“Okay.” That made no sense at all. In fact, him being here made no sense at all. “Why don’t you get to the point of this visit, Dean?”
He sighed. “You think I’m just into you for the sexy clothes, right? You think that’s the first time I noticed you were a woman I might want to spend some time with.”
She shrugged as if it made no difference to her, but it stung like a swarm of bees. “That’s how it looks from where I’m standing, yeah.”
“Because that’s the way I wanted it to look to you.” He winced, but met her gaze squarely. “I don’t give a shit what you wear, Andi. I think you look just as hot right now as you do when Lola does her thing on you.”
She brushed a hand down her messy ponytail and tried not to think about how ratty her clothes were. So what? This was how people dressed when they were at home. Real people didn’t glam up for a night in front of the TV. “Right. All those years I looked like a normal person didn’t exactly have you asking me out, did it? No, it wasn’t until my boobs were hanging out that you wanted a piece. Try to sell that to someone else. Are we done here?”
“Jesus, what a fucking mess I made of this.” A quiet, painful laugh escaped him. He shook his head. “I touched you because you spent the day right next to me, rubbing against me, and we were doing the damn show, so I couldn’t take a break or walk away or have a breather where I reminded myself for the millionth time why I shouldn’t mess around with someone whose paycheck I sign. My dad gave me that lecture, and I’ve given it to myself since he retired. Every damn day.”
“I don’t understand.” She shook her head, disquiet zinging through her. She wanted to back away, but she was already against the door. Why was he doing this? She’d made her decision, she’d come to grips with it. Why couldn’t he just leave it at that? What happened to no harm, no foul?
He faced her, looked her dead in the eye. “I have always wanted you. I’ve always thought that you were beautiful and sexy and smart. I’ve always wanted the chance to be with you, and I’m not just talking about burning up the sheets. I wanted to be with you.”
Tears glutted her eyes, and she pressed lips together. “You could have had that. All you ever had to do was ask.” She laughed, but the sound cracked in the middle. “I pretty much sold my soul the last couple of weeks for the opportunity to be with you, and it wasn’t enough for you. I told you before, I can’t be that girl. Whatever I am isn’t what you really want. And that’s okay, but let’s not pretend otherwise.”
“No pretending.” He pulled his hands from his pockets, shook them out at his sides. “I let you think that this thing with us was all physical because I needed it to be just physical. I couldn’t have a relationship with an employee. I focused so hard on that because I was trying not to think about…”
“About?” Her heart tripped, and she came away from the door, took a single step toward him.
“I love you.” The words came out so fast, they blended together, and his face went pale. His jaw clenched and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’ve been avoiding admitting it to myself for so long, but when I let finally myself touch you… Jesus, I couldn’t stop touching you. It scared me, because I thought I was in control for all those years and then everything was spinning out. Like, once I let go of one thing, it all came crashing in. I told myself—and you—it was just sex as a way to get a handle on where we were going, but it was too late.” He spread his hands. “I’m just sorry I hurt you and pushed you away before I figured it all out.”
She stared at him, uncertain what to say, what to do. Her pulse raced, her fingers trembled. She couldn’t even wrap her mind around what he’d said.
But then he was talking again. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I want a chance to do this right. Now that I have my head on straight.”
“And now that I don’t work for you, you don’t have to deal with the employer issue.” She didn’t want to have to point it out, but her quitting had made it a lot easier for him, hadn’t it? That hurt too, that she’d given up a job she loved and now he suddenly wanted to be with her.
“No, I want it all, honey. I want everything. I want to share my life with you, all of it. I want you in the garage, on the show, in my bed every night, and in a real, honest to God, ’til-death-do-us-part kind of relationship.” His lips quirked in a smile. “And for the record, yes, that was my way of telling you I want to marry you. Someday. When you’re ready. I know I have a lot of ground to make up before we get to that point.”
“This seems pretty sudden,” she pointed out. Why was she arguing with him? Wasn’t he offering her everything she could possibly want? But then, maybe that was the problem. He’d gone from offering her nothing to offering her everything. Could she really trust it? “I thought you didn’t make permanent decisions lightly.”
“I don’t.” He stepped toward her, lifting his hand to run a fingertip down her cheekbone. “I love you, Andi. I have for years. There’s nothing light about this. I want permanent, and I want it with you. Just give me that chance.”
His gaze was open and honest, no shadows or lies there. She could see everything he felt, and it staggered her. “I never thought you’d be interested in me. Not really. It was easier to believe you wanted the Revved Up version of me.”
