Hell Without You

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Hell Without You Page 17

by Ranae Rose


  “You’d want me to do that?”

  “Yes.” Her heart leapt. Was he mad? Why would he be if he’d really meant what he’d said about having bought the house in hopes that she’d return to it? They were together now … wasn’t staying that way more important than a piece of real estate?

  “But it’s your grandmother’s house. You love that place.”

  “I know.” A pang of sadness sailed through her chest. “And I always will. But I love you more than any house. I’m okay with only having memories of my grandmother, but I need more than that when it comes to you. I want to spend every night with you, not visit you on weekends.”

  “Clementine…”

  “Yeah?”

  “You sure you mean it? You want me to sell, and you want us to find a new place together?”

  “Absolutely sure. Will you do it?”

  “Hell yes, I will.” A smile tugged at one side of his mouth, then the other, transforming his face completely. Even with the bandage at his hairline, he looked gorgeous.

  Unable to resist, she went to him, placing her hands just below his chest, careful not to apply pressure that might hurt his fractured collarbone. “Why do you seem so surprised? I mean, I know it’s a brilliant idea, but still.”

  “Sometimes I’m afraid you’ll leave again – decide you don’t want me. I was dreaming about it the other night, when I got in that wreck. Dreamed that you drove off and I went after you. Couldn’t shake the feeling, at first, even after I woke up. Couldn’t believe it, either, when Ricardo said you were on your way. Now here you are and you want to live with me – for good.”

  “For good,” she repeated, raising one hand to touch his jaw, letting her fingertips rest against his freshly-shaven skin. “Leaving would be a nightmare for me, too.”

  “Hey guys.” Ricardo’s bare feet slapped against the linoleum in the nearby hallway. “I was thinking…” He emerged dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, his short hair still wet from his recent shower. “Since you’re here and Donovan’s supposed to relax, wanna go to the beach?”

  Donovan raised a brow, his gaze still locked with Clementine’s. “Do you?”

  “Do you? You’re the one who’s supposed to be taking it easy.”

  “Of course I do – it’s been years since I’ve seen you in a bikini.”

  She dropped her hand, unable to suppress a smile. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

  “Nude beach it is, then.” Donovan grinned, turning to Ricardo. “There’s one not too far from here, isn’t there?”

  “Yeah.” Ricardo grinned too. “You’ll be wearing more than anyone there with all those bandages.”

  “Let’s just stick with a regular beach,” Clementine said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a real, Southern beach and I’m not so sure I’m ready to expose everything to the Florida sun. Since Ricardo knows so much about the local beaches, I’m sure he knows where I can buy a suit.”

  * * * * *

  “Maybe I’ve got it all wrong – maybe we need to relocate down here,” Clementine said as she and Donovan walked hand-in-hand along the shore, close enough to the water that the surf sprayed their ankles and lapped at their toes, so warm it was hard to believe it was October. The Florida heat that had scorched her when she’d stepped off the plane felt heavenly now, especially as it waned with evening, growing less intense.

  “You like it here?” Donovan had borrowed a pair of shorts from Ricardo. Besides them, he wore only bandages.

  “I spent the last seven years in New York. Cold, cold New York. I love it here.”

  “A Southern girl at heart,” he said, “until you have your first run-in with a gator or water moccasin, I bet.”

  “I’m a fan of the beach, anyway. Too bad we don’t have the ocean in Pennsylvania – I could definitely get used to these walks.”

  “At least we’ve got our hikes in PA. The beach is nice, but it’s not very private, if you know what I mean.” The setting sun caught his eyes, making them gleam as he flashed her the slightest smile. “I can think of a few things I’d like to do with you if this beach wasn’t crawling with people.”

  In truth, the beach wasn’t overcrowded – most swimmers and sunbathers had gone home or back to their hotels for the day – but it definitely wasn’t abandoned enough for what Donovan was talking about.

