by A. L. Knorr
“She might be alright after all,” Tyson murmured through his fingers, eyes glued to the couple in the middle of the gym. “I’d never have paired those two in a century, but every semester has its surprises.”
I wanted to agree but words were stuck in my throat as a tangle of feelings made a knot there. What Tyson called a surprise, I called stacking the deck, and not in April’s favor. I felt like I was watching a locomotive head full speed toward a cliff where the tracks just end.
Twenty-Nine
Holly, Jolly Awkward
On the Friday of the first weekend of December, laughter and the sound of old-fashioned Christmas carols lured me down the hall to the first-year’s lounge. Pausing at the door, I watched as Kendall and Tomio worked on decorating a tree. Ryan, Jade and April were stringing lights along the mantlepiece, while Gage, Dar and Zack—the boy I’d always think of as Peter Pan—wrapped garlands over the bookcases. Two girls I didn’t know well, Lexi and Lora, occupied a table in the far corner signing Christmas cards. I’d heard other students refer to them as the L’s, which sounded like they were the Elle’s, which was a much better nickname than Queen Cagney, even if it was shared.
It had taken me almost until December to learn all their names, so I did a mental roll call. Only Patrick--who everyone called Patch--and Alex were missing from the lounge.
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree came on and Ryan grabbed April’s hand, pulling her into the space in front of the fireplace to dance. April threw her head back and laughed as Ryan manhandled her around the room like she was a stuffed pillowcase. Jade threw shredded paper at them and threatened to light it on fire if they didn’t hold the lights in place.
The L’s had glanced my way, but most hadn’t noticed me standing in the doorway. I was about to slip away quietly, knowing I wasn’t welcome anyway, when Tomio looked up and smiled, holding out an ornament as an invitation.
Feeling nervous, I crossed the room, skirting behind one of the sofas to avoid the flailing limbs of the dancing couple. Gage glanced over his shoulder briefly from his ladder perch. I sent him a hopeful smile. He turned back to the garland without so much as a blink or a twitch, and my smile melted away.
“Where did all these decorations come from?” I asked Tomio as I stepped up to the tree and took the ornament, then hunted for a place to put it.
“Dr. Price dropped them off. A box was delivered to every lounge for the students to use as they wish, as long as they promise to clean up the mess before we break for the holidays.” Tomio’s mouth did a cute, half-smile thing. “Funny how they assume students will make a mess.”
“Experience makes it a safe assumption,” I replied, glancing at the tinsel, tree-needles, and sparkles strewn around the room. Picking up a glass bauble with a red satin ribbon, I cleared my throat. “So, was this an organized thing?”
He half disappeared in the tree as he reached up to place a ceramic reindeer with three legs among the branches. “Not really. Jade found the box this morning and invited the first-years just before class started this morning.”
“Right.” The look on my face and my tone was enough.
“Sorry,” he said quietly, looking guilty. “I should have found you over lunch.”
“You’d be the only one who would bother to make the effort.” My words came out with a bitter ring so I forced a smile and made a show of hunting for where to place a sparkly bauble. If I saw that pitiful expression one more time, I’d either start to cry or throw the ornament at him.
Tomio picked another decoration from the box at our feet, keeping his voice low so only I could hear. “I’m not sure that was the wisest move on the headmaster’s part.”
I paused mid bauble-hanging. “What move?”
“Keeping you separate from us. I mean, I know you still have to graduate grade twelve, but wouldn’t it have been better to drag your grade 12 year out a little longer so you could have classes with us? Even one class would have been better than none.”
He was sweet to say it, and if I wasn’t Burned I would have agreed. “Maybe, but it’s too late for that now. Wrong or right.”
“Since exams are coming up and we have a fresh semester starting in the New Year, you could talk to him about it. See if he might let you take a theory class with us?” Tomio’s doe-eyes were hopeful. It was so nice that he genuinely wanted to involve me, that my throat felt scratchy.
