“I had some money set aside by my grandparents, and landed a loan with help from a guy I worked for as first mate for years.”
“He didn’t mind you were leaving?”
“He knew he had no choice.” Derek adjusted his head on the towel, expression fiercely proud. “He was a good guy. I enjoyed working for him. But I wanted to be boss. It’s in my blood I guess. All Bates boys are bossy.”
She loved the idea of him working hard, making his dream come true all by himself, becoming captain and owner of his own little kingdom. It was kind of a turn-on. But then calling something about Derek a turn-on was sort of like saying the sun was warm.
“It’s amazing what you’ve done. I admire you.”
“Oh.” He looked embarrassed, but in a way that told her he was pleased by her compliment. “Thanks.”
“It took courage and determination.”
“Hmm.” He sat up and squeezed her hand. “I think it was just what I wanted to do, so I did it.”
“But a lot of people don’t get to do what they want. Or can’t. Or are afraid to.”
“Yeah?” He studied her chin then planted a kiss in the perfect spot. “What would you do if you could?”
“Oh.” She cast her mind around, mortified not to come up with anything thrilling. Maybe she should invent something—skydiving or hiking Mount Everest. But when she looked into Derek’s serious brown eyes she couldn’t tell him a lie. Even a little one. She wanted this to be real for the short time they had. “I’m pretty contented, actually.”
“Hey, a lot of people can’t do that, either. So you’re just as remarkable.”
Addie rolled her eyes. “Nice try.”
He laughed and kissed her everywhere he could reach, teasing playful kisses that made her squeal and giggle like a silly schoolgirl.
Except she didn’t feel silly. She felt...fabulous.
“What do you say we go rinse off, Addie?”
Addie pretended to shudder. “In that water?”
“In our private pool.” He stood and held out his hand. “Which happens to be filled with that water, yeah.”
“Tell you what.” Addie was already getting to her feet. “You go, I’m outta here.”
She took off toward the path. He caught up to her in about three strides and snagged her around the waist. “Oops. Ocean’s the other way.”
“Help, help! Torture!” The word ended in a squeal as he picked her up and ran with her to the water. “So help me, Derek, if you dump me into that freezing—”
Of course he did. She found her feet, and lunged up, flung her arms around his neck and knocked him off balance so he fell in, too.
There. They were even. With a shout, he rocketed up out of the water as fast as she had, grabbed her hand and pulled her back out onto the shore and back to his towel where they sat absorbing the sun’s warmth, bodies glowing from the cold, lungs working to overcome the shock.
Addie had never had this much fun with a lover. Her first serious boyfriend, Todd, had been intense and bookish, a lovely sweet guy. Her second, Leo, had been a little sunnier maybe, but neither were the type who liked to play like this.
Addie apparently liked men who played. As long as they respected her in the morning.
“I suppose we should think about going back?” The minute she spoke, she regretted it. Practical, sensible Addie. Had she always been such a spoilsport?
“Yes, we should.” He frowned hard then his face cleared. “There, we thought about it.”
Addie burst into giggles. She was enjoying herself a ridiculous amount. And if he wanted to stay, then he must be feeling the same. “That’s settled, then?”
“At least until we get hungry.”
“Gosh. Now that you mention it...” She blinked at him sweetly, reclined onto her elbows and let her knees open slowly all the way to flat. “I’m getting hungry right now.”
“Addie Sewell. Beautiful, funny and a nymphomaniac.” He waggled his eyebrows and adopted a lounge lizard accent. “Now how much would you pay?”
“Oh, that is just nasty.” She pretended to struggle away from him, letting herself be overpowered of course. He grinned wickedly, then turned one-eighty and positioned himself with his hands on either side of her hips, his knees to one side of her head, his face...lowering.
Addie lay back blissfully, desire responding to his skill, noticing deeper intimacy with him this time, not only from their already having explored each other’s bodies, but from the joy of letting loose and being silly and childlike together. Two different kinds of vulnerability, both bringing them closer together.
She could fall for this guy.
Yes, yes, she knew it was too soon, way too soon. But everything about being with him felt so different from any relationship she’d—
Ooh. His fingers had joined his tongue. He was spoiling her. She reached over and pulled at his leg, wanting him to feel this good, too.
Derek understood, moving to kneel astride her head. Addie guided his penis into her mouth; he tasted clean and salty from the sea. She tried to vary the speed and pressure of her lips, listening to his breath hissing when she hit a rhythm or spot he really liked, but what he was doing to her at the same time made it very hard to focus on anything but her gathering frenzy for him.
Just when she was about to cry uncle, Derek pulled back, flicking gently with his tongue, then lowered his mouth and sucked firmly, pushing two fingers deep inside her.
She was lost. Her orgasm hit fast and intense from the beginning. Barely keeping herself under control, she fingered the shaft of Derek’s cock, keeping the rhythm going with her mouth at his tip, then reached under and past his balls to the hidden root of his penis.
He inhaled sharply, moaned and seconds later erupted, his muscles contracting, making the sexiest sounds of ecstasy she’d ever heard.
Oh, my.
