by P. A Ross
Everyone had gone back to his or her conversation after quickly looking over from the introduction. There was no sign of the unlucky person who was going act as my guide. Miss Goodwin placed her hand on my arm and took me over to the far side of the room and directly in front of the flamed hair girl.
“Jonathan this is Scarlett,” she said showing her hand towards the flamed haired girl.
“This is Mary,” pointing to her friend.
“I have asked them to look after you and show you about. They both only started this year as well, but both made it to the orientation day,” she explained.
I nearly fell over. I couldn’t believe after everything I had just thought and felt towards her, I was being introduced to this gorgeous woman. I was excited again. My heart was pounding in my chest and a glow of excited perspiration began seeping cross my body.
Scarlett nodded in acceptance and offered a weak smile. Mary sitting next to her was immediately friendlier.
“Hi, sit down,” Mary said smiling and motioning toward the stool in front of her.
Mary wore black rimmed glasses and was dressed in gothic clothes, black short jacket and a red patterned t-shirt underneath, and wore a long black dress with purple side panels. She had a few piercings in her ears and one through her nose. She looked younger than Scarlett and I guessed she was nearer to my age having come straight from GCSE’s.
I quickly took the seat wanting to blend in as soon as possible. The guys in the room watched me jealously as I sat down. Scarlett just continued playing with her nails and twirling her hair around her fingers, no reaction to my presence beyond that first nod hello.
“Where you from Jonathan?” Mary asked.
“Leeds.”
“Leeds!” came the sudden response from Scarlett, and had spun around letting go of her hair, and it twirling away onto to her shoulders.
Her accent gave away her sudden excitement, as it was the same as mine.
“Yeah,” I replied smugly.
I had a way in. She wanted to talk to me now.
We started talking and found we had a lot in common from our shared previous homes in Leeds. She went to school next to mine and went to the same places to hang out, the cinema and the city centre mall. Then the bell rang for the first lesson.
“Catch up with you both at lunch, I have got Biology and Chemistry,” said Mary, and picked up her bag and walked out the room.
“Physics is our first class, I will show you the way,” Scarlett said.
I was surprised that she was doing physics, didn’t seem the sort of subject a girl like her would study. I would have expected English Literature.
Scarlett directed me out the door and I walked along by her side as she led the way down the grey corridors to the first lesson.
“So how long you been in London?” She asked.
“Only moved in about 5 weeks ago. Wasn’t sure of the results I would get so the college choice was a bit last minute. That is why I missed the orientation day.”
“I have been down her for a few months. Why did you leave Leeds?” Scarlett asked.
“My Dad got offered a new job close by,” I said, as this was part of the truth.
“What about the rest of your family what do they do?”
“It is just my Dad and I,” I answered.
“Oh,” Scarlett said.
“How about you, what is your story?”I asked.
“Parents divorced and I failed A-levels first time around so trying again now. I have moved down here with my mum to start a fresh as she got a new job.”
Scarlett walked into the class and grabbed a table at the front. I hesitated and looked around the classroom trying to work out where to sit, not sure if she wanted me to sit next to her.
“I have got us some seats,” Scarlett said.
I smiled, happy she wanted to carry on the conversation.
“Thanks,” I said sitting next to her and dumping my bag on the table.
The rest of the class ambled in and then the teacher, Miss Goodwin behind them. It was a small class only ten people in total and we sat 2 per bench facing the teacher and white board at the front.
Miss Goodwin handed out some text books and looked through her notes. In the mean time, Scarlett and I carried on chatting quietly to one another.
As I pulled out some paper and pens, my ipod slide onto the table.
“Can I have a look?” Scarlett asked.
I nodded, but was worried she would hate my music.
“I love Iron Maiden, but only up to the ‘Somewhere in time’ album,” she said.
She resumed flicking through the rest of the ipod and commenting on my other music choices as well, and her responses were mostly positive.
“I got some albums I think you would like. I will bring them in tomorrow,” she said, handing the ipod back.
I couldn’t believe how much we had in common already, came from the same place, same classes, same music and I wondered what else. The class started and as Scarlett had done physics A-levels before she was far in advance of me, and helped me out on a few equations explaining how it worked.
The bell rang signalling the next class.
“I think you are in maths with me, as well. Shall we walk down and we might as well sit together again,” she said.
“Yeah that would be great,” I answered, almost falling over my tongue.
We walked down the corridor to the next class and Scarlett walked down to the back of the class.
“Let’s sit here we can talk more at the back,” she said mischievously.
I felt extremely positive about the starting of this friendship.
“So what is your favourite film,” I asked.
“Oh I love sci-fi. It has to be Star Wars and the Matrix as my favourites. In fact, I just bought Star Wars on Blu ray,” she answered.
That was it I knew I was in love now.
“Really I would love to watch them with you,” I answered, pushing my luck.
Scarlett eyed me and paused for a moment then smiled.
“That sounds like a good idea. Yeah maybe we could one day.”
I had gotten away with it. In fact, I wanted to jump up and down with joy she seemed to genuinely like the idea. We carried on talking, and I discovered she liked computer games and we exchanged Xbox Live ID’s to play against or with each other online. My luck was changing getting introduced to Scarlett and her being asked to look after me for the day. Life in London was a definite improvement.
