by Kim O'Cain
It was a blow straight to her gut. She felt physically sick. She had completely blown her chance to show him how smart, confident, and amazing she was. Ashlyn couldn’t focus on anything around her. She was in a daze of self-loathing and embarrassment.
She prayed that she would not have to work one-on-one with Blake. She wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye ever again.
“Miss Waters! That’s the third time I’ve called your name.” Ashlyn re-focused, and Chuck continued, “I realize that you did not choose to be here, but you are here now. And so, you will pay attention, be on time, and follow instructions. Your team members depend on you to get the work done. No one will pick up your slack. Grab your pack from the truck.”
Chuck turned his attention to the rest of the group again, “And now that we’re all friends. Let’s start with a hike. You’ll need to familiarize yourself with these trails. As we walk, I will point out things you need to know about the trail, as well as issues that YOU will need to fix. You will each have a lot of opportunities to get your hands dirty.”
“How are we gonna know how to fix these things?” asked Trish.
“Well, I’m going to show you, and you’re gonna learn by doing. Hope you’re a good hands-on learner ‘cause that’s how I work,” said Chuck.
“Who’s hiked these trails before?” asked Chuck, not expecting anyone to have experienced this very small and rarely visited gem of a national park.
“I have. I know them like my own backyard. I grew up in Orick and was a volunteer ranger,” piped up Kate eagerly.
“Well, in that case maybe you should be supervisor,” replied Chuck jokingly.
“No, sir, I’m just happy to help,” responded Kate with a huge smile.
“Great. Then you lead and tell us all we need to know.” And with that Kate took off on the trail at a brisk pace with everyone else falling in line and Ashlyn last.
The others had naturally grouped together based on commonalities. She was alone. No one waited for her. She could hear laughter from the front and felt even more isolated and out of her league. She felt like a complete idiot. What power did this guy have over her? She didn’t even know him, and yet she felt compelled to impress him. And she had failed miserably at that. Now he would never have any respect for her or want to get to know her. They came from completely different worlds. It probably would never have worked out. Hunting? Canoeing? She didn’t know the first thing about either and never intended to learn.
Ashlyn was so absorbed in her thoughts that she had lagged behind the team and when she finally looked up, she was at a fork in the trail. A slight right would take her to the three-mile Goose trail and a slight left would take her on a one and half mile loop trail. She could hear talking up ahead but couldn’t figure out from which direction.
Great. Just what I needed to show them what an even bigger idiot I am. Isn’t this the perfect symbol for my life right now? Two paths leading to different outcomes and possibilities. What the heck should I do? One path means I’m alone in the woods without any help. The other path leads to “my” group, but I’m still alone, thought Ashlyn, as she studied the sign.
“The loop. I’m taking the loop.” Ashlyn said out loud which gave her a sense of confidence and security. She started off at a near run to catch up.
The trail had several switch backs on a steep climb. But the huge trees blocked the direct sun and kept it cool. Even though the ground was littered with fallen leaves and bark that were soft and bendable making the ground somewhat spongy, it was hard to keep up the pace with a heavy backpack and stiff new steel-toed boots. Every once in a while, a branch or leaf would touch her hand or her neck, and she would jerk back afraid, then feeling grossed out that some wild thing had left its mark on her body. She couldn’t shake the feeling and it only intensified her anxiety to catch up with her team. She could still hear talking but it didn’t sound any closer.
Had she taken the wrong trail? Was the other trail still running nearly parallel with this one? Should she go back and take the Goose trail?
“No, I’m taking this loop. It will bring me back to the truck. They will find me eventually,” she said even louder this time.
After what seemed like an hour but was probably just minutes, she rounded a sharp curve and nearly bumped into one of her team members. She let out a cry of fright which startled everyone, including the deer that were standing on high alert on the right side of the trail. They sprung into flight and ran into the woods.
Everyone turned to look at Ashlyn with exasperation. They had stopped quietly to admire the deer and let them pass. But Ashlyn’s loud arrival had ruined the moment.
