Losing Me

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Losing Me Page 8

by Jasmine Carolina


  I opened it myself and climbed in, but, gentleman that Colin was, of course he closed it behind me.

  "I thought we could drive down to the beach. It's still early and neither of us has to be home until eleven, so I thought maybe we could just...talk." He got in the car and started it, driving off.

  "That sounds great, actually. Plus, the beach is lovely this time of the night."

  The drive toward our only beach in Harlow was short, but we laughed and sang along to the radio along the way. Colin held my hand with one of his and drove with the other, flashing me a smile every time we stopped at a red light or a stop sign.

  Our beach was small, but it was one of the rare jewels that we had in our city. The lake house was the other one, and if it weren't for the fact that my grandparents owned it, my only saving grace would have been the beach. I never got the opportunity to visit often, but when I did, I always enjoyed it.

  We got out of the car, and I took off my shoes as we headed toward the edge of the sand. I looked over at Colin, his hair blowing in the wind and his eyes alight with amusement. I grinned at him, tying my shoestrings together and holding them in my hand.

  "I'll race ya," I said, raising my eyebrows.

  "Okay." He knelt down, untying his shoes and tugging them off. He tied his laces together, then draped his shoes over his shoulders. "On the count of two."

  What?

  "The count of two? Who the Hell goes on the count of two?" I was nonplussed. I'd never heard anything like that before.

  "Dunno. I saw it on a show once and it just kind of stuck. Maybe it could be our thing or something."

  I couldn't decide whether he was insane or adorable. I shook it off, lifting my shoes above my head and chucking them toward a spot in the sand.

  "Whoever makes it to my shoes first has to buy frozen yogurt," I said. "On the count of two then?"

  Colin nodded, crouching slightly as though he was about to break into a sprint.

  "One." Colin licked his lips, then looked at me.

  "Two!" I exclaimed, taking off as fast as my legs would take me. The cool sand felt amazing beneath my feet, and I pumped my arms so that I could run faster. Colin was about a foot ahead of me, but I wasn't going to let him beat me. I pushed on, trying to go past my limit. I came up beside him but I didn't slow down--instead, I pushed harder.

  He turned to look at me, where I was flanking his right side, and he reached his arm out, grabbing my waist and pulling me against him. I stumbled, and we both toppled into the sand, a flailing of limbs, hair, laughs, and shoes. I laughed loudly as he grunted, holding me where I was, lying almost directly on top of him.

  "Cheater," I gasped, still laughing uncontrollably.

  His hand grazed the small of my back as he smiled at me. My bangs had come slightly out of the ponytail due to the wind and the fact that I'd fallen, and I tried to blow them out of my face. Colin reached up and pushed my bangs back, his thumb feathering against the side of my face.

  "I guess that means I'm buying the fro-yo, huh?" He sat up, and I pulled away from him, dragging my knees up to my chin and wrapping my arms around them. "I know the perfect place. Just tell me when you're ready to go."

  I shook my head, watching the waves as they crashed upon the shore, lapping up the sand and leaving a trail of rocks in their wake. Colin's hand took one of mine, squeezing it and resting both of our hands atop my knee.

  "Wanna go walk in the water?" he asked, quietly.

  I nodded, pulling off my socks and folding my jeans up. Colin stood up, taking my hands and pulling me to my feet. We walked through the sand, hand in hand and approaching the shore. I jumped back lightly when a wave nipped at my toes.

  "That's colder than I would have expected." I dipped my toe in the icy cold water, and then stepped into the wave as it hit my calf. I winced, still trying to adjust to the water. I looked up at Colin, whose eyes were fixated on the beach water. "Tell me something no one knows about you."

  "Hmm..." He seemed to ponder my question for a moment as he raised my hand above my head and twirled me in the water. I spun twice before turning back to face him. "I've never owned a pet. I always wanted a dog or three."

  A wave came up to just above my knee, sending me staggering a bit as the impact messed up my momentum. Colin's arm snaked around my waist, holding me close as we continued to walk along the beach in the moonlight.

