I look down and shuffle my papers on my desk pretending to be busy, hoping Robert would get the hint.
“It’s Friday. I’ve got plenty of contracts to go through. I have to read and sign these papers,” I motion to the stack on my desk. “I don’t know. I promised Alex that I would get home early.” I just told him a lie and I hope he stops pestering me. I can’t afford to let him go, though. I depend on him because of my work load and I feel I can trust him. Where is Jonas when I need him? “Look Robert, I’ll let you know about eight.” Another lie.
“You know I can stay if you want to be home with your family.” I look up and smile. I know he’s trying to make my life a little easier. I guess I have to trust someone but that isn’t my best suit, trusting outside people.
“I can take a few minutes. How about eight? I should be ready then.”
I was hoping he’d say it was too late to go out. “Hell yeah, eight o’clock is good. This town doesn’t start rocking until about eleven. Maybe we can have something to drink and eat first. Then we can get down to the business of having fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you Blackstone?”
He looked at me and I gave him a dry smile, lips closed. I’m sure the word no is foreign to him. That was probably why I hired him. A persistent bastard. I remember it was at Jonas’s insistence. Since when do I take Jonas’s advice?
“You must have taken the F out of fun, Blackstone, but I’m here to put it back,” Robert said with a sly grin lighting up his eyes.
“Ok. Fine. Just get the fuck out of here and let me get some work done. Don’t you have something to do?” I asked.
“Yeah. Yeah.” And he backed out of the office, rubbing his hand on the Blackstone bust of my father setting in the corner of my office.
He thought of his grandfather and how he had taken the name of Blackstone from a black rock used to sculpture famous figures. His grandfather had been an orphaned from England and brought out west. It was there he made his fortune and it was there his father died. Max felt loneliness creep over him. All he had now was his sons, Alex, and his brother Jonas.
Nothing matter to him now. Not his money or land, only them.
I’ve tried to be everything that Alex wanted. I know she’s everything I have hoped for. We have our sons and I should be satisfied. I fear I am falling into my old ways. I need to make an appointment to see my therapist. I can’t concentrate on my work and since Jonas has disappeared again, and Charles revealed that Jonas had been masquerading as me in my business meetings, I can’t seem to get into the rhythm of my work. I didn’t appreciate Jonas at the time. Now I wish he was around to help me and watch over my family.
Someone’s knocking. “Max, I thought you would need a break. Let’s get a drink and something to eat, it’s lunch time.”
Robert is relentless, pestering me trying to make friends. I’m his employer not his friend. I haven’t had a friend since I was in grade school. I don’t need friends.
“You look like you could use a drink and a good fucking.”
“Can we just talk about something else?”
“Whoa. OK.” He said holding his hands up.
“I’ll have one drink and then I’m going home. My wife and children are waiting for me.”
I hate living in New York. I like space and I like to fish and ride my horses at my ranch in Montana, disappear into the woods, and camp for a week.
I glance up at Robert, maybe I see myself. I don’t have to say much my face says it all.
“The women like me,” he says reading my expressive face, straightening his tie and twisting his heavy watch around his arm. “The flasher the better. That shit you have on all that black would attract only Dracula’s bride.” And he tugged at his collar. “The white shirt is ok but lose the dark clothes.”
“I didn’t hire you as a clothing consultant. Besides I’m your boss. I dress for success.”
“Well, I dress for pussy. Had any lately?” I raise an eyebrow and he knows he has stepped over the line. If I didn’t need him, I would fire him.
Talking to Robert was a waste of time. I needed some exercise and I agreed to leave the comforts of my building, walk down the street with this cock hound and stop in at a bar. I thought it would be one where you find only men watching sports. I should have known.
We entered the stylish bar, with mirrors, mahogany wood, and women wall to wall gazing with dazzling smiles, and wearing tight low cut dresses. We sat at a table and women passing on their way to the ladies’ room would smile at him, and drop their cards on the table. The waitress’s wearing extremely short skirts knew him well, and I’m sure in the biblical sense.
“See Blackstone. The women love me. A man like you with his billions, and handsome, and not getting enough pussy from his wife, would be a god around here or anywhere.”
“Well said for a single man but ...”
“Yeah, Yeah. Save the shit for your wife,” he said to me. I downed a Scotch over rocks and two more to calm me, and keep me from firing him. After a few more drinks, and trying to keep my cool with Robert, I was disgustingly drunk. I talked too much about my life, and I knew it was time to go home.
“I’m leaving. My limo is waiting for me,” I said to Robert.
“You look drunk as a skunk, two sheets to the wind. I’m riding with you. I can’t drive.” Robert’s from Pennsylvania, he came back to New York after spending time in Texas. He came back and Jonas hired him. I can imagine where he met Jonas. Jonas was probably impersonating me in one of his BDSM clubs, and using my money to support his habits.
We had been bar hopping around New York since one o’clock, and when I looked up it was eight p.m.
Trying to make my way out of the crowded bar to my limo, Robert caught sight of me and ran after me. I had plans to have dinner with my wife and sons at seven, which he managed to derail. I thought I could just go for one drink. I went with him because he’s my best attorney. I send him all the places that I can’t go since I married.