Once again, she felt completely out of place. She really wished the ground would open up and envelope her, leaving the nature lovers to enjoy the forest and its wild inhabitants. Her resolve to make the best of the year was quickly eroding.
Now she felt purposefully excluded as team members turned brusquely forward in groups of twos and threes leaving her markedly alone. Ashlyn looked down and hot tears seared the back of her eyelids. She wanted to just melt down on the soft welcoming ground and stay there until she got kicked out of GYP for good.
“Waters, front and center. You’re helping Kate lead this hike. Now!” bellowed Chuck from the front of the line.
Ashlyn took a deep breath and said her mantra, “I am happy. I am healthy. I am here to help,” as she walked quickly to the front, weaving around the rest of her teammates who were not inclined to move out of her way, making it known just how little they liked or respected her. As she walked, she repeated her mantra, “I am happy. I am healthy. I am here to help.”
Kate gave her a reassuring smile and Ashlyn responded in kind. At least Kate was willing to be friendly. Now Ashlyn needed to make Kate an actual friend. She had a shot at making this whole thing be at least bearable, if she could have just one person that liked her even a little.
“Kate, thanks for showing me the ropes. I’ve never really been hiking or in the woods. I could use all the help I can get,” said Ashlyn, eager to appease Kate.
“Okay. Great! I’ve got you covered. Just follow me. You’re gonna love it. It’s so amazing. Right, Chuck?”
Chuck didn’t respond. He was intently looking at something off the trail deep in the woods. His forehead was furrowed, and his lips were drawn tight. A vein at his left temple was pulsating.
“Bear cub at three o’clock. Make noise and stay close to each other. We are going to keep slowly walking and stay calm!” yelled Chuck.
And in an instant the group was in tight formation, clapping, talking loudly, and walking briskly. Ashlyn kept trying to get a look at the cub. She had only seen pictures or the occasional commercial for National Geographic on TV, featuring adorable fluffy brown baby bears next to their enormous moms. How cute, she thought. Can’t wait to tell my mom I saw a baby bear. But she never did see it. What she did see was the look of worry on the rest of the teams’ faces. What didn’t she know?
“Look. Where there is a bear cub, there’s a momma bear not far away. She will do anything to protect her baby. That means attacking any perceived threat. And we are that threat. You don’t want a 300-pound black bear ripping you to shreds. So, you make yourself as big as possible and make as much noise to scare her and her cub away,” said Kate.
“What if she doesn’t get scared and run away?” asked Ashlyn with rising panic. She was thinking this couldn’t seriously be happening. First, I get left behind and nearly lost, and now I’m being hunted by a huge monster bear. I can’t wait until this year in nature jail is done, and then I’m never setting foot in a forest again—not ever.
“Bear spray usually works. It’s hanging on the side of your pack. You pull the pin if the bear starts running towards you. Don’t run. You’ll never outrun a bear. If it gets close, spray it directly at the bear. And if that doesn’t work, drop to the ground on your stomach and put your hands behind your neck and wait for it to leave, like thirty minutes,”
said Kate very matter-of-factly, as if she saw bears every day. And who knew, maybe she did.
“Are there a lot of bears here in this park and around our camp?” asked Ashlyn, apprehensively hoping the answer was no.
“Well, there are bears but we have more problems with mountain lions. They are a lot stealthier and can just come out of nowhere.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. What other dangerous animals are out here waiting to eat me?” asked Ashlyn, now with even more panic rising.
“Oh, there’s elk too. Mean as heck after they have their babies. You don’t want to be anywhere near them. They will charge without warning and are so fast that you don’t stand a chance,” replied Kate.
“Don’t forget snakes. Rattlesnakes like this area, too,” piped up Chuck. “These are all things we will be learning about over the next few days. Pay attention, do as you’re told, and you’ll be fine, Waters.”
“Shouldn’t you have told us before we entered the trail of doom? I mean how would I have known any of this? Really, this is not okay to just let innocent victims meander through the forest of death. What were you thinking? What is wrong with you?” said Ashlyn in complete anger and dismay at the cavalier attitude Chuck and Kate both had at leading twenty people into known danger.