  “That’s true,” she admitted. “I’d miss the hiking. This is nice though, too.” She tore her gaze away from shirtless Donovan long enough to admire the strip of sky visible above the sea, purple and dotted with hazy clouds that were striped with the orange light of the sinking sun. “Really romantic … even if all we can do is hold hands. Not that you need to be exerting yourself anyway.”

  “Who says I’d be exerting myself? Look at you in that bikini – you’re in great shape. You could do all the exerting if we had the chance.” He grinned.

  Ricardo splashed up to them before she could reply, jogging through shallow surf and kicking up water that smelled of salt and sunshine. “Hey, if you two can tear your eyes away from each other for five seconds, there’s something really cool to look at over there.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

  “What – those girls playing volleyball?” Clementine asked. A dozen women, most of them bikini-clad, were enjoying an evening game on the beach, and Ricardo wore dark sunglasses that made it difficult to tell where he was looking.

  “Besides that,” Ricardo said, pointing out to sea. “Dolphins.”

  Clementine scanned the deep blue line of distant waters and was surprised when several leaping forms caught her eye, much closer to shore than she’d expected them to be. “Wow.” Sleek and steel grey, the creatures swam at the surface, triangular fins and bottle-nosed faces cutting through the whitecaps. “I’ve never seen a dolphin in the wild before.”

  “I’ve counted five of them,” Ricardo said. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

  She nodded, squeezing Donovan’s hand a little more tightly. “Gorgeous.” They were so graceful and so close, leaping out of the water as if to show off.

  “Like you,” Donovan said, squeezing back.

  A thrill coursed through Clementine, scorching her from the inside out.

  “Geez,” Ricardo said, shaking his head as he stared out to sea. “You two act like you’re on your honeymoon or something. Now I see what Donovan was singing about. Oh my darlin’…” He broke into a few notes of song, and he really was as tuneless as Donovan had accused him of being.

  “Shut up, Suarez,” Donovan said. “I’ve gotta ask Clementine something.”

  A frisson raced down Clementine’s spine despite the heat, a ripple of hyper-awareness she couldn’t explain. There was something in Donovan’s voice…

  CHAPTER 13

  “Clementine, I know this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. I’m doing this out of order – I don’t even have a ring.”

  Another ripple, another bolt of expectation. Oh God… Was this really happening?

  “But I figure seven years is long enough to wait for what I’ve wanted to ask you ever since I was sixteen. When we go home and start looking for a new place together, I want it to be for good. Forever. I can’t stand the thought of it being anything but. I’ve got you back, and I want to keep you. Will you marry me?”

  He squeezed her hand more tightly than ever, and she could feel his intensity, the beating of a heart he’d just laid out on the line.

  His proposal was as unexpected as her sudden trip to Florida, as the Miami sunset and the dolphins leaping through the turquoise water. The shock and romance of it all twisted around her heart, squeezing and making the backs of her eyes sting. No, this wasn’t the way things usually went, but it was very Donovan. Her heart skipped a beat as she met his eyes, a soft grey in the light of the setting sun. “Yes.”

  A light that had nothing to do with the sunset shone in his gaze. “Really?”

  She’d just made her first really impulsive decision in seven years, and the thrill of it was
like a high. She laughed. “As if I could say no. Donovan … I love you. I always have, even if I’ve messed up – even if I haven’t had the chance to show it. You know that.”

  “Damn it,” he muttered, his expression serious. “I forgot I was supposed to get down on one knee.” Abruptly, he sank down into the sand, kneeling in front of her as he continued to shelter her hand in his. “Whenever you think back, just remember it this way – like I was down here all along.”

  Before she could say a word, a wave crashed at her feet, swirling around her ankles and sending a heavy spray of water flying against the side of his face. He squeezed his eyes shut against it as it dampened his hair and soaked his shorts, leaving his jaw dripping.

  “Well, I’m definitely going to remember this,” she said, unable to stifle more laughter. “But your bandages…” She pulled on his hand. “Hurry up and stand before you get soaked again. Is your hand wet?”

