by Doxer, Debra
Ryan lowers me down onto the cushions and covers my body with his. He molds himself to me, and we fit together perfectly in all the right places.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers as he trails kisses down my neck.
“So are you.” I run my hands down the firm muscles of his smooth back and then I flutter them lower, urging him on, showing him what I want. Our first night together is a perfect combination of pent-up urgency, pure satisfaction, and slow gratification.
We manage to move upstairs at some point, and he falls asleep long before I do. Lying in his arms, my mind wanders back to the first time I met Ryan after our car accident and then to the other times that followed. Soon I find the smooth jazz music he likes to listen to in his car running through my head. When I first heard those songs, they didn’t seem to have a distinctive melody. Initially, I only heard disorganized tones rising and falling aimlessly. But as the music washed over me, I relaxed into it, enjoying the calm notes that flowed past me seamlessly before rising into unexpected crescendos and bursts of sound that hit a sweet spot I hadn’t even realized was there.
twenty-seven
“Have you seen my watch?”
I glance up to find Ryan standing bare-chested in the middle of my living room peering around at the floor as he rushes a hand through his hair causing it to stand on end for a moment before falling back down again. My eyes roam the smooth skin that ripples over his chest and stomach as my hands tingle with the memory of touching of him there.
“It’s got to be here somewhere,” he mutters.
I give myself a mental shake before I begin pulling the couch cushions up. “Got it,” I announce, holding up the familiar thick, silver timepiece filled with dials.
He smiles at me and rewards me with a breathtaking kiss. It has been an amazing evening and morning. Waking up in Ryan’s arms felt absolutely right. Everything about the way things have gone with him since Wes’ unexpected appearance has been exhilarating and just easy with no misunderstandings or reasons for insecurity. This is how it should be. But it almost didn’t happen, and I can’t stop thinking about that.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything.” Ryan is picking up the rest of his clothes which were discarded on the floor last night. He pulls his shirt on over his head, carelessly smoothes his hair back, and turns his attention to me. Suddenly, with those intelligent hazel eyes intent on mine, I develop stage fright.
“What is it?” he asks, my hesitation making him curious.
Just as I’m about to speak, I’m lifted off my feet. I feel Ryan turn with me in his arms and I land in his lap on the couch. The flimsy T-shirt I threw on this morning has made its way up to the top of my thighs. His warm hand rests on my bare leg, and he begins rubbing it gently, making small circles just above my knee. My brain is now too scrambled to form a coherent thought.
“This is my lucky couch.” Ryan smirks at me as he runs his other hand over the couch cushion.
I grin back at him. “I’m pretty fond of this couch myself.”
His hand moves from the cushion to my lower back. “Go on. Ask me.”
I take a breath and decide to tell him what’s on my mind. “If Wes hadn’t shown up here that night, would I have ever heard from you again?”
He eyes me silently, and I can see he’s processing my question. Then he leans his head back into the cushion. “I wanted to call you.”
After an extended silence, I prompt him. “But… ”
“But… ” he lifts his head and watches me as he continues. “I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.”
I nod, remembering his words from the night he came to get Wes. “You thought I hated you.”
“Something like that.”
“So, I guess we owe Wes a lot.”
“You’re unhappy with my answer,” he states with a knowing frown.
I shrug. “I could have called you, too, and I didn’t.”
“But I’m the guy. So, I should have called you and taken my chances,” he says, voicing my exact thoughts.
“If you were really interested, you could have done that.” I cringe slightly, afraid I’ve pushed it too far.
“You think I wasn’t interested?”
I can read the surprise in his expression, and I feel the need to make him understand that I believe I’m at fault, too. “I just mean that you might not have been all that interested in the paranoid girl who was making a mountain out of a mole hill.”
His eyes crinkle at the edges as his smirk reappears. “I never thought of you as the paranoid girl.” He lightly runs the back of his fingers along my arm. “You have to understand what my life is like right now. Work is beyond crazy and it’s easy to just get lost in it. That’s what I do most of the time. When I told the guys at the office that I was leaving early because I had a date the first time we went out to dinner, you could have knocked them over with a feather. I never leave the office early, not for women, not for anything.”
“So there have been women?” I ask before I can think better of it.
He arches a brow at me.
“Of course there have been women,” I quickly add. When Wes showed up that night and assumed I was Ryan’s girlfriend, I figured he hadn’t seen Ryan date anyone other than me. But look at him. How could that be true?
An amused grin lights his face and only fades slightly before he answers. “Honestly, not lately and nothing serious. Nothing serious in a very long time. What about you? When I first asked you out over lunch, I was sure you’d tell me you had a boyfriend.”
I shake my head. “Same as you. Nothing serious in a long time.”
“How is that possible?”
“You mean because I’m just so awesome?” I joke because I know exactly how possible it is.
But he doesn’t laugh in response. His hand moves up over my neck to the back of my head. Then he pulls me to him and gently touches his lips to mine. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he says. He releases me and leans back into the couch again.
