by Lila Felix
Omar looked at me. I hoped he didn’t think I had the answers.
He chewed on the question a few more seconds before asking, “You know where it is when you send it out? It does what you command, correct?”
I nodded.
“Then he should have some piece of that gift. I don’t think he can create his own shadow, but he might think that shadow is you. It might be enough…” His voice trailed off.
“Enough to what?”
Ari smiled like a cat that saw her mouse. “Enough to trap him into flashing there. And wherever he is, the shaven-haired wench will be.”
I took in her plan and mulled it over a while. It just might work. My chest warmed with the knowledge I held about the entire situation.
What he didn’t know, what none of them knew, was that if I wanted to, I could end it all—end me—end Sanctum—and wait for Colby in the beyond. But she deserved life.
She deserved everything life had to offer her.
First, he would fix Colby—and then he would die.
Mmm… He cooed in my mind. His words slithered through my conscious like a slug along the ground, leaving trails of discomfort and dirtiness. That person you let in was onto something. I think she’s got me figured out, Princesa. Shame on you—just opening up your mind like that to anyone.
I mentally gagged on his words. They were filthy and wound through my veins like slime. More and more, he had begun to speak to me in Portuguese.
I hated it.
Even more, I hated that he might’ve ruined the language for me forever. If Theo said anything to me in Portuguese, even in love, from then on, I might not be able to handle it.
Do you see the flaw in my plan yet?
For days, maybe hours, I didn’t know time anymore, Sanctum had told me every detail of his plan to make Theo give him access to Paraiso—including bringing me to the brink of death in the process.
What he didn’t think of was that Theo’s loyalty to the Almighty ran far deeper than his loyalty to me. I’d known it all along and had accepted it. More than that, I knew that his choice was the way it should be.
No, I answered, but of course, I did. The thing that Pema didn’t know was that the baby she carried would never be hers or his. It would never be hers because the birth would kill her, and Sanctum knew that before he… ewww.
She would die trying to find someone to love her or searching for some kind of meaning in all of this.
It would be the death of her.
She would die giving birth to the son of the man who wanted to end us all.
What a way to go.
The flaw is… your darling Theodore isn’t doing anything to save you. He’s traveling back and forth to the Fray, rescuing those idiots who got stuck. Oh, and you know what else? He has a new friend—someone not as… needy as you. She’s got her own powers, that Malynn. Plus, now she knows all your devilish little secrets. Poor Theodore probably needed a good shoulder to cry on after he heard all the things you’ve been thinking about him—about all of this—about me.
Sanctum was an idiot if he thought I was going to believe any of his bullshit. Theo was loyal to a fault.
But it had been days since I last heard his voice…
And if Theo lets you die—who will raise my little devil?
“Can she hear me?” I constantly sought answers from Malynn on Colby’s state. She swore to me that she saw no reason why Colby wouldn’t be able to hear me, but I had my doubts.
Or had Sanctum somehow stopped her from hearing my voice?
“She can, I believe.”
The ‘I believe’ part was new.
We sat on either side of Colby’s body, now getting nutrients and fluids through an IV around the clock. Sanctum might be able to bring her pain, but Malynn’s medicine was at least keeping her knocked out.
Sighing, I just hoped it wasn’t keeping her out without relieving the pain.
Malynn spoke, “I hope Ari’s plan will work. She is certainly passionate about it. I’ve never had friends. But if I had them, I would want them to be like her and Collin. I thought we Clandestine were loyal, but your people would do anything for you—even the Synod seems to have changed their ways in seemingly a short amount of time.”
Sending my shadow out in Scotland seemed so strange. It was about the only place that Colby and I hadn’t gone. Neither had Sanctum. Plus, I hadn’t sent the shadow out in so long that it felt strange, like peeling my skin from my body.
“I think it will. I’m pretty sure he is already locked on to the shadow’s location, but whether he will fall for the trap is another thing.”
Malynn sighed and pushed a hair behind Colby’s ear. “I hate that the smart ones are usually the bad guys. Ever notice that? They should use those smart brains for something nice.”
I chuckled at her assessment. It was true, of course.
“She needs to be bathed. She has been laying here for almost two days, sweating. Let me go get some hot water and soap and I will be right back.”
“No.” I stopped her with my palms out. “Let me. This is my mate.”
Malynn opened her mouth to argue, but I was having none of it. I grabbed a large bowl from the bathing area and filled it with warm water from a pot that was kept over a fire, along with a towel, a sponge, and soap.
If she were with me, Colby would’ve probably complained about the soap smelling like sandalwood.
She hated the smell of that and patchouli.
She said patchouli reminded her of a stoner girl in high school who committed suicide.
I walked back in and set up before running everyone off. Malynn was having a conversation with Collin and Ari about me not allowing her to do her duty.
“Malynn, your job is to protect and serve us, correct?” She nodded. “And while I respect that, there is no one on this Earth who can care for my mate like I can. Not even you.”
