"So, what comes with the territory of being Nickayla Quinn's boyfriend?" Colin asked.
The way that phrase rolled off his tongue gave me chills.
"Well," I said, grazing his stomach lightly with my fingers, "there’re makeovers, manicures, lots of time with the girls. You know, the works."
I glanced up at him, eyeing his expression. It was a mixture of amusement and repulsion. I almost burst into laughter right there.
"Well, gee, if you had told me that ahead of time, I never would have asked you," he said, sitting up as though he were going to leave. "I change my mind."
I giggled, climbing on top of him and pushing him down again.
"You might want to take that back," I said.
"Is that so?" he asked.
"Uh-huh."
In a swift movement, Colin easily tossed me off him and he was above me, his hands lightly fingering my sides as he tickled me. The inevitable laughter rolled out of my mouth without warning. I was rolling around the truck bed, clutching my sides as tears rolled out of my eyes. His hands were at my neck, urging more laughter.
"Okay!" I yelped. "Uncle!"
Colin burst into a fit of laughter as he finally stopped tickling me, pulling me up into a sitting position. I moved so that I was sitting between his legs. His arms wrapped around me, his hands resting in my lap. I closed my eyes as I leaned back into his embrace.
"I could stay here with you forever," I said, surprising myself at my own honesty. "The way I feel about you, I've never felt it before with anyone. I don't know what it is, but I know that I never want to let you go."
"Then you'll never have to," he replied.
We pulled into Colin's driveway for what I assumed was the second and final part of our date--considering it was only 10 p.m. and I had a midnight curfew. He sighed, and then looked over at me with an odd expression on his face.
"Are you ready to meet the parentals?" he asked, smiling slightly.
I nodded, and hopped out the car before he was able to be chivalrous and open the door for me. I trotted up to the door and stood on the porch, waiting for him. Usually, Colin walked with a carefree air about him, but something about his posture wasn't right. He looked almost...nervous.
"Come on!" I exclaimed.
I may have been more excited than was necessary, but I was anxious to meet the people who were responsible for raising Colin.
I took his hand as he walked up to me, taking his keys out of his pocket and opening the door. Once inside, I was hit with a feeling of familiarity. I couldn't help but smile as I recalled the first night we spent together, the first night that I knew that Colin would change my life forever.
"Mom!" Colin called inside the house. "Dad! Suze!"
We walked toward the kitchen, and I heard voices talking quietly inside.
I followed cautiously. I was unsure of what I'd find when I got there.
"Dad, lay off," Suze was saying. "Seriously, you're overreacting."
I could hear the slam of pots, and I heard a small gasp. Colin's steps quickened as he tugged me into the kitchen.
"Colin, honey, I'm glad you're home," a woman said. I could see Colin in her at first glance, and I immediately knew she was his mother. "Your father and I were just talking and--who's this?"
She looked at me, a smile forming on her face. Colin stepped forward, never looking at the man who was facing the window in the kitchen--I assumed it was his father.
"Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Nickayla," Colin said, smiling.
I extended my hand to shake with Mrs. Westwick, but she only took it and pulled me into a hug. She smelled amazing--she was wearing White Diamonds, a perfume I had always attributed to memories of my Nana Quinn.
"So you're the girl who's been stealing Colin away from us," she said, as she pulled away and got a good look at me. "Well, my son sure chooses his girls very well. First Mads, now you? You're gorgeous." She paused. "I'm Kirstin, and this is my husband, Holden."
I blushed, slightly embarrassed.
"Colin," the man said, turning around to face us. "Do you really have time for a girlfriend?"
I recoiled, stunned by the brutal honesty of what was just spoken.
Colin was at my side in an instant, his hand in mine. I expected that he was holding my hand to support me, because it was obvious that his father didn't like me, but instead, I found that his hands were clammy and rigid, as though he were the one who was nervous. I squeezed his hand, unsure of what was going on.