Eventually lunch time came around, and we went back to the common room to met Mary. Scarlett went to eat her lunch in the common room, and I raced off to the men’s room. I came back into the room smiling and ready to carry on where we left off. Scarlett was sat on the black sofa with Mary, and about three guys sat around her. It was the same guys who had been glancing over at Scarlett and whispering about her earlier in the morning. They were flirting with Scarlett and Mary, with most of the attention directed at Scarlett. The guys were joking with one another and showing off their new smart phones and clothes, trying desperately to impress her and get one up on their friends. I couldn’t compete. I was dressed in dark and dingy clothes, my phone was old and battered and I didn’t have their confidence or their muscles. I was just lucky to get to talk to her first, and come from the same place and do the same lessons. I was disappointed and slumped at the sight of the guys flirting with her, but I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. I couldn’t keep her to myself all day and I knew she was too attractive not to get this sort of attention. Tomorrow we would have lessons together again and may be if I were lucky she would talk to me again. I wandered off to the other side of the common room picking my way through the other occupied desks, with friends talking and laughing, to an empty desk to eat my lunch alone.
“Jon,” I heard shouted across the room and I turned around.
Scarlett waved me back over to her. I wandered over, back around people eating their lunches at the desks, not sure what to e
xpect and stood in front of her just behind the guys circling her on the sofas. The guys turned around and glared at me for interrupting.
“Sorry guys, I promised to show Jon around today, may be another time,” with that Scarlett picked up her lunch and made her way out of the circle, forcing her admirers to move out of the way. I obviously didn’t hide the expression of smugness as the group of guys continued to glare at me with more intent. Scarlett walked quickly across the room and placed herself down at the empty table. Mary stayed with the group of guys enjoying the attention all to herself, and smiling and flirting back. I followed Scarlett to the table, happy and smiling broadly.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Hey!” she replied, looking up surprised as she opened her lunch box.
“You can have lunch with those guys if you want. I think I can find my way about now.”
She smiled, “no thanks. I want to have lunch with you.”
I must have looked startled and as though that was the strangest thing anyone had ever said.
“Is everything okay? I take it’s alright to have lunch together still, I thought we were getting on well,” she said, as she paused with lid of her lunch box half opened.
“We are, I just didn’t want to assume,” I responded back quickly not wanting to give her the wrong impression and pleased this morning wasn’t just a show, but a genuine beginning of a friendship.
We continued to hang around together during college time and started meeting up at weekends. Scarlett and Mary hadn’t made many other friends since joining, and as all new to the area it was easy to stick together. We would meet up to revise as shared many of the same classes anyway. Text each other in the evenings and weekends keeping the conversation from the day progressing. I invited Scarlett and Mary to go to the cinema to see the latest Sci-fi blockbuster. We had become close friends in a relative short space of time. We connected to each other on line one night playing, “Crisis Red” and teamed up against a couple of kids from Scotland. Only a few weeks had passed and I couldn’t imagine life without her. However, things started to change.
It was a Friday and I was hiding in the art room trying to do some homework when my phone beeped.
“Where are you?” Scarett’s message read.
I didn’t answer. I was hiding from her trying to put her out of my mind. In those early weeks, I tried to put all thoughts of an intimate relationship with her out of my mind. We were friends and any clumsy attempt would ruin everything. Yet my dreams wouldn’t comply and they undermined my efforts of a friendship. The dreams weren’t all explicit for 18 years or over, most where just Scarlett and I as a couple doing normal things, like watching the TV together snuggled on the sofa. It was these dreams that had the profoundest effect. I would wake up full of spirits bouncing out of bed and getting ready to go and meet her, and then remembered it wasn’t real. I would spend the rest of the day struggling to talk to her properly as although we had being together and I had been dumped. I felt heart broken and stupid at the same time, knowing it was never real and would never be real.
I began to continue on these happy dreams as day dreams, imagining what life would be like with Scarlett. Thoughts of our life together, like getting a flat together, going out together, and then going to University together. I ran through every possibility in my mind and lived hundreds of different lives with her. I imaged every scenario I could possibly think of that she would suddenly want to be my girlfriend. I could win the lottery, be the lead singer in a band, inherit a fortune or save her life. I thought it would need something dramatic and life altering for her to see me in a new way.
My depression had lifted when we became friends. I had started to brighten up in my out look on life and my clothes and attitude had like wise followed. However, the reality of our friendship started to hit home. I was going to be that sad guy following around this gorgeous girl and have to standby watching her date idiot after idiot, while wishing she would one day notice that I was a man, as well. Everyone else would be talking behind my back. I could imagine the comments.
“He doesn’t stand a chance.”
”She will only ever see him as a friend.”
“It’s so sweet, he is like a little puppy dog the way he follows her about.”
