“Drinking by your lonesome tonight?” a voice came from beside her.
Danny blinked in surprise, realizing the guy next to her had changed over the past hour. She’d been so lost in her own bullshit she tuned the rest of the world out, only dipping back in to order another drink.
“That’s an every night occasion for me,” she responded, offering a wide grin that didn’t pierce beneath in the slightest.
A blond, trim guy sat in the barstool beside her, his tan suit making his bright blue eyes pop. Overall, he didn’t paint too bad of a picture, and he wasn’t hulking in on her space. The guy didn’t make her feel jack shit, but maybe that was the point.
Danny turned toward him, fingers perched on the rim of her latest drink. “Not the alcohol bit—more the permanently single bit.”
He shrugged before tipping back his pint of beer. “I’m not one to judge. I’ve been accused of eternal bachelorhood myself.” Interest flashed in his gaze like he snapped a picture. These were the guys she should’ve been going for all along—disinterested in anything beyond a single night. Ones who didn’t remind her of the bliss of being cared for. Ones who didn’t give her a second thought beyond a quick fuck.
Danny ran her fingers through her hair, trying to keep the room from spinning. Not like it helped—she spun round and round on a carousel. Holy hell, she had way too much tonight.
“Name’s Kyle,” he said, offering his hand to shake.
Danny’s blood ran cold for a moment, the mere name making her calves tense. “Did you say Kyle?” she asked. Her hand inched toward her purse, and she prepared to yank out her pepper spray on instinct. The alcohol might’ve dulled the rest of the room and caused the insistent paranoia to fade for once, but the fear slammed into her like a bus, ingrained so deep she could never divorce herself from it.
The guy’s brows furrowed, and he shook his head. “No, Liam. Are you okay?”
God, her head was a jumble right now. She grinned, the fake sort she’d mastered. “Yeah, it’s been a day, and I could use a distraction. The name’s Danny.” She didn’t know if her words came out seductive or slurred, but she needed to find some way to forget. Some way to purge this pain and fear threatening to bury her alive.
Liam cocked a brow, and instead of responding, he tipped back his drink. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he kicked back his lager until foam remained. The clink of his drink hitting the bar counter reverberated through her with a finality that made her feel a little ill. He met her eyes, his searching look filled with scorching intent.
None of the mind-searing lust she felt around Adrian descended, but this wasn’t about that. This reminded her of who she was: a one-night stand. She deluded herself in thinking she could try anything casual with Adrian, and now she paid the price.
Even through the numbness, guilt sank tipped claws into her as she stared at Liam.
“Want to step out for a moment?” he asked, and she knew what he insinuated. This would be a dark alley tangle, a quick fuck to sate them both in the instant but would never linger. They’d both operate on the surface, never allowing another soul to get close enough to hurt.
Time to forget.
Danny slipped a bill onto the counter to cover her drinks. “Lead the way.”
Chapter Fourteen
When Adrian had discovered Betty cheated on him and when she left him, the world he’d known disintegrated. Change like that didn’t just require an adjustment; it caused a full out heart restart, defibrillators to the chest. He’d told everyone he got over her by throwing himself into work, but truth be told he’d been shambling through the days like the walking dead.
Running into Danny Reynolds brought him to life again. For the first time in too long, he hadn’t just ghosted through the days, and he looked forward to every text, every smile, and every new interaction brimming with the promise of something powerful.
Until she’d walked out his door.
Days later and she hadn’t responded to a single text, as if she’d been some brief apparition of happiness, and now she’d blinked out of existence. Adrian sat in his backyard, feet nestled in the grass as he leaned back in his neon orange lawn chair. The fading beams of a gorgeous day soaked into his skin, but none of the warmth seeped past the surface. Out under the sun, kicking back after a long day at work with a six-pack, he should’ve been basking in bliss.
He’d been walking through the darkness ever since she left and took all the sunlight with her. Betty might’ve reshaped his entire future, but this one, this was an arms-aching swim with no land in sight, grasping for land, only to get swept into the sea again. Adrian swiped for his half-empty bottle of lager, tipping it back for another futile swig. The IPAs she brought remained untouched in his fridge, as if by keeping them it meant things between them weren’t ruined.