Regret darkened his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever let you think you had to be someone else for me. I love you. Just you.”
“I love you too.” The feeling spilled out of her—she couldn’t contain it anymore. It wouldn’t have hurt so badly that he just wanted to sleep with her if she hadn’t loved him all along. She’d never have slept with him in the first place if she didn’t have feelings for him. Like him, she’d run from her emotions so long, she’d convinced herself they weren’t really there. But she couldn’t run forever. She’d promised when she’d left that she’d be true to herself. No more pretending. That meant being honest about how she felt and what she wanted. And she wanted to see if Dean and she could make this work. She had to try. “I’ll come back to the garage and the show, but I will dress however I see fit. Lola might get me into some makeup, but that’s it.”
“Okay, good.” His other hand rose to cup her cheek. “But what about us?”
She took a deep breath and a leap of faith. “I’m willing to give us a try too. But if we’re in, I need us to be all in. No hiding it from anyone. We’re dating, publicly. We’re a couple.”
He let out a huge breath she hadn’t realized he was holding, and he dropped his forehead to hers. “Yes. To all of that. I’m in. All in.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. Something huge and painful cracked open inside her, falling away. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Andi. I’ll tell you every day, I promise.” His lips brushed over hers in the sweetest kiss she’d ever known. Another tear escaped, but she wrapped her arms around him, throwing herself into the contact. Yes, this was exactly what she’d wanted all along, the real thing. Intimacy, not just sex.
He bent forward and slid his arm under her knees, lifting her against his chest. Holding him tight, she kept kissing him. She’d missed him so much. The couch cushions gave under her back and he came down on top of her. She welcomed his weight on her, twined her legs around his hips and rocked herself into him. He groaned against her mouth, grinding down on her pussy through their clothes. Shuddering, she pulled his shirt out of his jeans, running her hands up the smooth skin of his back, feeling the flex of muscle as he moved over her.
“Hurry, Dean,” she moaned. Juices flooded her pussy, her body readying itself for his possession in moments. It felt as if an eternity had passed since she’d had him inside her.
Rearing back, he jerked his shirt over his head while Andi sat up and removed her clothes. By the time she shimmied out of her pants and underwear, he was naked. He finished stripping her, tossing her yoga pants to the floor. She slid a finger up the rigid length of his dick, swirling around the bulbous head. His breathing sped, but he let her play with him.
>
“I want to suck you.”
He shuddered and pulled her hand away, quickly covering himself in a condom. “Later. I won’t last a second with your mouth on me. I want to feel you coming all around my cock.”
Heat bloomed within her, growing until she was on fire. Lying back on the couch, she spread her thighs wide, letting one leg fall off the cushions. “Yes.”
A chuckle rippled from him, and he guided his dick to her entrance, pressing deep into her pussy. Her breath caught at the wonder of it, at the feeling of homecoming that rocked her to her core. This was so right, and she was done suppressing or denying the thought. This was where she belonged, where they both belonged. Together.
She grabbed his ass and arched beneath him, taking all of him. Rolling his hips, he began moving within her. The way his cock stretched her pussy was divine, and her excitement cranked up a notch. Her breath and pulse sped, sweat sealing their bodies together. The couch creaked underneath them as they ground together, faster and faster, racing each other for orgasm. His gaze met hers, dared her to look away. She could see his every emotion and she let him see hers. No more hiding anything, no more holding back. They stayed that way, locked together. He pumped into her cunt, and her inner muscles fisted. She was so close. Her nails curled into his back and she sobbed with the need exploding inside her.
Reaching between them, he thumbed her clit and it sent her flying. Pinpoints of light burst in her vision, and tingles broke over her limbs. Her pussy contracted, climax rolling over her in a wave so intense, it drowned her. She loved it, reveled in it. He rode her, dragging the feeling out for her, and her cunt clenched each time he entered her. Throwing his head back, he shouted out his own orgasm, thrusting deep inside her once, twice, three more times before he sank down on top of her.
“I love you, Andi. Always.” He buried his face in her neck and she held him close, exactly where she wanted him.
“Dean,” she breathed. “I love you.”
It was the deepest truth of her life. No more pretending. And that was just the way it should be.
About the Author
Crystal Jordan began writing romance after she finished graduate school and needed something to fill the hours that used to be eaten away by homework. She is originally from California, but has lived and worked all over the United States. Currently she serves as a librarian at a large research university in the Rocky Mountains and writes paranormal, futuristic and erotic romance.
Crystal welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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Also by Crystal Jordan
Black Opals
Print books by Crystal Jordan
Opal Obsession
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