Didn’t I deserve happiness?
No, you had him. Guilt washed through me. The crux of my problem—guilt. I lived and he didn’t, and worse, in weak moments like this, I questioned the depth of our love. We loved each other. It hadn’t been like my parents’ affectionate love or the wild chemistry between Joe and me, but a quiet kind of love. Right?
The late afternoon sun beat down on my bare shoulders and the scent of freshly mowed grass wiped away my worries. The city was behind us, and the rolling hills of Oklahoma zipped past. Joe sped down the road faster and faster until I tightened my grip even as a smile spread across my face. Freedom coursed through my veins, pumping up my spirit. It had taken a serious hit after the attack. I’d wanted to flee and never look back, but when that became a real possibility, it wasn’t so attractive. My life wasn’t glamorous or all that vital these days, but dammit it was mine and I wanted to keep it. Keep my family. Keep my career. Keep Joe.
Where had that thought come from? I banished it and basked in the ride, letting it blow away my worries. Thoughts intruded but I turned them away—living in the moment was harder than I’d imagined. I did my best to keep the sexy biker in front of me out of my thoughts. He seriously messed with the zen I tried to achieve.
But as miles rolled by, it became easier to just be here with the sun and speed as my closest companions. Joe and I stopped for dinner in some small town.
“Time for grub.” He stared at me a long moment. “Riding agrees with you.” Then he walked past me into the diner. I stood there a moment before following him inside to the booth in back where he sat with his back to the wall. Was he always so cautious?
Before I’d opened the menu, a waitress sashayed over to us. She was barely twenty and had eyes for Joe.
“What can I get you?” She batted long eyelashes at Joe and ignored me.
I wasn’t jealous, not a bit, but I didn’t like being ignored either.
“Darling, what’s your specialty?” Joe’s eyes skimmed down her. Combined with his words, the virgin Mary would know he was flirting. Insufferable man.
The girl blushed a pink hue before grinning wider. “I like Italian.”
“On the menu?” I interrupted, unable to stand another second of this pickup. What was he going to do? Take her against the back of the building? I blew out a disgusted huff. Men were idiots.
“It’s all good. I’d recommend a salad for you.” She smiled sweetly in my direction.
Did that little bimbo just call me fat?
Joe wiped a hand over his mouth to cover his smile. “Charlie, you order first? You’ll need lots of fuel for our ride home.” Somehow he imbued those words with naughty innuendo. How’d he do it?
“Give me a double cheeseburger and fries with a Coke.” I glared up at the waitress, daring her to say another word.
Her lips flattened and she nodded, writing down my order.
“Make that two.” He glanced briefly at the waitress before focusing on me. “Charlie’s got the best ideas.” He winked at me.
Now I turned red. The waitress stormed away and I met Joe’s challenging gaze.
“You ruined her day.” I glanced toward the waitress.
“Only one of me, and I’m all yours.”
“How’d I get so lucky?” I rolled my eyes at his flirting.
“You’re on my bike.” He wasn’t playing now.
“Okay.” I didn’t understand that bit. “What’d you tell Johnny today? He’s the most overprotective of the bunch.” I needed to change the subject, get away from this flirty Joe. I liked him way too much.
“The truth.” He lifted a shoulder.
The waitress set down our drinks and flounced away. She had some serious attitude.
“What truth?”
“That we stop Mickey here or you go into witness protection.” He gave me a half smile. “Your family loves you very much. They want to keep you close.”
True. My family had been my rock after Jensen died. Their love had helped me start to heal. Something flitted across Joe’s face, pain and more. Did he have a family? Had he lost family?
“Do you have brothers and sisters to pester you?” As much as I loved my brothers, they were huge pains in my ass.
“Not anymore.” His clipped response gave no room for more questions, but the sadness in his eyes made me want to.
“That sounds final.” I fished for more information, knowing I shouldn’t.
