by Rebecca King
First and foremost of all of his problems was that she now most definitely had to be a permanent fixture in his life. He knew that the only option was marriage, but first had to deal with the irascible Edwards, break the news to his brother, and send the dowager on her way.
Before all of that, though, he had to decide how best to broach the subject of marriage with Petal. He couldn’t just assume that she would be happy to marry him. Although he could provide her with whatever he wanted, he knew this wouldn’t sway her. Petal was the least conniving and mercenary person he knew. She didn’t have a calculating bone in her body. There was just something too forthright; too honest about her. She wasn’t manipulative either. Like Jerry had said, he had to consider her position within the house would she want to leave it and join him upstairs.
That left him with the rather sticky situation to deal with; the time between when he asked her to marry him and the actual wedding. He didn’t want any fiancé of his working below-stairs. Nor could he move her upstairs unmarried without tarnishing her name.
Last night, unsurprisingly, Petal had been untried. He had made no attempt to take precautions to prevent a child, so she had little choice in whether she married him or not. In spite of that, he didn’t want her to feel forced into marriage any more than he wanted to be forced into marriage by the dowager. He wanted Petal to want him, the man. He didn’t want her to see marrying him as the solution to her problems. And, right now, there was one huge problem. He wanted her to share his bed, as often as possible, and wasn’t prepared to wait several weeks until matters were settled and a wedding could take place. However, each night they shared they risked getting caught by Rollo, or the other upstairs maid, Aggy, or even Edwards. Not only that, but in the several weeks before a wedding could take place, she could find herself with child. He didn’t mind that. Not if it hastened things along a little. However, he didn’t want any scurrilous gossip to start if people did their sums and the dates didn’t add up.
“Now that would cause problems,” Aidan muttered in disgust.
Rubbing a weary hand down his face, Aidan yawned widely and wished his brother was there. Jerry always seemed to know what to say, and do, in times of crisis. Although he didn’t always have the answers, did sometimes point him in the right direction. Right now, as much help as Jerry could give him was essential because he felt as though he was walking around in a fog, and this time it had nothing to do with any medication.
“One thing is for damned sure,” he murmured aloud. “We cannot wait for several weeks for a wedding just in case she is with child already.”
Strangely, that prospect was incredibly thrilling. Aidan found himself smiling as he studied the landscape out of the window while he contemplated just how many children he wanted. As long as they had Petal’s smile and her sunny disposition he didn’t really care whether they were boys or girls.
Minutes later, Aidan fell asleep with the mental image of a babe in arms with her brilliant eyes, and his dimples still curving his lips.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Later that day, Petal yawned widely as she gathered the tea things together. It was all she seemed to do of late; fetch and carry trays; wash pots and stack them.
She had received word from Aggy that the master had rung for her. It was the first time he had sent for anything all day and she had started to worry about the amount of time he had gone without ringing the bell.
Is he avoiding me? She quickly blanked that thought out and turned her attention to her friend.
“Are you feeling better now?” she asked Aggy.
“My stomach is protesting a bit but I can hold out, I think,” Aggy replied miserably.
“Don’t push yourself so,” Petal warned.
The mysterious illness that had swept through the servants had taken half of them off their duties. While it didn’t really matter for one day, it was a situation that left the remaining staff picking up as much as they could and ran everybody ragged. Now that Mrs Kempton was also out of action, the maids were left to create meals out of the foodstuffs she had already prepared.
“The master wants his tea,” Rollo announced as he entered the kitchen.
“I am going,” Petal replied somewhat nervously.
Minutes later, she nudged her way into the room only to stop when she was immediately pinned beneath the dowager’s hawkish glare.
“Put them on the table over there,” she ordered briskly in a voice that made it clear how little she favoured servants.
Cheeks flushing with embarrassment and guilt, Petal turned her attention to her duties and tried valiantly to ignore the blossoming hurt in her heart. She poured the tea with a shaking hand and handed it out, followed by milk and sugar. It galled her to have to serve Edwards as well, but unless she snubbed the woman there was little she could do.
When she handed Aidan his cup, she risked a glance at him, but he was studying the dowager and didn’t appear to notice Petal was even there. His snub hurt more than anything she had ever experienced in her life. In that moment she felt cheap, sordid, and incredibly used.
“That will be all,” Edwards declared coldly.
The proprietary way she added sugar to Aidan’s cup was not missed by Petal, who battled tears when he merely murmured his thanks. He simply continued to listen to his mother extol the virtues of people Petal had never even heard of. They were all Lord this, or Lady that; people far beyond her rather small group of friends and colleagues. She didn’t know any of names, but they were all etched into her soul by the time she let herself out of the room. Each name added a wall of impenetrable distance between her and Aidan that made their assignation last night seem soul-wrenchingly the worst mistake of her life.
By the time she reached the door, tears had gathered on her lashes but she daren't let them fall for fear of revealing a weakness to Edwards that the woman could prey upon.
“Before you go, Petal, the chamber pot needs emptying,” Edwards drawled mockingly.
