by Ava Miles
She told him about the revelation she’d experienced when she finally finished crying, how she’d started to see that wild, crazy woman for who she was…herself. When she told him she’d decided to finally love that woman, that human part of her who hurt, he knew she’d turned a corner. More hope flooded his chest.
She turned their hands over until her engagement ring shone in the light again. “I have something to say…please don’t interrupt me.”
His chest squeezed as she looked straight into his eyes, the full force of her love for him shining in them again. He saw all the parts of her reflected in her gaze, the woman who could tease and joke and laugh, the woman who loved her family, the woman who loved him, and the woman who went crazy when the cold specter of destruction came knocking on her door.
“I, Natalie Hale, offer you, Blake Cunningham, my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad…”
Her voice broke.
Tears rained down his face as she renewed the pledge she’d made to him so long ago.
“In joy as well as in sorrow,” she continued, inhaling raggedly. “I promise to love you…unconditionally…even though I’ve failed so many times in the past…”
He pulled her head to his and rubbed their foreheads together in sweet agony.
“I promise…oh what’s next…to support you in your new career.” She sniffed. “ And to…ah…honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”
They both started crying then.
“I love you,” she whispered fiercely. “And I’m sorry—”
His mouth cut her off from finishing the rest of her declaration, and he traced an infinity symbol into her hand next to where her wedding ring lay.
And set them both free to love each other again for forever at last.
Chapter 37
Natalie poured herself into the kiss, imagining her love was as pure and warm and radiant as the yellow diamond Blake had chosen for her engagement ring. She stroked his face to soothe the hurt she’d caused and cried some more when she finally understood he was tracing the infinity symbol over and over again in her palm. She let their breaths merge to communicate how much she wanted to be joined with him again, how much she wanted infinity again.
Touchdown tunneled between them, his face pressing against her stomach. She edged back and looked into Blake’s eyes, needing to say the words he’d stopped her from saying moments before. After everything she’d put him through, put them through, he deserved them.
“Blake?” she asked, her voice soft.
His head tilted to the side as he gazed at her, simply gazed at her. “Yeah, babe.”
“Will you marry me…again?”
The muscles of his face bunched up like he was going to cry, and his jaw locked as he took a moment to answer. “You know I will.”
When he picked up her engagement ring, she extended her left hand to him. His eyes shining, he slid the ring onto her finger and then brought it to his mouth to kiss it. She let out a shaky laugh.
“Now, we need yours,” she said.
This time he was the one who let out a shaky laugh. “Shit, you aren’t going to believe this. I…ah…left it back at the house in Dare. I thought…”
He didn’t need to finish that sentence. She knew what he’d thought.
“Then we can go get it when we head back there,” she said, ducking her head. “That is…if you’re willing to go. I need to get back so I can go to the doctor with my mom tomorrow. I was hoping…you might come.”
He traced infinity over her engagement ring. “You know I will.”
She glanced down at their hands. “Blake…I know what you’ve given up for me, and it…overwhelms me sometimes. In the best way possible.” Crap, she was crying again. “I realized tonight that I’ll go anywhere with you. I don’t want you to have to make something work in Dare Valley. I want you to have your dream job. I can find another dream job or open another business. I can help Mac and Terrance find a replacement.”
It would be hard to leave Dare Valley again, but she wanted to support him after everything he’d done for her. She wanted him to understand that she would do for him the things he had already done for her, that she wasn’t going to step back from him like she had earlier tonight.
“And what about your family?” he asked.
Her shoulder lifted, in contrast to the hurt his question caused. “I can visit them, just like you visit yours.”
“That’s not the kind of life I want for our kids,” he said, his voice like sandpaper now. “They should have cousins to play with…and aunts and uncles to dote on them.”
She jolted in surprise at his words, and their gazes locked. Kids. Hearing him share his vision after she’d used children as a sword to sever their remaining bonds of matrimony reduced her to tears. God, she couldn’t seem to stop crying now that she’d started.
“And let’s not forget about your mom. She’ll be a great grandma.”
That did it. Hearing him talk about her mom and the future broke her, it simply broke her. He brought her to his chest, her sobs a renewed torrent from deep inside her.
“I’m so scared for her,” she whispered against his hard frame.
“I am too,” he said against her ear. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it together. And we’ll be there for her.”
She nodded. “On the way here I realized I have more…healing to do. About Kim. About this thing with my mom. About running from my emotions. I’m going to see a grief counselor. I don’t want to do that to myself—or you—ever again.”
“How about we both go? God knows, I have grief too, and that’s what partners do. They share their pain.”
She raised her head to look at him. His eyes were as puffy as hers had to be. He wasn’t having the best hair day either. But he was so beautiful. She didn’t ever want to look away again, push him away ever again. Her fingertips traced his face.
“I love you. Do you have any idea how much?”
His throat moved. “I love you too, and God, after all this, I hope you know how much.”
