“I think he is a sad kid.”
“He must be dead-dog tired.”
“Unless you’re planning on him being Liberace as far as piano . . . I think it is a waste of money . . . I think he is cutting himself kind of short. He’s not being involved with anything as far as friends.”
Thus, the belief systems of working-class and poor parents were mixed: some longed for a schedule of organized activities for their children; others did not. Still, there were a few indications that if parents’ economic and social resources were to change, their cultural practices would shift as well. A number of middle-class children in the study had parents who were upwardly mobile. The parents were middle class, but the children’s grandparents were poor or working class. In some cases, these grandparents objected to the child-rearing practices associated with concerted cultivation. They were bewildered by their grandchildren’s hectic schedules of organized activities, outraged that the parents would reason with the children instead of giving them clear directives, and awed by the intensive involvement of mothers in the children’s schooling. The small number of cases limits generalizing, but the evidence does suggest that it is economic and social resources that are key in shaping child-rearing practices; as parents’ own social class position shifts, so do their cultural beliefs and practices in child rearing. Untangling the effects of material and cultural resources on parents and children’s choices is beyond the scope of this study. These two forces are inextricably interwoven in daily life.
WHAT IS TO BE DONE?
In his thoughtful book The Price of Citizenship, historian Michael Katz shows that in recent years Americans’ conception of welfare has grown excessively narrow.34 A preoccupation with public assistance to the poor has led Americans to overlook two other important forms of social distribution: social insurance programs and taxation policies. Yet in size and scope, social insurance programs, particularly Social Security and Medicare, dwarf the cost of payments to poor families. Moreover, these programs have been effective in reducing the percentage of poor among the elderly. It is very likely that the state could take similar steps to reduce inequality among American families. State intervention would probably be the most direct and effective way to reduce the kinds of social inequality described in this book. For example, a child allowance, similar to what Sweden and other Western European nations provide, would likely be very effective in eliminating child poverty and reducing the gap in economic and social resources.35 As David Karen points out, increasing the “safety net” for poor and working-class families would be helpful:
Anything that can be done to provide a safety net for the poor (and working class) will increase the resources of . . . children and therefore make it possible for them to engage in some of the activities that they’re currently excluded from. This exclusion takes place not only because they don’t have the money to participate but also because parental time is so limited. If parental time (say, thanks to fewer hours at work) were more available, there might be more access to participation. Under this rubric, I’d put things like universal health care, state-supported daycare, (and) a guaranteed minimum income.36
In addition, an increase in federal and state recreation monies would be useful since, in interviews I conducted with directors of recreation programs in the regions surrounding Swan and Lower Richmond schools, it was clear that as the township became more affluent, more elaborate recreational programs were available. Vouchers for extracurricular activities and transportation to activities (e.g., music lessons, art lessons, sports programs, and specialized summer camps) are another possibility. A problem is that neighborhoods are often relatively homogenous by social class. Consolidating neighborhoods so that working-class and poor children become part of more affluent neighborhoods would be likely to increase access to desirable facilities. What is far less likely, however, is the existence of the political will to support this redistribution of wealth. Instead, Americans, as is their wont, are likely to remain preoccupied with more individual solutions. Since, however, the problems differ by social class, the solutions do as well. Below, I review some of the possibilities.
Slowing It Down: Policy Implications for Middle-Class Families
The frenetic schedule of some middle-class families is a topic that increasingly bubbles up in media reports. As a result, there is an emerging social movement of professionals and middle-class parents to resist the scheduling of children’s lives. Books, including The Over-Scheduled Child, insist that children’s schedules are out of control:
It is Tuesday at 6:45 A.M. Belinda, age seven, is still asleep. School doesn’t start until 9:00 A.M. and her mother usually lets her sleep until 7:30 A.M. But not on Tuesdays. That’s the day Belinda has a 7:30 A.M. piano lesson. From it she goes directly to school, which lasts until three. Then the babysitter drives Belinda to gymnastics for the 4:00–6:30 P.M. class. While Tuesday is the busiest day, the rest of the week is filled up too, with religious school and choir practice, ballet, and (Belinda’s favorite) horseback riding. “She’s pretty worn out by the end of the day,” her mother laments . . . “I’m not really sure it is a good thing [to be so busy]. But I want to give her the advantages I didn’t have.”37
The authors are outraged by this kind of schedule:
We sense that our family lives are out of whack, but we aren’t sure why. We know we are doing too much for our kids, but we don’t know where it might be okay to cut back— . . . every time we . . . turn [around] . . . someone else is adding something new to the list of things we are supposed to be doing for our children to make sure they turn out right.38
Resistance is spreading. At the collective level, grassroots organizations such as “Family Life First,” based in Wayzata, Minnesota, are pressuring coaches and adult leaders of other organized activities to make family time a priority (by, for example, not scheduling events on Sundays or not penalizing children who miss games while on family vacations). Ridgewood, New Jersey, gained national attention when citizens declared a community-wide (voluntary) “Family Night” and arranged for children’s organized activities (and homework) to be canceled for the evening. These incipient movements have in common an explicit recognition that children’s schedules are absurd, that family life is in thrall to a frenzy of “hyper-scheduling.”39 Decrying the development of children’s appointment books, professionals call for children to have more opportunities for unstructured play.40 At the individual level, parents are encouraged to set strict limits on children’s activities. Some parents proudly announce on websites that they require their children to limit themselves to only one activity at a time.
