by Vivian Lux
My heart melted. "Good morning sweetheart," I told him, brushing my hand on his cheek. "You scared Mama last night."
He nodded, "Mama," he repeated. Then his face grew serious. "Juice."
Jameson chuckled. "The little man has his priorities in order." He shifted and then stood up. "Where is the juice?"
"Oh you don't have to get it," I told him. "I've got it."[G46][G47]
"I'm right here," he said, backing towards the kitchen. "Just tell me where it is."
I pressed my lips together. When I'd decided I was going to have myself a nice one-night stand last night, this was not how I'd pictured it ending. "On the door of the refrigerator. One of the little boxes."
As I watched him walk into the kitchen, and heard him greet my mother, that strange emotion that I was feeling last night welled up in my throat again. Except, this time I could give it a name. It was strange wistfulness, a nostalgia for something that I've never actually had.[G48]
Like suddenly I had a partner,
But he was leaving today, and I would never see him again.
For a second my head was too heavy to hold up anymore. It fell back and I stared at the ceiling, blinking back this strange stinging in my eyes. Exhaustion, that's all it was. I was fine with Jameson leaving. I had my mom, had my son.
I didn't need anyone else.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jameson
Malcolm took his juice very seriously indeed. When I returned to the living room and held out my offering, he snatched it from my hands with a withering look that made me laugh out loud. I'd seen that look before. Mostly when catching glimpses of my reflection in the mirror that hung above the big glass table in my conference room.
"Sorry," Charlie sighed. "Trying to explain manners to a twenty-month-old is pretty much like talking to a wall. A very loud, stubborn wall." She punctuated that sentence with a squeeze that made Malcolm squawk.
"He's got manners much like mine," I observed.
"You're right, I don't think I've heard you say please once," Charlie deadpanned.
I laughed. "I don't usually need to. I usually can get what I want without it."
Charlie snorted and shifted Malcolm to her other hip before standing up. She cleared her throat and her voice suddenly turned frosty. "Well bad manners aside, thanks," she said, looking at some point just over my left shoulder.
I should have probably just said you're welcome. After all, I was leaving...very soon in fact. My flight was due to leave from the small airport in nearby Crown Creek at ten-fifteen.
But I couldn't just leave it like that. With her...fucking thanking me? "For what?" I prodded.
Her smile tightened and I saw her eyes flicker to the kitchen where her mother was still puttering around, loudly letting her presence be felt. "I had fun last night."
"Me too," I said, far too quickly.[G49]
She noticed and her glance flitted up to me and for one second I caught her gaze before she turned her head and looked at Malcolm. "Yeah and thanks for paying Maisie. I uh, I can pay you back if you give me your address, I'll just need some time to..."
"Charlie." Even I was startled by the way I growled her name, but it was the only way to get her to stop talking this nonsense. "I told you I would pay her. It was worth it."
Her eyebrows zoomed upward. "I'm not a fuc-fudging prostitute."
"Goddamnit." I looked over my shoulder to the kitchen and then put my hand on her arm. "Could you come outside with me please?"
She shook her head, stepping back. "No," she said. "I don't think I should." Her voice caught and she reddened and looked away from me again. Nervously she plucked at Malcolm's diaper. "I need to get him changed. And you need to get going, don't you? You're leaving today."[G50]
"At ten-fifteen," I said. "I've got time to..."
"Then you should go," she interrupted, finally meeting my eyes. She lifted her chin fiercely. "You should go now, just in case you run into any trouble on the way."
"Like pretty girls running stop signs?" I asked. I sounded bitter. Why the fuck did I sound bitter?
"Yeah," she chuckled icily. "You need to watch out for those. Bad luck."
"Charlie..."
I stepped forward again and she threw up her hands. "Would you please go now?" she hissed, smacking my hand away. "I've got shit to do. I don't have time for long goodbyes with some guy I'm never going to see again."[G51][G52]
I opened my mouth to protest and then snapped it shut because what the fuck was I going to say? That I was going to see her again? That would be a bold-faced lie. I was in town for twenty-four hours and that was it. I was done. The rest of the deal needed to be hammered out by our lawyers. My work brought me here and now my work was done.