They’d reached the moment where words faded, where the mind stopped. She stood on shaky legs and extended her left hand to him, the diamond shining like a yellow star in the night sky.
He clasped their hands together, and she led him out of the gym. Together, they traveled through this house they’d shared. Her eyes latched onto the familiar surroundings. The bold art they’d chosen from Denver’s galleries still hung on the walls. As they crested the top of the stairs, her heart simply cried out, unable to help itself. The same wedding picture she’d stowed in her hope chest was displayed on the mahogany wall curio.
She tried to imagine the fortitude he possessed to keep that picture there, to see it day after day. Biting her lip did no good. Fresh tears streamed down her face. They continued to flow as she stepped into their bedroom with him. He hadn’t changed a thing. Her lavender lotion was still on her bedside stand along with the sticky notes she kept next to the bed for when she had an idea about a catering job.
Her breath simply evaporated in her lungs, and she wheezed. “You kept…everything?”
“I took everything out of storage and put it back when…I decided to go to Dare Valley and get you back.” He lifted his hand to rub away the tears falling from his face. “How could I get rid of everything? It would be like…getting rid of you.”
Oh, my. She hadn’t truly understood until this moment how much she loved him, how much he loved her. Like a man tending to a special storehouse, he’d kept their marital treasures in one place, waiting for her to come home.
She unlinked their hands so she could remove her clothes. No barriers could be between them. Not anymore. His gaze held hers as he did the same. When they stood before each other, it was as if their Eden had been renewed, their garden of paradise rediscovered after being lost. They reached for each other at the same time.
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When their mouths met, she surrendered to the sense of wonder, the sacredness of touching him, and allowed him to touch her without holding anything back. She didn’t stop the moans from spilling from her mouth as she raised his hands to her breasts, giving him back the full and complete promise of her love.
He stroked her with a gentleness that brought back all the warmth inside her. She cuddled closer as she caressed his body, the ridges and edges of his muscles, with something akin to cherishing. Told him with her touch that she’d never again take for granted what they had together.
His body flowed with hers onto the bed. Their mouths joined in a deep, heated kiss. Passion carried her to a new shore, and she guided him on top of her as the force of their love washed over her. And when they could no longer wait to join together, she looked into his eyes and slowly took him inside her without any barriers between them.
There was only a slight change in the shape of his eyes as he met her gaze with something akin to wonder, but she knew he understood what she was saying. She said it aloud anyway.
“Make a baby with me,” she whispered.
He clutched her hands as he slid deep into her, and she gave herself up to the new bridge between their bodies and souls.
Chapter 38
Blake sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, ignoring the curious glances of the people around him. No one had asked for his autograph, thank God. He’d never snapped at a fan, but today his nerves were stretched to the max as he thought of what was going on in one of the examining rooms.
The most recent copy of Sports Illustrated lay idle in his hands, open to an article on the upcoming NFL season. He used his thumb to rub the wedding band on his ring finger. As soon as he and Natalie had arrived back in Dare Valley, she’d insisted they immediately retrieve it. But she hadn’t simply let him put it on. No, she’d dragged him out to the bridge he’d built to their better life and put it on his finger there, tracing infinity symbols all over his hand.
The door opened, and he straightened in his seat. Natalie had her arms around April, who gave him a brave smile as he rose and walked over to them.
“The doctor said they should have the results in a day or so,” Natalie said as they all left the building.
He knew how long a day or so could feel under these circumstances. A fucking eternity.
“It wasn’t that bad,” April added.
Since Natalie’s free hand was fisted by her side, he knew it hadn’t been easy for April. Everything Natalie had learned about being a tough guy had come from her parents. He hoped her mom could learn to be a little kinder to the part of herself that must be scared and hurting—just like her daughter had.
He drove them back to April’s house, where Natalie had to press her mom to let them come inside. She helped her get settled on the couch and then made her some tea. After one cup, April told them they could go home. Ellen O’Brien was going to come over later. Natalie ignored her and opened the refrigerator to look for fixings for dinner.
Together he and Natalie peeled potatoes, and standing next to her, he could feel it—they were a unit once more, just like the figure eights engraved into their bands, only this time they were stronger than they’d been, like metal re-shaped by fire.
No one ate much of the mashed potatoes, pork chops, and roasted beet chips Natalie had served. But that hadn’t been the point. When April finally said she wanted to go to bed, she refused to let Natalie stay and turned to Blake.
“Please take my daughter home now,” she said. “I want…to be alone for a while.”
He and Natalie shared a look before his soon-to-be-wife for the second time nodded in defeat. After they both kissed April goodnight, he took Natalie’s hand and led her toward the car. He opened her door, and when he came around and got in himself, she had her hand pressed to her mouth, tears streaming down her face. She hadn’t cried in front of her mom.
His heart twisted in his chest.
“I hate seeing her like this.” Then she turned her head. “Was I like this?”
They’d promised to always be honest with each other now. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and wrapped her arms around herself.
