She turned back to me. “Good things will happen.”
I nodded. “For both of us.”
CHAPTER 28
I pulled into the Lake Como boat launch, my heart pounding. I immediately spotted Matt and Abby and exhaled in relief when I didn’t see Julia with them. Even though he’d told me she wouldn’t be there, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see her perky blond head next to his.
Matt gave me a quick wave, and I noticed he seemed as uncomfortable as me. I couldn’t decide if that made me delighted or irritated. Abby jumped up and down with excitement as she showed me the giant red tube with a back, like a floating couch, that Matt had hooked up to the back of the boat. Except it wasn’t a boat that I had seen before. It was new. A Cobalt. And it likely cost more than his car. Or, at least, my car.
“Nice boat,” I grunted as I hopped on board, ignoring his outstretched hand to help me on.
“It’s . . .” He trailed off as he sat down at the captain’s chair.
“Yup,” I said. I pulled Abby up front with me and sat at the bow with her. Her little body shook with excitement as the wind whipped through our hair and I cuddled her to me. I felt Matt’s presence from behind, but thankfully didn’t have to turn around.
We reached the center of Lake Como quickly, it being a much smaller lake than Lake Geneva. While Lake Geneva had quickly become a favorite spot for wealthy families at the turn of the century, Lake Como had never gained the affection of the rich in the same way. For starters, in addition to being smaller, it also had more weeds and water lilies in certain areas. The shoreline was dotted with modest houses and a few restaurants, like Mars Resort, a staple in the community for decades.
“Beautiful afternoon,” Matt said as he slowed the boat. “Nice and empty.”
Whereas Lake Geneva was probably still filled with cocktail cruisers and dinner boats, Lake Como was quiet. The water shone like glass from shore to shore. Perfect for tubing. Across the lake, I could see people gathered on the deck of Mars Resort, having cocktails under the blue umbrellas advertising different beers. The signature red light shone from the top of the restaurant, to signal to boaters that they could dock and come inside for a drink.
I smiled as I thought of meeting Gavin there later, after I got off the boat. He’d mentioned that he wanted to go to a real Wisconsin supper club, and there was no place that fit the bill better than Mars.
“All right, Ab. Want to go?” Matt said when we were stopped.
She leapt out of my arms and ran toward the back of the boat.
“Help her,” I shouted, but he was already waiting for her. He held her hand as she climbed onto the tube and then unhooked it from the back and let it trail in the water, the line straightening.
“Ready?” he shouted and she gave a quick thumbs-up.
Matt started the motor and the line grew taut, snapping her into place slightly as we towed her behind. He drove slowly, just enough for the tube to remain flat on the water, but not enough to knock her off. There being no other wake on the water, she slid across the surface with barely a bump.
After a few turns around the lake, Matt slowed the boat to a stop. I tried to ignore the fact that we were facing the clubhouse for Geneva National on the south shore of the lake. Just to the right of the clubhouse was Matt’s new house, with the elevated white screened porch that probably caught the cool lake breeze on even the hottest summer afternoons. It looked like it had been there for decades, and maybe the untrained eye would assume that it had, but I could tell that it had been built maybe two, three years ago.
Sitting on his boat, in view of his new, beautiful home, made me feel more like a guest than normal. I felt like I didn’t belong on the same lake, or even in the same zip code as him. I was the “plus one,” included on their afternoon.
I turned my focus to Abby, waving to her in the water. Abby floated happily on the tube, her spindly legs crossed at the ankles and her arms outstretched over the back.
“Do you want to go again?” I called to her.
She shook her head and kicked her legs a little, so the tube drifted around in the water. “In a minute. Not now.”
“Drink?” Matt gestured toward a small white cooler the floor.
I slowly nodded and he handed me a beer.
“How is your house project?” he said carefully as he glanced at Abby on the water and then leaned back in the chair.
I sighed slightly. “It’s not just a project—it’s my job.”
He winced. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He looked down at his drink, his shoulders sagging slightly.
There was a pause, and I cleared my throat. “It’s going well. We’ve had some hiccups, and there was a tax lien issue. And an issue with a developer. So I’m looking into getting it historical status.” It was more than I had planned to say, but the words propelled out like popcorn popping.
“What would that do?” Matt said. The sun was beginning to set, and the light moved across his face, the oranges and reds highlighting his five o’clock shadow.
“Protect it. From anyone ever tearing it down, messing with it, or . . . hurting it.” My voice unexpectedly shook, and I took a quick sip of my drink. My head started to feel light, and I put the beer down. I didn’t need to show up tipsy to my date with Gavin.
“Is that hard to do?” he said as he turned toward the radio. “Music?”
Before I could agree, he flipped on the radio.
“Yes. Harder than you might think.” I paused, considering whether I should continue. I figured it couldn’t hurt. “Well, and I have another problem with the house, one that you are familiar with.”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Your good buddies over at Waterview. Seems they’re interested in my property, too,” I said. I carefully watched his face for a reaction, for some sign that he knew about it.
His face lifted in surprise, and a tiny part of me exhaled in relief. “Well, would you ever consider their offer?”
