Because it was so, so good.
Beyond good.
Unbelievably good.
It just wasn’t Kevin.
6
NOW WHAT? ADDIE WAS lying half underneath Derek instead of Kevin, and Derek was kissing her, sweet perfect kisses that reached all the way around her body and pulled her closer to him in every respect. She wasn’t exactly objecting.
Which left her with a terribly painful choice to make. Either she could pretend she’d meant to come into Derek’s bedroom all along and go through with the seduction, or—
Addie gasped. Derek had started tasting the curve where her shoulder left off and her neck began, sending shivers...everywhere.
This was a time for rational superpowers.
Like this: either continue the seduction, or she could—and should—be honest, tell Derek she was sorry, truly sorry, but she’d made a terrible mistake. And then he’d stop sending her into orbit.
As he’d sent dozens and dozens of other women, all around the world.
That did it.
“Derek.” She put up a hand to ward off his next kiss, which he was aiming for her mouth.
“Yes, Addie.” He sounded amused. What was so funny?
“Um. The thing is.”
“Ye-e-s?” He kissed her bare shoulder, a slow gentle kiss that made her pause, because her shoulder had never been made to feel quite that way and she wanted to enjoy it.
“I made a mistake.”
“Really.” He lowered his head to her breast; his mouth took her nipple. Wet heat. Pressure. A shock of pleasure through her.
She closed her eyes and forced out her new mantra: other women. Many other women. Probably all other women.
“I thought you were Kevin.”
He lifted off her very, very disappointed breast. “Yeah?”
Completely unconcerned. Addie blinked up at what she could see of his face. “But—”
Another gasp. His mouth had decided it couldn’t neglect her other nipple.
“But...” She struggled to remain coherent. Her hips really wanted to strain toward his, and she needed to get them under control. “I didn’t come in here to have sex with you.”
“So it seems.”
He moved the rest of the way over her. Addie nearly shrieked in protest, until she realized he was wearing underwear. Soft, distended underwear, which was currently transferring amazing amounts of heat to a certain spot between her legs she was very, very fond of.
“But, so that means you need to let me go.” No, no, he needed to let her come.
“Does it?” Derek moved his chest back and forth over her breasts, the hair—stopping well short of gorilla—a stimulating male texture across her skin.
Then he started kissing her again in earnest. Powerful teasing kisses that turned her on as if he was...doing other things. Which she desperately wanted him to be doing.
All of them.
But she’d come in to rekindle something with Kevin, an old friend she could trust with her body and her heart, and it was sort of awful of her to be playing with Derek like he was the shinier, newer toy.
With resolve borne of strength she wished she didn’t have, Addie wrenched her lips away from his. “I can’t think when you’re doing that to me.”
“Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“Yes. It tells me I can’t think when you’re doing that to me.”
He chuckled and moved back. Immediately her body felt chilly. And lonely. “Better?”
No. “Yes, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Now what? She should get out of this bed immediately, throw Sarah’s sweater back on, have whatever conversation they should have while standing safely across the room and then go to bed, after she smacked Sarah silly for giving her the wrong directions to Kevin’s room.
“So you were hoping to jump in bed with Kevin. It’s not too late, you know. He’s right across the hall.”
She gaped at him, prickling with outrage. “You think I could make out with you and then go across the hall and seduce Kevin?”
“Why not?” Derek shrugged in the near darkness, lit an eerie Shrek-green shade by the glow stick. He was still sexy. And very unogre-like. “It’s not like we exchanged rings.”
“No, no, I know, but...” She wasn’t sure how to explain it. “I can’t. I mean, after this kind of a...connection.”
“Connection?”
Argh! What had she used that word for? Thank God for the dim light to hide her blush—but didn’t green and red mix to make muddy brown? “No, not that. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Why not?”
“Because men like you don’t.” She spoke more harshly than she meant to and swung her legs over the side of the bed, confused, hurt and more confused because she didn’t understand why she was hurting. Embarrassed, she’d understand right away. Appalled ditto. But she should not be feeling rejected. She was the one who’d put a stop to this.
“Hey.” His hand settled on her thigh. His voice was gentle. “I’m sorry. Really. This was a shock to both of us.”
“No kidding.”
“But the connection wasn’t.”
She turned to him. Another shock. “You felt that?”
“From the beginning.” He drew his hand down her cheek. “I knew we’d be good together.”
“Physically.” Well, duh, Addie, what did she think he meant, spiritually?
“That much for sure. Don’t know what else, yet. You felt it, too.”
“I...yes, some. A little. Yeah.” Little like the universe was little. “Okay, a lot.”
He gave that deep chuckle that had become familiar and very attractive. Like pretty much everything else about him.
In defense, she tried to conjure up a picture of Kevin, and got him snoring and drooling on the sofa.
Oops. But really, that made her feel tenderly toward him for being a normal flawed human being. She might lust after Derek, but tenderness counted for more.
“So tell me, Addie. What did you mean a ‘man like you’?”