Their conversation replayed dozens of times in his head, and each time he’d invent some new scenario where he could’ve changed the outcome. But he pushed, and she bolted, as simple as that. The threads binding them together had been so fragile, and given the tension, they snapped. All the logic in the world didn’t change the empty ache in his chest.
Adrian’s phone buzzed, and he cast a quick glance to see if Danny responded.
Nope, Cal. One by one, almost everyone in the family had called him the past couple of days, and for the first time in a while, he brushed them off with the “busy at work” excuse. Look at that, he’d finally managed to establish some boundaries—not like it made him feel any better right now.
A second later, his phone buzzed again with a text from Lex. Adrian rolled his eyes and dropped his phone into the grass by his side. He’d respond in a little while. Mom didn’t have any issues after the tumble she took the other week, so his siblings’ emergencies could take a backseat.
He’d soon resume his normal of fixing everyone’s problems but his own. Danny’s words still haunted him, how he needed to stop trying to save everyone and carve out some time for himself. Even with her, he’d let her take and take but didn’t demand half of what he needed. Adrian lifted the bottle of lager, taking another long swig. Christ Almighty, he was pathetic.
The fence door creaked, the sound almost sending him tumbling off the lawn chair.
“Bullshit you’re at work.” Lex’s voice echoed from across his yard, and Adrian let out a groan. He pivoted around on the lawn chair, gripping the beer bottle like a tether to his sanity. “It’s not like you to skulk around and hide from your problems, big bro,” she continued, loud as ever. “That’s my M.O., and I can’t have you stepping on my toes.”
Lex marched across his lawn, her thick leather stompers demolishing his beautiful grass. Even on the warm spring day, she dressed all in black, long cigarette pants and a tank-top covered in paint stains. She wore her normal scowl, approaching like an impending storm.
Someone else stepped in through the gate door behind her, and Adrian almost dropped his beer. He hadn’t expected to see Cal and Lex in the same room for at least another year or two after the way his sister sank her poisoned claws into him. Cal tipped his fingers in greeting, his chin length hair pulled into an attempt at a ponytail. His brother had Dad’s serious brown eyes, but he possessed Mom’s stubborn mouth and the family nose, long and straight.
“I told her you wanted to be left alone,” Cal said, his voice carrying across the yard. He had a wry, friendly tone, like he shared a joke with you. “Then Lex raised the valid point you’d been giving everyone in the family the run around the past couple of days and if we didn’t check in on you then we were shit siblings.”
Adrian sat up on his lawn chair and nudged the six pack forward. He’d finished one beer and made it mid-way through the second, so there was enough to last Lex at least the next ten minutes. Cal stuck to wine on the infrequent times he drank.
“You know where the other chairs are,” he called out to them. “Grab your own seats.” He leaned back in the lawn chair again and stared at the fading sky. Amber and gold streak
s raced across the horizon, mingling with a crimson as deep as blood. Of course, his siblings would crowd him when he wanted to sit and sulk in his misery.
With a creak, one of his lawn chairs snapped open by his side, and Lex hopped into it. Cal snuck into the other one and dropped a stack of envelopes onto his lap.
“In case we didn’t already know you were in a slump, I’m guessing that’s like…a week’s worth of mail?” Cal said, settling into his seat.
“I’m fine,” Adrian said on reflex while flipping through the stack of envelopes to avoid the look Cal gave, one that would pierce right through him. Cal read people better than anyone he knew.
Lex cracked open a beer as she snorted. “Fine, my ass. You look like hell, Doc.”
“I can always count on you for the confidence boosters,” Adrian responded, pausing on an official-looking letter. He recognized the address at once, and his shoulders sank. Damn, and double damn. He sliced the envelope open and skimmed the contents, a groan slipping out before he could help himself.