I shook my head. “Not in a million years.”
He nodded and looked out at Abby on the tube before he turned back to me. “They’re tough, but you can go against them. People have done it before.” He paused and gave me a small smile. “Not many, but I’m sure if anyone could fight them off, it would be you.”
“Thanks.” My stomach dropped a little at his compliment, and I looked down at my drink, unsure of how to respond.
He didn’t know what to say next, either, so we floated in silence, listening to the radio, before the DJ came on, talking about the delayed appearance of the cicadas.
“Do you remember those from when we were kids?” he said with a half smile.
“Yup. It was my first summer home from college, and it made me want to turn around and drive right back to school.” I smiled. “I think Abby’s going to freak out when they arrive. If they ever do,” I said as I tucked my legs under me.
“Man, that was the first summer I started working on the Fontana pier. They mostly stayed away from the water, but occasionally some tourists would arrive and be waiting for their boat with a cicada clinging to the back of them. I’d point it out and watch them run around screaming, trying to bat it off.” He laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “One lady jumped in the water. Of course, she then started screaming about the seaweed she was standing in.” He paused. “Never a dull moment on the piers during the summer.”
I nodded, thinking of the time when I saw parents wrangling their four screaming, tantrumming kids on the dock as they waited for their boat rental. And then we watched from the snack shop as the parents drove away in the boat and left two of their kids on the pier. It was hard to say if it was intentional or accidental, but after watching the kids try to push each other into the water, I suspected it was on purpose. One of the dockhands had to drive around the lake with the kids, since it was back before the golden age of cell phones, and try to locate the parents.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to go back to tha
t time, even just for a day?” he said.
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure if he meant the lack of responsibility, or the casual summer jobs, or . . . us. The way we used to be.
I glanced at his face and from his expression I knew the answer: us. I wanted to nod, to tell him I wished we could go back, that I did think about it. But then my thumb went to the ring on my finger, the one I had put in place of Matt’s gold band.
He noticed the gesture and looked down in silence.
For a moment, we were both quiet, lost in the past. The smell of boat fuel mixed with lake water permeated the air, and the gentle rocking of the boat seemed to say shush, shush. The sun felt the same as the sun when we were younger. And if it wasn’t for the memories of what had happened in the past five years, everything else would be the same, too.
“Look, Daddy! Julia’s waving to us!” Abby’s voice brought me to the present.
I followed her outstretched finger to the shore, and my stomach dropped as I saw Julia’s perfect blond form on Matt’s porch, a hand outstretched. She wore a hot pink bikini and sunglasses, drink in hand.
“Just like she said she would!” Abby added. “Did she finish making my birthday cake?”
I swallowed hard as I realized that while Matt had told Julia she couldn’t come on the boat, she had still made plans to make her presence known. His face flushed, and he rubbed his forehead with his hand as irritation crossed his face.
“Does she always bake birthday cakes like that?” I said. “That bathing suit looks a little . . . unsafe. What if she got burned somewhere sensitive?”
He shook his head in response and turned back to Abby. “Want to go around the lake again?”
She nodded so enthusiastically I thought her head might loll off, and any further conversation was halted by the roar of the motor and the sounds of Abby’s shrieks.
* * *
I saw Gavin’s broad figure sitting at the bar at Mars Resort. His back to me, I studied his well-defined shoulders and a chill ran down my back as I looked at his strong, tanned hands. I sank into a bar stool next to him and smiled.
“Thanks for waiting,” I said. I didn’t lean back after I sat, and our legs were touching.
“Of course. Manny here recommended an IPA.” He lifted a finger to a bored-looking bartender, who nodded. He slid the beer toward me. “Want some?”
I nodded, taking a sip of the hoppy, bitter ale. “Not really my thing. Different from what I usually order.”
“Different can be good. New can be good,” he said as he placed his forearms on the bar and gave me a crooked smile.
“I’m beginning to agree with you,” I said.
He leaned forward and dropped his chin. “Beginning to?” His eyes sparkled.
He looked so handsome, but the tension and confusion from the boat ride with Matt still lingered on my shoulders. I needed to think of something—anything—other than the fact that before I saw Julia, Matt and I were getting along and showing some shred of the people we used to be. That I almost allowed my guard down long enough to be pulled toward him and act on the thoughts that haunted me.
Before I could stop myself, I moved forward and kissed Gavin. He didn’t respond at first, in surprise, but then kissed me back, putting a hand on my cheek.
I felt my face flush and my pulse quicken, and I leaned into the kiss once again.
My flush deepened, thanks to a slow clap from Manny. “What was that?” he said. “Thirty seconds? Has to be a new record.” He made an exaggerated gesture of turning around and pointing to the taxidermied fish clock on the wall.
I sat back in my stool, taking a long swig from Gavin’s drink, and then ordered another, waiting for the embarrassment to subside.
