone in disguise.
Ryan slowed his strokes, trying to lessen the intensity of the conversation he was about to begin. “Just loosening the leather. What’re you up to, Jesse?” He smoothed and worked the small amount of linseed oil into the well-worn handle. He’d had that whip almost nine years. The beast still cracked like a newly braided rope.
Jesse shrugged, pushing his walker closer to the bench and sat down. Leaning on the table and staring at his dad’s hands, he mumbled. “Nothing much. I’m bored.”
Ryan opened his mouth to reply, but Jesse hurried to cut him off.
“Before you tell me that boredom is a sign of an idle mind, I think I need to remind you that normal people have friends, people to talk to. I don’t. I don’t even have a dog.” He stared at the lines in the table, reddened cheeks attesting to his emotions.
Stopping the oiling, Ryan rested his hands on the edge of the table and watched Jesse. He tried to hear what Jesse was telling him. When he looked at his boy, all he saw was a child that had been dealt a rough hand. Ryan loved him like mad, would do anything for him. “What can I do?”
Jesse lifted moist eyes toward Ryan. “I don’t know. Put me in school? Help me find friends? Nobody wants to know me or be around me because I’m so different. Even…” He shook his head and then stared off into the distance at the mountainous bison grouped around the pasture.
Tilting his head to the side, Ryan considered Jesse. “Even what?”
Gaze directed back to the table, Jesse murmured. “Even my own mom didn’t want me.” He set his jaw and raised his eyes to stare at his dad, like challenging him to deny it.
“You know how this goes. She couldn’t handle what happened.” Ryan didn’t know what else to say. They always stalemated right there. He didn’t know what had made Wanda do the things she had done and Ryan didn’t pretend to have any idea. He was always honest with Jesse and he wasn’t going to start lying then.
Shrugging, Jesse nodded. “I know. But why would she leave me? What did I do? Does everyone see the same horrible kid that she did? Is that why I don’t have any friends?”
Ryan placed a hand on Jesse’s bicep. “You know what? I think those are valid questions. She’s planning on coming here Monday afternoon. If she makes it,” Ryan pointed his finger at the table. “If she makes it, and I’m not saying she will, if she does, you can ask her anything you want. I agreed to an hour, so have your questions ready.” He tried acting like he hadn’t just pushed an enraged bull into the backyard.
Lips parted and eyes wide, Jesse stared at Ryan like he’d just yelled out he was branding all the animals with a lighter and a fork.
Ignoring his reaction, Ryan returned to his whip. He needed to do his hat band as well. “I need to find someone to chaperone. She and I agreed that I wouldn’t be here, but I don’t trust… well, I just need to find someone to stay here, you know?” He couldn’t meet Jesse’s eyes. The last thing he wanted Jesse to know was that he hadn’t wanted Wanda to return. He worked hard not to speak negatively about Jesse’s mom, even if she was a no-good-quitter.
“What about Lisa? She said she would be here Monday in the afternoon. Maybe we could do that for my hour?” Jesse pushed himself into a semi-standing position and waited for his dad’s reply.
Lisa? Why hadn’t Ryan thought of her? Because when he did think of her, it wasn’t with the thought of having her act as chaperone to Ryan’s ex-wife and Jesse’s mother. With a non-committal nod, Ryan considered Lisa. “Okay, well, I can call her, but no promises, okay?”
But it was too late to ask Jesse to rein in his excitement. And anxiety. The last thing Jesse would be able to do would be relax until Lisa agreed to come. “Hold on, I’ll get your phone.” And he pushed off with his awkward gait and rhythm toward the house.
Ryan dropped his face into his hands. What was he doing? The last thing he needed was a complication with his son’s physical therapist.
Mulling over how amazing Lisa had looked in the dress at the wedding, Ryan didn’t notice Jesse’s outstretched hand and phone inches from his face.
Jesse cleared his throat.
Snapping out of his daydream of removing her dress, Ryan accepted the phone. He punched the button for her speed dial and waited. Voicemail, voicemail, voicemail, come on!
“This is Lisa.” She sounded efficient which drove Ryan nuts.
“Ahem, Lisa, hi, it’s Ryan Noland. I was calling because I have a favor to ask. If that’s okay?” He twirled the tapered end of his whip around his finger.
“I didn’t realize we had reached that point in our friendship where we could ask for favors. Okay, I’ll bite, what can I do for you?” Sassy and irreverent personality traits drew him in like a stallion to a heating mare.
“Yes, well, Jesse’s mother will be in town Monday and she would like to see Jesse. I can’t chaperone, because… well, I can’t. So I was wondering if you could do it? I wouldn’t normally ask, but I’m kind of in a bind. And well, I need someone there I can trust—”
“I’ll do it. Let Jesse know I’m excited for Monday and I can’t wait to discuss our goals for his treatment plan. We can hone them from that point.” Her smile reached him through the phone.
“Goals, huh?” Ryan almost sighed. Lisa was moving higher and higher on the Keepable Cowgirl List. He’d have to monitor it closely. The last thing he needed was to lose the find of a life because he didn’t want to commit to another woman who might leave him and his son.
Lisa
Chapter 7
Sunday hadn’t been as relaxing as Lisa had planned.
Ryan’s parting comment at the wedding left her wondering if maybe she’d im
agined something or maybe if she hadn’t imagined enough. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d misread signals from a man.
When he phoned and asked for her help, a warm fuzzy feeling focused itself in the pit of her stomach, just below her belly button. Any time she pictured him or thought of what he might be doing, the slight warmth spread and she couldn’t help smiling. Men never played the hard-to-get game with her. She was so straightforward, there didn’t seem to be a point.
But the ordeal with Johnny... Oh wow, that entire time period still burned like the sting of a whip when she thought too hard about it. Johnny had been her rebound guy.
Charlie… well, to put it nicely, Charlie hadn’t been gentle when he touched her and the excitement of being with Charlie Childress could excuse bruises for only so long. The fact that the man had been on Devlyn Caracus’s gang had only increased his desirability.
Resisting Redemption Page 3