by Sam Herrera
“I. Am. Not. Stupid,” Chong growled at the boy.
“Then stop askin’ stupid questions.” Caleb snorted into his drink and I had to bite back a few sniggers of my own.
“You think that’s funny, huh?”
“Yeah. I. Do. Now go away.” Fuming, he did.
*
“Caleb,” I said as we both lay together on our backs, entwined, our bodies limp and our breathing more like gasping as the sweat dried on us. I’m so sorry, I thought, feeling the others’ suffering, we just can’t help ourselves.
“Yeah,” he smiled, turning his head to look into my eyes.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, of course,” he grinned. I had prepared for this moment for so long, rehearsing it a thousand times in my head, wondering what would sound right. Now I had nothing up there except four words. To hell with it.
“Will you…” I swallowed hard, terrified. “Will you marry me?” His eyes bugged and his mouth fell open.
“Are you for real?”
“I am. I love you, Caleb Grey,” I confessed, my voice shaking with emotion, “and as we could die any moment, I want to live every moment I am alive with you.”
“Oh, baby.” We kissed and moved into each other’s arms.
“Yes,” he whispered into my ear. “Yes, I will.” My grip tightened around him and tears, tears of utter joy, began to fall from my eyes. He kissed them away then pulled back to look at me. “I’m scared,” he confessed.
“I’m scared too,” I told him, lifting up one shaking hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it.
“We’ll be fine, I know it.”
“My God,” I breathed, “I hope you’re right.” A round of applause made us look up and both blush a deep scarlet. We kissed, a deep comforting, calming kiss that said it all and caused the clamor to go up and up, whoops and shouts of “get a room” galore. I fell asleep, listening to the steady beat of his heart, the grin on my face feeling permanent. I’m getting married. I’m. Getting. Fucking. Married!
KYLE
“I’ll need your help covering the exit and making sure the Winter’s ready to take off at a moment’s notice and make it clear to any volunteers we get that we need to think of the greater good. If they are still out there while an attack on us is imminent… Well,” I shrugged, “I’m hoping it won’t come to that.” I smiled at my star protégée. She had grown up, no question. Engaged to be married and with the willowy, strong body of a grown woman. She wore black overalls, from the Winter, that covered every inch from neck to toe with no insignia, no marks of any sort, and made her face glow even whiter than normal.
“I’ve already gathered all the volunteers I need. We’re all set,” she told me.
“My mother volunteered at an art shop in Camden Town. The customers always spoke of her as being very attentive and friendly,” Faith murmured, wandering in with her usual bemused, dreamy look.
“Go. Away,” I sighed. She wandered out again. Where did we get that weirdo? “You know, of course, that this will be very dangerous for you, far more than usual. None of us will be coming back if things go wrong.”
“Of course,” she nodded. That was what I had always loved about her: she never hesitated.
“I’ve volunteered to go with her,” Caleb Grey said instantly, coming in. He must have been listening around the corner. Good. I’m gonna need him.
“Very well, does anyone else want in?” I asked.
“My father,” he nodded. Ah, well, maybe I can use him as a shield if things go bad.
MARA
We walked back to our room, after a grueling hour on the firing range, and Caleb was out like a light. I couldn’t sleep. I had to get out, to breathe some free air, even if it was only for a few minutes. After a while, I got up, dressed and gave my fiancé’s sleeping face a long, lingering goodbye kiss that, even in sleep, he returned before I left the cavern.
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” I started as I wheeled around. It was always something of a shock to see him, leaning casually against the wall in all his reptilian glory.
“You smell of sweat,” he remarked, sniffing.
“I’m taking the Winter for a short flight,” I told him, blushing and huffing.
“I’m afraid not.”
“Huh?” I frowned.
“It’s gone. The raid for supplies.” Shit! What could well be my last “day” on Earth and I couldn’t even get fresh air.
*
Scowling, I sat in front of the opening, contenting myself with gazing out at the hole in the wall. I fucking hated this red glow. I had, for a long time, forced myself not to think about it, just get on with living here. But whenever I looked out that hole, there they were: the blood-red moon and the starless sky. Shit. It had been so long since I had seen a blue sky with white, fluffy clouds. So long since any of us had. I gave a small yelp as a powerful hand scooped me up under one arm. I barely had time to register the feel of leathery wings spreading above me like an umbrella before we were taking off.
“Whoooo hooo!” I yelled in stunned but much-welcome exuberance as we flew up and up and up, the night breeze whipping my hair back from my shoulders. Confident of his steely grip on my hips, I spread my arms. I felt Ethan grinning down at me. For a while we soared high above the burgundy-red sands with their black, burned tree stumps dotted here and there, framed by black, charred mountains. I inhaled deeply, savoring every gasp of free air as we flew higher and higher, feeling as though I was touching the heavens.
We sat on the peak of one of the tallest mountains in the San Gabriel range, looking out over the infra-red land. “I’m guessing even if we had a torch it would be too much of a risk to turn it on?”