I blink him into focus and find myself laughing. “You’re going to take some getting used to.”
His answering smile is dazzling. “Should I continue?” he asks.
I feel warmth pooling inside me just thinking about him continuing. I nod and look at his lips.
“I mean continue with my explanation,” he clarifies dryly.
I nod again and chuckle, noticing that he’s looking at my lips, too.
He clears his throat, and his eyes meet mine. “I was out of practice when it comes to dating and I thought I blew it. I blew it when it really counted, and I tried not to think about what an ass I’d been. The last thing I wanted to do was bother you when I was sure you wanted nothing to do with me. But I want you to know that I was always interested. I was interested from the first moment I saw you.”
“You were?”
“I wasn’t sorry for hitting you with my car.”
My eyes widen at him.
“Of course, I’m glad you didn’t get hurt,” he says quickly. “I’m also glad my brother’s ill-conceived plan to run away from home gave us a second chance. I’m going to try my best not to blow it again.”
I bring my hand up to his face and run it across his rough cheek. “Me, too.”
Then I lean up and softly press my mouth to his. He gently returns my kiss and we continue with this slow, steady pace until I feel Ryan’s arms tighten around my back at the same time he deepens the kiss and presses me against his chest. A familiar pressure builds inside me, and I’m about to ask him if he really has to go into the office today since it’s Sunday. That’s why we’re not still in bed this morning. Ryan is working seven days a week to finish a project for an impatient customer. But I don’t voice that thought. I can’t have him thinking I’m going to be complaining about his work schedule. He’s trying to build a company. I need to be understanding of that.
We both break away at the same time. As I’m catching my breat
h, Ryan scrubs his hands over his face. “If I don’t leave now, it’s not going to happen.”
I ignore the desire to help him play hooky, and I slide off his lap. “We can’t have you slacking. What will the guys at the office think?” I tease.
He cocks his head at me, and I get the feeling he expected me to react differently. Like maybe he assumed I’d try coercing him into staying, and I wonder if he wanted me to. As he stands, he offers me a lopsided grin. “They’ll think I finally got laid.”
“Excuse me?” I ask.
He shrugs innocently.
I laugh and shake my head. “You don’t seriously talk about that stuff at your office. Do you?”
“We’re a bunch of geeky programmers. Our topics of conversation are limited to Star Trek and the sex we wish we were having.” He closes the distance between us and places his hands on my shoulders. “But you have effectively removed one of those topics from my conversation.”
I very much doubt he would ever be lacking for sex, and I’m about to make a joke about Trekkies when he leans down and sweeps his lips over mine. I feel his hands move to either side of my face as he runs his tongue along my bottom lip, coaxing my mouth to open. My body relaxes into his, leaning against him for support. Just as I’m sinking into the sensation of being completely surrounded and consumed by Ryan, he abruptly breaks away.
“Gotta go,” he says, making sure I’m steady on my feet before taking a step back and watching me.
The glint in his eye tells me the longing I’m feeling at this moment is exactly what he intended. He wants to make sure I’m very sorry to see him leave. He’s wearing a cocky grin as he calls back to me over his shoulder on his way to the door. “See you later, Andrea.”
Once I’m showered and dressed, I call Laura.
“How was your date last night?” she asks with no greeting at all, as usual.
“Since it just ended, I’d say it went pretty well.”
“Yeah!”
She yells so loudly, I have to pull the phone away from my ear. I feel a little pathetic that the fact I had a good date elicits this kind of response. But in all honesty, I want to yell about it, too. I’m feeling restless and giddy, and I hardly know what to do with myself.
“Tell me everything,” Laura says.
So I tell her every single thing.
“Wow,” she whispers.
“Yeah, wow.”
“He sounds like he’s really into you.”
“I know. Can you believe it?”
Laura immediately fires back at me. “Of course, I believe it. Why would you say that?”
“It’s not a self-esteem thing,” I say. “At least, I don’t think it is. It’s just that no guy has ever talked to me this way before. He’s being completely straightforward about his interest in me.”
“And what? That’s making it hard for you to believe him?” she asks incredulously.
I shake my head at myself. “No. Maybe. That would be ridiculous, right?”
She sighs. “It’s not ridiculous, Andy. What’s ridiculous is that no other guy has ever been this terrific to you. If your instincts are telling you to trust him and what he’s telling you, then do it. Don’t let any insecurities mess with your head on this. Okay?”
“I’m not planning on screwing this up,” I reply, and I feel a tension I hadn’t even known I’d been carrying release a little. “Believe me, unless his wife and kids show up at my door, nothing is going to prevent me from seeing where this goes with Ryan.”
She giggles. “Oh god. Let’s not go there.”
“With my luck, would that really surprise you?”
“I’m changing the subject now. When can I meet him? Let’s double date.”
“No way. It’s too new, and I want to keep him to myself for a while. Not a word to Mom and Dad,” I warn.
“Okay,” she agrees sounding disappointed. “What are you doing today? Come over and we can talk about Ryan some more.”