I didn’t want that to happen. I was scared my feelings for her had gotten out of control. I was becoming obsessed with her and would count the time between our meetings, inventing reasons to meet up. Every time we were together my heart pounded. I put my hand on my chest and could feel it beating its exaggerated rhythm. I would get hot, with the sweat coating my skin as a signal to the world of my desperation. Around her I was distracted, unable to study or concentrate in joint lessons. When she was talking I wouldn’t be listening, instead my eyes would fixate on her lips as she sweetly sounded the words, wishing I could lean forwards and kiss her. I had enough. I began hiding away from her between lessons, inventing reasons to disappear, or I would skip lessons so not have to put myself through it. That day I was hiding the art room.
The phone beeped again.
“Jon, where are you!” it read.
I tried again to keep studying, but daydreams of her kept overwhelming my concentration and I sat staring into space instead. I was daydreaming I became a superhero by some sudden biological trigger and I would save her life from vicious thugs. Just then the door of the art room swung open and Scarlett came in, looked around the room and spotted me. I felt embarrassed as I was jolted out of my stupid fantasies, and dipped my head into the books trying to hide my flushed cheeks.
“So this is where you are hiding from me,” she said picking her way through the empty desks.
“I’m not hiding. I was doing some homework.”
“You could do that with me in the sixth form room.”
“Sorry I didn’t want to bother you and I have lots to do,” I said pretending to be deeply engrossed in my text book
“You wouldn’t be bothering me. Why do you keep hiding away?” She asked.
“Oh, just family issues. Sorry I am not much company, I didn’t want to bring you down.”
“Are you sure, don’t lie to me,” she said raising one eyebrow and frowning a little.
“Honest, just a bit tense between my Dad and I since moving to London,” I said and she seemed to believe it.
“Come on let’s go for a coffee in town on the way home. The house is empty tomorrow, why don’t you come around. I have already invited Mary. Maybe we could finally watch Star Wars together,” she said and waved my up and shut my text books.
“Okay that would be great,” I replied.
I realised she wasn’t going to leave me alone, and I was excited by the idea of going around her house. I quickly packed up my books and left with her.
CHAPTER 4
The next day, Saturday, I was walking to Scarlett’s house to meet up with her and Mary. Scarlett’s mum was way for the weekend with her new boyfriend, so Scarlett had the house to herself.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
“Mary ill not coming. Just the two of us,” Scarlett’s message read.
I was happy at the thought of having Scarlett to myself all day, but also worried about the intensity of it, and if I would cope without saying something stupid and giving away my true feelings for her. I would be alone with her all day in her house, and my imagination ran wild.
I texted Mary and wished her well, half hoping I could convince her to come still so I could avoid the issue.
My phone rang and Mary’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hi Mary you okay.”
“Yeah, I am fine actually. I am not ill at all. Just want to leave you two alone for the day.”
“Hey, what do you mean?”
“Don’t be dumb,” she said, “You two have been dancing around it ever since you met. For goodness sake do us all a favour and get on with it. I can’t stand the tension any longer.”
“What do you mean,” I asked agai
n, not believing what she was implying.
“She never stops talking about you Jon. And you so obviously fancy her. You go all gooey eyed every time you talk to her.”
“I don’t we are just friends,” I replied, embarrassed by the transparency of my feelings.
“You do, but Scarlett can’t seem to see it and needs constant reassurance.”
“Well what do I do?” I asked.
“Just tell her the truth. One of you is going to have to break the silence,” she said.
“But what if she says no, or I mess it up?” I asked.
“She won't say no. You just need to take that gamble.”
“Best of luck Jon. Text me later if anything happens, bye,” she said, and hung up.
I walked in a daze, head spinning from the news and stumbling into a litter bin and then bumping into an old lady walking her little dog. The dog yapped , and I apologised, as I quickly sat on a wall to regain my composure. Scarlett fancying me was impossible. Mary must have made a mistake, or maybe not, she seemed remarkably insistent and was rarely wrong. I smiled and held my head up high. I set off again and increased the pace imagining what the rest of the day may hold. On the way I happily re-visited my favourite day dreams about being Scarlett’s boyfriend, and I thought maybe they didn’t need to be day dreams anymore.
I stood outside the front door of Scarlett’s house and brushed down my clothes and tidied my hair up before ring the bell. I was wearing the blue polo shirt she helped pick out for me yesterday, after we went for a coffee. I had put my best jeans on and carried a black fleece. I took a deep breath and tried to relax and look causal, but I struggled as I was excited and twitching with nerves.
“Just act normal,” I repeated to myself over and over again.
The door opened, and I took one look at Scarlett and wanted to drop to my knees and pledge my undying love to her straight away. I hoped Mary was right about Scarlett fancying me, else today was going to be the most tortuous day of my life. Scarlett was dressed to destroy. Her hair was perfectly brushed into flowing locks over her shoulders. She was wearing a low cut white lacy t-shirt showing off her pushed up cleavage. The t-shirt came up short around her mid rift, and showing off her flat stomach and pierced belly button. After the flesh of her stomach was a pair of red hot pants sitting snugly on her hips, with the top of the hipbone poking above the waist band. She had finished off with light make up, and shocking red lips, and red finger and toe nails. Resting on her left ankle was a thin silver ankle chain. I stood in silence stunned by her appearance, and tried hard to hold my resolve.