  He stood, looking down at his sling and bandaged hand, grimacing. “Barely. Wave mostly got my other side.”

  “Jesus, what I wouldn’t have given to have had my phone just then,” Ricardo said, patting the empty pockets of his board shorts. “I never would’ve let you live that picture down.”

  Donovan didn’t say a word as he wrapped an arm around Clementine’s waist, drawing her up hard against the front of his body. When his lips met hers, they tasted like sea water. She yielded to the pressure of his tongue, succumbing to a kiss that lasted for a full minute.

  “There’ll be a ring,” he said when their lips parted. “We can look for one while we’re here, if you want. Lots of jewelers in Miami.”

  “Don’t worry about it now,” she said, unable to resist glancing down at her left hand, where all her fingers were bare. “Let’s just enjoy the evening.” She was still glowing on the inside, and the dolphins were still jumping in and out of the waves – in that moment, she never wanted the evening to end. The past and the future were as far away as Willow Heights – there was only Donovan and their immediate happiness. It shone down on her from all around, much like the last few beams of Florida sun.

  * * * * *

  “I feel kind of sad that we’re leaving Ricardo,” Clementine said as she and Donovan walked side-by-side through the Miami International Airport. “He’s such a nice guy. I hope he’ll be okay with you gone.”

  Donovan wouldn’t have made the last-second trip to Florida if his friend hadn’t needed him, and although everything had turned out okay with his arrest and related troubles, the incident that had caused it would’ve been enough to give anyone nightmares, which apparently Ricardo already suffered from, like Donovan.

  Ricardo had woken up screaming one night, and the sound had easily carried to the next room over, waking her with a jolt of fear. For a minute, she’d wondered if intruders had broken in again, but Donovan had told her that Ricardo woke up from nightmares like that, sometimes.

  Despite it all, he’d been a gracious host and had clearly enjoyed having Donovan around again. And the beaches he’d taken them to had been amazing.

  “He’ll be all right,” Donovan said. “Some days are worse than others – that’s true for everybody. I’d been meaning to visit him, anyway.”

  “Yeah… I almost wish I didn’t have to start my new job Monday so we could stay longer.”

  They’d decided to fly out of Miami on Saturday afternoon, which would give Clementine a day to rest before her first day on the job. Really, she wanted Sunday to make sure Donovan was settled in at the house, not for her own sake. Since being discharged, he hadn’t displayed any of the post-concussion syndrome signs the doctor at the hospital had warned them to watch for, but she wouldn’t have been comfortable with traveling back to PA and immediately leaving him alone for an entire day.

  “Not tired of the beach yet?”

  “No way. In fact, let’s come back to visit Ricardo again in a couple months – I’d much rather be here in the dead of winter than in Pennsylvania.” By then, she’d have the credit card debt she’d accumulated during her current trip paid off. That thought had her a little more excited about starting work the day after tomorrow.

  “I’m sure Ricardo will appreciate that. Maybe we can spend Christmas with him.”

  “Good idea.” It wasn’t like she or Donovan had any family to spend the holiday with.

  “How long do we have until our flight starts boarding?”

  She glanced down at her boarding pass just to be sure. “Just under an hour.”

  “Want to get something to eat?”

  Just as he spoke, the scent of grilled chicken drifted from a nearby restaurant, reminding her that they’d skipped lunch. She, Donovan and Ricardo had enjoyed their morning at the beach so much that they’d stayed longer than they’d intended and had rushed to the airport afterward, afraid of being late. “Sure.”

  They settled down at a bar and grill, and as she laid her hands on the tabletop, a bright gleam caught her eye. A smile leapt to her lips as she focused on the gem sparkling on her left hand. She still hadn’t gotten used to the feel or sight of the ring, which Donovan had insisted on buying for her the day before. It was golden with a modest but nicely-cut diamond – she’d practically begged him not to buy anything too expensive, especially considering the fresh medical and credit card debt they’d accumulated over the past week.