"Dad, I've got straight A's," Colin stammered. "Considering we just moved here and I should be behind, I'm actually ahead. You should be proud of me."
The man laughed without humor. He was walking toward us, and I felt Colin tense beside me. I could feel his hand shaking, and I couldn't fathom whether it was fear or nerves.
"Proud of you?" Holden said. "For what? You're taking normal classes and passing them easily. You're not in student council, or playing a sport, or doing anything extracurricular besides hanging out with this girl."
I felt as though I had been slapped. I had the best date ever, and I was finally Colin's girlfriend, but already there was someone against us, an unlikely enemy that I never anticipated having.
"Dad, don't," Suze said, eyeing me with a sympathetic expression.
"Stay out of this, Susanna Marie," Mr. Westwick said.
I risked a glance at Colin, and was shocked to see that his head was down, his eyes fixed on the floor. Immediately, I was furious. I had seen confident Colin, playful Colin, nervous Colin, but this--this Colin was someone I didn't know, someone I didn't want to know. He looked...small, and that was not something I was accustomed to. Anyone who made him feel small was an enemy in my mind, and I was pissed that that person was his own flesh and blood. I wasn't comfortable watching someone make Colin, my Colin feel inferior.
"Dad, I'm taking two AP classes," Colin replied, stammering. "We moved out here too late for me to join any sports or extracurricular activities. I'm trying my best."
The man laughed, stepping forward so that he was inches away from his son. I felt Colin reach for my hand, clearly temporarily forgetting that he already had it. I squeezed it for reassurance as he breathed raggedly.
"When I was your age, I had a full time job, straight A's, played basketball, and ran the student council, on top of coming home daily to raise my siblings," Holden said. "Your mother babies you, and I'm not going to stand for it. I expect you to be a man and show that you're worth being proud of, because right now you're not."
I inhaled sharply, shocked at what I'd just heard. I had never heard anyone speak to his child like that, and I never wanted to hear it again.
Holden turned to look at me.
"Now, Michaela, is it?" he asked.
"Nickayla," I corrected, a sharp edge to my voice.
"Whatever," he said. "My son doesn't have time for a girlfriend. I think you should leave my house, and consider finding someone else to date. My son is not for you. He has other priorities to get in line, and you shouldn't be one of them."
“Don't talk to her like that!" Colin exclaimed.
Holden reared back and slapped Colin across the face so hard that it echoed across the room. Instead of recoiling, or putting a hand to his face, Colin only let go of my hand and took a step forward, staring his father down with a fierce intensity. His breathing never faltered as his chest thrust forward in an effort to make himself feel taller.
"You think you're a man, Colin?" he leered. "You're nothing. You're nothing but a boy, and right now, the sight of you disgusts me. Get out of my face."
"Holden, enough," Kirstin said, rushing over to wrap her arms around Colin, but he pulled away, rushing upstairs to his room.
I was flabbergasted. I had never seen anyone hit his child like that, and it was a hell of a first impression Holden Westwick was leaving on me. I could care less that he didn't approve of me, or my relationship with Colin, but I did care that he'd just talked down to and abused someone I
cared about. All I could think about was Colin and what he was possibly feeling at that moment.
"You're an asshole," I said, quietly, running up the stairs after Colin.
I found his door closed, but I heard nothing but ragged breathing. I walked inside, only to find him standing next to the door, his head tilted upward as silent tears fell from his eyes.
"Colin," I said, reaching out for him.
"Please don't," he said.
I took his hand and led him to the bed. I sat down on it, and he fell to his knees on the floor in front of me, his arms around me as he buried his face in my abdomen, holding on to me for dear life. I placed my hands on his back, rubbing them in small circles like he'd done for me many times before. I held him close to me in silence, as he shook beneath my touch.
"Nothing I ever do is good enough," he said, his voice garbled. "I'll never make him happy."
I didn't know what it was that made me feel like Colin's life was perfect. He seemed so happy, so free all the time, and I just assumed he was. Seeing him like this, seeing him hurt, I felt a personal pain in my soul seeing him in such a fragile state.
