“There’s a first aid kit by the door,” I announced. When no one moved, I added, “Gennie, go grab it for me.” As I spoke, a memory rushed up to greet me. Something I hadn’t thought of in years, from my time on board the Starship Bastion, back when a friend of mine had died from a much more severe head wound. It was a lifetime ago, but still bile rose in my throat.
But those same memories were the ones that kept me moving, directing the drunken and not all that cooperative crowd as I patched Vince up and got him sitting. The patient is the first priority. Until I knew he was okay, there was no room for my own feelings.
But soon enough, Vince was up, insisting he was fine. I insisted on having his buddies bring him back home, which seemed to signal the end of the party for everyone else as well.
There was no buzz-kill quite like seeing the potential consequences of drinking up close and personal.
"Hey," a soft voice came from behind me as I was stooped over on the ground, cleaning up the first-aid kit I'd commandeered. I looked up to see Tommen standing over me before he offered me a hand to help me to my feet. "You were incredible. How did you know how to do that?"
I opened my mouth to explain that I'd once been a medic on a starship before realizing that that was the very last thing I wanted to say. Tari Maiz from Summerset had never been on a starship in her life. "I had to take a bunch of first-aid classes for an old job. And I found it interesting, so I picked up a few more things along the way. Just kind of learning whatever I could, hoping that maybe it would come in handy and help me do some good someday."
Tommen nodded. "That sounds like you."
"What do you mean?" I could feel myself blushing at the way he was watching me, though I didn't understand the meaning behind it. "How do you even know what I sound like?" I made a face, knowing my question didn't make any more sense than the statement that had prompted it.
"Oh, come on," he said. I shook my head. I had no clue what he was talking about. "You, and studying. Everyone knows about what happened with Archivist Credence earlier this year. And I always see you in the stacks, always with your nose in a book."
I frowned a little, because I certainly hadn't noticed him noticing me. But to be fair, when I was reading I really didn't have much of a sense of the world around me.
"Honestly, I was little surprised that you didn't rank higher on the final scoring."
"That's a little rude to say," I said aloud, not even bothering to feel embarrassed. "Well, I thought you..." My statement tapered off, since I really couldn't come up with anything insulting to fire back at him. He had come out at the top of our class, though I wasn't convinced I couldn't have beaten him if I'd really put my mind to it.
Tommen stammered, no discernible words coming out of his mouth. "I just meant... You always just come across as this, I don't know, force to be reckoned with. You obviously know your stuff, and you proved that again today."
I shrugged, not sure how to explain myself. "I don't really test well," I finally said because it was the best I could come up with.
"There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure that the librarians have still noticed you, test scores or otherwise. I know I have."
For second, I just stared at him, noticing the slightly lighter circle of brown on the outside of his irises, while trying to figure out how I could respond to what he said.
And wishing I hadn't heard the part about how he was sure I'd be noticed by anyone other than him. I wasn't supposed to be getting noticed at all. "Oh come on. What about you? I spotted where your name was on that list today. You are probably the smartest guy in the room tonight. You're the one that everyone is sure to be talking about.”
To my surprise, Tommen grinned. "I know right? It's cool."
I laughed. "Yeah, it's cool." I wanted to give him a hard time for the obnoxiously proud smile he was beaming my way, but he had every right to be proud of himself. He had more to celebrate that night than any one of us.
"Want to know a secret?" he asked, not once taking his eyes off mine. Slowly, I nodded. "Before this, I was never much of a student. Didn't have the concentration for it or the interest. I always knew I could do well if I applied myself, but had zero interest in putting any of my time or effort into academics. Knowing I could was enough."
"What changed?" I asked.
"This place," he answered, dropping his voice to a near whisper. "When I was accepted, in spite of everything, I knew I had to change how I did things. This place deserves so much more than my bare minimum effort. And because I'd skated by for so long, I knew it was time to really pay my dues. It's four years, right? I can do anything for four years. And in a way, I felt like I owed it to myself to at least see what I was capable of. So that's what I've been doing, and so far it's working out okay.”
Around us, the last remaining partygoers were finally emptying out of the cafeteria. I looked around, but there was no sign of either Steph or Gennie. Which probably meant I'd be walking home on my own that night. "I should probably bring this up to the front office and request a new one for down here. You never know when someone else is going to need it." I glanced down at the first aid kit so he knew what I was gabbling about.
"I'll come with you. You know those crazy librarians, always getting into some trouble or another."
I snorted out a laugh and closed the clasps of the box.
Together we walked back upstairs and I realized that this was the latest I'd ever been in the Archive. Our party had lasted well into the night, probably far later than it should have. The doors were technically still open for anyone to come inside, more like a church than a public building. But very few people bothered to come out in the middle of the night for a little reading. I couldn't even see any other librarians on shift. It felt like Tommen and I were completely alone in the Archive.