A systematic critique of parents’ role in supervising and intervening in institutions has not yet emerged. Indeed, many professionals actively recruit and encourage parental involvement in schooling. Doubts about the value of extensive reasoning with children, on the other hand, are mounting. Problems stemming from the blurring of boundaries between parents and children are especially well covered by professionals and the media. With titles such as Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child and I’ll Be the Parent, You Be the Child, professionals are signaling the need for parents to provide directives to children. The books provide cautionary tales of rude, obnoxious, and ungrateful children who refuse to be polite to guests, who feel that they, as children, may decide when they will or will not join the family for dinner, and who are unable to convey appreciation for the gifts they receive. Describing these children as out of control and craving adult intervention, the authors call for parents to “set limits and make decisions.” The solution the experts offer calls mainly for individual action: each parent is encouraged to look within her or himself to find the necessary strength to take charge, to give clear directives to children, and to resist the temptation to seek their children’s approval.
Ironically, the new agenda for middle-class parents, whether expressed collectively or individually, amounts to a reinstatement of many of the ele
ments of the strategy of the accomplishment of natural growth. For overburdened and exhausted parents, the policy recommendations center on setting limits: reducing the number of children’s activities, scheduling family time, making family events a higher priority than children’s events, and generally putting the needs of the group ahead of the needs of the individual.
Gaining Compliance with Dominant Standards:
Implications for Working-Class and Poor Families
For working-class and poor families, the policy recommendations center on trying to gain advantages for children in institutional settings. Some programs stress the importance of reading to children, bolstering vocabulary, and addressing “summer setback” (a reference to working-class and poor children’s tendency to lose academic ground when they are out of school while middle-class children’s academic growth spurts ahead).41 Here, it is important to bear in mind the ever-changing nature of institutional standards (phonics is “in” one year, whole language the next; computers are promoted and then challenged). Providing children with the resources needed to comply with institutional standards may be helpful, but it leaves unexamined the problematic nature of class-based child-rearing methods themselves. It is possible that policies could be developed to help professionals learn how to be more sensitive to differences in cultural practices and how to “code switch”; they, in turn, might be able to teach children to “code switch” as they move between home and encounters with institutions. One promising development is the success of programs that offer to working-class and poor children the kinds of concerted cultivation middle-class children get at home. Examples include intensive interventions in high schools and in “I Had a Dream” philanthropic ventures through which schools and private tutors take on the roles often carried out by middle-class parents (and the tutors they hire). These programs have improved children’s school performance; reduced suspensions, behavior problems, and teen pregnancies; and increased college admittance rates. Many have been shown to double the high school graduation rates of students.42 Other interventions have produced similarly positive results.43 In some, for example, high school teachers provide low-income students with tours of college campuses, remind them about key deadlines, and help them fill out college applications. Programs such as these, as well as more traditional programs, such as “Big Brother/Big Sister,” have improved school experiences.44 In sum, policy recommendations for working-class and poor children do not address hectic schedules or the need for greater parental control, as those for middle-class children do. Rather, they focus on gaining institutional advantages for children by encouraging parents to use reasoning to bolster their children’s vocabulary and to play a more active role in their children’s schooling.
BIOGRAPHY AND SOCIAL STRUCTURE
The birth of a new family member is usually treated as a joyous event. Family members mark the arrival of the newest niece, nephew, daughter, or grandson with celebrations beforehand, such as baby showers, excitement and gifts on the baby’s arrival, with visits to the hospital and detailed conversations about who the baby looks like, and formal blessings such as christenings or “dedications” in churches of various denominations. All of these events celebrate the promise offered by this new life.
Each person’s life also unfolds in a unique way. Within the same family, brothers and sisters have different temperaments and preferences as well as different genetic configurations. Fern Marshall spent hours and hours each week playing basketball while Stacey was absorbed with gymnastics; Garrett Tallinger was quiet while Spencer was such a chatterbox that, as his father said in mock despair, “You can’t shut him up.” Melanie Handlon’s older brother was tall and thin while she was short and stocky. Moreover, even members of the same family do not have the same child-rearing experience. Family configurations change over time and parents’ life circumstances and parenting styles change as well. There are important variations in the choices siblings make and in their life outcomes.