“Oh.” She struggled with how to explain, more aware than she wanted to be that she hadn’t left his bed yet, and that it wasn’t really difficult to figure out why not.
“One with...considerable experience...in the area of...physical relationships.”
Silence for half a beat, then they both started giggling.
“Translation?” he asked lightly.
“Um...you get laid a lot?” That threw them both into another round of suppressed giggles. Very dangerous. Sharing a private joke in bed together made the darkened room seem even more intimate.
“Where did you get that idea, Addie?” He held up his hand. “Wait, don’t tell me. Sarah.”
“Oh. Well...yes.” Addie wrinkled her nose. Sarah, who had lied about him being sexually aggressive on the beach, and whose hobby was inflating gossip. “She said she heard it from Paul.”
“Ah.” He rubbed his head. “I get it now.”
“So...it’s true?” Addie bit her lip. Jeez, could she have sounded any more disappointed?
“Paul and I joke a lot about the girl in every port thing. With my career it’s hard to have any kind of long-term relationship. I’m never around. But I don’t use women, and I don’t hunt them just for sex.”
Addie drew her knees up, hugged them to her chest, feeling suddenly exposed even though she’d been naked all along. His playboy reputation was the only reason she had stopped her seduction of the wrong man. “You don’t ever want to settle down in a real home somewhere?”
“I’ve thought about it.” He pushed hair back that had fallen over her forehead. “But I love what I do. It would take an extraordinary woman to make me wan
t to give up this life.”
She nodded, more confused than ever, knowing she needed to get up and leave and wanting more than ever to lie down in those amazing strong arms and escape into bliss.
What about Kevin?
“So what now, Addie Sewell?” He touched her chin, let his hand fall to the mattress. “Would you like to spend the night with me?”
Yes. She wasn’t going to answer that way, but her soul did, loud and clear. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Derek.”
“No?”
“You’re leaving for the other side of the world on Sunday. I don’t have to commit to every guy I sleep with, but I generally hope for more than three days.”
“And with Kevin you have that option.”
“Yes.” The answer came out automatically. After what had just happened in this bed, she couldn’t picture spending the next three days with Kevin. But she wasn’t going to tell Derek that. She needed about a week to sort out her feelings. Why hadn’t she stayed home with Great-Aunt Grace’s boxes?
“Okay, Addie.”
Three beats later, she realized that was her cue. Bye, Addie, don’t let the door hit you... She slid off the bed and crossed to where Sarah’s sweater was covering the glow stick, which burned unpleasantly bright when she slipped the black garment over her shoulders like a cape, wistfully reliving her hope and excitement when she’d let it drop.
Behind her she heard Derek’s body swishing over the sheets, then silence. He must have lain down again, and was trying to sleep. Or was he watching her leave? Would he lie awake thinking about her and what might have been? Would she?
At the door, she reached for the handle then heard his footsteps behind her. His arms came up on either side of her head to keep the door from opening, trapping her inside. The sweater fell. She could feel the heat of his body behind her. “Addie.”
“Yes.” Her voice was a breathless whisper.
“If you change your mind...” His lips landed on her shoulder, stubble a delicious rasp on her skin, making her shiver with desire.
“I will.” She froze in horror at what she’d implied. “I mean I will let you know.”
That gorgeous chuckle again. Then silence so tense she screwed her eyes shut, desperate to leave, but unable to until he chose to let her, desperate to lean back into him and absorb the feel of his skin against hers, to give in, let him take her back to bed and to places she had a feeling she’d never been before.
His arms came down. She was free to go. “Good night, Addie.”
“Night.” Not bothering to finish covering herself, she grabbed the sweater, pulled the door open and launched herself out into the hall.
Where she collided, butt naked, with the wiry-haired bare chest of Kevin Ames.
7
“KEVIN.” Addie clutched Sarah’s black sweater around herself, covering her breasts, which had obviously been waving around in full view seconds before because Kevin’s eyes were still popping out of his head.
“Addie, what...” He gestured past her with his flashlight. “Wait, that’s your room? I thought you were sleeping downstairs with Sarah.”
“Oh. Uh.” God, could this be any worse? “Actually—”
“I thought that was Derek’s room.”
“It...is.” Her stomach gave a sickening lurch. What would have happened if she’d taken the right turn...or rather the left turn? She certainly wouldn’t have to be explaining her way out of this mess.
Kevin looked hurt, then angry. “What the hell, Addie? I thought you and I were on to something. Now you’re with him?”
“Kevin, we need to talk.” Addie pulled him away from the door on the other side of which Derek was undoubtedly laughing his very fine ass off. “Somewhere private.”
“Here.” He escorted her across the hall and waited expectantly, arms folded, flashlight pointing downward so his face glowed with eerie shadows as well as monster-green from the glow stick.
Addie looked at him questioningly. What was so much more private about this side of the landing? “What about your room?”
“We’re fine here. No one will hear us. Why are you coming naked out of this guy’s room in the middle of the night?”