"I'm going," I said, keeping my voice level. "Good luck, Charlie."
"Don't need it," she said faintly, bouncing her son. "I have my good luck charm right here."
Something tightened in my throat, making it impossible to speak anymore, so I turned and walked out of her front door, shutting it gently behind me and all the while I wondered what the fuck was wrong with me. This wasn't my first one-night stand, not by a long shot.
This was just the first one I was ready to make longer.
I couldn't help but look over my shoulder as I was walking down her porch stairs. Some part of me insisted she would be watching me longingly through the window, already regretting her cold goodbye.[G53]
But even though I knew very little about her, I knew her well enough to know that wasn't Charlie's style. She had too much dignity for regret. If she said she was done with me, she was fucking done.
Sudden anger boiled up and I yanked my door open with much more force than it needed. I kicked it viciously as I slid into the car, then slammed the heel of my palm into the steering wheel before letting my head fall back onto the headrest. Then, even more pissed off at myself for throwing a tantrum like a fucking child who didn't get what he wanted, I jammed my finger into the start button and backed out of the driveway way too fast.
Instantly my phone started ringing.
"Sir?" Miles's voice blared out of my speakers. "Have you checked your email?"
"Jesus Christ, Miles," I complained as I pulled away from Charlie's house, deliberately not looking back. "The sun has barely risen, why are you at work?"
"Because the Granger paperwork came through last night?" he said with a tone of utter disbelief.
"It did?"
"Sir? Are you fucking with me right now?"
"Maybe a little," I lied, and he let out a relieved laugh. "But I didn't get a chance to read through it all the way," I hedged. I felt no guilt bullshitting my assistant. It's what I paid him to deal with.
"Well, you probably had a late night."[G54]
"I did." That wasn't a lie, although not for the reasons he was expecting.
"I read it through once before sending it to legal," Miles explained. "How did you do it?"
"Just lucky I guess," I said, without the faintest clue as to what he was talking about.
"As far as I knew you weren't even looking for a stake in the casino, much less one so large."
I clapped my hand over my mouth. "He went for it?"
"Making you a majority shareholder, sir?"
"Um, yes."
"Yes he did, sir."
"Stop saying sir, for Christ's sake."
"Yes, sir." In his elation, he ignored me completely. "They went for everything you were asking for and more."[G55]
"And I almost left the table prematurely," I chuckled, looking in the rear view mirror. For a second I thought I saw Charlie. Who else could that figure with the gleaming crown of golden curls be?
"Lucky thing you stayed in Reckless Falls this long."
I grimaced and turned the corner, and she slipped out of sight. "Yeah. Lucky thing."
CHAPTER TWENTY
Charlie
"[G56][G57]Are you sure, Mom?" I asked again.
My mother was up. Dressed. Showered even.
In every way possible, her appearance was one of someone completely healthy and competent.[G58][G59]
But I knew her and I knew that strange dullness around her eyes. "You're feeling up to watching Malcolm today?" I asked again.
"I missed my baby boy," my mother cooed, bouncing Malcolm on her hip. My little guy was watching her mouth intently with those little scholarly pursed lips he got when something caught his interest.
I jiggled my foot nervously against the floor. Leaving Malcolm with my mother when she was still fragile was a giant risk, but it was one I almost had to take. I couldn't afford to leave him with Maisie all day again. I couldn't really afford to leave him with her yesterday either. Thank God Jameson had paid her the way he did. He kind of saved my ass.
That thought made me grimace. I'd been a giant bitch to him when he was leaving and I had no idea why. I knew he was only in town for the night from the get-go, why was I giving him grief about it?
But I couldn't seem to stop myself from hurting him even as I was trying to stuff the words back into my mouth.
I snapped back to the present when I realized my mother had said something. "What was that? I'm sorry, Mom."
My mother shifted Malcolm over to her other hip. "I said I've already called Dr. Kaza," she said tiredly.
I nodded encouragingly. "That's good, I'm proud of you."
