by Linda Style
What Amelia Gentry said mattered in Spirit Creek, and many of the old-timers looked to her for direction on just about everything that happened in the small town. Cole was real familiar with the matriarch. For years his mother had cleaned the Gentry place on the hill just on the outskirts of town. Cole and Travis had played together…until the elder Mrs. Gentry had put a stop to it.
He and Ed watched the woman walk away, then Ed said, “Old biddy.” He turned to Cole. “For what it’s worth, it took a long while for people to see that I’d changed and that I’m not the hell-raiser I was in high school,” he said. “Give it some time.”
“Thanks.” Cole clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s good to know.” Except that he didn’t have time. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stay in Spirit Creek forever.
Ed smiled, and Cole noticed that the slight overbite many of the kids had made fun of back in the day had been fixed.
“So,” Ed said, “a bunch of us are going to have a stag party for Travis next Friday. He’s getting married in a couple of weeks.”
“Really?”
“Didn’t Ryan tell you?”
Cole shook his head. Ryan hadn’t said a word. Neither had his mother. “Nope. But Ryan’s been gone a lot, so we haven’t had much chance to talk. Doesn’t matter, because I’ve got a full schedule, anyway.” And from the scorn in Mrs. Gentry’s eyes, Cole doubted a renewed friendship between Travis and him would come anytime soon, much less be received with open arms.
As Ed started to go, he said, “Hey, stop by the bar when you can. There’re always a few of the guys hanging out or playing pool. Maybe you’ll want to get in on the tournament.”
Cole had no doubts that going to the bar would be the worst thing for him to do. But those who thought the poorest of him thought it anyway, so going didn’t really matter. “Sure. Maybe I will.”
The music that had been playing in the background, mostly upbeat stuff, became a little softer and switched to a slow yet jazzy version of Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose.” The song brought back more memories than he wanted. He turned to see what band was playing…and spotted Serena, who was dancing with one of their former classmates, Brody Romano. Cole’s gut clenched. No, he was wrong about going to the bar. There was something else that would be the worst thing he could possibly do.
And, God help him, he just might do it.
THOUGH SERENA WAS DANCING with Brody, she was still shaking off the sensation of Cole’s warm touch. She and Cole had been eye to eye, skin against skin…and before she knew it, her old longings and desires had come rushing back. Silly. Really silly. She focused on Brody, trying to put her mind on her dance partner, where it should be.
“So, how about it?” Brody pulled back to look at her.
“I…I’m sorry. What did you say?”
He frowned, his eyes darting as if he wanted to see what might’ve taken her attention away from him. “I asked if you’d like to go to a movie with me tomorrow. Not as a date, though. Just as a friend.”
“I—I don’t know. I’ll…have to check my schedule,” she said, sounding far too businesslike. But those were the only words that popped to mind. Being friends with someone she’d dated was fine if it could really be that way. Only, in her experience it never could. “If I can’t go, I bet there are any number of women who’d want to go with you.”
Abruptly, his hold tightened. “I don’t care to go with any number of women, Serena. I want to go with you.”
Serena instantly pulled away. She’d never seen Brody so uptight. And she didn’t like it.
He must’ve sensed her discomfort, because he said, “I, uh…I don’t have any other friends quite like you.”
She coughed to stop him from saying anything more. “I’ll have to check and let you know. And right now, I really, really need to find the ladies’ room.” She pivoted and headed toward the park facilities, leaving him in the middle of the dance floor.
“I’ll wait over there,” he said, pointing to the first-aid booth, where Natalia was giving the last CPR demo of the festival. He smiled. “So we can finish our dance.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s been a long day. I’m kinda tired.”
He frowned. “It’s him, isn’t it? It’s Cole. You’ve still got a thing for him, don’t you?”
She ignored his questions and kept going, and then she stayed in the bathroom for as long as she could. She didn’t want to sit with Brody any more tonight. She didn’t want to dance with him, either. And if he didn’t understand, she’d make it perfectly clear.
