by David Roche
@davidlrroche
Acknowledgements
I’d like to thank Scott Pack for putting up working with me in many of the same companies for the best part of twenty-five years and still agreeing to edit this book; to Dave Cornmell for his fantastic illustrations that bring the poems to life and for putting up with my endless, pedantic requests; to everyone at Unbound for making the book happen and for it looking so lovely; to Rokeby School for inspiring me to write the first poem in order to ameliorate the boredom of attending repetitive Poetry Recitation evenings as a parent; to Mr Philips, the English teacher there at the time, who was both understanding and appreciative of my anonymous efforts; to my sons who performed a few of these poems with great gusto and even prize-winning form; to my wife for kicking my arse when needed; but most of all to everyone who supported my book by pledging and making it happen, and particularly to the book’s patron, chicken! newspaper and Ken Wilson-Max – I do hope that you enjoy it.
Supporters
Unbound is a new kind of publishing house. Our books are funded directly by readers. This was a very popular idea during the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. Now we have revived it for the internet age. It allows authors to write the books they really want to write and readers to support the books they would most like to see published.
The names listed below are of readers who have pledged their support and made this book happen. If you’d like to join them, visit www.unbound.com.
Andrew Anderson
Andy Arundell
Paddy Atkinson
John Auckland
Richard Barham
Emma Beaumont
John Beavan-Vaughan
Meera Bedi
Clarey Bee
John Bond
Doug Bone
Emma Bourne
Tim Brownlow
Duncan Bruce-Lockhart
Eugene Buckley
Cortina Butler
Joanna Carpenter
Calum Chace
Ed Christie
Nicholas Clee
Richard Colyer
Stephen Conway
Lucy Cooper
Simon Coughlin
Peter Cullinan
Joseph Cunningham
Beverley Davies
Eliza and Martha Davies
Tim Davies
Paivi Dubois
Plum Duff
Tanya Dunbar
Pat Edney
Lisa Elder
Geoff Ellis
Joanna Ellis
Paul English
Tracey Flashman
Josette Fontaina
Charlie Foreman
Susanna Frayn
Minna Fry
Marzia Ghiselli
Martyn Gibbs
Mary Gibson
Alan Giles
Rina Gill
Corinne Gotch
Jonathan Gould
Eric Green
Gordon Gregory
Stephane Groud
Lucy Hale
Alex Hardy
Giles Harris
Henrietta Heald
Fran Hellawell
Jo Henry
David Hicks
Alex Hippisley-Cox
Jamie Hodder-Williams
Marc Hull
Michael Humphries
Hermione Ireland
Carmen Jansz
Annie Jenkins
Jane Johnson
Paul Johnson
Trevor Johnson
Simon Juden
Aisha Kalkisheva
Heikki Kari
Ilkka Kari
Suzanne Kavanagh
Annette Kelly
Fiona Kennedy
Dan Kieran
Jasmin Kirkbride
David Kohn
James Kyle
Raili Lampola
Maxine Lister
Karen Little
Jonathan Lloyd
Helen Loeb
Melanie Loeb
My Ly
Stuart Macdonald
Seonaid Mackenzie
Koukla MacLehose
Kerr MacRae
Steve Mahoney
Riku Makinen
Riikka Mäkinen
John Makinson
Claire Malcolm
Gautam Malkani
Sarah Massey
Roger Mavity
Carolyn Mays
Helen McAleer
Neil McEwan
Pat McGroin & Mike Hunt
Philomena McManus
Lucy Metcalfe
Lesley Miles
Lisa Milton
John Mitchinson
Deena Mobbs
Alyson Montgomery
Luke Morley
Toby Mundy
Hamzah Munif
Caroline Murphy
Heidi Murphy
Tuija Murray
Carlo Navato
Michael Neil
Beverley Newman
Kes Nielsen
Meredith Niles
Federica Nistri
Beryl O’Brien
Natalie O’Neill
Tom Owens
Scott Pack
Bryan Park
Tim Parrack
Jane Partridge
James Paul
Alexandra Pett
Justin Pollard
Miles Poynton
Ross Prideaux
Caroline Proud
Jake Pugh
Aapo Rekiaro
Alice Rendle
Claire Reynolds
Anthea Robertson
Ben Redmond Roche
Chris Roche
Daniel Redmond Roche
Max Roche
Onna Roche
Patrick Roche
Stuart Rowe
Barbara Rozycki
Anita Russell
Trudi Ryan
Mark Samuelson
Ruth Savill
Katriina Serenius
Justin Serrano, Jr.
Hugh Shanks
Justine Solomons
Tom Stevenson
Peter Straus
Roger Tagholm
Jane Tappuni
Jacks Thomas
Stephanie Thwaites
Nick Turnbull
Anni Vartola
Malcolm Wall
Glen Ward
Fiona Wheeler
James Wood
Alex Woodhouse
Hamish Woodhouse
Linda Wootton
Andrew Wynd
Alan Young
To my family, without whom none of this would be plausible
With special thanks to chicken! newspaper, a patron of this book
This edition first published in 2017
Unbound
6th Floor Mutual House, 70 Conduit Street, London W1S 2GF
www.unbound.com
All rights reserved
© David Roche, 2017
The right of David Roche to be identified as the author of this work
has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988. No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Text Design by PDQ
Art direction by Mecob
Illustrations © Dave Cornmell
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-78352-390-0 (trade hbk)
ISBN 978-1-78352-391-7 (ebook)
ISBN 978-1-78352-389-4 (limited edition)