  In the end, he’d spent more than she would’ve preferred, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t love the ring. Mostly because of what it represented, though it was beautiful, too.

  Engaged to Donovan, who until just a couple of weeks ago, she hadn’t seen for seven years. It was crazy … and it felt right.

  She thought of the flood, the rain, his kisses, his dark looks and the terrifying moments outside and in the kitchen after midnight, even the sight of his hand red-hot and freshly burnt… All of it whirled inside her mind, but a sense of satisfaction prevailed. He’d said it had been hell without her, and that had struck a chord somewhere deep inside her … it had been hell without him, too. An empty, passionless hell she’d done her best to thrive in, to fill with meaningful accomplishments. Now she knew … none of it had meant anything without him.

  * * * * *

  “Maybe we should’ve saved Ann’s for tomorrow night,” Clementine said as she steered her car away from town and toward the house. Daylight was quickly fading, and light rain hit the windshield, making for a grey Sunday evening. “You know, since I start my new job tomorrow. By the time I make the commute back from DC, it’ll be too late to cook much of anything.”

  “I’ll handle dinner,” Donovan said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Oh yeah? Well, it’ll be interesting to see what you’re able to cook with only one usable arm.”

  “I didn’t say it would be good, but it’ll be … food.”

  “You know, I could just pick something up after work.”

  “It’d get cold being in the car for almost two hours. Leave dinner to me. I’ll have all day to come up with something.”

  He didn’t sound too happy about it, and she couldn’t blame him for stressing over missing more work. He was the only mechanic, which meant that the only work getting done while he recovered was painting, which Mike handled. “Okay. Hey … I wonder what’s going on up here?”

  The normally empty stretch of field and tree-lined road was ablaze with lights – red and blue lights. The black and white bodies of police vehicles stood out stark and bold beneath, each emblazoned with the words Willow Heights Police. “This almost looks like the entire police department in one spot.”

  She slowed down, put on her blinker and crept into the empty other lane, giving the half a dozen emergency vehicles a wide berth. There was no telling what the point of interest was. Crime scene tape had been strung up around a seemingly empty section of uncut grass, including the ditch beside the road.

  “Some kind of accident, maybe?” Donovan suggested.

  “Maybe. Looks like it’s already been cleaned up, if
that’s the case – there are no wrecked vehicles, and I don’t see any civilians. God, you don’t think someone was walking along the road and got hit, do you?” The idea sent a shiver racing down her spine, sharp and cold, as she thought of Donovan’s sleepwalking mishaps.

  “Hope not.” His face was cast in blue and then red as the cruiser lights flashed through the passenger-side window.

  Clementine still felt colder than the temperature accounted for as she cleared the scene, speeding up a little as she left the cars and yellow tape behind.

  She only made it a few yards before sirens sounded behind her, and then lights were flashing directly in her rearview mirror, blocking her view of anything else. “What the… I know I wasn’t speeding.” She put on her blinker and pulled over, careful to avoid the ditch.

  “If there was an accident, maybe they’re looking for people who witnessed it. Probably not a big deal,” Donovan said.

  Clementine put down her window as an officer approached. Raindrops blew in, landing on her jacket sleeve and freshly sun-tanned hand, gleaming against the gold and diamond of her new ring. The stone flashed red and blue in the police cruiser’s lights.

  The officer leaned down, peered into the car, and spoke before she could. “Ms. Lettvin?”

  “Yes.” How – why – did he know her name? She could read his on the front of his uniform, but wouldn’t have known it otherwise.

  “And you’re Donovan Kemp?” the officer asked, looking past Clementine.

  “That’s right,” Donovan said from beside her.

  “Mr. Kemp, I’m Detective Wagner and I’d like to ask you a few questions related to the murder of Trevor Grier.”

  Clementine’s heart leapt into her throat, and the red and blue lights swam before her eyes, blurring. “What?”

 

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