“I need to go to the pet store and the dry cleaners, but then I can come by.” I hear the call-waiting sound in my ear. “I’ve got another call, Laura. Hold on.” I click over and I’m happily surprised to hear Ryan’s voice.
“Miss me yet?” he asks.
“Yes, terribly,” I reply, smiling into the phone.
“Good to know. Did I leave my phone on your night stand?”
I take a walk into the bedroom, and I see it lying there. “Yes, you did.”
He breathes out heavily and curses. “Are you going to be around for awhile so I can come by and get it?”
“Where are you now?” I ask.
“At the office.”
“Why don’t I drop it off to you?”
I hear only silence on his end for a moment before he answers. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t. I offered.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s no problem. I can head your way now and get some errands done on the way back. Your office is near the Waltham Brew House, isn’t it?”
“It’s just a few blocks further down. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Really, I promise. It’s no problem.”
“That would be great. Thanks.” He then proceeds to give me the address.
I click back to Laura. “That was Ryan. He left his phone here. I’m going to bring it over to him.”
“He left his phone at your place and he asked you to bring it to him?”
“No. I offered. And now I get to see where he works.”
“Swing by here after. I want you to look at more bands for the wedding with me. We can watch them on YouTube.”
“I thought you chose a band?” I ask, placing Ryan’s phone in my purse.
“No. Mom ruled them all out. But some other ones we heard about said we could watch them online. That’s so much more convenient anyway.”
I keep my lack of enthusiasm for this task to myself. “Okay. See you later.”
After feeding a very hungry Tiger, I head out the door. I’ve heard Ryan’s phone ring several times in my purse, and I hope he isn’t missing anything important.
It’s a cool and startlingly bright morning. The sunshine fits my mood perfectly, and I’m pleased when the ride to Waltham is unusually fast due to the absence of the weekday commuters. Soon I’m driving past the Waltham Brew house, and I easily spot the squat three story brick building Ryan described to me. His car is parked by the entrance. There are only a few other cars scattered throughout the lot. I easily find a parking spot, and I head inside the building. Before I can try the door, Ryan appears in the hallway beyond it.
He flashes a smile at me and pushes the door open. “I was watching for you,” he explains. I step past him and enter a dark hallway that smells of disinfectant. I reach into my purse, pull out his phone, and turn around to hand it to him. But he doesn’t just take the phone. He takes my whole hand and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. “Thanks,” he says, and I can hear the word rumble inside his chest.
“Want the tour of The Holodeck?” he asks as he releases me.
“The holodeck?”
“We don’t have an official name yet, but we had to put something on everyone’s employment papers. So, for now, we’re The Holodeck.”
I just stare at him.
“You know, from Star Trek? It’s what they used on the ship to create a holographic environment for entertainment.”
“Uh-huh,” I reply. I don’t think I’ve ever watched an entire episode of Star Trek.
He laughs at me. “You thought I was kidding about the Trekkie thing.”
“I was hoping,” I say dryly. “When are you going to choose a real name?”
He shrugs. “When we have the money to hire some branding people.”
I grin at him. “This really is exciting, Ryan. Your own company.”
He glances down at the rust colored carpet. “If it succeeds, it could be kind of amazing.” By the look on his face, I can see that the “if�
� in that sentence is bolded in his mind.
“Come on. Let me show you around. It will take all of one minute,” he grins. Then he grabs my hand again and leads me down the hall to a set of stairs. We climb to the next floor, and Ryan pushes open the first glass door I see along a short second floor hallway.
I precede him inside, and I take in the open space before me. It’s one big room about the size of a tennis court. There is a line of tinted windows running along the three outer walls and two rows of grey cubicles stretch across the length of the space.
I feel Ryan move beside me. “We don’t have all these filled yet,” he says, motioning to the cubicles. “We’re hoping to hire eight to ten more people in the next couple of months.”
I smile at him. “This is nice.”
“This is bare bones. But it works.” He leads me over to the first cubicle by the door. “This is me.”
I peer inside and see a couple of laptops on the desk. There’s a whiteboard attached to one wall, and I can see it’s completely filled with computer code.
“Hey, Ryan,” someone calls from the other side of the cube wall.
Ryan steps out and looks next door. “What’s up?” he asks.
“Take a look at this.”
“First I’d like you to meet someone.” He motions to me.
I move beside Ryan just as a very tall red head stands in the next cubicle and peers down at me curiously. Ryan is about six feet tall, and this person towers over him. His bright red hair is clipped very short, and he has a deep dimple in his chin. He has a handsome face, and he’s on the thin side with a stooped posture.
“This is my partner Blake. He’s also my housemate.”
“Good to meet you, Andrea.” Blake smiles as he offers me his hand. I recall Ryan telling me about Blake during one of our phone conversations. He said that they’ve known each other for years, and they both sold their condos to raise money for the business. Now, they’re renting a house nearby together.
“Nice to meet you, too.” I shake his hand and pretend not to notice the way he looks me over and then displays his appreciative expression to Ryan.