"This is weird," Tommen whispered. "Kind of a little creepy."
I looked over at him, surprised. "The Archive isn't creepy! This is incredible. I love it here."
Tommen tilted his head, studying me. "You really do, don't you?"
"Don't you?" I was remembering back to what he told me only minutes before about feeling that the Archive deserved his very best.
"I do. I don't think any of us would be here if we didn't, at least not after the year we had. But I like it a lot better during the day, when there are people here reading books or studying. It feels more alive to me then. Or maybe I just don't like being alone." Tommen left me unsure of how to respond to his blatantly vulnerable statement. I wasn't really used to anyone opening up to me like this. Especially someone I'd only had a few conversations with. Already, I felt like a bit of a jerk, knowing I could never respond in kind.
"The Archive always feels alive to me," I confessed. It feels like this place almost has a pulse of its own. Something vibrant and real. There are times when I feel like the walls of this place are watching me, watching all us." Tommen gave me a wry look. "Not a creepy way," I chided. "Like watching over us. And maybe learning from us."
Tommen snickered, the sound cute and childish, and hinting that he was perhaps a little drunker than I first realized. "Don't let Keeper Dorset hear you say that. I'm sure she'd tell you that we learn from the Archive and not the other way around."
"Well, she would know best. But for now, I think I'm allowed to keep a few theories of my own. Promise you won't tell me?"
In the space of an instant, Tommen’s expression went from open to serious. "You have my most solemn vow."
I burst out laughing, the sound ringing through the silence of the Archive as we approached the lobby.
"What? You're mocking my most solemn vow?"
I shook my head enthusiastically, nearly giddy even though I couldn’t put a name to why. "Never."
Tommen remained serious for the span of several heartbeats, and I started to think that maybe he really was upset with me, but then he started laughing as well, far louder than I had been.
“Shhhh,” I hissed. "The Archive will he
ar you." But my comment only made Tommen laughed louder. The sound was deep and infectious. Soon, the two of us were giggling like maniacs and I felt all the tension easing from exams, from staying below the radar, from Vince's head wound melt away. I felt freer than I had since I'd first arrived in Sanctum.
But too soon, the moment was over. A stern looking librarian met us at the front desk and shushed us for real. I handed over the first-aid kit as well as gave a brief rundown of what had happened in the cafeteria, conveniently leaving out that any alcohol had been involved.
"Heading home?" I asked Tommen as the two of us walked in unison toward the front doors of the building.
"That's the plan. I have like a million books I want to read in the next four days before I have to start worrying about studying again."
"Let me know if you come across anything good, I'm always looking for recommendations. With literally every option in the world, it can be hard to narrow down what I want to read next."
Tommen bobbed his head up and down, looking completely earnest. "I know exactly what you mean."
The two of us stepped out into the crisp summery air. The weather in Sanctum never got that cold and I'd seen little more than a few flakes of snow falling from the sky during the winter, but at this time of year it seemed that the weather was always deliciously comfortable.
"Well, I guess as of next week we’ll be seeing more of each other." I tried to hide just how exciting that possibility had become in the last few minutes. While our second year would involve a lot of the same things that are first year had, with both time in the library and endless classes, we would also be getting deeper into some of the topics I was most excited to cover. Or at least that was the impression I'd gotten from constantly hounding second and third year students about their own experiences.
"Well, I'll be sure to have those recommendations ready for you."
"Be sure that you do," I said with mock seriousness.
I was about to take my first step down toward the street when I noticed two forms sitting side-by-side, heads leaning close toward one another, about halfway down. At first I didn’t think much of it, but the closer I got to the two, who were clearly talking in hushed voices, whispering to one another, the more I recognized their forms.
“There you guys are,” I said, a little too loud, announcing my presence. Steph and Gennie both jerked upward at once, taking me in with guilty expressions on their faces.
“Hey,” Steph said after a second. “There you are.”
I looked over at Tommen who didn’t seem nearly as confused by this as I felt. For some reason, it seemed like I’d walked in on something that I wasn’t supposed to, when really two friends sitting on the steps of the Archive after a party wasn’t strange at all.
“I guess I’ll get going,” Tommen said after we all just stayed frozen in place for a minute too long, just looking at one another. “I’ll see you guys on Monday.”
And with that he was gone. I expected to get the third-degree from my friends as soon as he was out of earshot, but instead the conversation turned back to the Archive, our classes, and anything other than the events of that night as the three of us walked back toward Porter House, exhausted, but happy.
Steph disappeared into her room almost as soon as we made it inside, so I followed suit and did the same, but I felt surprisingly awake considering the night I’d had.
Still, I knew I’d be out as soon as my head hit the pillow, my body needing rest more than anything else.
I left a post-it note on my night stand, reminding me to call and check in after Vince in the morning, wondering if maybe I should have done more.
But Tommen had said I’d been great, and suddenly, in my books, that counted for a lot.