For a split second, she was offended. Then her face softened. She understood.
“Everyone out. Colby would be really pissed if I started stripping her in front of the Viking. He had the hots for her in the beginning—there was shameless flirting. Although, now that I think about it, we know there were some questionable naked moments between Ari and Colby while I was gone. I’m not even going to ask about those. Collin, you might want to find out the down low on that before mating this one.”
Collin looked offended, but then blushed.
Ari held up two fingers with one hand while the other one was busy making her point, fisted on her hip. Collin was behind her, barely keeping his composure. “There were two shower incidents. And both times, I was rescuing her from her crying her eyes out because you left her again.” A gasp chased her words. I didn’t think she intended to reveal so much. “Theo, I’m…”
I turned away. I couldn’t look at her anymore. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. “Just go, Ari. I need to take care of her like I haven’t so many times.”
It was a dig, and Ari didn’t deserve it. That was what happened sometimes. Friends were trusted to be there through thick and thin, so words and emotions got spilled onto them without censor.
Real friends knew when you were saying bad things because of self-righteousness
The rest were just there for the good times—or to take advantage.
I knelt next to my mate, my love, and my heart, ready to happily fulfill one of our sacred vows, to care for her in times of sickness. It was an honor that I’d never wanted to fulfill. “Colby, meu amada. I’m going to undress you now. You’ve been wearing this dress for more than one day. I know that if you could, you’d have been out of it a long time ago.” I started at the small straps at the top of the dress, moving them down her arms. Malynn had unhooked her IV, so I had to move quickly.
“Meu coração, I have to tell you some things while I have you to myself. Ari told me how much you cry when I leave for the Fray. She didn’t mean to. I knew that you were sad, but I assumed you were okay. You’ve always been okay wit
hout me. Isn’t that right? I can’t say that my decision to do what I had to would’ve changed, but como tu me podes perdoar. There will be a time, soon, when you won’t have to worry about that anymore. You won’t have to cry while I’m gone to the Fray. You will stop missing me one day. I know what I have to do now. I know how to stop all of this. Vai depressa terminar. I promise you that, Querida.”
Sliding the dress off her skeleton form, I bit down on the inside of my cheeks to keep from gasping or making any other kind of noise that she would hear as shock. She didn’t really need to know that I was completely aghast at what she had become in such a short amount of time. She wasn’t any less beautiful or strong. In fact, she would emerge from this stronger. But saying that was wrong too.
Who wanted to hear that when they were going through something?
No one. That was who.
I focused on telling her what would be.
“Ah, my love, you will see. I have a plan that no one sees coming. They don’t know that my way of ending Sanctum will be swift. He won’t be anything but a deflated version of what he is now. He will be left breathing—but I will kill him at the same time. Let me tell you why, Querida. He deserves so much more than death. Death would be a welcome release after what I’m going to do to him.”
I washed her hair first, the best I could, washing away the sweat from her spasms and cries for help. Strands of her blonde locks came out in my hands and the rest of it was thin like spider webs.
“He took from our people and I will take from him.”
Moving to her face, I took great pains in making sure every cranny was clean, her eyes, her ears, and those lovely lips.
“He brought death to us, but I will deliver a fate ten times worse.”
I rushed through washing her chest and her stomach, growing nauseous at her protruding ribs and her stomach that dipped lower than her once-luscious hipbones.
“He is darkness, but I will end him with light and sacrifice.”
As I finished up, I knew she would appreciate being clean when she woke up. After grabbing a similar white dress that was laid out, I crumpled it up into a circle that would go over her head.
Her eyes were open, looking at me.
“Colby.”
Panic rushed into her glassy blue eyes as she stared at me. Her lips were the first to quiver before the vibrations went throughout her body into an almost seizure-like motion.
“He’s in me. He hates you. Says you don’t love me.”
Then the convulsions started—with piercing screams that I’d never heard from my mate and didn’t want to ever again.
“Malynn!” I yelled out, my voice barely reaching a volume that was louder than Colby.
Malynn came in, making sure the curtain was closed behind her. She reached for a needle, and, with her knee on Colby’s arm to stabilize her, stuck it into the tube in her arm and then released her.
The result was almost immediate.
The shaking and the screaming stopped as she was pulled under the tide of release.
Yet her eyes were still fixed on me. And all I could think of was that somewhere that bastard was killing her from the inside out and telling her all the while that I didn’t love her.
If I wasn’t going to be with her forever—at least she would know that I love her.
“Minha Querida, know that I love you with everything I am. I love you now and will love you into the beyond. No matter if it is here or in Paraiso, I will wait on you and love you every second until you come back to me.”
Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she passed out again. There was no telling if my words sunk in or if they were lost in her drowning.
Slumping over on my side, I lay beside Colby. Malynn finished dressing her and sang some song that I could only equate with longing filled with words I didn’t know but could comprehend so well.
There was nothing but lament and revenge in my heart. Sometimes, I thought that the vengefulness might be overruling the other. I couldn’t let that happen.