“I’m afraid so,” Ethan nodded. I blinked and swallowed as I recalled all the bright, sunny days of lazing about beside the glittering surface of Windermere, letting the rays bake me, that I had so often taken for granted.
“Would you do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Will you play me some music?” He gave a sniff and put the mouth organ thing to his lips. The long haunting tunes began to fill the air, keeping in time with me as I softly began to sing:
“I sometimes feel like this darkness will go on forever.
Hope is under attack. The axe is poised to sever.
But I am still determined to find the rays; to seek
New bright summer days.”
“Summer days are what keep me going strong.
The night may last very long.
But while I know the light is on some distant shore,
I will leap every hurdle and do every chore.”
“I trek through deep, black shadow, surrounded by many
Pitiless eyes. I am terrified of fierce glares on my back and
Misleading cries .But I must push on and on
Through all despair. The hope’s all I have but what
When I get there?”
“Summer days are what keep me going strong.
The night may last very long.
But while I know the light is on some distant shore,
I will leap every hurdle and do every chore.”
“All I have is a thin coat of desperate hope to protect me from the
Shadows of evil will. I feel drained as though watching, helplessly, my life spill.
Do I have what it takes to survive? I don’t know. All I can do is
Strive and strive.”
“Summer days are what keep me going strong.
The night may last very long.
But while I know the light is on some distant shore,
I will leap every hurdle and do every chore.”
We stopped for a breath.
“Can you see it, the desert?” I asked. “Can you see it better than I can?”
/> “Yes, I see it. I cannot think why you mourn so much. For me it is exactly the same as it always was.”
“Describe it, please.”
“Very well. The sand is a yellow ochre with splashes of mossy-green here and there. I can see the small scrubs and bushes all over the place. In my vision they look like black dots. Above us the clouds are massing. Some are rather large and fluffy, others are thin and wispy. Below I can see a road that bridges the gap between two valleys. Northerly there is a canyon. Nearer to us the ground slopes up to the foothills of our range in a sweeping arc. I see another, larger road, away southward. It cuts across the desert from east to west. In the east there are a series of what look like ditches or furrows. The largest of which is wide and deep enough to be called a canyon.”
“Thank you, Ethan,” I smiled, visualizing it behind my closed eyelids. I was impressed by his eloquence, the vivid way he was able to paint pictures in the mind. I suspected he was making some of it, the color parts, up. If so I was grateful.
“Another song?”
“Why not?” I smiled, sensing he too was grinning as he put his flute thing to his lips again.
“I’m sitting on the top of the world, seeing what few have ever seen.
To have this while everyone else doesn’t…It feels kinda mean.
But when I look down from being so near the sky,
How can I deny myself? I’m flyin’ high.”
“Oh, baby, baby, I’m flyin’ high, zooming into the setting sun.
Who else has seen this bird’s eye view? Only one.
I’m soarin’ and I’m glidin’ like a bat out of hell.
God help me if I fell.”
“I’m like the great albatross, soaring over the seas.
They’re so small, all those islands, forests and trees.
Can I land on one? I really should soon.
I’m a grease spot on the rocks if I swoon.”
“Oh, baby, baby, I’m flyin’ high, zooming into the setting sun.
Who else has seen this bird’s eye view? Only one.
I’m soarin’ and I’m glidin’ like a bat out of hell.
God help me if I fell.”
“Flying sure is thirsty work. I’m dying for a drink.
But I’d better watch it: too much water and I’ll sink.
I sure hope no planes are soaring here, fellas.
Being chopped by propellers would ruffle my feathers.”
“Oh, baby, baby, I’m flyin’ high, zooming into the setting sun.
Who else has seen this bird’s eye view? Only one.
I’m soarin’ and I’m glidin’ like a bat out of hell.
God help me if I fell.”
“As I reach the end of my journey, I look for a place to land.
I sure would love to stretch my wings on the golden sand.
This is my home, has been for so long.
But I can take to the air now, crying my own song.”
“Oh, baby, baby, I’m flyin’ high, zooming into the setting sun.
Who else has seen this bird’s eye view? Only one.
I’m soarin’ and I’m glidin’ like a bat out of hell.
God help me if I fell.”
“I have always envied you that.” I looked up at him as he lay back on a slab, breathing deeply.
“What?”
“Being able to put your thoughts and feelings into words. I doubt I could.”
“You’re a warrior, not a poet.”
“I can destroy, you can create. Of the two of us who would you say has the advantage? I rather liked ‘The Road.’”‘The Road? Oh, yeah. “Would you sing that again to me?” I smiled and opened my mouth to begin the folksy, bluesy piece I had written a while ago.
“I’m walkin’ on and on, the miles just rollin’ on by.
I’ve got no one for company ‘cept the birds in the sky.
I stop awhile, sittin’ me down to think,
My feet on the rocky shore, the very edge of the brink.”
“Where am I goin? I don’t know.
I’m just glad I lost the heavy load.
And now I’m on the road.
I’ve got no husband and kids to goad.
It’s just me and I’m lovin’ being on the road.”
“I’m happy to be so free. I’ve left it all behind.