I called my driver to tell him that I was ready. “Here, I can help,” Robert said holding my arm realizing that I was drunk.
I glared at him. He’s my age, and good-looking. Dark straight hair and startling blue eyes. I’ve never seen him with a woman and he never talks about one particular one. A man’s sexual preferences is none of my concern as long as he does the job.
I did a background check on him and everything turned out perfect. He came from a small town in Pennsylvania, moved to a small town in Texas got his BA there, went on to graduate from Harvard Law at the top of his class. He made a fortune during the housing and banking crisis.
Finances in order. Clothes expensive, a bit over the top sometimes but not exceptionally so. He has a mother and father and a younger sister. Nothing about him would raise a red flag, so I gave him an apartment in my building as part of his package.
He had been working for me for two years and in that time I’ve never invited him out or to my home for dinner.
His conversations are all about women every time I see him. He even asked when he could meet Alex. That’s when I knew that he wasn’t gay. Anyone who saw Alex would remark how lucky I am. I caught him staring at her picture one day and then he would smile and say that he wished he could find someone as understanding and beautiful as Alex. Whereas I remarked that there was none like her.
“Let’s go Blackstone.” The limo set parked out front. We climbed in and had a brief conversation about my children, Maxim and Jack.
“There’s this private club that terrific we should go there.” I looked at him too drunk to reject his idea. “You won’t be disappointed.” I raised an eyebrow. I never enjoyed socializing with anyone who worked for me unless it was something I wanted from them or they were of a particular use to me.
“Don’t worry it’s discreet,” he said grinning at me.
“All you have to do is relax and enjoy yourself. I’ve arranged everything.”
“It’s not that, Robert. You know I’m a
married man.”
“But you’re not dead,” he said.
“I will be if my wife finds out about this.”
“Trust me she won’t find out anything.” Robert handed my driver an address. It was located off Park Avenue. “We can park in the private garage.”
My limo took a hard left and Robert opened the garage door. The car came to a stop in garage space 1905. We exited the car and my head began to swirl and I stumbled. “Whoa,” I said. I think I had too much to drink. I’d better get home.”
“No. You’re not leaving me. Everyone’s expecting you.” He put my arm around his neck and helped me into the elevator. I glanced at him. He had drank as much as I did but he’s on his feet and I can barely walk.
“Who is everyone?” I asked puzzled.
“A few friends. They mentioned that they had seen a picture of you in the papers, so I couldn’t help but brag about you being my boss. They want to meet a billionaire.” Somehow Robert convinced me that it was an innocent party. We entered the building on the nineteenth floor. He opened the door of apartment 1905 and then we stepped in. It was dark but for a few sconces hanging on the wall. The curtains were closed and the furniture sparse. A woman opened one of the rooms and walked out wearing a leather garment. It was a leather bra and bikini with six inch black boots with a sheer robe covering her figure. I stood in surprise and asked Robert, “What is this?”
“I promised you a great time. You said that you were into BDSM on your last drink and your wife...Well... Why don’t you settle down and enjoy yourself.” He pushed me on the sofa and I fell down like a rock. The woman leaned in handing me a drink. I didn’t take it, shaking my head no.
“I shouldn’t have told you my personal business. Where are you going?”
“Just stay here until I return,” Robert said smiling at me then leaving the room.
“It’s Ok,” she said caressing my hair. “You can relax and enjoy yourself without anyone knowing. I know what you like. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m discreet,” the young woman said to me pressing her breasts in in my face. I had never been so aroused since I first met Alex. But the tension of being a father and husband was taking its toll on me and I convinced myself that I needed to relax.
I thought why not. The woman handed me the drink again and I took it, piling more Scotch and sodas on top of an already saturated mind and body. When I woke, I was in a room with Robert looking down at me. The room was dark and swirling around. I couldn’t tell if it was day or night and frankly I didn’t know and I was beginning not to care.
I sat up and realized that I was naked and the beautiful woman was lying down next to me. When she opened her eyes, sat up, and began trailing her long nails down my chest, she squeezed my nipple. I didn’t respond because my reaction to pain is not the same as others. Robert disappeared before I could protest.
I didn’t question why I was lying naked, but I knew that my sexual addiction had returned full force. It was time to get to my psychologist for a session, but first, I’m here and like all addicts who promises to change, I needed one last intoxicating mind blowing round.
I lay back and forgot about Alex, I forgot the dinnertime we shared as a couple. I wasn’t happy about our arrangement. I piled on excuse after excuse. She said that we had to discuss our marriage after two years and if it wasn’t working for either one, then we are going to get a divorce. I’m thinking now that I have been a disappointment to her. I’m beginning to question what I was doing married anyway.
I placed my hands on the woman’s soft skin and she turned and looked at me. “What’s the matter? Am I not doing what you want?”
“I need more. You understand what I truly need don’t you?”
