She knelt beside Shawn, hoping her unease would lessen.
It had been a long time since she’d felt even a hint of interest in a man. Jesse was it. He’d been this handsome, charismatic guy offering to protect and care for her and Shawn. It was less than a year before Jesse let her know she was his property—to do with as he pleased. She believed she deserved the abuse he rained down on her. And as long as Shawn was okay, she could endure it. In the end, she’d been patched and stitched up in almost every urgent care clinic and hospital in Las Vegas. If Miss Millie hadn’t stepped in she’d probably be dead, and who knew what would have happened to Shawn.
Fisher wasn’t Jesse. He was different. The effect he had on her was different. Fisher made her feel like a person, a person worthy of time and attention. He’d become her friend. Shawn’s, too. She might think him handsome. She might worry over him. But she could never, ever, allow herself to form an attachment to this man.
“He’s doing great,” Shawn said, rubbing Chance behind his stubby ear. “You’re the best, Dr. Fisher.”
“I don’t know about that, Shawn. If it wasn’t for your sister, Chance wouldn’t be here,” he argued.
She glanced at Fisher then. It had never made sense to think in terms of what if or I wish, but right then Kylee wished with all her heart things were different. Yes, Fisher was her friend and she was thankful to have him. But there was a part of her, the what-if-I-wish part of her that wanted to let go and love Fisher with all her heart.
Chapter Eight
Kylee checked the neon illuminated clock over the bar for the tenth time in an hour.
Brook was here with Toben. And, from the way they were brushing up against each other and exchanging all-too-obvious looks, they were getting pretty close.
But Fisher and Shawn were still at the Boone Ranch.
She chewed the end of her pencil, trying to pay attention to the operations manual she’d brought home to study.
“What are you reading?” Cutter asked.
“Hey.” She held up the thick black binder.
“You’ll get the hang of it, Kylee. You’ve been there, what, two days?” Cutter smiled.
She shrugged, the sound of Brook’s husky laughter drawing her attention. She frowned.
“What’s up?” Cutter asked, peering around Kylee. “Who’s that and why are you scowlin’ at one of our customers?”
Kylee shook her head. “She’s a surgical resident at the vet hospital.” She didn’t answer the second question. Cutter didn’t need to know she was frowning because she was worrying about Fisher. She was frowning because he could walk in here any second and find Brook hanging on his cousin—and have his heart broken.
“She a bitch?” Cutter asked.
Kylee grinned at Cutter’s directness. “No. She’s nice.”
“Uh-huh.” Cutter nodded. “So this has something to do with Fisher Boone.”
Kylee almost dropped her binder. “What?”
“I saw them in here a few nights back, cuttin’ a rug and that redhead makin’ eyes at Doc Fisher.” Cutter crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her, waiting. “Course, I have cataracts so I could’ve been seein’ things.”
Kylee laughed. “I don’t know what makin’ eyes means, but yes, she and Fisher were here together last week.” She shook her head. “I was hoping she and Fisher might get together.”
Cutter made a dismissive noise. “And now she’s here with Toben?” he asked. “Boy’s got an eye for the ladies.”
There was no disagreeing with that. “Maybe she doesn’t know Fisher’s interested?”
Cutter made the sound again. “Maybe?” He clicked his tongue. “Course she wasn’t invited to the Boones for supper the other night, now, was she? Let me see...” He paused, scratching his chin. “No, I remember clearly it being me and Shawn and all the Boones...and you.”
Kylee shot Cutter a look. “I know he likes her, Cutter.”
“Oh, you do? He said as much?” Cutter waited, his brows arching in question.
He had. She sifted through their conversations...hadn’t he?
“Uh-huh. Now, who’d he take on a tour of the Lodge? And whose little brother is he teaching to ride a horse?” Cutter poked Kylee in the shoulder with his finger.
Kylee stood there, listening to Cutter.
“Why are you so set on fixing him up with her?” He jerked his thumb in Brook’s direction.