But this unique character of each human life, as well as the distinctive gifts that each individual brings to a family, should not blind us to the way that membership in a broader social group matters in the creation of inequality. Social group membership structures life opportunities. The chances of attaining key and widely sought goals—high scores on standardized tests such as the SAT, graduation from college, professional jobs, and sustained employment—are not equal for all the infants whose births are celebrated by their families. It turns out that the family into which we are born, an event over which we have no control, matters quite a lot. It matters in part because the system of institutions is selective, building on some cultural patterns more than on others. To be sure, there are also significant amounts of upward and downward mobility. There are those in the population who overcome the predicted odds, particularly certain immigrant groups. The social structure of inequality is not all determining. But it exists. This system of social location, largely unacknowledged by most Americans, means that Katie Brindle, Wendy Driver, and Tyrec Taylor have important elements of their lives in common, just as Garrett Tallinger, Alexander Williams, and Stacey Marshall have important aspects of their lives in common. It means that class, in some instances, is more important than race. And it suggests that boys and girls of the same social class, while having important gender-related differences in their lives, also have important commonalities.45
Americans tend to resist the notion that they live in a society of social classes. Most people describe themselves as middle class. When asked about social divisions, many readily discuss the power of race, but the idea of social class is not a systematic part of the vocabulary of most Americans.46 Nor is there a set of widely discussed beliefs, as in earlier decades, of the importance of eliminating poverty or narrowing gaps in social inequality.
Looking at social class differences in the standards of institutions provides a vocabulary for understanding inequality. It highlights the ways in which institutional standards give some people an advantage over others as well as the unequal ways that cultural practices in the home pay off in settings outside the home. Such a focus helps to undercut the middle-class presumption of moral superiority over the poor and the working class. And a vocabulary of social structure and social class is vastly preferable to a moral vocabulary that blames individuals for their life circumstances and saves the harshest criticism for those deemed the “undeserving poor.”47 It is also more accurate than relying only on race categories. The social position of one’s family of origin has profound implications for life experiences and life outcomes. But the inequality our system creates and sustains is invisible and thus unrecognized. We would be better off as a country if we could enlarge our truncated vocabulary about the importance of social class. For only then might we begin to acknowledge more systematically the class divisions among us.
PART IV
Unequal Childhoods and Unequal Adulthoods
FIFTH-GRADE GRADUATION IS A LONG time ago now. As the young boys and girls traveled through middle school into high school and beyond, they not only grew taller—Garrett Tallinger is now well over six feet—but also took on the concurrent signs of adulthood: some of them acquired tattoos on their arms or backs, the young men’s voices deepened, and young women—like Melanie Handlon—emulated fashion magazines with their trendy hairdos and bright nail polish. They varied in their personal styles. Some dressed fashionably and some favored T-shirts and jeans. But, unquestionably, they all became young adults.
My practice of sending an annual holiday card and small gift to the children prompted some messages in return over the intervening years and gave me a sense of how some of the families were faring. Still, these glimpses provided a picture that was incomplete. I wanted to know whether the differences in child rearing described in Unequal Childhoods had or had not continued over time. As young people develop into adults, they are less dependent upon their parents. The patterns observed during the original study might have significantly altered. Thus, approx
imately ten years later, when the youth were nineteen to twenty-one, I revisited the twelve families who were in the intensive study to take up these issues. As I explain in more detail below, I conducted a two-hour interview with each of the twelve young adults, and in most cases, I also did a separate in-depth interview with the mother, father, and, in most cases, one sibling.
These interviews suggest that there were important changes in the lives of the families over time. Some of the families did much better in this period than they had been doing a decade earlier. Among the working-class families, two—those of Wendy Driver and Tyrec Taylor—moved from being renters to home owners. Katie Brindle’s mother started working cleaning houses. All of the young adults, including the poor and working-class youths, were able to avoid major life difficulties. None of the twelve had been arrested as adults (although some had had run-ins with the police as juveniles). All were alive and healthy. Some were married with children.
Yet social class continued to matter in the lives of the young people. It mattered in their high school experiences. It mattered in their transitions out of high school as many sought, often unsuccessfully, to enter college. Differences in how much education each young person acquired in turn influenced his or her options in the world of work. Social class was not important in shaping how much the youths’ parents loved them, worried about them, and sought to help them. But it did make a critical difference in the resources parents could bring to bear on their children’s behalf. It was especially significant in parents’ interactions with educational institutions.
Race was consequential too. The young black men, regardless of social class, reported difficulties in public spaces. Alexander Williams was enrolled in an Ivy League college, but he was still occasionally followed around by clerks in stores. But while race did have situational consequences for some youths, the power of social class was striking for all.
Unequal Childhoods Page 34