I had never been big on blatant PDAs. Or even subtle PDAs, I suppose. I never really wanted to hold hands or kiss while out with Matt. It was a constant source of irritation to him. He seemed to want to hold hands over romantic dinners, whereas those things always felt unnatural and cheesy to me, like the overly sentimental Hallmark cards at the drugstore. Even at home, I suppose, I was never a big cuddler or spooner. There was sex, intimacy, and then there wasn’t. Sleeping time was for sleeping. His side, my side. Often separated by a wall of pillows in an almost-reluctant bed sharing.
I swallowed hard at the memory of Julia waving from the dock, and wondered if she always held his hand at dinner and cuddled him all night long. Probably, I thought. I shook my head, pushing her away. Matt had already dynamited enough in my life, and I couldn’t let him ruin this, too.
“So, how’s the house coming? Almost finished?” he asked, putting his forearms on the bar. As he did, the short sleeve of his polo shirt inched up, and I saw a black design on his bicep.
“A tattoo?” I said as I pointed to his arm.
He glanced down and flashed me an embarrassed smile. “Oh. It’s an armband tattoo.” He lifted the sleeve up slightly so I could get a look at the black swirls that went around his bicep, before he quickly pulled the material back down over to cover it. “It was a dumb college thing. A couple of friends of mine and I got them all at the same time.”
“Like friendship bracelets?” I said with a laugh.
“Something like that. It seemed cool at the time, but now . . . less so.” He shook his head.
I put my foot on the base of his stool, turning toward him. I pointed to my hip. “Shamrock. When I was eighteen. My college roommate and I were bored one afternoon.”
“Matching shamrocks?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Nope. She got some kind of flower, but on her toe. I was glad that I went first, because watching her scream in pain while this guy was tattooing her foot was kind of terrifying,” I said and then took a sip of my drink. “Although, maybe it would have been better if she’d gone first. It might have prevented me from getting any ink myself.”
“It could be worse. It could be one of those awful lower-back tattoos,” he offered.
“Like a tribal tattoo?” I said.
He laughed. “Exactly. And yours isn’t visible unless you’re at the beach or—” He stopped and twisted his mouth into a small smile.
I smiled, feeling the spark between us, crackling like newspaper under a flame. This time, he was the one who leaned forward and kissed me. He tasted like hops and breath mints, a strange but appealing combination. As we kissed, I heard Manny whistle again from behind the bar. Clearly, none of the other patrons had been as successful on their dates in recent memory.
When we broke apart, Gavin placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered into my ear, “I think we’re turning Manny on. Should we go somewhere else?” He paused. “Like, another bar?”
At the same time, I said, “Like, my place?”
He lifted his eyebrows, and I almost laughed it off as a joke, but gave him a small smile instead. “Well, yeah. Or that,” he said.
Manny appeared with the tab and a wink.
“I’ll follow you in my car,” Gavin said as we walked outside. He grabbed my hand, but I didn’t pull away. I did wish I had another gulp of liquid courage before we left, though.
At my house, he leaned forward and kissed me again, his lips pressing to mine. I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him toward me. His hands were in my hair, pulling the strands off my warm neck.
“I should go,” he said when we broke apart.
“Yes, you should,” I said.
Moments later, our clothes came off in a tumble, leaving bread crumbs of a trail toward the bedroom. I wished that I had thought to straighten up my bedroom before our date, but I never thought we would end up back at my house. I had planned to clean before my parents came into town, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
I brushed the laundry and piles of contractor notes aside onto the floor, and gave the adoption research a shove to the other side of the bed as we sat down.
“It’s great,” Gavin said as he kissed my neck.
“What is?” My eyes were half-closed.
�
��Your house,” he said.
“This one? Or the other one?” We lay back on the bed, and my legs intertwined with his.
“Both,” he said as I rolled over on top of him.
I hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, since a minor flirtation with Jonathan, the guy I met at Home Depot. And that was only a couple of times. The sex was vanilla, basic. Fine. Even though it was only twice, it felt scripted. So I don’t think either of us minded when I never called him back after the second time. Besides, he kept asking me for advice on tiling his shower. Once while we were making out, he stopped unbuttoning my shirt to bring me into his bathroom and show me the subway tile.
But that night, when Gavin and I were together, subway tile was the furthest thing from my mind. I focused on turning off my brain and existing in the moment. I concentrated on feeling every brush of his fingertips, and kiss of his mouth. I willed myself not to worry about how my body looked or if we were moving too fast. I was fueled by the knowledge that I had just watched my past have his own future, and so it was high time I took a step into mine. I tried to push all thoughts of Matt and the way he used to touch me, kiss me, and hold me out of my mind. I tried, but when I closed my eyes, I still thought of him, so I kept them open to remind myself whom I was with and what was happening.
And when it was over, Gavin and I lay next to each other on my unmade bed. My limbs were sore and my lips were tender from being kissed, but I still felt unsettled.
CHAPTER 29
I woke up the next morning and drove over to the Maple house. My lips still felt bruised from the night before, and my hair was thrown into a messy ponytail. Gavin had kissed me before he left, gathering his clothes in a trail to the front door. Without the added benefit of darkness, the drinks, and desire, the early morning took on an awkward quality as I waved good-bye and shut the door behind me.
Cicada Summer Page 18