Petal closed her eyes for a moment and quietly disappeared behind the retiring screen. Although everything within her was telling her not to, she glanced over at Aidan, but he was studying his teacup as though there was something intriguing about it.
As she picked the chamber pot off the floor, her thoughts turned to the somewhat intimate embrace she had caught him in the other week with Edwards, and her confusion began to grow. Had she misread him completely? He was certainly reluctant to even acknowledge her now that he was with his family. While she hadn’t expected any outward displays of affection, she hadn’t anticipated being so blatantly ignored by him either. Not even their earlier friendliness was evident.
With her heart shattered, Petal hurried out of the room. Once back below stairs, she dealt with the chamber pot and sent Aggy back to the room with it before returning to her duties. For the first time that day, Petal was relieved there was a lot of chores to do. It helped take her mind of the horrifying realisation that last night she had most probably made the most colossal mistake ever. It could almost certainly have ruined her future. More importantly, there was only one way of dealing with the matter.
She had to leave her dreams, and Wenland Lodge, behind.
“I am warning you now to stay away from him,” Edwards drawled later that night when Petal was giving the kitchen table one final wipe down before going to bed.
Thankfully, Aggy had taken a little persuading to change jobs with her again. With Rollo’s agreement, Petal was now the new downstairs maid; for the time being at least. While she still hadn’t decided whether she could bear remaining in the same house as Aidan, she rather suspected that her future didn’t include being his maid for foreseeable future.
“I am just doing my job,” Petal replied noncommittally.
“Oh, I know what you are doing, but you are playing in waters that are deeper than you are supposed to go,” Edwards murmured knowingly.
“I don’t know what you mean.” In spite of her belligerence, her heart bega
n to pound as her dismay grew.
Had Edwards seen them last night?
“I think you do, but if you think you are anything other than a casual fling then think again. You are a servant. Someone who is paid; I guess we all know what that makes you now, don’t we?” Edwards mused coldly.
“You don’t know what you are talking about.” Petal knew from the glee in Edwards’ eyes that she was going to do everything possible to ruin her.
“If you want to behave like some back street doxy that is up to you, but remember your place in this house. You are the maid. You could never be anything more because you don’t have the connections I do. His family would never consider you anything other than a mistake. He is, after all, on medication and not thinking clearly. Once he is back on his feet he won’t even look twice at you.”
“Shut up,” Petal seethed. Her heart was breaking, but she wasn’t going to have Edwards spell it out to her. She searched for an argument but couldn’t find any. It galled her to acknowledge it but Edwards was right.
“I shall do no such thing. In fact, I wonder what the dowager would do if she knew what a little trollop he had working for him. I mean, I knew you were here to provide him with personal services, but I didn’t realise they included anything that personal.”
“That is enough,” Rollo declared coldly from the doorway.
Edwards jumped, having not realised he was there.
“Don’t you dare ever speak to any of the staff in this house like that again, Edwards, or I shall march you out of the door myself.”
“You cannot,” Edwards declared with an arrogant sniff. “I am to be the new lady of the house. Speak to the dowager if you don’t believe me. We are just waiting for Aidan to get well again so we can announce it to the ton.”
She turned a somewhat arrogant sneer on Petal.
“Do you know who the ton are? They are the epitome of society; one step below royalty. The majority of them, of whom I am one, have titles of which you wouldn’t even have heard, and have heraldic families going back hundreds of years. I am sure you wouldn’t know anything about that kind of thing, though. Not living in this quiet little backwater as you do.” She turned and pierced Rollo with a domineering look that made the butler’s brows lift. “I would watch your step as well, if I were you. As soon as I am lady of this house, I shall be making a few changes.” She raked Petal with a disparaging look from head to toe that left nobody in any doubt as to how lowly she considered her to be. “There are a few people who simply have to go.”
Yes, and I am one of them, Petal thought sadly as she watched her stalk arrogantly out of the room.
Because of Aidan’s quite pointed snub earlier, she knew she was now in an impossible situation. Her dreams of a better life working in a big house were now in tatters, alongside her heart.
“Don’t pay her any attention. I have heard the master talking about that one. She is leaving as soon as he can stand up long enough to throw her out.”
Petal nodded, but thought over the nocturnal activities she had shared with him last night, and suspected he already had the ability to walk wherever he wanted. He just hadn’t seen fit to walk Edwards to the door. Whether he wanted to or not was doubtful. However, she couldn’t say as much to Rollo.
Sensing he was studying her, she looked questioningly at him.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?” He asked kindly.
Petal felt her cheeks flush and knew he had overheard everything Edwards had just said, and believed it. She wanted to deny it, but couldn’t. Instead, she slowly shook her head but could do little to quell the tears that began to trickle slowly down her cheeks.
“It will be alright, you know,” he assured her.