She washed her hands a second time, then slowly dried them with a paper towel. When she had first moved back to town and bought the old Victorian house that eventually became the Cosmic Bean, Brody had been one of the guys who’d helped paint the place and do some other repairs. But none of the other guys who’d assisted had hung around after the work was done. They now came in for coffee and a sandwich once in a while, but that was it.
Sighing, she knew she owed them all a debt of gratitude—Brody, Travis Gentry and his brothers, Josh and Griff, Ed Torberg, even the sheriff, and when Brody started hanging around, she’d thought it was because of the friendship they’d formed. Brody had just broken up with his girlfriend, and Serena, as a friend, had been there to listen. It had been nice for her to have a good friend, but that was all it had ever been.
The door opened and Regina Gentry walked in. “Hey, Serena.”
“Hi, Ginny,” Serena said, realizing she couldn’t stay in the ladies’ room any longer. She’d long ago gotten over the fact that Ginny had been with Cole that night.
With a toss of her head, Ginny flicked her long dark hair behind her shoulders. “It’s really cool that Cole’s back, isn’t it?”
It took a moment for Serena to respond. “Um, yeah, it’s nice. Ryan’s real happy about it.”
Ginny eyed Serena uneasily. “Would it…bother you if I went out with Cole?”
Caught off guard, Serena gulped. “Would it both—Oh, um, no, of course not. Why would it?”
Raising her hands, Ginny shrugged. “Just making sure.”
“Well, you can be absolutely sure,” Serena said, but the pang she felt in her chest told her she wasn’t sure at all.
“Oh, good. I know how you two were before and I just thought—”
“That was years ago.”
“Just wanted to be sure.” She beamed from ear to ear.
Serena managed a grimace of a smile. “Be my guest.” She turned and left, unsure which direction to go to avoid seeing anyone. If one more person mentioned Cole or told her how she felt, or should feel, about him, she would scream.
No one knew how she felt. She didn’t even know.
COLE WATCHED FOR SERENA to return the same way she’d gone, but ten minutes had passed and still no Serena. His booth was packed up to go, but he’d made a decision that when she came back, he was going to talk to her. Or at least, let her know that he wanted to.
Brody stood near the first-aid booth, chatting with Mac and Natalia, but he kept checking his watch. Maybe he was waiting for Serena, too. And if that was the case, Cole was unlikely to get a chance to speak to her tonight.
The music had stopped for a while because the band was on a break, but now they were tuning up again. Hearts On Fire was a local group he and Ryan used to jam with once in a while. But Cole’s guitar playing pretty much sucked. For sure it wasn’t at the level it had to be for a band member.
He hadn’t picked up a guitar since he had left town, but when the band started playing, he remembered the feeling. It was like being injected with molten energy. Nothing could compare. Well, almost nothing. Making love with Serena had topped everything. More than once he’d wondered what that would be like now—with all the innocence gone.
His body quickly responded to the thought. Not good. He glanced at the small group of women who’d been hanging around his booth earlier and who’d asked him to join them later. He’d brushed off the invitation, but why no
t take them up on it? He felt like dancing, and dancing with a stranger right now seemed safer.
One of the women caught his eye and waved him over. There were five of them, ranging in age from early to late twenties. The one who’d waved was around twenty-seven and she was attractive. But oddly, the hormones that had kicked in when he’d been thinking of Serena couldn’t be revived. And now this other woman was walking toward him. No escape.
“Hi, remember me?” she said.
He smiled. She was pretty, with a great body, and she was about half his height. Unlike Serena, who was close to his height and had fit perfectly against him. Way back when. He forced away the thought and focused on the girl. “How could I not?”
“This is a great song. Do you want to dance?”