When they returned to her house, she let him comfort her again, let him see the part of her that was wild and scared and hurting. He held her, rocked her—feeling that familiar helplessness of knowing he couldn’t fix her pain.
She didn’t go to work the next day in case the doctor called. Natalie had made his nurse promise to alert her when he had the results so she could drive to April’s house and join her for the call.
To pass the time, Blake and Natalie sat together in the sunlight and talked about their living arrangements. They agreed to keep the house in Denver for when Blake wanted to head back for a Raiders game or for them to visit friends and family. And they decided to build a new house together in Dare Valley, one they both loved. In the meantime, they would live in the one she’d bought from her brother. The other one—the one he’d bought—could be resold. He still insisted on fashioning his new career in Dare Valley, and Natalie had finally agreed to trust him all the way. He’d meant every word he’d said about raising their children in Dare Valley around family.
The call from the nurse came the next morning, and he drove them to April’s house with icy dread lining his belly, praying the whole way. Please let her be okay. Please let the test be negative.
April opened the door like a brave soldier and barely allowed either one of them to hug her. The doctor’s call came shortly after they arrived, and Natalie put it on speaker for everyone to hear.
“Mrs. Hale,” the doctor said in a serious voice, one that gave nothing away.
“Yes, I’m here,” she responded in a stiff tone.
“I’m happy to report your biopsy came back negative. The cyst is benign. You don’t have cancer.”
Blake let out his breath and pulled them both into his arms.
“Oh, thank God,” April said.
“Yes!” Natalie yelled. “Yes!”
After a perfunctory signoff with the doctor, Blake lifted them up and spun them around. When he put them down, they fell onto each other, their arms gripping each other tightly.
And while April didn’t cry as much as Natalie, she cried too. He watched them both with a sheen of tears in his eyes.
When everyone was calmer, he extended his arms to them. “Okay, this calls for a celebration.” Life deserved to be celebrated—especially after a close call to the abyss. “What should we do? Go out for champagne and dinner at High Stakes?”
“How about we invite my sons and grandson over for dinner?” April suggested, picking up her phone.
“Are you going to tell them what happened?” Natalie asked.
“Don’t you want me to?” April responded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Yes, I want you to. I don’t want to keep this from them. And I want you to call Moira and Caroline too.”
Her mom nodded. “I can call the girls when the boys arrive so they can all hear the news together. Blake, would you be able to take Danny outside and keep him occupied? I don’t want to upset him.”
No, the five-year-old didn’t need to know about this. “Of course, April.”
April’s boys showed up with searching glances. They must have sensed something was wrong over the phone because their eyes were wide with worry. Jane gripped Matt’s hand in comfort. They were expecting bad news to come from this last-minute dinner invitation.
“Uncle Blake,” Danny said, tugging on his pant leg. “Are you living with Aunt Natalie again?”
He looked over at Natalie to confirm his answer. “Yes, we’re going to renew our vows pretty soon. Wanna come?”
He’d insisted they refer to their ceremony as renewing their vows. She’d played along.
“Of course,” Danny said as Blake lifted him into his arms. “But what’s ‘vows?’”
He laughed. “How about I tell you
in the backyard? We can grab a football from the garage, and you can show me how far you can throw it.”
Andy’s shoulders were rigid with tension, but he managed a smile. “I’m glad to hear you’re renewing your vows. We’ll be there.”
“With bells on,” Matt added, his mouth grim.
“Good.” Blake nodded at Natalie. “Danny and I will go find the football and play some catch.”
Once they were outside, Danny chattered away, asking him question after question as he attempted to divide his attention between the boy and the scene inside. The windows revealed the group to him, the bowed heads and then the lingering embraces.
When Andy finally stepped outside and walked over to him, Blake’s gut clenched at the grief ravaging the man’s face. Like he would have done with one of his guys, he stepped forward and gave Andy a hug. The man gripped him and then pounded him on the back.
When they broke apart, Andy knuckled away the tears in his eyes. “Thanks.”
“You looked like you needed it.”
“You have no idea.”
“Dad. Why are you hugging Uncle Blake and crying?”
Andy took off in a perfect thirty degree angle, and Blake threw him the pass. He caught it perfectly over his shoulder and turned around. “I was telling him I missed him and welcoming him back to the family.”
Blake understood brotherly love. He’d felt it for his Once Upon A Dare guys and his teammates. He’d felt it for Adam. And he’d felt it from the first moment he’d met the Hale boys.
“I missed you guys too.” There was a catch in his voice.
Andy nodded. “Danny! Watch Daddy catch this one.”
This time he ran a slant route, and Blake hit him on the fly so he could snag it before he ended up in April’s bushes.
Matt came out with Jane and joined in. His fiancée didn’t know how to catch a football, least of all throw one, so they clustered around her, insisting she had to learn. When Natalie emerged with April, she gave him a brave smile.
He tipped up his chin in greeting, feeling the love between them grow, the one made stronger by her family—and possibly the baby they’d made already growing cell by cell in her belly.