  "Tell me something no one knows about you," he said.

  "I really love to read." I grinned up at him. "I know a lot of girls say that to seem smart or well-read or something, but I really truly love it. I love a little bit of everything...classics, romance, young adult, dystopian--you name it. My closet back at home has four boxes of books stacked at the bottom, just because I ran out of room on my bookshelf." I paused, closing my eyes. "If I could wish for anything, it'd be Belle's library in Beauty and the Beast."

  Colin raised his eyebrow, crouching at the edge of the water and picking something up. I didn't really pay attention to what he'd grabbed, but he stuck it into his pocket.

  "So if you could pick one book that's your absolute favorite, what would it be?"

  "Just one? What the Hell's wrong with you? That's like asking me to pick my favorite song or my favorite sibling! I can't pick just one favorite book, Colin!" I yelled.

  He chuckled, kicking up the water as he walked. "Fine, top five then."

  Now that was a compromise. That I could do.

  "The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, Divergent by Veronica Roth, Just Listen by Sarah Dessen, Slammed by Colleen Hoover, and The Fault In Our Stars by John Green." I was more than confident that those were my five favorites. They were the most read and the most worn books that were on my bookshelf, and they were the five that I'd recommend in a heartbeat to anyone who asked. "The Fault is my number one, hands down."

  "Maybe you can read to me sometime," Colin said, whipping around to face me.

  I giggled, pulling away from him as I dredged further into the water.

  I'd never read aloud to anyone besides my nieces and nephew before. Reading was...my thing. It was what I did when I needed shelter, or an escape. Sometimes I just read because I had this unrelenting need to. I loved it so much, and I didn't know if I was ready to share it with someone. That's what I should have told him, but instead, I said, "Sure. Sometime I will." I paused, and then continued walking alongside him. "What about you? Reading is my thing. What's yours?"

  Colin continued walking along the edge of the water, and I stopped, standing in place and squatting down. I rested my hands in the sand below me, letting the water run through my fingers.

  "Music," Colin said, walking back toward me, plopping down in the sand behind me. "Playing it, listening to it...it's like the only thing that keeps me sane." He pulled me down so that I was sitting down instead of squatting. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I rested my hands on his knees as I nestled myself between his legs. "You ever feel like there's something that's just so important to you, you're afraid to share it with anyone?"

  I knew that feeling all too well. That was how I felt about journaling and writing. It was something that I'd always done for as long as I could remember, but I'd never shared it with anyone. Hell, no one even knew that I did either of those things. If I ever shared that secret side of myself with someone, it'd be a miracle and a surprise all at once.

  "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," I mused.

  "What's the most important thing you've ever given someone?"

  I pondered this for a moment.

  "Actually...my twin brother had a baby freshman year," I said. "He has a little girl who's almost three years old, and around the time of her first birthday, they baptized her, and I'm her godmother. As a gift to her, I gave her this small silver hairbrush that matches one that I was given as a baby. I obviously wasn't going to give her my actual brush, but the one I gave her was an exact replica of mine, just smaller."

  "That's sweet," Colin said, kissing my he
ad. "I know you're going to ask, but the second most important thing I've ever given someone was a guitar to my younger cousin, Brad. The kid freaking idolized me for reasons I still don't understand, but for his tenth birthday, I gave him an old acoustic guitar of mine that I wasn't using anymore. His mom's always sending me pictures and videos of him playing. He's pretty good actually."

  I sighed, leaning backward into his embrace. His arms around me felt right...natural. I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling, but I knew that I never wanted to let that feeling go. I looked up at the stars, thankful for Colin, and for this date, and for everything that he'd done for me so far.

  "That's amazing," I said. "You may have helped him reach his dreams."

  "Yeah, well it's the least that I could do," Colin replied. "His dad's been gone a while, and he'd been bugging my aunt for months to get him one but she couldn't afford it. I had one lying around that wasn't being used...I'm sure he'll be thanking me for life for that."