He glanced at the now-crowded dance floor and was about to beg off, when he saw Serena with Quint. Dancing. His chest tightened. She was smiling and laughing, looking into Quint’s eyes. Serena was even more beautiful than when she was younger…in a more mature way. Sexy. Yet she still had that little-girl look about her. Maybe it was the curly, strawberry-blond hair, a little tamer now than previously, the freckles across her nose, though he hadn’t seen if they were still there. When she’d helped him up, he’d been too shocked to notice anything but her eyes. Her amazing eyes.
He pulled his gaze from Quint and Serena and brought it to the eager woman in front of him. “Sure,” he said. “Why not.”
As they moved to the floor, he vaguely heard the girl introduce herself as Miranda Dooley. The dance floor was jammed. Everyone seemed to be dancing, locals and tourists alike, and everyone was having a good time. Everyone but him. Not that it mattered.
“How can you live in such a small town?” the woman asked as they began dancing. “Isn’t it boring?”
“I lived in Chicago and found that pretty boring. I lived in California and found that boring. And now I’m here dancing with you, and it’s much more interesting,” he lied.
She smiled, and he tried to smile back, but he couldn’t muster much enthusiasm. And the floor was so crowded now he felt as though he was playing human bumper cars. Getting thumped from all sides, he attempted to avoid another dancer and stepped on Miranda’s foot. “Sorry,” he said. “I think I’d be just as happy to sit this one out.”
Instantly, she moved closer, her legs molding against his. “No. Let’s finish. I didn’t mean you were boring. I just can’t imagine moving here from California. I’d love to live in Hollywood. Or Malibu. Or Santa Monica. Or—”
“So, why don’t you?” Cole’s impatience surged. Just then Cole noticed Travis Gentry heading over from the other side of the open area, his expression as dark as a thunderstorm.
“If it were that easy, I’d be there right now. But it’s complicated.” Travis tapped her on the shoulder. She pivoted. “Trav. Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here?” she inquired, as if surprised. But for some reason Cole didn’t feel she was.
“You know damn well,” he said, before scowling at Cole. “Sorry, man. My fiancée is trying to make the point that I work too much.” He grabbed her hand and began to lead her away.
Cole looked at the girl, who shrugged. “Sorry,” she mouthed, and then the two walked off, leaving Cole in the middle of the dance floor.
The song was over, too, so Cole decided it was as good a time as any to blow this gig and go home. Just as he made a move to leave, he spotted Serena by herself at the edge of the crowded dance floor. She stood there watching and swaying with the music and then the song ended. She turned. Their eyes met.
Another song began, “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Everyone around Cole melted away, and his universe narrowed to one person. Time suddenly seemed suspended as, hesitantly, he took one step toward her. He held his breath…took another step, then another, almost in slow motion, until they were only inches apart. As natural as anything in the world had ever been, Cole extended his hand. “May I have this dance? I’d like to talk to you.”
Blood thundered through his veins as he waited for her answer. Her expression shifted from surprise to puzzlement. Then, after the longest moment of his life, she accepted his hand.
It was warm…soft. An avalanche of emotions crashed through him. Love…longing. Heartbreak.
He felt a jolt as they came together, bodies touching in all the right places. But when he began to dance, she stiffened like an ironing board. He felt her hand tremble…or was it his?
The moment was awkward, not at all as he’d envisioned it only seconds earlier. But years had gone by since they’d even spoken. And that had been through a jail window. Of course this would be awkward.
They danced mechanically, and she stared straight over his shoulder, as he did over hers. “I’ve really wanted to have a minute with you,” he said. “To…to tell you—” Someone bumped into them and Cole was grateful. She was here having a good time. So was he. To bring up other stuff was just…inappropriate.
She pulled back, waiting for him to finish.
Her tawny eyes were every bit as pretty as before, her lashes just as dark and long. And she did still have freckles across her nose. “I wanted to say…how surprised I was to see you living in Spirit Creek,” he blurted like an idiot.
She frowned, pulling back a little more. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?”
He cleared his throat. “Um…no, not really.” But suddenly, with her so close, he couldn’t pull up another coherent sentence.