“What’s it say?” Lex asked, snatching the letter from his hands. Adrian seethed, but he didn’t know if the letter or Lex struck his temper’s match. Probably both. “Oh, screw her,” Lex spat. “Betty’s still trying to dispute the house? She’s a cheating petri dish of stupidity who doesn’t deserve any more of your time. I thought you paid her out of it anyway.”
Adrian stretched his legs, as if movement would stave off the rage building in his chest. It mingled with misery into one confusing blend. “Guaranteed she decided to get petty after Danny and I ran into her. Her tantrum won’t last long. I’ll furnish the saved emails and receipts from our agreement, and the case will get dropped quick.”
“Speaking of dropping things,” Cal interrupted. “What’s going on with you? We’re not going to let you pull your usual avoidance and deflection move.”
Adrian made the mistake of looking up. If he repaired the broken threads in his family net, Cal formed the knot keeping the strands together. His brother’s lips pressed tight, and the worry in those dark eyes ate away at Adrian’s resistance. That’s why Lex banded together with Cal, even if they were in a fight. Because he was the secret weapon to crack open anyone in the family—precisely why Lex avoided him at all costs.
“I fucked up things with Danny,” he said, staring at his amber beer bottle. His cheeks heated. He hated feeling exposed like this, like he was a damn child. “She told me she couldn’t do the commitment thing because she might have to leave at a moment’s notice. If we dated, there were some things she couldn’t talk about. Period.”
“Bro, that’s real fucking weird,” Lex jumped in before taking another swig of lager. “Is she CIA or some shit? An undercover cop?”
“I thought I’d be fine.” Adrian ran a hand through his hair, his nerves buzzing like he’d downed a cup of espresso. Lex snorted, and Cal reached over him to swat at their sister’s arm. Adrian shot her a look in return. “Yeah, I know. I’m a commitment junkie. After a while, the relationship started getting more and more serious, but any time her family got brought up, she’d snap up tight. Danny was real with me sometimes, but combine a looming expiration date with the massive minefields we couldn’t discuss, and I snapped.”
Cal’s brows furrowed. “Makes me wonder what messed-up shit she dealt with in the past. You’re the King of Control, Adrian, and in this situation, you were robbed of it. This implosion was inevitable.”
And this was why he hated talking to Cal about emotional shit. Because every single time, his brother followed the circuit to the source and brought it up, no matter how hard Adrian tried to pop all his problems in a lockbox.
“Yeah, but this is Sam Peterson we’re talking about,” Lex drawled, making his fingers curl into a fist on reflex. How his sister hadn’t gotten shanked in prison was beyond him. “That torch never extinguished.” Lex shot him the pointed “you should’ve told me” look, though the quick way she’d pieced the puzzle together didn’t surprise him.
Cal’s brows furrowed. “Peterson? You mean the family that up and disappeared way back when?”
Adrian tilted his beer back and finished the dregs. He nestled the bottle in the grass beside him and grabbed another one. This wasn’t a one-drink conversation. In the distance, the sunset began to gray around the edges, hinting night’s takeover. Soon, they’d be sitting here in the dark, and that just encapsulated the situation perfectly.
“Yeah, Sam was in my grade back in high school. I know she had some family troubles at the time, but I didn’t pry. Then one day, Sam stopped coming to school. Her house emptied out, and no one had any definitive answers.”
“Even the cops kept their traps shut,” Lex jumped in. “Obviously means they did some sort of cover up, because the shit the Petersons were involved in must’ve been next level. Not some family disagreement bullshit or a job relocation.”
“I don’t know which of the rumors was more unbelievable,” Cal said. “Whether she was a mobster princess or her mom had a psychotic break and got locked away. My personal favorite was they’d been apparitions all along, but the local paranormal junkies fueled that one.”
“Those guys were just three joints deep.” Lex waved a hand to dismiss. “I’d know—I hung with those fuckers half the time, tromping through the graveyards.”
“Well, what could you gauge from her?” Cal asked, returning focus to him, because of course he would. His brother had arrived with a mission, and once he locked a target he could be relentless when prying emotions out of his siblings.