She lay, blissful, panting, heart swollen and aching with all she felt. What they’d done was nothing she’d ever consider a loving or sweet act, and yet...that’s exactly how it had felt with him, each giving to the other. Derek turned around shakily and collapsed next to her, pulling her to him, cradling her head on his chest, nearly bringing tears to her eyes with his tenderness. The breeze had picked up, blowing cooler sweet air over them. The tide was coming in, waves rolling lazily toward them over the warm sand.
This was paradise.
“Addie.” He took her face in his hands. “You are incredible.”
Then he kissed her, differently from the way he’d kissed her before. Gently, reverently, over and over. Her heart swelled larger, dangerously so, that intense sweet ache in her chest told her she was in serious trouble over this man.
Could she fall for him?
Yes. That worry had been there since the night they watched the sunset together, Addie just hadn’t been able to admit it to herself.
After today, however, she had a brand-new worry. Not whether she’d fall for Derek Bates, but how far she already had.
10
“ARE YOU HUNGRY? For food this time?” Derek drew his hand down Addie’s firm stomach, over her pelvis, fingers brushing lightly through her curls. He could touch this woman all day long. In fact, he intended to.
“Actually, yes.” She turned to him, face rosy and bright. “I’ve been in denial, though, because I’m enjoying this so much I don’t want to go back up to the house.”
“What would you say if you found out I have a cooler up in the woods packed with lunch?”
“Hmm.” She bunched her mouth, thinking it over. “I guess I’d have to say you’re the world’s most perfect man.”
Derek laughed and got to his feet. “That’ll do.”
He climbed the small rise into the woods, heading toward the spot where he’d left the cooler. Around Addie he felt more
natural and relaxed than any woman he could remember being with. Something about her made him feel he didn’t have to hide any part of himself. He’d been playing a role so often on board Joie de Vivre that he’d apparently made it a habit to turn his real self off, turn on the charm and say only safe and appropriate things, acting with professional decorum at all times—even onshore to a certain extent—so that his clean and sober reputation stayed intact.
Something else was surfacing now, too, from deep in his subconscious, rising slowly, about to break through. He’d noticed it first around Paul and Ellen, who were constantly connecting with a look, a touch, a murmured word or two. They had a future of that special linkage ahead of them, years and years, for the rest of their lives. Watching them had made Derek aware of how much time he spent alone, even among people.
He couldn’t say he’d bonded deeply with anyone in his family, though of course he loved them all. At his first jobs at sea, he’d contented himself with “buddy” relationships with crew members, and there was always distance from his superiors—the same distance he kept now as captain. Paul had probably been his first substantive friendship. He’d had relationships now and then with women, but they’d always been secondary to his career, and never very consuming. With Addie, he felt truly connected.
He grabbed the cooler and jumped back down onto the warm sand, brought it over to her, feeling like a commoner proffering gifts to a queen.
No, that wasn’t right. She never made him feel common. She made him feel like a man worth loving.
It would be easy to qualify his feelings for Addie, saying they must only be superficial, that he and she had only known each other such a short time, yadda yadda, all the common sense stuff. But deep in his soul, where there existed only truth, he was getting the beginnings of a message so huge he was afraid of hearing it, afraid of dwelling on it, not sure if he was afraid it was true or afraid that it wasn’t.
Addie was The One.
Crazy talk. He was way, way ahead of himself.
“Here we go.” He plunked the cooler onto the sand and arranged the towel so they could sit together facing the water, then opened the lid. “Les sandwiches du jambon.”
“Good Lord, what have you made for me?”
“Ham sandwiches.”
Addie giggled. “So chic, Pierre.”
“Ain’t it?” He unwrapped a sandwich he’d made when he stopped into the main house for a lightning fast shower after chopping all that wood, and for condoms. It had occurred to him if his plan for Addie’s morning worked out he’d want to spend a lot of private time with her that afternoon as well, so lunch was a good idea. Paul and Ellen had nothing planned for the group until the rehearsal dinner that night. Many of the guests had decided to spend the afternoon on the mainland. They were free and clear until early evening.
“Thank you. It looks delicious.” She took the thick sandwich—of ham, cheese and cucumber slices on whole wheat bread, and a can of lemon-flavored sparkling water.
They ate for a while in comfortable silence, then Derek started smiling—he couldn’t help it. Addie had that adorable frown across her forehead, which he was starting to learn meant she was working something out in her mind.
“It’s funny,” she said eventually. “I almost didn’t want to come to this wedding.”
“Yeah?” A tiny shock jolted his chest, as if he was suffering the idea of never having met her. For crying out loud. She did come.
“Anything that promised to take me out of my comfortable everyday routine felt like a threat. It’s kind of scary to look back now and see how stuck I was. I hope I never go back to that.”
“You won’t if you don’t want to. And for the record, I’m very glad you came.” Understatement of the millennium. She’d already changed his life. From now on he wouldn’t settle for less than this remarkable level of affinity and of intimacy.
“Me, too.” She smiled at him, her dark eyes warm and a little shy, dimple sweet in her right cheek. His heart seemed to double in size, straining to get out of his chest. “Tell me more about your life as the big romantic yacht captain.”
“Ha.” He took a sip of water. “Nonstop fun and glamour.”