“Look, it’s extremely rare for anyone to get attacked by bears, mountain lions, elk and snakes, and usually those are people alone and not paying attention. We’re in a large and loud group so the chances of anything bad happening are extremely slim. You have three expert outdoors people leading this team. Like I said, follow our lead and you’ll be fine,” said Chuck, defensively at Ashlyn’s questioning his approach to supervising a group of new recruits.
Once again, Ashlyn felt like an outsider and remained silent the rest of the hike. Every few minutes the group would stop to look at a tree or grouping of trees and discuss them. Pointing out the trail features along the way—new posts and rope, signage that needed to be repaired, invasive plants growing along the trail.
Ashlyn tried to listen, but it was so boring. She couldn’t have cared less if the baby tree, which stood only seven inches tall just off the path, was too shaded and would likely not grow into an adult but become nutrients for the other trees surrounding it.
Everyone else was taking notes and intently listening with earnest interest. Even Lizzie seemed interested in the discussion.
After the three-hour hike, which felt to Ashlyn like an eternity, they arrived back at the trail head. Ashlyn was grumpy, hungry, and ready to leave this place behind. But that wasn’t the plan. They took over the picnic tables and ate the snacks provided by Chuck—dried apples, mixed nuts, and fresh blackberries picked that morning.
Ashlyn’s mood rebounded somewhat with the snack, and she could regroup her thoughts. She looked around at this group of people and wondered what really made someone want to join GYP—to leave family, friends, and home to volunteer for a year in a strange place with people you’d never meet otherwise and do work that you’d probably never do again.
It seemed so surreal that she was there amongst the biggest trees she’d ever seen, eating fresh blackberries and narrowly escaping death by a momma black bear. What a first day. What could possibly happen next?
At the table in front of hers, sat Kate, Blake, Chuck, and a short Latino guy that she couldn’t remember from the introductions.
Kate and Blake were laughing hysterically at something Chuck said. The short guy was trying not to choke on his snack. They seemed so at ease, as if this were their backyard and they were the closest of friends having an intimate dinner party. She was not even on Blake’s radar as existing in this universe, let alone on his team. Oh well. Better let that dream die in nature jail.
“So, the big city girl gets stuck in the forest of death? How’s it going so far?” asked Amy Allen from Casper, Wyoming, a tiny town of 751.
“Me. I’ve had many, many, many better days. But at least I’ll have a good story for my friends back home. What about you?” replied Ashlyn.
“Oh. It’s okay. It’s certainly beautiful here, but I’ve never been this far from home. Actually, I’ve never been outside of Casper. You’ve probably never heard of it. It’s just a small Podunk town in the Rockies. My family has been there for over a hundred years,” said Amy proudly.
“Is it close to Telluride? We have a house there. I love the winters there. Amazing skiing. I’ll miss that this year. I guess we both have a lot we’ll miss this year,” answered Ashlyn.
Amy was about five feet, six inches tall with wispy blond hair that cascaded down her back nearly to her butt. She was tan and looked older than nineteen. Her hazel eyes peered from under thick black lashes. She had a star tattoo on the bottom of her wrist that just poked out from her sleeve as she ran her fingers through her hair and tucked it behind her ear.
“I’ve never been skiing. Seems so dangerous plowing down a mountain on two sticks trying to dodge trees and boulders. No thanks. I’ll stick to hiking and snowshoeing,” answered Amy, looking intently at Ashlyn.
“Have you ever seen bears where you live?” asked Ashlyn.
“Oh sure, but not many. Luckily, they were far enough away. But it sure scares the heck out of you. Hope I don’t see any more while I’m here. What do you think we’re gonna do at the Gathering tonight? I’ve heard horror stories about new recruit Gatherings. I hope they go easy on us,” said Amy, as she looked around the group.
“What’s the Gathering? I didn’t hear anything about it,” asked Ashlyn with immense curiosity.