“Thanks, Tomio,” I said as we reached for the same ornament at the same time. “Oops, sorry.”
Our fingers brushed against one another, the sensation of skin on skin disconcerted me.
Tomio selected a different ornament. “You take that one.”
It was only when disappointment tugged at my heart that I realized that I’d been subconsciously hoping, perhaps even expecting, that Tomio’s kindness had manifested a mage-bond between us. He’d been the only student who had remained civil since the confrontation with Ryan, and we’d never stopped sparring. I turned away in case the dismay I felt was all over my face, hooking a plastic replica of a glass slipper over a branch.
“Thanks for what?” Tomio asked.
It took me a second to remember that I’d thanked him. I tucked a curl behind my ear and fixed a smile as I retrieved another ornament, noticing that Patch and Alex had entered the lounge. All the first years were here now.
“For being the only one who still wants to include me.”
He reddened and looked away. “We all make mistakes.”
At that my heart plummeted into my shoes. Tomio was being kinder than the rest, but he still bought Ryan’s story. That might explain why there was still no bond between us, he was putting on an act, behaving inclusive and charitable, but because he was forgiving, not because he was on my side.
“You know,” I dropped the ornament I’d picked up back into the box and straightened, “I’m feeling pretty tired. I think I’ll call it a night.”
Tomio’s brows pinched and he opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted when Jade clapped her hands.
“Everyone.” She got up on the coffee table in the middle of the seating area. Cradled against her stomach was an old-fashioned biscuit—cookie—tin. “Attention, please.”
Dar turned down the music, and then hiked up his pants as he faced her.
“I have your names on slips of paper inside this tin.” She shook it and it gave a bony rattle. She popped off the lid and held it out to her left.
“You first, Ken. You’re the youngest.”
Kendall was reaching toward it when Gage spoke up. “Actually, Saxony is the youngest.”
I sent Gage a smile I didn’t feel, more out of ingrained manners than anything else. Was I supposed to be grateful? I didn’t want to take part in some stupid gift exchange with a bunch of people who hated me.
“Just to be fair.” Gage shrugged.
“I totally forgot.” Jade laughed a little too loudly before turning to me. “Did you want to be part of the Secret Santa exchange? I wasn’t sure, you know. You being in a class all on your own, and all that.”
I opened my mouth but again Gage got there first.
“It’s Christmas, Jade. That has nothing to do with classes or degrees. A little generosity is in order, don’t you think?”
Something with spikes on it rolled around in my skull as my temper flared. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before I said something I’d regret. Generosity? How about awakening to the fact that your brother is deranged and disturbed.
You might have heard a pin drop if it wasn’t for the background strains of Bing Crosby singing about his dreams of a white Christmas.
“Yeah, let’s not be Scrooges,” Ryan added, opening one arm to the room in a magnanimous swing while pulling April in to his side with the other.
It took everything I had not to ignite the star destined for the top of the tree and whip it straight at Ryan’s head.
Jade’s face was frozen for what seemed like a full ten seconds before she turned to me. “Well?
Paper and marker are there.” She nodded at the mantelpiece.
A flush of fury was creeping its way up my neck. The worst part of it was that I knew it looked like I was embarrassed. I wasn’t. I was livid.
“That’s alright,” I said. “I wouldn’t know what to get anyone anyway.” Lumps of coal, whispered my mind.
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Jade sniped. She dropped off the coffee table and marched over to the mantel. Every movement was sharp as she tore off a piece of paper and scrawled my name on it. Slamming down the pen, she chucked my name in the tin. It was an accurate portrayal of how she felt about me, not that I needed any further clarity.
She closed the tin and shook it like it contained a venomous insect, then she plastered on a smile and took her place on the table again. Popping the lid off, she held the tin out for me.
Part of me wanted to uppercut the tin and send it flying, another wanted to detonate Jade into the nearest wall. I settled for pulling a name out of the tin and feeling proud that I’d not stooped to making a scene. Without looking at the name I’d pulled, I returned to my place by the tree and waited as the rest of the students took their turn. I really wished Tomio hadn’t spotted me at the door.