She looked down at the floor. "Well, you shouldn't be. It's my responsibility to monitor my moods."[G60]
"But the meds are hard to adjust to, and you know that."
She shook her head and looked up at me plaintively. "I hate this, Charlotte," she sighed, blinking and looking up at the ceiling. "I just want to be normal."
"Hey," I said, going to her immediately. "You are normal. Everyone's got their something, right?"
"I don't know about that."
"Well, it's true. And some people don't try to do anything to make their something better. But you do."
"I hate taking those pills. They make me feel so numb."
I swallowed hard. Ever since she'd started the medication for her bipolar disorder, she'd said the same thing. I put my hand on her shoulder and tried to smile. "If you were diabetic, you'd take pills to help your pancreas work better. You're taking pills to make your brain work better. Same thing, Mom."
Her lashes fluttered and she looked away from me. "You're a good kid," she whispered.
"You're a good Mom." I tickled Malcolm under the chin. "And a good MomMom." I turned and grabbed my purse. "I have to run to the post office to pay for some money orders. I have my cell, if you need anything, call me. I'll be home normal time tonight."
"Stop worrying, honey. I'm fine."
I bit my lip. I hated not trusting her like this. "Okay," I said with a smile. "If you say so."
"I do. Listen to your mother."
"Since when?" I laughed and bent down to kiss her cheek. "You be good for MomMom," I told Malcolm.
"Good MomMom," he repeated, making us both laugh.
No screaming, not tantrums, no wrestling his unwilling little body into the car seat. What a difference it was walking out of my house this morning and knowing that Malcolm was home, with the person he loved best in the world...second to me of course. I should have felt lighter, but that strange heaviness that had settled around my shoulders when Jameson walked out the door still weighed on me.
"Charlie! Holy crap girl, where've you been?"
I laughed and turned around to see Bee, my neighbor two doors down. "I could say the same to you!' I called. "Have you turned into a vampire yet?"
Bee mimed hissing at the sun. "Baker's hours," she sighed with a yawn. "I forget what daylight looks like."
"What are you doing out today?" I grinned slyly at her. "Are you playing hooky with your men?"
Bee winced and laughed. "Ssshh," she hissed, looking around wildly.
"Nobody on this block cares that you're in a threesome," I reminded her. "They've got bigger things to worry about."
She bit her lip. "Well then...yeah. We're playing hooky."
I grinned. Bee was the one who got me the job at Indigo in the first place. I wasn't about to judge her relationship with my bosses, not when she'd been such a good friend to me. "Well do me a favor and make sure Finn and Jackson are in good moods when they come in today," I said with a yawn. "I had a late night last night."
"Oh?" She wiggled her eyebrows.
I felt my cheeks redden. "It's not what you think. I mean, yeah it is a little, but then Malcolm got sick and we had to come home."
"Are you going to see this mystery guy again?" Bee asked excitedly. She knew about my dry spell. "Come by the bakery. I'll give you both free chocolates. It's an aphrodisiac you know."
I laughed. "No, he was only in town for the night," I sighed.
"Oooh, a quickie, very nice."
"Yeah." Too quick.
"Hey, you should stop by the bakery anyway. When you get off work you know," Bee added. "You know I'm over there working when you guys close, right? I see you almost every night."
I pressed my lips together. "I know. It's hard though. I usually have to hurry home."
She shook her head. "I'm not talking about anything longer than stopping in and saying hello, Charlie," she chided gently. "You have time for that, don't you?"
"Of course," I said brightly. "Sorry."
She grinned and waved goodbye before rushing back up the stairs to her house. I thought I caught a glimpse of Jackson, the chef at Indigo, catching her up in his arms before the door shut behind her.
I stood there feeling strangely adrift. Bee was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend, but I kept blowing her off like that. What did it matter that I took five minutes to stop in and say hi while she was working? Why did I always feel like I had to hurry back home? Why did I purposefully spend so much time alone?
I didn't spend last night alone, I reminded myself. I went out with a hot stranger and had the best sex of my life.