"Colin, look at me, please," I begged, yearning for him to lift his head.
I knew that no one was perfect, but I saw an angelic quality in Colin that was staggering. I didn't want anyone to ever look at him the way his father had, and didn't want anyone to ever talk to him the way his father had. I wasn't going to be like his mother and stand by while someone treated him like shit. Colin deserved better than that, and I was going to give him what we deserved.
He raised his head, his eyes searching for something that I wasn't sure my eyes held: reassurance.
"Colin, you're amazing," I said. "You're handsome, and smart, and funny. You're everything I could ever hope for or want in a boyfriend." I paused. "Your father is stupid for not seeing all the wonderful things in you. You don't owe him a damn thing."
His eyes relaxed, and he got up, sitting next to me on the bed. He laid his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes.
"Thank you," he replied, his voice barely a whisper.
“Oh. My. Gawd," Michele said, squealing as we sat on her bed, eating ice cream. I was recounting my date with Colin to her--obviously leaving out the part where I'd watched my new boyfriend get physically and emotionally abused--and she was naturally beyond excited. "That is so sweet, Kales! We should totally have a double date!"
I stopped eating abruptly. It would be the worst idea possible to take Colin on a double date with Michele and Brody. For one thing, they were sickeningly sweet. He brought out the crazy in her, and she calmed his wild side. Together, they were so romantic it was almost disgusting. Besides that, after Colin and Brody's initial meeting, I wasn't sure if I was ready to put them in the same room again.
"I dunno," I said skeptically. "I don't want Brody giving my boyfriend the third degree." I grinned, temporarily taken aback with how amazing the word boyfriend made me feel. "Besides, I'm so smitten with him; we're in that honeymoon phase, and I'm not ready to share him just yet."
Michie nudged me, her face bright. I knew that Michele would be happy for me, and I could only hope that eventually Brody would feel the same. Colin was a charmer, naturally, and he'd already won over Nomi, Michele, and surprisingly my dad. He'd passed the hardest tests thus far, and I knew he would pass the others. I just wasn't ready for him to meet the more difficult people in my life: Nikkolas and Nathan.
"I'll tell you what," I said. "Give me two weeks tops. I need him to meet Nate and Nikky first, and then I'll consider a double date. If he passes the big brother tests--and the niece and nephew test, then maybe I'll even say yes when he asks me to the senior prom."
Michele threw a pillow at me, giggling as she did so.
"Come on Nic, you know you couldn't say no to that boy even if you wanted to," she said.
I sighed.
She was right in every way. She knew me best, even better than I knew myself ninety-nine percent of the time. She was my best friend, my other half, the reflection of me. She gave me what I needed when I didn't even know that I needed it. She told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear, and made no apologies for it.
The fact that she approved of Colin, well, that was just the icing on top of the cake. I knew that I would still like Colin just as much whether my friends and family approved or not, but the fact that they did made our relationship so much better.
"Oh, goodness, Kales," Michie said, her voice soft. "You're falling in love with him. I can see it in your eyes. You're...happy."
I felt heat rise in my cheeks, and I grinned bashfully at her.
"I am," I said. "I've never been happier in my entire life."
Nine.
"Colin, seriously! Valentine's Day is not that big of a deal. I don't need a whole shebang or whatever," I said, groaning as he pulled into a parking lot. "Plus, we've only been together for less than two weeks. I swear, if you've got something huge planned--"
"What? What'll you do?" he asked, nudging my shoulders. "I swear, it's not a 'whole shebang or whatever’. But you're crazy if you think I'm going to skip Valentine's Day. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me, so suck it up!"
He'd picked me up about half an hour before, and tried to convince me that we needed to go out for Valentine's Day. I hated the holiday, to be honest. I personally thought it was a holiday created by women, jewelers, and greeting card companies to force men to spend truckloads of money for one day. The way that I saw it, both people in the relationship should show their affections, and not just on one day, but everyday.