The lump in Kylee’s throat made it difficult to say, “She’d be good for him. She’s smart and funny and—”
“What about what he wants? I can tell you right now, it ain’t that little redhead over there.”
Why was Cutter saying this to her? He couldn’t know that it hurt, to have her hopes and dreams put into words. She knew she and Fisher couldn’t happen. “But—”
“No buts, Kylee. I might be old, but I ain’t dead. That boy’s only got eyes for you.” Cutter nodded once. “I’m tired of seein’ the two of you dance around it. When you get to be my age, you figure out you don’t have as much time as you think.”
She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t.” The lump seemed to get bigger. “I... She...”
“We brought burgers,” Shawn announced as he sat at the bar, dropping two brown paper bags on the bar top. “And fries.”
She jumped, so caught up in her conversation with Cutter she hadn’t seen Shawn arrive...or Fisher, standing behind him. The air was officially knocked from her lungs when she saw Fisher. Instead of his usual snap-up plaid shirt, he was wearing a gray T-shirt. It showcased every ripple and angle of his muscles, stretched tight over his thick upper arms. He looked...and she felt...
This was the last thing she needed right now.
“Bring me anything?” Cutter asked.
“In the bag.” Fisher was all smiles, until he saw her. “You okay, Kylee?”
She nodded, unable to avoid his green gaze. She knew Cutter was wrong, but...she wished he was right. She slammed her black binder shut and turned around, filling four cups with ice water. Her eyes burned and her chest felt heavy.
“You should have seen me,” Shawn said.
“How’d it go?” Cutter asked.
“I rode a horse,” Shawn said, the pride in his voice making her turn.
“You did?” She noted the flush on her brother’s cheeks and the huge smile on his face. “Looks like you had a wonderful time.”
Shawn nodded, accepting the ice water. “It was the best.”
“He’s got a knack,” Fisher jumped in.
When she glanced his way he was still studying her. “Which one did you ride?”
“His name was Trigger,” Shawn said.
Fisher sat on the bar stool beside her brother. “Trigger’s a good horse. He and Shawn had that thing. That instant connection.” He grinned.
Brook Marcus’s laughter filled the bar.
“Sounds like someone’s having a good time,” Cutter said.
Kylee held her breath as Shawn and Fisher turned toward the pool table.
“When are we going bowling?” Shawn asked.
“How about next week?” Fisher said, turning back to the bar. If he was upset, there was no sign of it. She felt Cutter nudge her in the ribs, but she ignored him.
Fisher’s gaze locked with hers. “You sure you’re okay?”
Cutter picked up the manual. “Can’t blame her if she’s testy. She’s been reading this thing most of the night. How’s anyone supposed to read all those little, tiny words?”
“You have to learn all that?” Shawn asked, wrinkling his nose.
Fisher took the manual, flipping through it. “I’d be happy to help—”
“I’ve got it.” She snatched the manual back and put it in the cabinet by the sink. She knew the thr
ee of them were staring at her, knew her eyes were stinging again and that she’d snapped at Fisher without provocation.
But everything Cutter had said was mixed up with everything she knew she shouldn’t want and that kiss that should never have happened. She’d worried about Fisher, hurt for him, but he didn’t seem to care that Toben had his arm around Brook. Or that Brook seemed perfectly happy to be manhandled by Toben. She was confused. She was tired. And she was tired of being confused.
“You should come with us next time,” Shawn said, watching her.
“I have to work,” she answered quickly.
“It doesn’t have to be soon,” Shawn argued. “I just think you’d like it.”
“You’re off this weekend,” Cutter spoke up.
“I’m supposed to work—”
“No, now, Bobby called and said he needed the extra cash. He’s got seniority.” Cutter shook his head. “Besides, you’ve got two jobs now. You need a break, Kylee, or you’ll end up downright crabby, like me.”
Shawn reached over and took her hand. “We can do something after you get off work.”