  I laughed, squeezing his hand. "You're seriously the nicest person I've ever met. And this date has been...amazing, Colin."

  He hugged me, his lips by my ear as we embraced. He kissed my jaw line, his breath cool on my neck as he breathed against me. My entire body was on edge being in his arms like that.

  "Well trust me, pretty girl, it'll only get better from here on out."

  Seven.

  I'd gone an entire month and a half without a confrontation with Kyle. He steered clear of Colin and I, and he didn't even bother trying to mess with Brody. Michele and I had gotten progressively closer, during which time we joined the junior prom committee together so we had more time to spend with each other.

  Colin and I had been on one small date every week since he asked me. After our first date, we'd fallen into some sort of routine. Although I'd never forget our first date, they'd gotten better and better. Our second date was out to a movie--I was surprised to see that he wasn't strongly opposed to a chick flick like most guys were--where he let me pick the movie and actually enjoyed it. Our third was a picnic, and our fourth was to our school's back to school dance where I belonged to him all night long. Our fifth was to the Aquarium of the Pacific where I learned that Colin knew nearly every type of fish known to man thanks to his late grandfather taking him fishing all the time as a boy.

  We were in our last class of the day--music class, where I'd just finished singing Pistol Annies' Hell On Heels with Michie, and a fellow classmate, Serena Duran while Colin watched from his seat. It was our final every single week: we had to either sing a full-length song or play the notes he'd taught us on the piano. Colin's final of choice was to play the piano--which he was a rock star at--and mine was to sing.

  "Excellent job, Nickayla, Michele, and Serena!" Mr. Chapman said, clapping as we all took our bows. "Excellent work you all. Now, on Monday, I want you to go out of your element. For instance, Colin, I know you love to play the piano, and Nickayla loves to sing, so next week's final before I give you your Spring Break assignment will be to pair up with someone and switch roles. Singers will try their hand at either the piano or the guitar, and our musicians will be required to sing a song."

  Everyone groaned, but I was excited. I knew that Michele was looking forward to pairing with me, but more than anything, I wanted to pair with Colin. I wanted to explore our chemistry more.

  "Mr. Chapman," I said, raising my hand. When he looked at me, he nodded in acknowledgement, "what if Colin and I were to do a duet--as long as I play an instrument during it, would that be acceptable?"

  He nodded in agreement, stroking his beard.

  "Sure," he said. "So start preparing those projects this weekend. I want to see your pairing, and song selections during the first ten minutes of class on Monday."

  The bell rang the minute Mr. Chapman stopped talking, and before we knew it, everyone was scrambling to grab their books and belongings to head home. I scooped up my books and prepared to walk outside when Colin came up behind me and grabbed them from my hands.

  "Let me carry those, pretty girl," he said, smiling as he took my hand in his, twining our fingers together.

  I rolled my eyes as I laughed, walking with him toward the locker.

  True to his word, Colin had been spoiling me--perhaps far better than I even deserved. He'd picked up the tab on every date we'd had, even when I insisted that we split the bill. He'd picked me and Nomi up for school every morning--pleasing our appetites by showing up with a muffin and hot chocolate. He'd carried my books for me every time we walked down the hallway together. He even walked me to every single class just so he'd have extra time to spend with me. He hadn't gotten me any cute gifts, but according to him, they were definitely coming.

  It should have made me uncomfortable to be doted on like I was, but Colin did everything in the sweetest way.

  "So, what do we have planned for tonight, Mr. Westwick?" I asked, smiling up at him as we arrived at my locker.

  He opened it for me and put my books in, turning around to lean against it and look in my eyes with those hypnotic emerald green eyes of his.

  "Ah, ah, ah," he said. "I'm not telling you where we're going this time. Tonight's going to be a surprise. I'll give you hints, though, how about that?"

  I nodded slowly as I took his hand again, walking out of the school and toward his car.

  "Okay, I'll bite," I said. "Formal or informal?"

  He eyed me suspiciously, cocking an eyebrow at me in amusement.

  "What?" I asked, grinning sheepishly. "I just need to know how to plan my outfit!"