“So where are we going out tonight?” He gave me his sexy smile.
Surprised, I frowned up at him. I hadn’t planned to go anywhere. “Home.” I made it a question.
“Bait doesn’t sit at home. Let’s go dancing.” He grinned at me. “I love to dance.”
“Uh, I don’t remember the last time...” Dancing wasn’t my thing, never had been. In truth I wasn’t great at it, and worse, I knew it.
“Then it’s settled, a low-key club later tonight.” He moved his hands back from the table as the waitress set our identical orders down and left without a word.
“I don’t even know where any clubs are.” I hadn’t actually agreed.
“I do. I love dancing—nothing better than a night on the town to blow away the dust.” He grinned. “Work hard, play harder.”
“Now that sounds like a biker.”
“How do you know what we sound like?” He bit into the huge burger.
I flinched at his rebuke and focused on my burger. I wasn’t sure how I’d get my mouth around the monstrosity, but I’d manage because the aroma was too tempting, just like the man across from me. I’d rather take a bite from him.
Not possible, not ever happening, I reminded myself for the hundredth time today. Despite the repetition, the message wouldn’t stick. Instead my fantasies grew with each mile until I wasn’t sure I could resist. Sitting here across from him, I wasn’t sure why I even tried.
“So educate me.” I needed to understand him better if we ended up—I refused to finish that thought.
“About?” He doused his fry with ketchup before popping the whole thing in his mouth.
“The Brotherhood.” I trusted him with my life, but my heart, not so much. And my reputation? Not at all.
He pointed another fry at me. “You count on your brothers in blue to have your back, yet fear losing their respect.” His perceptive eyes read my darkest worries. “Would your family ever turn away from you?”
I shook my head. “Never.”
“What if you killed someone?”
“They’d stand beside me because they’d know I had no choice—we love each other, share the same identity.” I’d always loved the safety of my family. Unfortunately the rest of the world wasn’t that safe or reliable.
Jensen had weighed my every action, and I wasn’t sure I measured up to his high standards. The same was true in the department. Being a woman detective, hell a woman cop period, caused others to second-guess my actions. I’d seen what happened to cops, especially women, who didn’t toe the blue line. They were shunned in silent animosity, sliced with a thousand tiny cuts. My stomach rolled at the idea of becoming one of them.
“But then, they raised you. You share their values.” He cocked his head to the side.
“Yeah, that’s where the unconditional love comes from. They made me in all the ways that matter.” And that acceptance meant everything to me.
He nodded. “The club is unconditional loyalty. You for the club, the club for you. Every member has your back every minute. No questions, no bullshit. They do it because you’d do it for them.”
A fantasy world—no way that happened in real life. “Right.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“Clubs kick out members. What you describe...can’t be real.” I’d found that with my family but many people never had that kind of back up. And cults and other extreme group
s preyed on those who sought it.
“Yeah. You break loyalty...go against the club, our brothers...that’s the only way anyone is forced out.” He leaned forward, his food forgotten. “No one cares who I fuck, what I do at home, or even considers if they like me—we stand for each other.” His hand covered mine.
“I heard you guys had a rough patch, changed leadership, lost members. What about this famed brotherhood?” I pulled my hand away and took a bite of burger with all its juicy flavors combining in the perfect way.
“We did, some rotten shoots had grown up in the club, broke the bond. One was my old boss, and honestly, there was a time I doubted the truth of what I told you.” He glanced down at his hands. “Romeo had tainted the security business with his greed. But he’s gone. Others are gone too. We’re stronger for it. Jericho, my prez, might be a bastard, but he’s true and loyal. It just flows out from there and others see it. We have to turn away men who want to be part of what we have.” His words rang with an undeniable truth.
“So they’ve replaced your family?”
“Not everyone’s as lucky as you. But I am. And you’re alive because of the Brotherhood.”