After what seemed like half a century, she prompted, “What was the other thing?”
Cole had never dreamed anything could be as hard as this was proving to be. Talking about someone else was the easy part. Talking about himself was excruciating. He drew in another breath and regrouped. “Yeah.” He started dancing again, but wasn’t even hitting the beat. “Years ago…at the jail, when you told me how you felt, I said a lot of things. When I said, I didn’t think it would’ve worked out for us anyway, that I didn’t want to be married—it wasn’t true. It was me hiding how I felt. I didn’t understand, not until much later, what it must’ve been like for you. Whatever I said had nothing to do with how I felt about you. But you never returned and I never got to apologize.”
He felt her flinch. Then she stopped dancing and pulled away. Her eyes grew steely, and she pursed her lips again. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, not just that,” he said quickly. He wanted to tell her he’d give anything if he could turn back the clock. That he’d give or do anything to bring Celine back…to make Ryan a whole person again. He wanted to tell her he intended to face up to what he’d done, to do whatever he could to help those he’d hurt. Tell her he’d never, ever, meant to hurt her.
“I wanted to say I am sorry I was angry at you. It was stupid of me. I was wrong. I made a horrible mistake that hurt a lot of people. I live with that every day of my life, and I will for the rest of it. I wanted to say I am sorry I didn’t—”
“You’re sorry?” she spat out, her expression incredulous. “Sorry works if you forget to take out the trash, or forget an important date, or when you’re late for dinner. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t even begin to—”
She stopped suddenly and glanced around, apparently still as concerned about what other people thought as she’d always been. One hand up, as if to ward him off like a devil, she took a step back, then another.
A couple of dancers, strangers, halted and gawked, but the rest just kept on dancing. As Serena disappeared into the crowd, Cole felt someone bump into him on his right, then on the left as the ache in his chest grew more painful by the second.
He hadn’t said anything he’d intended to say…what he needed to say.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE NEXT DAY SERENA drove down the long, narrow driveway leading to Isabella St. Germaine’s home, pulled up near the porch and parked. On the way to the door, she wished she’d never signed on as a volunteer to help the church drive for donations to send to soldiers in Iraq, which Isabella
headed up. But at the time, Serena hadn’t given it a thought and had spent a half day each month for the past two months with Isabella and a couple of other women sorting and boxing the donations. Now, suddenly, the get-together seemed awkward.
She’d met Cole’s mother a few times back in high school, but had never talked to her at length. Serena didn’t know if Bella thought badly of her for breaking off with Cole when he was in jail, but if the woman did, she’d kept it to herself, and she and Serena had always exchanged pleasantries in passing. While Serena knew most of the people in town, the people she knew best were those who came to the café frequently. Bella had never once come in.
Serena had thought about bowing out of the church job, but then decided she couldn’t stop living her life just because Cole was back. She had to get used to the idea and she might as well consider continuing this volunteering her first step in forgetting the past and moving on.
But was she? She’d waited to go to Isabella’s…waited until she saw Cole’s Jeep in front of his office and she knew he wouldn’t be at his mother’s.
Serena took a deep breath, knocked and waited. After a moment, she knocked again. Still no answer. Odd. She tried the door and it opened easily. She peered inside and called out, “Bella? It’s Serena Matlock.”
No answer. She called again, then walked in. “Bella, are you here?” She went through the living room and then to the kitchen. Bella was there, settling herself in a chair at the table. Serena quickly crossed the room to hold the chair for her. “Hi, Bella. I knocked and got worried when you didn’t answer.”
Then Serena noticed the older woman’s short, graying hair was disheveled; and her sweater was askew and hanging off one shoulder. She looked a little dazed. “Are you okay?” Serena asked. She stepped back, and as she did so she felt something under her foot. She looked down. Bella’s purse lay on the floor, contents scattered.
Bella waved a hand. “It’s okay. I just stumbled and lost my balance.”