by Louise Bay
I grabbed a clip from the sink and piled her hair into it as best I could. I knelt down beside her and continued to rub her back.
I was going to be a father. We were going to be parents. This was perfect. Our kids would be the same age as Haven and Jake’s. There was nothing to be upset about.
I wanted to ask her a million questions, but she wasn’t in a position to answer any of them.
Eventually the heaving slowed, and one-handed, so my hand didn’t leave her back, I managed to fill a glass with water.
“Here, drink this,” I said softly, sitting back down. “Small sips.”
She took the glass from me. “I feel disgusting.”
Silently, she stood and washed her face and cleaned her teeth. My eyes didn’t leave her for a second.
“Well, you look beautiful.” I looked at her. I wanted her to understand that I knew without actually saying so. “You’re glowing.”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t deliberate, and I know you don’t want—you don’t have to be involved.”
I pulled her onto my lap. “What on earth do you have to be sorry for?”
“I must have messed up my pills or something. I just . . .”
“You’re unhappy?” The thought that she didn’t want this baby, our baby, made my heart twist. She would make an awesome mother.
“I . . . I . . . I’m sorry, but no, I’m not.”
“Why do you keep apologizing? Ashleigh, if—”
“I can do this on my own though, Luke. I don’t expect you to—” She started to cry. I hated to see her so upset.
“Why on earth . . . Don’t you love me? I don’t understand. You’re pregnant; we’re pregnant.”
“I know that it’s not what you want. I didn’t try and trap you, I can’t have you think that, but I can’t get rid of this baby.”
“Get rid? What the—” I got to my feet, pulled Ashleigh into my arms and carried her back into our bedroom. “You’re making no sense. Why would I think you tried to trap me?”
“Because you don’t want to get married and—”
Things were starting to come into focus. She thought because I hadn’t wanted to marry Emma that I didn’t want to get married at all.
“I didn’t want to marry Emma.”
“I know. And I respect that. It’s always been clear—you’ve not been ambiguous about anything.”
She watched me as I went back into the bathroom, opened the cupboard and reached between the towels to find her ring. Maybe taking positive action would help clarify my feelings.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I can do this on my own. You don’t even need to pay—”
“Stop,” I said as I lay down beside her, placing the blue velvet box between us. She followed my gaze until her eyes found the box.
She glanced at my face, then down again.
“What? How did you know? I’ve not even told Haven—”
“Do you want to see?”
She took a sharp breath. “I don’t understand; if you just found—”
I snapped the box open.
Her eyes widened. “It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you, but yes, it is. Ashleigh Franklin, will you marry me?”
She began to smile but then something shifted and tears started to fall, and she covered her face with her hands.
“Are you proposing to make me happy and because I’m pregnant? Because, if you are, one day you’ll hate me if I say yes to you now.”
She thought I didn’t want a life with her and our kids? Those hormones were raging already.
“I found out that you were pregnant about twenty minutes ago when you started vomiting. We’ll talk about that another time. I don’t like us to have secrets from each other. I don’t want to marry you just because you’re pregnant. I just want to marry you. I’ve wanted you to be my wife since I kissed you, maybe even before then.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and trailed my thumb across her lips. I couldn’t stop touching her, not for a second. “I’ve been terrified to propose because you’re so concerned that we’re moving too fast. I’m not. I’d marry you tomorrow if it was up to me. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to waste a second now we’re together. I want to have enough kids with you that we can have our own family rugby team.” I couldn’t believe I was going to be a father. We were going to be awesome parents. “I want the whole thing with you. I told you—you’ve changed who I am for the better. I want forever with you. You don’t get to leave me. Not now, not ever.”
She blinked, long, slow blinks, a question forming. “But . . . you never wanted—”
“I’ve never wanted to get married before you, you’re right. You just don’t get how you make it all different for me, do you? I’ve never wanted it before because it wasn’t with you. You’re the person that makes me want all this stuff.”
She reached up and pressed her palm against my cheek.
“When did you buy it?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks ago.”
“And you’ve not asked me yet because . . .”
“Because I knew how freaked out you were about me wanting to move in together so quickly. I thought if I asked you to be my wife, you might have a stroke. I wanted to go at your pace. I was trying to be patient.”
“I see.”
“What do you see?” She shrugged. “You’re going to leave me hanging?” I asked.
The corners of her mouth twitched. “I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I?” And then she frowned.
“Never.” This wasn’t what I’d planned; I’d wanted this to be a big moment. But I guess it was in other ways.
“Ashleigh Franklin, will you be my wife?” I pulled the ring out of the box and took her hand.
“It’s too beautiful.”
“Do you like it? I saw it and then couldn’t imagine you in anything else.”
“I love it. It’s more me than I could ever have imagined.”
“That’s because you just don’t know how beautiful you are.”
Ashleigh
I wasn’t sure if it was the hormones making my head fuzzy, or the gigantic sapphire Luke slipped onto my left ring finger. It fit perfectly. Not thirty minutes ago, I’d been about to move back to my flat, prepared to be a single mother. Now the love of my life had proposed. My heart was too big for my chest. Was it possible to be this happy?