Chapter 9
If there was one thing besides books that the Archive had an ample supply of it was places to curl up and read. Or more specifically, to study.
I knew this all too well as studying had become an even bigger part of my life during my second year as eating or sleeping. Actually, it was probably safe to say that most days I was studying more than I was sleeping.
In part, it was because once we reached our third year we would get more hands-on experience in each of the orders, transitioning from the theoretical to the practical and finally get a chance to get away from our textbooks, our classrooms and our relentless teachers. But that also meant we had a lot of ground to cover first. Only twelve months to learn all the major currencies used throughout the After, the major means of transportation, government systems and political landscapes. The lists went on and on, building from what we learned about geography and magical systems the year before.
Our time spent in the Archive’s library had become more about reading various books and writing up endless reports. Reports on settings and individual characters for the Archivists. Reports on technologies and major political or social developments across multiple books for the Scholars. General themes and trends for the Keepers.
We had one break from our relentless studies, and unfortunately, it wasn’t even something most of us enjoyed. At least the Protectorate didn't want any reports from us. No, they just wanted us to get off our introverted, lazy butts and start getting in shape so they could see who among us would become suitable recruits.
Most of my classmates tended to slack off during our weekly physical sessions, not wanting to catch the attention of the Protectorate since they had no real interest in prying themselves away from books for the bulk of their librarian careers. It was a similar strategy to what I'd been doing, except I was still fully dedicated to staying somewhere near the class average in everything I did. Which was proving to be a little more difficult than I’d thought. After a few weeks I’d actually come to look forward to our weekly workouts, though I couldn’t explain it. I’d never exactly been athletic, but something about getting my body moving seemed to wake my mind up at the same time, pulling away the study-induced fog I’d been adapting to existing in.
Halfway into my second year, just before midterms my friends and I were tucked into a quiet alcove on the third floor that was decked out with four long tables for group study sessions just like ours. We’d been quizzing each other back and forth for hours already, using our last weekend before midterms started for one last cramming session.
So far, Tommen had been blowing all us away, surprising absolutely no one. But more than once, he would shoot me a knowing glance every time I got something deliberately wrong, leaving me flustered and unsure of how I’d left myself open to discovery but I was determined to see it through.
I'd been spending more time with both Tommen and Jericho over the past few months, as my roommate and Gennie kept spending more time together, one on one. Never really explaining the change. But also never avoiding me completely. It was a part of being back in school I certainly hadn’t missed, trying to figure out where I fit into different social groups, and who the people were that I could count on no matter what.
I was probably more of the jealous type than I was willing to admit to myself, but I was starting to miss my friends.
"Do you guys have your schedules yet?" I asked, as the guys and I were packing up our books. Steph and Gennie had disappeared almost an hour before our study session had ended, citing dinner plans they hadn't told me anything about. Jericho pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of one of his pockets. "I've got my written exams Monday and Tuesday, then reports on Wednesday and Thursday. Physical on Friday."
"I'm writing exams Tuesday, Thursday. Reports Monday and Wednesday and physical on Friday." Tommen said, without having to look at anything at all. I wasn’t all that surprised that he'd memorized his exam schedule.
"My schedule is the opposite of that," I finished, looking at Tommen. "But I guess we’re all doing the physical at the same time on Friday. Bad luck, but I guess I'll talk to you guys then.
My classmates and I had been warned ahead of time that the librarians were testing out some new spells concerning ho
w exams were handled. There would be a spell placed over us so that would we would be unable to speak or communicate with anyone else who hadn’t already finished the same exams we had.
I already knew that Steph and I had opposite schedules and that Gennie's timeline matched up with Jericho's. So there wasn't going to be much point in all us getting together again till Friday when all the written work was said and done. We wouldn’t be able to speak a word to one another.
I was planning to try and use the alone time to catch up on my reading or sleep, but I knew the reality was that I'd probably just study more.
The spell went into effect at midnight on the first day of exams, which was only an hour away.
Walking home alone, I didn’t bother to rush back to the apartment. Midnight ticked by as I passed James Street Park.
Hearing music coming from inside, I let myself into the apartment and automatically called out to Steph to let her know I was home.
No sound came out of my mouth.
It wasn’t that I was surprised that the librarian’s spell had worked, but it was still strange not being able to get my body to cooperate the way I wanted it to.
A little creeped out, I reached for the light switch near the front door and flicked it onward. As soon as the overhead light sprang to life, there was a flurry of motion from the sitting area. My eyes scrambled to adjust to the light and figure out what was going on.
Steph was standing in front of the TV we barely ever used, hair a mess, tumbling down her shoulder in waves, as she tugged her shirt into place by the hem. Gennie sat on the couch in a position that couldn’t have been comfortable.
The three of us stared at each other for a minute as my eyes darted back and forth between both of my friends. Eventually, Gennie shrugged.
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