“Well, it’s tradition for the existing team members to initiate the new recruits on their first night. Since they bring newbies in every four months, there’s lots of initiations. It’s usually some activity where all the teams compete for rewards,” said Amy.
But before she could finish her thought, Chuck interrupted them by saying it was time to pack it in and go to class.
The next hour and a half was rules and regulations of GYP Blah blah blah was all Ashlyn could hear as her mind played out different scenarios of the Gathering. What would nature jail make new recruits do? She imagined the girls competing against each other in armpit hair braiding, where the winner finished making a perfect French braid, and the ribbon was made from the silk of spider webs collected from the nearby yurts. For the guys, she envisioned a squirrel stew competition where the guys had to trap the squirrels with hand-made nets and pick the herbs and spices from the forest. Or maybe there would be a tree hugging contest where the winner climbed a hundred feet up to the thinner part of the tree and just held on with no harness.
She didn’t see how any of this was the least bit fun or entertaining. She hoped that she wouldn’t have to do anything by herself. She couldn’t take any more humiliation for the first day.
Ashlyn was so completely absorbed in her thoughts of doom and failure that she didn’t hear Chuck dismiss class. When she looked up, everyone else had left the room. She was all alone for the second time that day.
Chapter 8. The Gathering
Ashlyn was at least grateful that she hadn’t been called on in class. Maybe Chuck recognized that she wanted to be anywhere but here and needed a break for the day. She didn’t need to make a bigger fool of herself again. No doubt she would be called upon to do some stupid task that was common knowledge to everyone here except her—like spit shining boots.
She had a few minutes to herself before dinner. Ashlyn decided to call her mom. She needed to hear her voice. Ashlyn was so disappointed when Dana didn’t answer her cell. She left a message then called the house number. Lupe answered brightly, “Waters residence. May I help you?”
Ashlyn nearly burst into tears at the sound of Lupe’s voice. She kept her composure and asked for her mom.
“I’m sorry, honey, you’re momma’s out with Molly. They’ve been gone all day. I’ll let her know you called the second she comes in. Now, how are you doing? Tell me everything,” said Lupe warmly.
Suddenly, Ashlyn h
ad diarrhea of the mouth and could hardly get a coherent sentence out before starting on her next train of thought. It was such a relief to talk to someone who loved her and accepted her just as she was. Ashlyn said goodbye, feeling like a small weight had been lifted and at least a little readier to face the Gathering, which by the way was just a weird name. It sounded so ominous. Seriously, could it be that bad? If so, no one would volunteer for this stuff, she thought to herself. In just a few minutes she would learn first-hand what all the other recruits already knew.
After a quick run to the restroom to splash cold water on her face and apply some of her favorite moisturizer, she left the Birch yurt for the Gathering. All the recruits were piling out of their houses and the mood was boisterous and animated.
Trish walked up to Ashlyn just as she entered the massive open green space called the parade grounds, between two very large brick buildings that housed the commissary and classrooms.
“Hey, Blondie. Ready to get served at the Gathering? asked Trish jokingly.
Trish was the last person—no the second to last person—Ashlyn wanted to deal with right now. She prayed that Campbell wouldn’t appear out of nowhere to taunt her, too. Ashlyn just kept walking, trying to ignore her. But Trish grabbed her arm making her stop.
“Hey. I’m talking to you. Jeez, I’m not going to bite you. You’re so uptight. I don’t want to be here anymore than you do. Alright?” said Trish with a look of resignation.
“I just don’t want to sit by myself with those tree huggers,” Trish continued and looked down.
Ashlyn suddenly felt a connection to Trish and knew that in some ways they probably had more in common than she first thought. Of course, Trish didn’t want to be here, either. It was truly nature jail for her. Ashlyn decided to give her a chance. She would be cautious. She didn’t know anything about Trish other than that she was a criminal and could easily take her down.
“Look. I’ve had a horrible day. I don’t want any trouble, and I don’t want to sit by myself with a bunch of tree huggers, either. Come on. Looks like there are some seats over there,” said Ashlyn.