Sanctum wouldn’t take away the love I had in my heart. It was the only thing that separated me from him.
My love for her.
“Eidolon, I have seen your choice,” Malynn whispered, checking Colby’s vitals with what looked like rudimentary tools. She didn’t meet my eyes. “I understand, but she will not. It will take years before she fully forgives you. Longer than that to forget. There are other choices.”
Once again, I took advantage of my position in this place and among these people. “You will not tell a living soul about my choice. You will do your best to take care of my mate no matter where I am—if my heart is beating or not. Are we clear?”
I denied my baser instincts to say those things to her in such a manner, but she had to know the level of responsibility that I was giving to someone I’d met just days before.
There was no greater duty she could hold in my eyes than to be the protector and soother of my mate when—when I could not be.
“I understand, Eidolon. I won’t let you down. I will be with her until my dying breath.”
The thing was—there wasn’t a choice at all. I couldn’t kill Sanctum. Even if I could, it wouldn’t solve our race’s problem. There would be another Eidolon after me and another Sanctum after him.
It would continue until we learned our lesson.
Until we learned how to unite and function together.
Until the Eidolon rose to his responsibility.
Every group of people needed a martyr, right?
Ari’s hands were around the barrel that was my torso and she was using what puny strength she had for holding me back. I let her only because her ego was so fragile and she kind of scared me when it was compromised.
She strained to talk while stopping me. “You won’t stop him. Whatever he’s made up his mind to do—you can’t stop him. He will just flash away and do it without us. We have a big enough war without creating new ones within ourselves.”
I frowned down at her for acting silly. Saying big words while her tiny form was trying to hold me back was funny. The only reason I was letting her was because I would hurt her if I ran her over.
Except she wasn’t being silly at all. She was dead on, and I knew it.
“He’s being too generic. He’s not saying what he means. I need to at least know what he means.”
“Why?”
“So I can know how to stop him.” I rolled my eyes at her. I didn’t think I had ever done that before.
She pushed against my chest a little harder, surprising me. “And you think he will because you barge in there demanding that he say it? And even if he does, can we really stop him? I know he doesn’t know what he’s doing as the Eidolon. He seems to put out fires instead of having a solid plan of attack.
“But as Theo, Colby’s mate, there was no guessing. He knew what she wanted and needed and he would stop at nothing to get the task completed for her. He once had me flash to Hawaii to get some Hibiscus flowers because she had a project but couldn’t find one to show. He cashed in all of his savings bonds before her birthday to buy her a ring that she threw back at him, telling him that it was over. There was no length he wouldn’t go to in order to do what she needs—nothing—including…”
“No. Don’t say it. Damn it all. Don’t say it.”
I thrust my fingers into my hair, pulling it by the roots, hoping it would help me with the buried aggravation that I wouldn’t be able to let out in front of Theo. “I know. Haven’t you seen him since he came back this time? It was different. He didn’t talk about the people in the Fray. There was no muscle soreness or disorientation like before. He’s pensive and always looking to the sky in silence. And it’s not because of Colby. I know him. Grinding his jaw or pumping his fists open and closed—that’s for his hurting mate. The staring into space—the longing looks to the wide open—something else happened there that he’s not telling us. I don’t have powers like you all, but I know what I’m seeing.”
&
nbsp; “He will tell us. He’s our friend.”
She thumped her head against my chest in aggravation—or in giving up on me. “There are some things that are too painful even for friends. There are some burdens we have to carry alone. I think this is one of them for Theo. And as his friends, we have to respect that.”
I turned my head to rest a cheek on the top of her head. I didn’t like this part of it. I didn’t like that he had to do anything alone.
That was what killed the last Eidolon—going at it alone—hiding himself and his family away from everyone instead of facing what was in front of him.
He even hid from his mate—staying longer and longer in the Fray to escape what his life had become—a shadow of what the Almighty meant for it to be.
“Come on. Let’s check in with the teams. They have to have seen something by now.”
“Ari…” I stopped her with my hand on her waist. She stopped and looked at me in question. We had been a little distant in the past days, handling everything and mostly just surviving. But seeing Theo long to say things to Colby that he might never get a chance to say made me more aware of the same thing happening to me. We didn’t know what was going to happen when and if we ever found Pema.
And we probably wouldn’t until it was too late.
So, I had to use up every second we got.
“I love you, Ari. I didn’t think I’d ever find you—I didn’t think I’d ever find a mate.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically and lifted up on her tiptoes to kiss me quick and hard. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Viking. I found you. And I love you back infinity squared.”
I left Colby to rest in the middle of the night. Most of the Clandestine were taking shifts sleeping so that when Sanctum showed himself, we would all be ready. The desert was still. I couldn’t hear a lick of wind outside. The same was true inside. Everyone was running on empty, but running like hell in spite of it.
“Any news?” I asked. I had felt something like static when I was lying next to Colby but ignored it. Maybe they were on to something.