He wouldn’t admit it to her, wasn’t sure it would be. Still, he trusted the master to do right by her. Whatever had happened between them, Aidan Quigley-Myers was not the kind of man who would ruin a young woman for sport. He would certainly have something planned before he took such liberties with her, a maid. He just hoped that Petal would be the one who would succeed over Edwards, and that the nurse’s her threat was nothing more than that; an empty threat.
“I need to leave,” she whispered.
“Let’s talk about this in the morning,” he suggested. “Get some rest first. It has been an incredibly tiring day for everybody. Hopefully, in the morning, the majority of the staff who are ill today will feel better and will be able to resume their duties. Take time to speak with him then. If you do so tonight, when your emotions are running so high, you are apt to say something you could regret.”
She nodded. She knew he was right. There was nothing wrong in taking a little time to think carefully about her actions. There was certainly no going back if she left and realised it was the wrong decision. However, there could be no other outcome, she knew it. She must return to her father’s farm where she belonged. After Aidan’s snub, she doubted there was any benefit in talking to him. He had made his regrets clear. There was no reason for her to stay.
Rollo nodded toward the stairs. “You go off to bed now. I will close up here.”
Minutes later, Petal let herself quietly into the room she shared with Aggy. Her friend was curled up on her side facing the wall, leaving Petal to change in private. The focus of her attention was firmly on the man who lay one floor down in the room she had spent last night in.
Thankfully, Aggy had been too ill to notice Petal hadn’t been in bed at all last night. When she had asked why Petal hadn’t been there when she woke up, Petal had lied. She had claimed she had slept in an empty room to give her friend the bed to herself. It felt terrible to have to lie to her, but couldn’t tell her the truth. Nobody apart from Rollo, and most probably Mrs Kempton now, need ever know the truth.
Once in bed, although she needed the peace, sleep was a long time coming. Her body ached, both inside and out, leaving her restless and on edge, and she had a helpless sense of regret she knew she could do nothing about.
She felt exactly the same in the morning when she woke up to the sound of five chimes from the clock in the hallway. Heaving her tired body out of bed, she quietly dressed and left the room. The last thing she wanted was to go about her chores, but if she lay in bed she would end up thinking about matters best left closed.
At the door to the upper landing she paused. She should go downstairs and light the kitchen fires first, if Rollo hadn’t already, but then she would only have to come back up again to light the fire in Aidan’s room.
Besides, you really want to see him again, a small voice whispered.
She didn’t, but neither could she deny herself, and so she crept quietly toward his room. Once there, she slowly and carefully nudged the door open and tiptoed inside. Sunlight was only just starting to creep over the horizon, and bathed the room in various shades of grey, but it was enough to allow her to see.
Her cry of dismay was smothered by her hand when her eyes landed on a scene she knew would remain with her for the rest of her life. At first, she couldn’t quite believe what was before her.
Outright denial was her first instinct. That couldn’t possibly be Aidan lying on his side in the bed, one long arm tucked around Edwards, could it? But she knew that it could be – and indeed was. The room swam alarmingly at the sight of the woman’s bared shoulders poking out from beneath the covers.
Petal felt sick at the horrifying realisation that she had been taken for a gullible fool began to sink in. There was no explanation for what she saw other than he had not been as decent, or as honest, as he had led her, and practically everyone else in the house, to believe.
The longer she stood there, the more something within her died. Hope, maybe? Whatever it was fuelled a survival instinct she hadn’t realised she possessed. It certainly gave her the strength to get out of the room and close the door behind her just as quietly as she had opened it.
Rather than make her way downstairs to start her chores, she returned to her room and woodenly began to pack her b
elongings into the small bag she had brought with her.
With no way to pen a note to her friend, she gathered her shawl around her stiff shoulders and left the room. She would leave a note for Rollo and ask him to tell Aggy that she would see her in the village on her next day off. She could explain everything then. Aggy need never know what had truly transpired to make her leave the position she had always dreamed of. However, Petal suspected that the gossip about her departure would be spread. She quickly blanked out what that gossip would be about; she rather suspected with Edwards in the house there would be no question that her reputation would be beyond repair.
Once in the kitchen, Rollo eyed the bag she carried and sighed deeply.
“Have you spoken to him?”
Petal sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him. The words hovered in the darker recesses of her mind, and she refused to even contemplate the image that now lingered there.
“He is a little busy right now,” she replied woodenly.
Rollo frowned. “At five o’clock in the morning?”
“Edwards is there.” She walked out of the house without saying anything else, leaving Rollo staring at her in shock.
As she walked through the gardens at the back of the house, she saw nothing of the neatly tended lawns and boxed hedges, or the folly nestled beneath the dangling branches of an enormous willow tree. She was blessedly numb. The steady patter of rainfall that soaked her skin and chilled her flesh didn’t even register on her senses. She felt little of the goose bumps on her arms, and merely clenched her fingers tighter against the early morning breeze that nipped at her fingers.
Nothing mattered to her now except for reaching the sanctuary of home. Her real home; the farm she shared with her father. The refuge she knew awaited her would always be with her father. She knew, deep inside, that as long as she could get there then everything would be alright with the world.