“True.” I focused on my food, uncomfortable with the debt I owed Joe and the club. They’d never call that marker, I believed Joe. He’d wanted to protect me and they agreed. I shifted in my seat as the one question I couldn’t ignore resurfaced. Why did Joe want to protect me? He’d done so before I knew I needed it. When most would run the opposite way, he’d stayed by my side.
My mind whispered possibilities. He cares for you. Wants you. A darker side of my conscience had a different idea. He wants to use you, to turn you into their pawn—the kind of cop Jensen hated.
There had to be a reason. I tried to ignore the thoughts and focus on now. On Joe. His almost black eyes stared at me with the deep curiosity I’d seen before.
“What are you thinking?” He had almost finished his sandwich and mine was less than half gone.
“About why you decided to be my guardian angel?”
“Darling, I’m no angel.”
“I guess it depends on the view.”
A heavy silence settled between us. Neither of us wanted to share our thoughts, but no flirting gambit would work when we were weighed down with our own secrets. We finished our food in a few minutes and left the diner.
All the way home I thought about his Brotherhood. When Joe spoke about his club, I imagined noble warriors instead of ex-cons and outlaws society had given up on. Which was the truth? Or did one exclude the other? Could they be both?
The sun sat on the horizon line by the time we entered Oklahoma City limits. When we stopped at the garage, a melancholy settled on me. I wasn’t up for dancing.
* * *
Three hours later I stood in my bedroom in a slinky black dress cursing Joe’s persuasive skills. He refused to relent, so I had. The dress hugged my curves but flowed down to my knees, giving cover to my thigh holster. I carried a spare gun in my purse, but still I felt exposed. I’d lost against Franco dressed in functional cop wear, how would I survive in this flimsy dress and wedged heels? Maybe I should go for flats. Hiking boots?
“Let’s go.” Joe barged into the room.
“Hey, buster.” I scowled at him. “I could’ve been naked.”
“Then it would’ve been my lucky day.” His boyish grin dissolved my anger. I could forgive a lot if he gave me that particular smile. “Damn, you look good.” The seductive purr of his voice made my lady parts wake up. They definitely wanted to say a personal hello to Joe’s parts.
He clasped my hand from behind and spun me toward him. My eyes went wide as I landed in his arms, pressed so close to his chest I felt the hard ridges of his muscles. He smelled of leather and man—I wanted to lick the pulse point on his neck, each beat a seductive invitation.
As if reading my mind, he nuzzled my neck. “Hmm, I love your perfume.” His lips brushed up the sweep of my neck. I’d arranged my hair in a messy pile at the top of my head. It was cute, maybe sexy, and cool. We hadn’t left my bedroom and already I burned for him.
My bedroom.
We had to leave before I relented and took him to bed. I sidestepped, then hurried toward the door. “Let’s go. Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
His eyes lost focus and he sucked in a breath. “You have a better offer?”
“Uh, no.” I gulped and retreated before the rebellious part of me piped up, Yes, please take me to bed.
We made it to the SUV and out the driveway without any more tempting word play. My pulse pounded and heat coursed through me. I was hot and bothered, and we hadn’t made it to the dance floor. It’d been too long since I’d experienced the cocktail of physical sensations that intense desire created. My brain liked the pleasure and I was acting more like a horny teen than an almost-thirty-year-old cop.
We left the suburban neighborhood, heading downtown for the trendy party of the city, Bricktown. I’d only been here a couple times, it wasn’t really Jensen’s scene. He’d preferred to stay away from the area since our black-and-whites ended up breaking up fights in the new entertainment district almost every weekend.
Joe cut through one of the less desirable neighborhoods in midtown instead of taking the interstate across town. We hadn’t made it two blocks into the neighborhood when headlights beamed bright in the rear window. Joe executed three quick right turns and the tail stayed behind us.
He sped up.
I lifted my skirt and released the catch on my thigh holder, pulling the Beretta from the sheath. I tried to calm my racing breathing.