“I...” Addie closed her eyes. This was horrible. Since she hadn’t made it into Kevin’s room, she still had no idea how he might react to the idea of her seducing him. “I thought it was yours.”
Kevin was silent for so long, she opened her eyes. Well, one eye. Just for a peek.
His arms were no longer across his chest. He was no longer looking as if he could growl. He looked rather stunned, in fact. “So you slept with Derek instead?”
“No! Of course not.” She felt herself blushing in the dim light. It would help nothing to mention how much she’d wanted to sleep with him. “I went in there thinking it was your room and when I realized it wasn’t, I came back out.”
Just...not quite immediately.
“Addie.” His voice was gentle now. “You were going to seduce me?”
“Yes.” In sudden horror she realized he could easily say okay, then, let’s do it. The only thing she wanted to do less than seduce him now was to explain why she no longer wanted to. She wasn’t even sure why herself, except that it had something to do with Derek.
Okay, everything to do with him.
“Wow, Addie. What a surprise.” He didn’t sound as if he meant a fabulous Christmas-day-biggest-package surprise. More like a so-you’ve-gone-back-to-drinking surprise. “I didn’t think you were the type.”
Of course she wasn’t. But he didn’t need to point that out. “Obviously I’m not. Look how I screwed this up.”
“See...to be honest here, Addie, I’m a take-charge kind of guy.”
“You are?” She had no idea what he was talking about, and it irritated her. This was Kevin. Kevin Ames. Addie was supposed to be melting into a big puddle at his feet, and that was absolutely not happening. Not even close.
Addie, Addie. Be rational. Like this: she was tired, confused, humiliated and so far out of her comfort zone she should probably be wearing an oxygen mask. All she needed was some recharge time, a good night’s sleep and a little space to sort through her emotions. Everything would be okay in the morning.
“See, I’m not that into women making the first move.”
“Oh.” So going into the wrong room and being humiliated had saved her from going into the right room and being humiliated. How nice.
“Yeah, I kind of thought we’d go off alone somewhere, like to a beach or something.” He patted her shoulder awkwardly. “Maybe have a few drinks...get to know each other again. Ease into it.”
Addie’s irritation vanished. Get to know each other again. Yes. Yes. She’d been going about this as a theatrical fantasy. Kevin was talking down-to-earth reality. It had been eleven years; they’d both changed and matured. They had a lot of catching up to do, many things to find out about each other as adults. He recognized that, while she’d been planning to jump him his first night here like a horny frat boy.
“Kevin, thank you.” Her relief was immense. Re-entry into the comfort zone complete. She covered his hand on her shoulder with hers. “I had put all this pressure on myself and was listening to other people instead of to my instinct and...basically trying to be someone I’m not cut out to be.”
“You should never do that, Addie. You want someone who loves you for who you are. You’re sweet and adorable. Part of what makes you so sexy is your innocence. You should never try to be anything else.”
Addie blinked. She took her hand off his and pulled Sarah’s sweater more tightly around herself. He was right about her. Of course he was. But she couldn’t help feeling the loss of that moment imagining herself as a wildly sexual seductress.
“Listen.” Kevin crossed the distance betwee
n them, took her in his arms for a long, comforting hug that—
Oh. Well, now she got the beer fumes. But under them, a nice sweet aftershave that she...pretty much liked. “You go to sleep now. Forget all this. Tomorrow we’ll take a walk or something and catch up, okay?”
“Yes.” She pressed her cheek against his shoulder. He understood her better than she’d understood herself. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful.”
“Aw, I’m just a normal guy, Addie.”
Exactly. And that’s what she needed and wanted. Her two previous long-term relationships had been solid and comfortable—not dull, but not a passionate thrill a minute, either. She wasn’t cut out for that much excitement. It would exhaust her.
“Good night, Addie.” Kevin brushed a kiss across her mouth. No wild sparks, just lovely comfort. Which was exactly what she needed just then. He was remarkable.
“Good night, Kevin. Thanks for saving me from myself.”
“No problem.” He grinned and stayed in front of his door, watching her descend the steps. At the bottom of the staircase, out of his sight, she heard him open the door to his room—on the left—then an odd high whimper, a squeak and a thud. Addie gasped and whirled to stare up into the blackness of the second floor. Had Kevin hurt himself?
A few seconds later, normal footsteps. Addie relaxed and continued into the living room. If he’d been injured, he’d have called her for help. She was not walking into any other guy’s room again on this vacation unless she was sure she was invited.
In fact, all she wanted to do was sneak into her room, and drop into a dead sleep.
She passed the glowing embers of the fire, used the bathroom and came back into the living room to stare out the window at the water. It was peaceful and contented tonight, reflecting the brightest stars in two glittering lines across its gentle waves.
So beautiful. So uncomplicated. She could learn a lot from an ocean.
At her room’s door, she stopped, put firm, careful pressure on the latch and eased the door open.
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