Husband and kids; pains in the behind.
Bills to pay and boss bossin’ me?
Nah, I don’t want that kinda company.”
“Where am I goin? I don’t know.
I’m just glad I lost the heavy load.
And now I’m on the road.
I’ve got no husband and kids to goad.
It’s just me and I’m lovin’ being on the road.”
“I’m livin’ everyone’s dream. I’ve chucked it all away;
I’m runnin’ on my own steam.
The weight of the world’s off my shoulders.
I smile, watching it fall like huge boulders.”
“Where am I goin? I don’t know.
I’m just glad I lost the heavy load.
And now I’m on the road.
I’ve got no husband and kids to goad.
It’s just me and I’m lovin’ being on the road.”
“Hey, Momma, look at me, your eld-est.
Sayin’ goodbye and headin’ west.
Maybe one day I’ll come back and rest.
‘Till then, wishin’ ya all the best.”
“Where am I goin? I don’t know.
I’m just glad I lost the heavy load.
And now I’m on the road.
I’ve got no husband and kids to goad.
It’s just me and I’m lovin’ being on the road.”
“I send greetings to all the folks.
I think of ya as I sleep in the long grass.
See ya ‘round, big bro, and “Daddy…”kiss my ass.”
“Where am I goin? I don’t know.
I’m just glad I lost the heavy load.
And now I’m on the road.
I’ve got no husband and kids to goad.
It’s just me and I’m lovin’ being on the road.”
I smiled. I loved especially the “Daddy, kiss my ass” line. I couldn’t wait to read it to my father aloud. I looked up at the dark-red sky. Caleb wouldn’t think it was so hot, but, hey, it wasn’t for him.
“Bravo,” Ethan grinned, giving a couple of claps. I carefully stood and took a small curtsy. “Congratulations too.”
“Thank you.” I leaned back on my rock, grinning like a kid at Christmas and already hearing the bam, bam, bad-am, bam, bam, bam, bam of church bells. Of course, I wouldn’t be getting hitched in any church, the main cavern at best, but Richard would wed us, Kyle would be there and I would be marrying the one I loved most in the world. That was enough for me. Or was it? I heaved a sigh, feeling a deep pain and weariness. I wanted a church wedding. I wanted it to be out in the open air, under a sunny sky. So I could throw the bouquet over my shoulder on the steps of a huge, steepled church after walking down its aisle with Kyle on my arm and a whole host of Caleb’s and my friends and relatives cheering me on. But, no. We were fugitives and we had to hide, unfair or not.
“Let’s go,” I sighed. We headed back for home where I vented my anger on the firing range and fell asleep in Caleb’s arms afterwards.
KYLE
The raiding party consisted of myself, David, Snow, Chong, Ethan and Sam, sitting at the door of the cockpit. Sam and David appeared to be getting along like a house on fire. While Ethan, in the cockpit, handled the joystick as though he’d been doing it all his life. Much like Chloe did. I missed her. She had been missing for months now. The only traces of her left were her shoes, lying in the cavern wher
e she’d last been seen. It seemed like only a few minutes until we had arrived at another small, run-down petrol stop.
“What can we get here?” David asked. “Not enough food for the whole community.”
“We need to hit quite a few places for that, I know. But they all need to be small and out-of-the-way so we can be gone by the time the cops arrive.”
We all stood up as the ramp was lowered and hopped down, crouching beside the back of the building. Chong, David, Sam, Snow and I donned our black ski masks, drew rifles and handguns and blew the lock off the fire door.
“Everyone down!” I yelled, firing my rifle, taking out the cameras. Snow slammed the butt of his into the nose of the sales clerk and he dropped like a stone. So did everyone else after seeing the guns trained on them. I swooped on them as soon as they were down, going from hostage to hostage, tying their hands behind their backs with lengths of wire.
“Dave,” Sam called, “get the food.” He and the others went all over the place, loading bread, spreads, choc bars, toiletries and bottled water from the fridges into shopping baskets.
“Got it all? Let’s go.” We raced out and climbed back onboard. David whipped his mask off, breathing hard with his face flushed.
“Helluva rush, huh?” I laughed. We hit at least seven fuel stops. And, every time, the five of them handled the crowd like professional prison guards, taking them down with guns and rope, grabbing essentials and never wasting a second, hitting hard and fast then vanishing. On the flight back there was hardly any room for us with all the food, soap and goods. Chong grinned as he munched on a cookie. David and Sam laughed about their daredevil stunts as they shared a packet of M&Ms between them. I didn’t chat or laugh; I just sat there, smiling, thinking about how smoothly it had gone. And wondering if it would be so smooth next time.
MARA
I sank into the warm water with a sigh of relief. Kristen was just as harsh a teacher as Kyle. She’d worked us like mules ploughing the whole nine yards. Cuffy was lapping up our bath, but we were too desperate and sore to care. As the girls, Abby and Kristen, and I were all relaxing and soaking bruises in the pool, I rolled my neck around my shoulders and suddenly felt Kristen’s eyes on me.