When the last student had drawn the last name, Jade put the lid on the tin and tucked it under her arm. “Spend limit of twenty quid and—whether you buy or make one or several little ones over the next two weeks--your gift is due the night before we break for the holidays. Everyone make sure to grab a stocking from the red box on the sideboard. Hang it on your bedroom door and wait for the magic to happen.”
She gave an exaggerated toothy smile and wiggled her fingers like a cartoon witch doing a spell. She was going for enthusiasm but came off like a Scooby Doo villain. It was so weird it almost made her likable.
Jamming the paper in my pocket, I turned to Tomio, ready to dismiss myself for real this time.
Tomio bared his teeth in a maniacal grin, rolling his eyes as he mouthed, “Lunatic Barbie”. When he added the wiggling fingers it became such an uncanny impersonation of Jade that I couldn’t help laughing. Much of the resentment I’d been feeling drained away.
Tomio held out an ornament and I hesitated. “I am pretty tired.”
He began to mime slowly melting into depression and lethargy, the hand holding the ornament drooping like a wilted rose. His face slowly filled with the sad wrinkles of a Mastiff puppy. I watched, transfixed by his dramatics.
Someone cranked the carols back up and a funky remix of Mistletoe & Holly blew apart any remaining tension in the room.
Tomio perked up like someone had yanked on his strings, bobbing his head to the music. He shoved the ornament into my hand with a harmonized wail, “Shut up and dance, woman!”
“You’re an absolute nut.” I shook my head but took the ornament. His goofing around had done the trick and I decided to stay and finish the tree with him. Slinking off would only give Jade the satisfaction of knowing she’d upset me.
It wasn’t until I returned to my room and had hung my borrowed stocking on an adhesive hook on my door that I checked to see who I owed a gift to. Unfolding the paper as I closed the door, my heart and stomach switched places as I read Gage’s name in Jade’s loopy handwriting.
Thirty
In For The Kill
Twenty minutes before lights out the night before the first-year’s practical exam, I wandered into the lounge. I wanted to know how his History of the Mages exam had gone, since he often complained of having a poor memory for facts and dates. The hum of low conversation stopped when I appeared in the doorway.
Ryan and April sat on the couch in front of the fireplace but not in their usual cuddly position. Ryan had his arms crossed and his gaze down, a frown pinching his features. April was turned toward him with one knee up on the sofa. Her hand lay on the space of fabric between them as though she was hoping he would reach over and take it. Their body language screamed that there’d been a disagreement, one April was at fault for.
Jade was perched on the arm of a loveseat, chewing gum and twirling the end of a lock of hair around a finger, while Kendall sat in the loveseat absorbed in a fire-skills manual. They appeared to be oblivious to any tension between Ryan and April.
Tomio and Dar, who’d stopped talking to look up when I appeared, went back into quiet conversation, but not before Tomio beckoned me over with a jerk of his chin.
Gage sat in one of the three window seats, staring outward. The mirror image of the room lay before him in the dark looking glass of the window. The distinct appearance of my bright red hair reflected there would be impossible to miss, but he didn’t acknowledge my presence in any way. As always, his indifference opened paper cuts all over my heart.
As I headed to Tomio and the small card table he and Dar occupied, I caught Ryan flicking a look at Jade before he passed into my periphery.
“Hey.” Tomio pulled out a chair for me. “How did your high-school exams go today?”
Dar leaned back in his chair and threaded his fingers behind his head. His gaze drifted away but he didn’t get up and leave as he’d done in prior encounters. That was progress.
“English lit was easy.” I kept my voice low. Somehow it didn’t feel right to raise it in such a quiet room. “Biology is anyone’s guess. How did History of Mages go?”
“About as expected. I think I passed.”
I leaned toward Tomio and whispered. “Why is it so weird in here?”
Tomio shrugged and made a clueless face.