Things had changed, but I had failed to realize the extent of the shift. He had bought a ring for me—wanted to be my husband—and had barely missed a beat when he’d realized I was pregnant. In fact, he was more excited that I was. He was a different Luke in those moments. As much as I thought I’d got to a place where I could trust his feelings for me, I’d never really understood how deep they went . . . until now.
“Hey,” he said, tipping my chin up toward him.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Luke.”
“I’m very pleased to hear it.”
He pressed his lips against mine, and I threaded my hands into his hair. We were going to be together as I’d always wanted. He pulled back and looked down between us. “How long have you known?” He pushed up my top, and his fingers fumbled at the zip on my jeans. I lay on my back as he exposed my belly and stared at it as if he was imagining what grew inside.
“I found out yesterday. I realized something was off during dinner the night before, but I took the test at work. I know the timing isn’t ideal, but—”
“The timing is perfect. I know you have business school starting, but you’ll be through the first year before you have the baby.”
I started to giggle. “I may have to defer.”
“No, we’ll make it work. I think it would be good to be pregnant in all those lectures. They say you should play Mozart to babies in the womb to make kids more intelligent. Imagine what lectures on game theory might do. We’re going to raise a superhero.”
I started to laugh. “Well, as long as we’re not creating impossibly high expectations for the kid.”
>
He kissed my belly. “I’m so excited. The baby, you marrying me, it’s all so perfect.” He looked at me. “But we’re going to have to move. And I’ll need to get a car. Shall we find a place in the country?”
Apparently, Luke had gone from being scared of change to welcoming it. “Let’s just take one step at a time, hey?”
He slouched back on the bed.
“Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”
I propped myself up on my elbow and stroked his chest.
“If you ever left me, it would break me.” He stared up at the ceiling as he spoke.
I reached across and dropped a kiss on his jaw. “I’m not going anywhere. I said yes when you proposed, silly.” What had gotten in his head?
“You were going to go. Before. You were just going to disappear without any explanation. I can’t ask you to marry me again if we’re already married when you next freak out. What happens if you try to leave again?”
My earlier nausea returned, but I doubted it had anything to do with the pregnancy this time. “I thought that was what you wanted. Or what you would want when you found out about the baby. I didn’t want to guilt you into sticking by me. I didn’t want you to think you were trapped.”
“Why would being with you ever be a trap? I love you, Ashleigh, and I have to know that you’re never going to leave me. That you’re never going to try and do what’s best for me without asking me.”
“Never? Like, not pick up your favorite beer or coconut water while I’m shopping? Or start giving you a blow job while you’re sleeping?” I grinned at him and let my hand drift down his chest and circle his cock.
“I’m serious, Ashleigh. You have to promise to talk to me, or I’m going to drive myself crazy waiting for you to leave me again.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, my heart aching at his hurt.
“Don’t do it again.”
“I promise.”
I trailed my fingers over his chest, then lower and began to unzip his jeans. I wanted him to feel the promise in my touch. He expanded beneath my hand. “I want you so much it scares me,” I whispered.
“Do you get that I feel it just as much as you?” he asked. The effort he put into keeping his voice steady showed in his tight jaw.
“I think I do. Now.”
He snapped his eyes shut and groaned, pulsing his hips toward my fist.
I’d been too busy with my own feelings to understand what Luke loving me meant. I wanted to make him feel good, safe—like I would never leave. But he was right; I’d assumed the worst—that he wouldn’t need me as much as I needed him. I’d skipped past the bit where we told each other how we were feeling. I hadn’t trusted him that things were different between us now, that this wasn’t an unrequited love affair anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should never have seen leaving as an option.”
He sat up, took off my jeans with lightning speed and pulled me across him so I sat facing him, straddling his hips, our bodies brushing against each other.
“No, you shouldn’t have.” He smoothed his hands across my lower back and down over my ass, urging me closer. I slid over his cock, feeling the hardness rub through my underwear against my clit. Nobody could make me feel this way. He cracked me open and seeped inside every part of me.
“I’m learning. This adjustment . . . between us, I had to get used to it too. I guess I’m still adjusting.” I dipped my head forward and placed a small kiss on the edge of his mouth.
“Let’s learn together, baby. Don’t shut me out. Don’t be doing pregnancy tests without me. I want to share all that shit with you.”
“I promise.”
He twisted a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “Good.” His face broke out into his most mischievous grin as he gripped my hips and pressed his thumbs under my hips. “And you’re not saying that because you want me to make you come?”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, my nipples grazing his hard chest. “Mostly no.”
“Incorrigible.” He grunted as he pushed me over his cock. I needed my underwear off in a hurry.
Suddenly, he paused. “Shit, are we okay to have sex?”
I frowned. “You going to go nine months without? Of course we’re okay.”
“I’ll be gentle,” he whispered.
“You better not be.”
He flipped me to my back and trailed his lips down my body, taking my panties as he went. I stripped off my top and bra.
He grinned against my thigh then pushed his tongue down into my slit. I sank into the mattress, his breath wiping away any last flickers of anxiety. He hummed against my sensitive flesh as his tongue stroked and circled, my skin sending tiny vibrations of pleasure to dance outward along my thighs. My back arched, the intensity taking over my body.