  He chuckled as we reached the car and he opened the door for me. I hopped in his car, and then reached for my seatbelt as he closed the door for me as well--him opening and closing the door for me was just another one of his charms.

  He walked over to the other side, hopping in himself and buckling himself in as he turned on the car.

  "Semi-formal," I said. "It's not necessarily a jeans occasion, but it's not necessarily a suit and tie occasion either. Next."

  As we pulled out of the parking lot, I tried to think of another question.

  "Hmm," I said, thinking aloud. "Are we going to be out late, or is it going to be a two hour thing like our bowling date?"

  Colin looked over at me for a second as he rounded the corner onto my street.

  "We'll be out late," he mused. "I've got something really special planned for tonight, and I promise, you're not going to want to leave."

  I felt my cheeks flame. When he said sweet things like that to me, it was hard to control my bashfulness. I lowered my head, trying to hide my smile.

  "Hey," Colin said as he pulled into my driveway. "Don't hide from me. You're beautiful when you get all shy."

  Whoa. That only made my cheeks burn even more. I looked over at him and he had the most intoxicating crooked smile on his face. As he stopped the car, he reached for my face gently, placing a hand on my cheek, setting them ablaze once again. He urged my face towards his slowly, and I thought for a moment that he was going to kiss me.

  Kiss me, Colin, I thought. Dear God, please kiss me!

  He leaned forward, kissing my forehead tenderly.

  "Make sure you're ready by six," he said. "And don't eat anything." He looked at me, and then looked down at his lap. He closed his eyes. "Nickayla, is it okay if I, um, you know...I've been thinking that maybe I would like to, um, meet your dad?"

  If I could see myself at that moment, I knew that I would have seen a grinning idiot. My smile was wider than it had been in a long time. I leaned forward and kissed Colin on the cheek, taking his hand.

  "Of course," I said. "I'll tell him that you want to as soon as he gets home from work."

  I watched in delight as he breathed a sigh of relief. Nervous Colin was even more adorable than confident Colin was. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him to breathe like he'd done for me so many times.

  He hopped out of the car, opening the door to let me out. He closed it behind me, walking me u
p to my porch. He kissed my temple and walked away slowly.

  "See you soon, Colin," I said, waving to him.

  "See you soon, Nickayla," he replied, smiling.

  I smoothed my hair down, dabbing some peach lip-gloss on my lips as I examined myself in the mirror. I twirled this way and that, checking out my outfit. I wore a flowery sundress that was belted with a thin brown bow at my waist. I wore some brown wedge heels from Charlotte Russe and accessorized with a small brown clutch that Nomi let me borrow and a pearl necklace Hannah had given me.

  I heard Colin's car pull up in the driveway, and the minute I did, I received a text message from him.

  Colin: You ready for me, pretty girl?

  I smiled; his nickname for me made me swoon in every way possible. My heart raced as I typed out a quick response to him.

  Me: Five minutes, please. Gotta get Daddy.

  I walked down the stairs and toward the kitchen. I was about to walk inside when I heard my father humming the beat to Eye of the Tiger.

  I giggled, standing in the doorway as he spread peanut butter on a slice of bread, shaking his butt to the beat in his head.

  I wasn't even sure what he thought he was dancing to until he started belting out the chorus at the top of his lungs.

  At the sound of his voice, I burst into a fit of giggles, stumbling into the kitchen. I tried to control my laughter, but it was even funnier to watch him jump at the sound of my laughing and clutch at his heart.

  "Goodness, Nickayla!" he said, out of breath. "You scared the shit out of me!"

  I laughed, wrapping him in a hug.

  "I love your voice, Daddy," I said, still giggling softly. "If you're done dancing, I want to talk to you about something." I released him and poked him playfully. "Please sit down."

  He looked down at me with a smirk on his face, then grabbed his peanut butter and banana sandwich and sat down. I watched as he took a bite--I was slightly jealous, since peanut butter and banana was my favorite sandwich--then eyed me suspiciously.

 

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