“Okay,” she agreed. There was no way she could turn him down.
“We could go riding?” Shawn asked.
“We’ll see,” she murmured. “You guys can sit at a table and eat, if you want.” Anything that would put space between her and Fisher—and that shirt.
Shawn and Cutter carried the food and drinks to a table, but Fisher stayed put.
“What’s wrong?” Fisher frowned, concern lining his features.
She sighed, shaking her head. “It’s been a long week.”
“Agreed.” He smiled at her. “Shawn had a really good time, Kylee. He’s a natural cowboy.”
“I’m okay with that. Well...as long as he’s not a Mr. Belt Buckle kind of cowboy,” she clarified.
He grinned. “And you thought my technique needed work.”
Right. The technique she’d offered to help him with...
She looked at Brook, who looked ready to kiss Toben. Looked like it might be too late for Fisher. “I’m sorry about Brook,” she said, searching his face.
He chuckled, the corner of his mouth tilting up. “You were the only one who thought we’d be good together.”
She paused, sifting through his words. “You would be good together.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Kylee, I guess it’s possible, but since neither one of us are interested, it’s not really probable.”
That lump was back in her throat again. “But...” She shouldn’t think about the kiss. “You and I...” She shouldn’t remember the way his hands felt against her face. “I asked you what you wanted to do...” She couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt to be in his arms.
He nodded. “You did.” His jaw was clenched tight, the slight flare of his nostrils confusing her. “Did you ever stop to think that I did what I wanted to do?”
She shook her head, lowering her voice to an almost whisper. “You kissed me.”
“Exactly.” He gazed at her mouth. “And I’ve been wanting to do it again ever since.”
Just like that, her world was upside down. His words were the most wonderful, terrifying thing she’d ever heard in her life. “You do?”
He nodded. “I’d like to take you out on a date, Kylee.”
This was wrong, this was bad. He had to stop talking. Or she needed to walk away. Something. Anything to make this...this hope go away. Because hoping and wanting was dangerous—she knew that. But she also knew she’d never wanted anything the way she wanted Fisher Boone. And that meant losing him would be the worst thing ever. She shook her head. “No.” She spoke clearly.
“No?” The corner of his mouth kicked up but there was no denying the surprise on his handsome face. “Just like that? So, you were fine when you thought I was kissing you to kiss Brook. But you won’t let me kiss you?”
She leaned forward. “Can you keep your voice down, please?”
He leaned forward, too, so close to her she could see the shades of gold and brown in his eyes. It was getting very hard to breathe—to think.
“You didn’t like kissing me, Kylee? Because I’ve thought about it every damn day since.” His eyes bored into hers, his voice low and soothing—setting off all sorts of alarming tingles and shivers. “I don’t know what you’ve been through but I know it was bad enough to make you cautious about things—”
“You’re right,” she hissed, desperate to stop him. Thinking about the past was hard enough. There was no way she’d talk to him about it. “You don’t know. And I’m glad. But I’m telling you right now, I’m not the right girl for you.”
He was frowning now. “Why? Why won’t you give me a chance?”
“I can’t.” She held up her hand, adding, “I can’t do...this. I... People like you don’t stay with people like me.” She swallowed. “Shawn and I are figuring things out—on our own. We need to be on our own.”
A memory of the Boones, of how close and supportive the family was, left her aching. Hope, doubt, happiness and grief—her emotions were all over the place. But one thing hadn’t changed. She needed to hold on to that.
“You’re a good guy, Fisher. Trust me when I say, you deserve better. My answer is no and that’s not going to change. I mean it. So, please, don’t ask again.” She grabbed a tray and hurried off to clear tables before she said something she’d really regret. Something like yes.
* * *
FISHER WATCHED HER busing the tables. She moved with short, jerky movements, a crease between her brows and her mouth pressed tight. Why was she angry? He hadn’t said anything that would get her riled up. Unless asking her on a date was offensive? He frowned.