"Fine," I conceded. "But I hope you didn't buy me a gift."
Colin chuckled, shutting the car off and getting out. I hopped out of the car behind him, taking his hand as we walked out of the parking lot and onto the carnival fairgrounds. I turned to grin at my boyfriend, and he pulled me toward the ticketing booth.
Harlow was the kind of city that went all out for holidays, especially ones like Valentine's Day. Our annual Valentine's Day carnival was one that I'd never been to but had always wanted to experience for myself.
It was amazing how over-the-top the people in Harlow went for this day. All the booths were lined with heart-shaped balloons and pink and red teddy bears. The rides that were normally called 'Whiplash' or 'Tunnel of Doom' were renamed 'Whipped' and 'Tunnel of Love'. The funnel cakes were heart-shaped and adorned with strawberries. The photo booths were fixed to have love-themed borders rather than the normal ones. The best attraction though was the prizes that had been switched out for more romantic gifts like travel-sized perfumes, heart-shaped boxes of Godiva and Ferrero Rocher chocolates, small trinkets, and silly his and hers coordinated gifts. It was far cheesier than I ever could have anticipated, but I had to admit that I was excited to be there with Colin.
"How many tickets do you want to get?" Colin asked, pulling out his wallet.
I lived for cheesy carnival rides. I loved roller coasters and the Ferris wheel, and I especially loved the ride that they'd renamed Whipped. Besides that, carnival funnel cakes were my second favorite sweet treat in the entire world.
"Ten maybe? The games are what I'm really interested in--not many of the rides here have caught my eye," I replied. "But some food tickets would definitely be necessary--I love the funnel cakes here."
"Welcome to the Harlow Carnivale de Amour!" the cashier at the window exclaimed.
Colin released my hand as he stepped toward the ticketing booth. He pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it to the cashier in the window. "Ten ride tickets and ten food tickets, please." The cashier handed him ten red tickets and ten pink tickets, then gave him a coupon for two games for the price of one. "The games have to be paid for with cash, then?"
"Yeah. They're only like a dollar apiece, unless you're trying to win her a necklace or something," the cashier replied. "Have fun, you two lovebirds!"
Taking Colin's hand, I raced over to the Tunnel of Love. It was
a small roller coaster that went through a tunnel filled with the cheesiest decorations known to humankind. "Come on! Let's get on this first!"
He chuckled, trailing behind me and ripping off two tickets, then handing them to the ticket holder. We followed the man to the platform and watched patiently as he lifted our safety bar. I climbed in first, and Colin followed behind me, pulling the bar back down over both of our laps.
"Come here," Colin said, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me so that I was right up against him. I held his hand and rested both our hands in his lap, laying my head on his shoulder while I waited for the ride to start. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day."
"This is the last ride, I promise," I said, cuddling against Colin as the Ferris wheel buzzed to a start.
"It's okay," Colin said. "I'd do anything for you."
We'd ridden the Tunnel of Love three times in a row, and we'd split a funnel cake with strawberry topping and whipped cream. The best part of the night, however, wasn't the four teddy bears he'd won me at the games booths, or the small, braided bracelets we'd gotten with our names and the date we got together on them, or even the fact that he'd carried me on his back in between rides. The best part of the night was, in fact, the entire night.
Every moment that I'd spent with him that night was one that I would never forget, and it was the fact that he was ready and willing to do all the cheesy romantic couples' things with me that made me enjoy this outing so much. He'd even gone so far as to take a strip of photos with me in the photo booth.
I wrapped my arms around him, peering over the edge of the gondola as the ride moved in its circle. When we reached the top, I could see the entire Ferris wheel reflected in the water. I had to admit, it was quite a sight, and I could understand why the carnival was such a big deal to most people in this town.
"Look at that!" I exclaimed. I was overexcited, unable to conceal the awe in my voice.
Losing Me Page 10