“Any time her past got brought up, she was ready to bolt,” Adrian said, trying to shut out his last sight of her. The hopelessness in her eyes haunted him, and out of their entire exchange, that remained. Logic dictated she might never be available for anything lasting. However, when it came to Danny Reynolds, emotions sat at his control panel and button mashed. “At first, I tried living in the moment. I never thought I’d see her again, and the time we spent together was the best I’d felt in years.”
“The first break in the storm since Betty left,” Cal murmured. That distant look in his eyes was the sort his fans lost their mind over. Hard to think of his little brother as an up-and-coming musician when he remembered attending one too many open mic nights back in high school.
“Look, I don’t need to be put under a microscope. She ghosted me, so that’s it. We had an agreement, and I stepped over the line.”
“You’re going to give up, just like that?” The sharpness in Lex’s voice surprised him. She gripped her bottle tight as she leaned forward, her dark eyes flashing.
“You’re the one who keeps giving me shit for how head over heels I was for her. Look how fast I fell—I’m deluding myself again,” he said, unable to help the bitterness corroding like acid in his chest. Not as if he could read folks like a pro. After all, Betty had blindsided him, so he was aces in that department.
“Adrian.” The serious way she said his name made him sit down and shut up. Lex’s lower lip jutted out a bit, the way it did the rare few times she didn’t project sarcasm and venom. The last time he saw her like that was the night he showed up in the holding cell after she got herself in trouble at the protest. She hadn’t called Mom or Dad—Lex called him.
“First off,” Lex continued, “she was clearly into you. Someone doesn’t subject themselves to our family unless there’s vested interest. If I figured you read her wrong, you know I’d be the first to tell you to stand down.” Lex paused for a moment, took a swig from her bottle, and then decided to chug the rest of it. Adrian’s stomach squeezed tight, and he leaned forward in his armchair, elbows digging into his knees.
“Second,” she said, and this came out low, “if I met someone who inspired that level of passion, one look at them and you see forever—I’d fight a whole army, hell, I’d even fight my own demons to hold tight to them. What you see in Sam, Danny, whatever you want to call her, was true enough to last all these years. And based on how you guys vibed las
t time I saw you, those feelings have only grown more intense.”
Lex brought her knees up tight to her chest, and she wrapped her arms around them, bottle discarded in the grass beside her chair. “Beats roaming from club to club for random hook-ups in a back alley or bathroom every night.” The stark look in his sister’s eyes told him everything.
Adrian reached forward, ready to slip an arm around his sister’s shoulders on instinct when one dead-eyed look stopped him fast.
“You hug me, and I’ll burn your house down.” The “lit match to 100-proof whisky” Lex had returned.
Cal leaned forward. “You fight for us all the time, even when we push you away. Don’t think I forgot about who showed up at the house to smuggle me a couple of beers and shoot the shit after my first breakup in high school. Or who drove two hours one night to pick up my ass from a gig after my friends bailed. People don’t forget that dedication, and I don’t think Danny would, not if you care for her this much.”
His brother picked at the label of the beer he’d nursed and barely drank, more for something to do with his hands than anything. Cal glanced at him before continuing. “If she wants to be finished, then I know you’ll respect her choice, but at least give her the chance to decide when she’s in a clear and rational mindset, not in the middle of an argument. You’re so busy trying to help everyone else that you forget you’re allowed to do some things for yourself. You need the closure, to hear the truth from a level place for good or for bad.”
His words sounded so similar to Danny’s that Cal may as well have slapped him in the face.
Adrian leaned back in his seat again and tossed the stack of envelopes off his lap. This talk ripped all the scabs wide open and doused them in alcohol. As much as his ears pounded and his chest ached like he’d drowned, the first bit of cinnamon warmth whispered through his veins.
“When did you guys start making so much sense? Almost like you listened to all the shit I’ve been telling you over the years,” Adrian teased, giving Lex a gentle shove. She tossed him the middle finger in response, but the joke settled them both, calming the livewire nerves in the air. “Thank you.” Lex jerked her head in a nod, but Cal’s eyes shone with the understanding he loved to give.
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