“Good burgers,” Cutter mumbled around his mouthful.
Fisher nodded, his gaze never leaving Kylee. She could be mad. Hell, he was mad. Why had she dismissed him so quickly? He knew she’d felt what he felt. He knew that kiss had affected her as much as it had affected him. Or maybe he’d just wanted that to be the case.
“She’s tough,” Shawn said.
Fisher looked at the boy. Shawn was watching his sister, a thoughtful expression on his face.
“What do you mean, she’s tough?” Fisher asked.
“To figure out,” Shawn explained.
He and Cutter nodded in agreement.
“Good worker,” Cutter said. “Better sister than mine, that’s for damn sure. Millie was a pain in my backside until she up and married Virgil Taylor and moved out of state. Never did understand why she and Virgil moved to the big city. He was always a do-gooder. Why he picked some place so far away to settle down is beyond me. Guess he thought he could do more good there.”
“Miss her?” Shawn asked.
Cutter shrugged. “We talk on the phone. She sends me letters—still nagging me.”
“I’d miss Kylee,” Shawn murmured, popping several french fries into his mouth.
Fisher could understand that. He’d miss Renata if she ever left Stonewall Crossing. “You ever go visit her?” Fisher asked. He didn’t know much about Millie, except she’d helped Shawn and Kylee. That made him a fan.
“Me? In Las Vegas?” Cutter’s wheezing croak of a laugh spoke for itself.
“You and Miss Millie are a lot alike,” Shawn said. “If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for you, we couldn’t stay in Stonewall Crossing.”
“You ever miss Las Vegas?” Fisher asked, curious. He and Shawn hadn’t spent much time talking about anything other than horses. The boy had a quick mind. Once he’d learned something new, he was on to something else. But he, like Kylee, seemed wary of his past. He didn’t want to push the boy, but he could sure use some insight into the woman he was falling for.
“Some of the people...maybe.” Sha
wn shrugged. “But I know it’s better here.”
“Course it is,” Cutter agreed.
Fisher caught Shawn’s grin, noting the similarities between the boy and his sister. They had the same blue eyes and dark hair. But where Shawn was willing to smile and try new things, he knew Kylee struggled. He watched her long hair spill over her shoulder as she wiped off a tabletop.
“You like her? Want to date her...or be her boyfriend?” Shawn asked, drawing Fisher’s attention. The boy’s gaze was intent, searching. “My sister, I mean?”
Fisher looked at Cutter, then Kylee, then Shawn. He didn’t lie, no matter what. And Shawn had asked him a direct question. Seemed like the best course of action was to give him a direct answer. “Yes.”
“Thought so.” Shawn nodded. “Is that why you’re nice to me?”
Fisher almost choked on his water. “No.” He stared at the boy. “You’re a good kid. I have nephews. I have younger brothers.” He shrugged. “There are things you want to learn and do that I can help you with.”
Shawn nodded. “Making sure. A lot of times people are nice or do things because they’re after something.”
Cutter and Fisher exchanged a look.
“I guess they do,” Fisher reluctantly agreed. “But I’m not being nice to you because I like your sister. I give you my word on that.” He nodded, holding the boy’s gaze. When Shawn nodded in return Fisher added, “But I guess it can’t hurt.” He grinned at Shawn, who smiled right back.
“Too bad she won’t give you the time of day,” Cutter teased.
Fisher scowled at him.
“I’ve never seen a fella try so hard,” Cutter continued.
“People here are different. The people we knew weren’t like you. Kylee is sort of...suspicious because of that. She can’t relax. She’s still...ready all the time.” Shawn’s voice was low.
“Ready for what?” Fisher asked.
“To run.” Shawn dropped the french fries onto his burger wrapper. “It was real hard. She...she had to take care of me. This guy...” Shawn’s expression grew remote. Fisher had seen the same expression—almost a lack of expression—on Kylee’s face more than once.
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