I rocked against his mouth, and he slid two fingers into me as his tongue concentrated on my clit. “You taste like love,” he murmured.
“You are so good at this.”
“We are so good at this.” Did he mean sex, or did he mean us? Both, perhaps.
I needed to touch him, and he knew it. His thumb replaced his mouth, and he crawled up my body, allowing me to reach around him and press my palms against his hard, muscular back.
He watched me as I writhed against his touch, almost studying the reaction I had as he slowed his fingers and then sped up; he rubbed his thumb one way and then the other. “So, good, yes.”
“Tell me,”
“Like that,” I said. The pressure against my clit was perfect, and his fingers twisted inside me.
“Like this?” He repeated the movement.
“Oh God, Luke, yes.” He loved to hear me when he touched me, when he was inside me—as if there could be the slightest doubt of the effect his body had on mine.
Luke
I wasn’t sure what it was that was sending jolts of pleasure right to my cock. It was difficult to separate the sensation of Ashleigh’s pussy clamped around my dick from the sight of her tits bobbing in front of me, tantalizing, begging to be touched. Perhaps it was her hair wrapped around my hand, as I tipped her head back and licked her neck, eliciting a gasp. It was all of those things, but most of all it was the fact that she finally got how I felt about her. Somehow, that truth had been only half revealed to her . . . until today. Before, she’d never let herself open her eyes to the reality that whatever life had in store for us, we would be together. It had always been good between us, but it was as if a final, unseen veil between us had been lifted, and I felt closer to her than ever.
She sank back down onto me and flicked her hips. Fuck, she could be wicked.
She watched me as she gathered her breasts in her hands, pushing them up and together. Jesus, the sight of her tight pink nipples, and the knowledge of how they felt in my mouth made my spine fizz. I had to get myself together, or she was going to make me come too soon. I clasped my hands across her back and flipped her over so I was over her, still inside her.
“You’re driving me crazy.”
“Because I love your cock so much?”
I groaned, pulling away from her. There was nothing better than knowing that your wife-to-be worshipped your cock.
“It loves you back, baby,” I said as I stabbed back inside her. She tightened in response.
“Yes,” she moaned.
“Tell me.”
I focused on her words, the so good, so deep, right there, as the booming of my orgasm echoed in the distance, getting louder and louder.
She pressed her fingers into my shoulders, her nails biting into the skin. How could she know exactly how my body worked? That I needed the sharp to spark the pleasure? I dipped my head and licked sloppily over her lips, desperate for a taste of her. Fuck. Her hips tilted up to meet mine as she whispered, “So deep, I need you, don’t be gentle.”
I pulled back and lifted her leg over my shoulder, going in deeper as if I were chasing something.
“Fuck, baby.”
She reached o
ver her head, grabbing at the pillows as I watched her flat stomach ripple and her mouth form a perfect “O”.
There was nothing better than giving your wife-to-be an orgasm that showed across her whole body.
Her pussy undulated around my cock, tearing my climax from me.
She was my world.
One Week Later—Luke
“The District Line? I didn’t even know it was open at the weekend. We have to be at Sunday dinner by two. This isn’t just a ruse so you don’t have to tell Haven you’re pregnant and engaged, is it?” I squeezed her hand.
“I can’t wait to tell Haven. In fact, I want to tell everyone. I can’t believe I’ve kept it a secret for a week,” she said.
She’d told me we should be prepared for the cold, so as well as looking like we were wintering in Moscow, Ashleigh had insisted we bring an overnight bag full of blankets. My girl was losing it.
“Isn’t the cold bad for the baby?”
“How can I be cold when I have you to keep me warm?”
I shook my head and pulled on the sides of her woolen hat, bringing it down over her eyes.
As the tube came to the next stop, she squeezed my arm and stood. I followed her, picking up our overnight bag. I felt a complete tool. Kew Gardens? This was where she wanted to go?
She insisted on paying our entrance fee and seemed to know where she was going. Hand in hand, we passed the palm house and headed toward some trees. The open, grassy spaces were almost deserted, everyone else sensible enough to stay home on a day like today. But despite the cold, the sun was shining, and the sky was a beautiful, bright blue. After what seemed like forever, she stopped abruptly under a leafless tree and reached for the bag, getting out all the blankets and laying two on the ground before sitting and beckoning me to do the same. I huddled down behind her, pulling her close to me as she pulled the remaining blanket around us. She was bat-shit crazy. What I wouldn’t do to make this woman happy.
I rested against the trunk of the tree we were under, and Ashleigh turned her head to look at me. The cold had made her cheeks pink. She looked so young, so fresh.
“Luke, I fell in love with you one summer under a magnolia tree, and I’ve been in love with you ever since. But despite my heart having been yours for so long, I’ve given you reason to doubt me. I’ve pushed you away and not trusted you, not thought it was possible that what you felt for me could be anything close to what I feel for you. Well, I wanted to bring you back to where it all began for me. And say, winter or summer, rain or shine, whether the magnolia trees are in bloom or not, I will love you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”