Yeah and look what happened to Malcolm when you did?
Inwardly I winced. He's fine, I argued with myself. It was just one of those weird kid-things. It could have happened any night.
No, that voice in my head insisted. It happened because you weren't there to take care of it. You were out fucking around like you used to. Being careless and slutty. Malcolm getting sick was your fault. Your punishment.
Angrily I bit down on my lip so hard I tasted blood. I yanked open my car door and jammed the key into the ignition. "Don't you fucking pull this shit," I growled at my car when the engine shuddered and ground to a halt. I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and twisted the key again, forcing an alarming screech from the starter before it finally caught, probably out of sheer terror.
Muttering to myself, I drove over to the post office and stood in line with the rest of the poor people who couldn't afford checking accounts. As I stood there, the image of Jameson handing Maisie five hundred dollars just as casually as can be played over and over in my brain. "Fucking asshole," I seethed, though I wasn't exactly sure what I was mad at. He'd only given me one of the most fun and carefree nights of my life and he hadn't asked for anything in return. It wasn't like he wanted anything from me. He didn't even want to be part of my life.
Maybe that's why I'm mad.
I'm mad because he's gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jameson
This rented conference room was the closest thing I had to a home. I kept re-signing the lease for this place over and over again, even as I switched apartments, and spent months away from New York. I considered the glass topped table and the big mirror on the wall to be my home base.
And Miles? Well, he was the closest thing I had to a partner and that was fucking sad as hell. "Thanks," I muttered as he handed me my coffee.
"Parker Henley called to let me know you'd be hurting this morning," Miles said, his eyes blinking owlishly at me through his wire-framed glasses.[G61][G62][G63][G64][G65]
"Well wasn't that
nosy of him," I snapped irritably. I'd been snapping since I walked into this place.
"He also seemed to think you'd be in a better mood than you are right now," Miles added, his voice dripping with innuendo.
I set down my mug and glared at my hapless assistant. My foul mood demanded blood sacrifice and he was the only one within earshot. "Tell you what," I snarled. "Next time Parker Henley has the gall to mention [G66][G67]my sex life out loud to you, you tell him the deal is off. I pull every single cent of my investment money from their holdings, you understand me?"[G68][G69]
"Yes, sir." Miles sat up straighter and reflexively straightened the papers on the table. I sipped my coffee and stared moodily out the thirtieth story window. From this height, we had a peek of the East River that we paid dearly for the privilege of having. I liked this office for the status it conveyed on Tellar Investments, but I was getting awfully sick of it. It was probably time to find a new one again.[G70][G71]
"So?" Miles asked brightly. "How did it go?"
I looked up from where I'd been obsessively clicking the top of my pen. "You already know the answer to that," I snapped.
My assistant leaned forward, looking for all the world like the therapist my parents sent me to after their divorce. "No I already know how the business stuff went," he clarified. "I was wondering how it went for you," he cocked his head to the side, raising his eyebrows significantly.
"Are you seriously asking about my sex life now too? Jesus fuck."
"No!" Miles looked scandalized at the very thought. "I'm talking about being in Reckless Falls."[G72]
"How on earth do you think it would've gone for me?" I said, far too quickly.
Miles raised his eyebrows. "I mean, being back in the place you consider the closest thing you have to your hometown..."
"Oh," I barked out loud. What the hell happened to my studied cool? This girl really had me shaken up. "It was fine," I said, "Some parts have changed, some parts are exactly the same. I didn't actually see that much of the town." I cleared my throat and veered away from the parts of the town I had seen and started to run my mouth in a stream of mindless blather where there was no connection between my thoughts and my mouth, allowing me to zone out and think about Charlie some more. She'd been so pissed about me leaving this morning, to the point where I'd actually started to feel like I was the asshole. Like I'd done something wrong by leaving like I had. But I'd never promised that what she and I had was anything different than what it was. A one-night stand. A night of play. A fun little game with no consequences for either of us. It ended the moment the sun rose and we both went on with our lives with a pleasant memory to look back on. That's what I promised, and that's what I gave her. It was over now.