She reached on the nearest night stand gathering a pair of handcuffs. I laid on my back and she cuffed me to the bed. Then she reached for a whip and began lashing my back. “Harder. Harder,” I confessed. I wanted to feel the pain. I knew I had engaged in something I promised Alex that would never occur, and now guilt haunted me.
The only way to take the guilt away was to beat it away. It was then that I knew I had to get home and make love to Alex. I hadn’t had that feeling in a year. I needed the intensity of her body, I needed to be inside her.
The woman in the black garments took the handcuffs off and asked, “Don’t you want to fuck me?”
“I don’t fuck anyone but my wife.”
After my session, I paid her for her nights work and called Robert in.
“No one is to know about this,” I said. He nodded and called for my car.
Chapter 8
Alex
It was almost two a.m. when Max came into our bedroom after he promised he would be home early. I turned over and watched him get undressed. Every time I looked over his body, I found myself almost to a climax. How could any man look that insanely gorgeous? He unbuttoned his white shirt, took time to stretch, and dropped his pants at the foot of our bed. I heard him open the door to the shower and stay there for an hour. I guess he thought I was sleeping, and he could get in bed and leave one of his notes in the morning, and all would be forgotten when he reappeared.
I couldn’t decide what to do but when he slid in behind me, I felt his warm strong chest, his hard manhood on my butt, and his long arms reach and hold me close. A covering of relief lay over me and backed my behind into him and drifted off to sleep.
I woke early about six am to check on the baby, and before I could turn and kiss him, I looked around and he had his back to me. My heart jumped from my chest. His back covered with scars. I knew what that meant. He had been engaging in his usual masochistic activities.
“Did you fuck her?” I sat up shouting. He woke startled out of a deep sleep. The kind he used to get from me.
“What? What is it Alex?” He sat up in bed with that dark curly hair, which always looked like he had just been fucked by a harem of women, fell over his impossible green eyes. I couldn’t contain my jealousy and rage. Marrying Max hadn’t mitigated the suspicion and doubt I’m experiencing now.
“Do you know what your back looks like?” He sat up turned to me and I slapped him. He didn’t blink, he didn’t react but his face went blank, and his eyes closed for a second.
“I can explain,” he said gazing at me with those dark green eyes.”
“What the fuck is this?” I said examining his back. He tried to grab me and hold me.
“It’s...”
“You don’t have the decency to lie to me?”
“I can explain.”
“What can you say that will make me believe you? Remember I was the woman who knew your darkest secrets and the beatings were one of them. I thought this was over?”
“Can you understand, I was under pressure?”
“This is what you do every time you get pressure. You find a woman to beat you?”
“I didn’t fuck her. She...”
“I would have preferred that you did. Then I would know that you didn’t want me and this would have been easy on all of us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I warned you Max. It’s in the contract. You are a stickler for contracts and I’m holding you to it.” I pushed out of the bed and stood over him.
“You can’t do this,” Max said hoping out of bed rushing to grab my hands. I pulled my hands from his grasp.
“You can’t separate from me. What about my boys?”
“You should have thought about them before you disappeared for two days. I want you out of my house.”
“You can’t do that Alex.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore. If you don’t leave, “I’m taking my sons and leaving here.”
“You can take anything you want,” Max said begging. “I’m nothing without you.” He stood in the same spot looking down like a lost boy. “What am I going to do without you and my boys?”
“You don’t see us anyway,” I said reaching for my robe feeling naked with my own husband. I tightened the belt on t
he pink and black silk robe and looked into his eyes, “I have money of my own from my mother’s estate and that will not be necessary. Give your money to your sons. I want to be rid of you. I can’t live like this with you.”
He reached for me as I passed him and he brought me into his arms. “I want to make love to you,” he said his eyes brimming with heat with a dangerous blank stare. He stood focusing and staring down at my breasts. He held my hands behind my back and I couldn’t move. His mouth on my nipples and my enlarge nipples responding to the warmth and tightening of his lips.
“You do want me,” he said.
“I haven’t had a man make love to me in months. You have been fucking me, not making love to me, and I don’t think you know the difference anymore.” He released my hands. I didn’t want him to release me. I wanted him to make me believe him. I wanted him to tell me something. Lie to me. I was open for a lie after my betrayal.
“I knew St. John would pull us apart,” Max said in total frustration.
“He had nothing to do with this, it was all you, Max.” Wasn’t that a lie? How do you reconcile with yourself that you are doing this to make way for another man. And all you think about is that man. Did I find an excuse to punish Max for my indiscretions?
***
Max
What was I thinking? What is wrong with me? The minute everything is going well I do something uncharacteristic and stupid. I decided to leave the apartment and take residence at our private apartment because I didn’t want to cause Alex any more pain than necessary. I have to make an appointment with the doctor.
I get to see my sons and Alex today, I can’t wait.
Doctors Office
“Max, sit. I haven’t seen you in six months. Have you been taking your medication as I’ve prescribed?”
“Yes. Yes. I don’t think it’s working,” I said looking down at my hands. I noticed they were shaking. “That’s not why I’m here,” I said praying he couldn’t read the expressions on my face.
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