“I knew it!”
“Let’s see. Which would be more thrilling, talking about managing a hardworking, squabbling crew stuck in close quarters for weeks at a time, or discussing the hours spent charting courses and worrying about weather, or dealing with annoying entitled passengers, or managing the budget, or hey, I know, understanding the paperwork and health regulations required by different ports, rarely getting a day off...are you still awake?”
“Wow.” She chewed solemnly on a bite of sandwich. “I guess every job has its downside, huh. You still love it, though.”
“Most of the time, yeah.”
“There must be some glamorous parts to it.”
“There are.” He chased a bite of sandwich with water, realizing he’d been starving and glad he’d packed lots of food. Not only had he worked his body plenty today, he’d also been through an emotional Tilt-A-Whirl. “I’ve anchored at some of the most gorgeous spots in the world. Seen places I never would have dreamed of if I’d stayed in Massachusetts with my family.”
“Hmm.” Addie took another bite. Derek was intrigued. Usually this was where women sighed and batted their eyes and said they’d give anything to be able to come along on a trip, that it sounded so romantic. But Addie sat still, that slight frown creasing her forehead.
“It must be a lonely life.”
For about three seconds he sat, stunned and oddly moved. She was right. It was a lonely life. But not that many people—no one he’d met—had ever figured that out.
“It can be.” His voice had gone husky. He cleared his throat.
“It’s also not a life conducive to having a family or a home. Not in a traditional way anyway. So it must seem like there’s no real solution to loneliness.”
Derek took a last big bite of sandwich to delay answering. What was he going to say, You’re right. And quite honestly, I didn’t even consider marriage and kids until I met you the day before yesterday? It would be a great way to see her gorgeous rear—running away from him as fast as possible. He wouldn’t blame her.
What was happening to him? His career, his boat, they’d been everything to him his whole life, first as a dream, then a reality.
“I think I’d have to meet the right woman.” He wanted to roll his eyes at the cliché. “Well, obviously. I wouldn’t want to be with the wrong one.”
“No kidding.” She gestured with her sandwich. “You need to find someone who’d be fine on her own all the time. Raising kids with no help whatsoever.”
He did roll his eyes then. “Yeah, piece of cake, there are probably five or six on the planet.”
They laughed together, though a part deep inside him felt vulnerable and pained, like they were poking fun at something too personal. “What about you, you want the traditional marriage?”
“I...” She stopped, looking pensive. “Funny, I was going to say yes, immediately, but you know, I’m starting to question a lot of stuff about myself this weekend. Maybe I need to think about it. I definitely don’t want to be home alone raising kids, so...you know, just to spare you asking me.”
More laughter, strained this time, no, not too funny. Painful and vulnerable times two. “Tell me more.”
She tipped her head to one side, considering. “It’s funny, having been here, seeing Kevin, meeting you—this week is about Paul and Ellen’s wedding, but it’s also feeling like a crossroads for me, as if I’m coming to a place in life where I can choose to be different going forward.”
“Different how?”
“More adventurous. Taking more risks. Trying new things.”
He nodded and took a bite of sandwich to hide his reaction, whic
h was a fierce possessive need to drag her back to Hawaii and onto Joie de Vivre so she couldn’t try this new wildness out on anyone else.
The power of the feeling shocked him. Maybe this was a crossroads for him, too. The idea of leaving here, the camaraderie, the community and Addie, and sailing off with his crew and a bunch of strangers—the life he’d chosen, the life he’d worked so hard to be able to live—it was not appealing the same way it always had.
“What would you do? Take up skydiving? Start a career as a stripper?”
“Ha!” She made a face. “Not likely. I’m still me.”
“I like that about you.”
“Mmm, thanks.” She closed the space between them for a kiss. Maybe she intended it to be brief, but Derek had other ideas. Her mouth was warm and soft and tasted like lemon sparkling water. She was delicious. He cupped his hand around her head and held her close, kissing her until his desire started rising again. And by the whimper she gave, he knew the excitement was mutual.
What torture next week to be on his boat thinking about this woman and knowing he couldn’t hold her again. The Joie de Vivre had always been his ultimate refuge, his sanctuary, his kingdom. This woman could change all that. He wasn’t sure he liked her having that much power over him and his life. But he wasn’t sure he had a choice.
“Tell me the wild things you’d like to do,” he murmured.
“Hmm. Maybe I’ll take ballet.” She didn’t resist when he took her plate and put it on the sand then returned to kissing her, dragging her across his lap, wanting to keep her safely close to him. “I loved ballet when I was a girl. Maybe take that up again.”
“Mmm, Addie in a tutu. I like the idea.”
“Or maybe...” Her voice lowered and became slightly husky. She tipped her head to give him better access to the soft skin of her neck, tasting of salt, cocoa butter and Addie. “Maybe I’ll take an online lit class.”
Derek sucked in air, as if she was wildly arousing him. “A lit class. Addie I’m not sure how much more I can stand.”
“And...” Addie sat up and put her hand to his chest, her gaze smoldering. She pushed until he was forced to lie back on the towel, then she straddled him on her hands and knees. “Maybe I’ll learn French.”
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