“Fuck,” Joe cursed.
I glanced up. An old beater of a truck blocked our forward escape, and the unknown vehicle was right on our bumper. Nowhere to go. What would happen?
Execution-style kill? How would we escape? Unease made me shaky as I slipped off the safety and loaded a round into the chamber.
“What’s the plan?” I didn’t look his way. Two figures walked toward us.
“Shoot and I’ll drive.” He jerked the vehicle into Reverse.
I pushed the button and the window whirred down. I aimed and shot—no warnings tonight—at the silhouette of a man. Dark shrouded everything in a terrifying shadow world.
Three other shadows moved and a muffled “fuck” sounded from one of them. I shot again, again, squeezing off slow steady strikes, trying to distinguish trees from the men who escaped the bright lights of our headlights and hid in the dark. Calmness settled inside me because I’d trained for this. I was in control.
“I’m shot. Shit!” They didn’t sound like professionals. “Puta, I’ll make you sorry!”
So, gang help. The SUV jerked back then Joe dropped it into Drive and veered up into the closest yard around cars on the street and out a driveway past the truck.
I squeezed off three more shots before we left them behind us. I lowered my gun to my lap, sucking in lungfuls of air. Joe sped through the neighborhood and hit the interstate as soon as he could. He drove like we were pursued by demons, weaving in and out of traffic like a madman.
“We’ve lost them.” I didn’t understand why he drove so fast.
“I’m getting new wheels. Drive this to that Target two exits south of the airport and wait for me.”
“What? Why?” Adrenaline sped through me, making my reactions quick and brain slow.
“The SUV, it’s compromised with trackers, something. No other explanation.”
Of course. How else would they have found us in that particular place? We’d have noticed anyone following us out of my quiet neighborhood.
The car veered to the right and cut across two lanes of traffic to the exit for the airport. Joe grinned wide as he bumped across the airport access road and into the Thrifty lot.
“You enjoy this?”
“Hell yeah, we won. That makes
our team two and Franco zero.” He pulled to a stop at the front door of the building. “You go straight to the Target. I’ll be there in a minute.” He winked and was gone.
I slid across the bench seat into the driver’s seat and drove away, glancing in my side mirrors and then back to the rear view. No one followed me, but then I wouldn’t necessarily see them if they were. Chill bumps raced up my arms.
In ten minutes, I pulled in under a bright overhead light in the parking lot. Then I waited. Seconds ticked by, but it felt like hours. Exposed in a marked vehicle, I considered going inside, but that was ridiculous. I had more freedom behind the wheel of the SUV than in a store.
Our team two and Franco zero. A game? Not even close. If Franco scored once, then I’d be dead. A jumpy kind of nervousness settled in my middle, making my breathing shallow and stomach tight. I understood danger and had been trained to face it. But that wasn’t my situation. They tracked me, hunted me, trying damn hard to kill me. Nothing like what I’d been trained for. I hated the courage-eating fear that tried to consume me.
The night before I’d been too shook up to register anything, but now I started to understand. I was way out of my league. Maybe I should go to the FBI—they had resources, safe houses and an army of agents. I didn’t even know why Joe stayed with me. He might desert me, decide this was too deadly, and then where would I be?
Dead. No doubt about it.
Even if Joe wanted to protect me, I couldn’t continue to put him in this kind of danger. He was a stranger, a civilian stranger—I’d been crazy to agree to his half-baked plan.
Headlights came down my row. My heart pounded so loud I couldn’t hear anything else. Mouth dry, I swallowed twice, but it didn’t help. I scooted low in my seat, but if it was the mob, they knew the car was here and as soon as they looked in the window, hide-and-seek would be over. I’d lose everything.
I worked to shove the rising terror down and grabbed my gun. My phone pinged. I glanced over.
Two words. It’s me with Marcone in bold above it.
A woosh of pent-up breath escaped and I engaged the safety on my gun. I was safe.
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