“Gage.” Ryan spoke in a voice loud enough to make half of us visibly jump.
Gage’s head whipped toward his twin. “Yeah?”
Ryan craned his neck to look at Gage, but he didn’t uncross his arms or get up. “I forgot to tell you that dad called earlier. He told me to ask you to call him as soon as you can. It sounded urgent.”
Gage swung his legs off the window seat and stood, looking alarmed. “When? Did he sound upset?”
“Hard to say,” Ryan replied. “Sorry I forgot until now. You’d better call him.”
Nodding, Gage left the room. He didn’t spare me a glance.
A moment later, Ryan turned to April. Without tempering his volume, he said, “I can’t believe you would let me down like that. It’s the night before the practical. You know how important this is to both of us.”
My arms prickled as all the air was sucked from the room. Our bodies moved as one to fix our eyes on the unfolding drama, then all movement ceased. It was as though a spotlight had lit over the couple on the couch.
Even from the side I registered April’s stricken expression.
“I already said I’m sorry,” she replied, voice unsteady and thick with pent up emotion. “I’m not sure how many more times I’ll have to say it. But I’ve also told you many times that when you upset me, I lose control of my fire. When you lose your temper like you did, it affects me. Don’t lose your temper, and I won’t let you down. It’s simple. That’s how partnerships work.”
Though it was obvious she was upset, I admired April for the calm with which she delivered this logic.
But Ryan shook his head. I could only see the side of his face, but his expression was frigid. From his position in the room emanated frost and sharp edges, like an ice monarch unleashing the razors and barbs of winter on an unsuspecting kingdom. April received the brunt of it, but we were all unwilling witnesses to and victims of it.
“You’re right, you won’t let me down again,” he replied. “I can’t afford for you to mess up my grades.” Ryan got to his feet.
My heart sped up. This was it. This was the promised sabotage. I glanced around the room. Jade watched with an expectant look, and poorly concealed glee.
“Wh- what are you saying?” April stood and put her hands out to touch Ryan’s arms.
He brushed her off with a small gesture which screamed that he was repelled by her.
April’s eyes teared up, her face crumpled. She tried to say his name but it came ou
t on a breathy squeak.
Ryan stepped back from April, shooting her a disgusted look. “Jade? You’ll be my partner for tomorrow. I can’t work with this mess.”
On cue Jade slid off the arm of the loveseat. The room watched, spellbound, as Betty Boop flounced past April and draped an arm over Ryan’s shoulder. The look she gave April was a hybrid of pity and triumph.
Kendall looked up from his book, indignant. “Jade is my partner!”
“Not any more,” Jade said as she and Ryan headed for the door. She threw carefree words over her shoulder the way a bride blindly tosses a bouquet. “April’s available now. You two can fail the exam together.”
“Steady on.” Dar got to his feet, the first of us to pull himself together enough to protest. “Is that even legal?”
Jade and Ryan paused at the doorway. Ryan didn’t say anything, didn’t even look at Dar. It was as though Jade had become his mouthpiece.
“There’s no rules preventing us from switching partners at any time up to the start of the exam.”
The pair disappeared through the doorway.
Kendall gave a strange tearless sob of shock as he and April looked at one another. She was crying in earnest now, nearly bent in half at the waist.
“B-b-but … all we did,” April sniffed and reached out a limp hand at the place Ryan had been standing. “Everything we practiced … we were so g-good …”
Emotions and thoughts crashed around in my body, getting hopelessly tangled. My stomach churned like I’d swallowed a kipper and banana shake as April fell apart in front of everyone. I had warned her this would happen. The exact thing Ryan had told me he’d do, he’d done. She had chosen to believe Ryan over me. This was what lying in the bed she made looked like, still, no one deserved to be treated the way she was being treated. It made me feel ill.
Kendall threw his book on the floor. “Great. Way to go, April. This is all your fault.”
April seemed incapable of speech. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as a hand fluttered to her mouth.