She was the first girl I’d ever felt about this way. I felt it last night when I asked her to come sit beside me in the squad car and I felt it now, as she lie in my arms, our two bodies one.
I could feel her heartbeat against my hand. I could feel my own heartbeat against her chest. And now life made sense. One day we’d create a heartbeat together. I had never wanted a family. No fucking way. Not until now. Now I was all in. I wanted nothing more, because of her.
“Was that the doorbell?” she asked, laughing.
“Yeah. One of the downsides of living in a apartment complex. People ringing the wrong bell. Happens once or twice a week unfortunately. Brutal when you’re working nights and trying to sleep days.”
“I bet,” she said. “I think I heard it again.”
“They’ll get the hint.”
She laid in my arms, and I took in the moment, until I couldn’t anymore.
“Fuck me! Can’t these assholes just let me enjoy this moment. Fuck.” I jumped up from the bed. “Sorry sweetheart, I’m not having this right now,” I said as I moved toward the intercom by the door.
Both times I’ve tried to enjoy a moment after getting intimate with this girl there was someone there wanting to interrupt right away. I just wanted to take in the moment, and not being able to be there with her was pissing me off.
“Wrong apartment, asshole,” I yelled into the intercom. Normally I’m easy going, but not when it came to my time with her. I wanted it to be perfect for her. Uninterrupted.
“Asshole yourself, Justice. At least wait for us to take your money before you get all pissed off.”
Oh shit.
“What day is it?” I asked, removing my finger from the intercom button.
“Thursday.”
“Oh, fuck me.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s poker night, and I’m hosting.”
“You’re going to leave me hanging a second night in a row?” she said with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m more than satisfied.”
“It’s not that,” I said.
“It’s fine, really. We can pick up next time.”
“No, it’s not that. Your dad is waiting for me to buzz him up.”
CHAPTER 11
Scarlett
T he plan was simple in idea, difficult in execution. I was to hide in the bedroom until the pizza arrived. Chase would disconnect the splitter which ran the cable to his small kitchen TV and also his living room TV. The guys would be forced away from the game on the TV in the living room and into the kitchen, which is where they wanted to be anyways since that’s where they’d play poker later.
All I had to do now was to wait…and listen.
“You look like you just got laid?” I heard my dad say though the door. I winced. “Who was the lucky lady this time?” one of his friends said.
The words went right to my chest. I felt my chest stiffen and my throat go dry. The reality was Chase was a desirable man, very desirable. It was no secret that women couldn’t keep their hands off him. I just wondered how big his reputation had gotten, and as much as I told myself it didn’t matter to me, maybe it did. Sure, I’d feel like the ultimate woman if I was able to have him all for myself, and it definitely sounded that way a few minutes ago, but I had to be realistic. He was already thirty-five and didn’t have a girlfriend and was never married. Not only that, I was only nineteen and had way less life experience than him. I also had literally no one at college that even came close to measuring up to him let alone anyone I wanted to be with. And for the next three plus years I was going to be chained to my books, although being chained to his bed sounded a lot better.
He on the other hand was out roaming the streets talking to anyone and everyone, even hookers as I had personally witnessed. I knew he wasn’t the kind of guy to be interested in what a woman of the night had to offer, but the fact of the matter was still clear…he had options, lots of them. And it wasn’t a secret either.
I backed away from the door to prevent myself from crying. I reminded myself I just had to wait for the text message and then I could slip out.
I had my phone on silent and vibrate turned off. I was just waiting for it to light up and right on cue, there it was.
I quickly made my way to the door as I entered my phone’s code, waking it and reading the message.
Shit! It was my mom. She had decided to come up with dad and was just a few blocks from my dorm. She said she’d be there in less than fifteen minutes and couldn’t wait to see me. So much for calling ahead first.
Fifteen minutes later I was still stuck inside Chase’s bedroom and as expected the call from my mom came in. She was already a bit worried about me being by myself up in L.A., and I didn’t want to not answer my phone and make matters worse, but I had no choice.
My phone rang for what seemed like forever before eventually going to voicemail. I felt my palms sweating and I had to reach down and wipe my hands on my skirt to avoid accidentally dropping my phone. Shit, shit shit!
Now. Thirty seconds. Purse on knob. It was Chase. Had he sent the text while my mom was calling, or after her call went to voicemail? I was panicking. Did that mean he was starting from now and counting down thirty seconds, or I had thirty seconds from now, and if so I was already down to twenty-six. What knob?
No time to think. I opened the door and listened. The voices were definitely coming from the kitchen and it sounded like they were misdirected, bouncing off a wall before reaching me.
I opened the bedroom door quickly and tiptoed in my bare feet across the hardwood floor. The kitchen door was shut almost all the way, a small crack of light coming out. Just as I made my way through the hallway I saw light flood the living room. Someone was coming out of the kitchen, and right in my direction.
Hurry, Scarlett.
I grabbed my purse off the knob and turned it as quickly as I could as I slid out the door, shutting it a little too loudly behind me. I took off down the hall in a sprint, when suddenly I heard the door open. I ducked in front of someone else’s front door and suck my stomach in as hard as I could, holding my breath as my face started turning red.
“Who’s there?”
Shit! My dad’s voice.
“Don’t worry about it, Jeff. Probably just some kid messing around.” It was Chase. “Everyone on this floor knows I’m a cop. They’re not going to try anything.”
I heard the door shut and exhaled hard. I put my hand on my forehead and counted my lucky stars. I heard the chain behind me slide and the door open.
“Can I help you?” the man said, looking at me sideways.
“Sorry, I just dropped my shoe,” I said, appearing to do the walk of shame. No doubt the hallway was used to seeing that already. “Really sorry,” I said, slipping into my shoe as I hopped down the hallway to the elevator.
Be there in 20. XO I texted my mom. I ran out the door and booked it for the cabstand.
CHAPTER 12
Scarlett
Y ou seem so frazzled, honey. Is everything okay?” my mom asked.
“Yeah mom. You know how college is. Always running from one place to another.”
“I guess so. Are you eating enough?”
“Yeah mom. Look at me. I’ve already gained at least five pounds.”
“Well, it’s not called the freshman fifteen for no reason.”
“And I’m well on my way.”
“Do you feel okay?”
“I feel great.”
“Are your classes going okay?”
“Yeah, everything is great mom.”
My mom cocked her eyebrow and gave me the “you look suspicious” look.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” she said.
I raised my palms up and gave her the “I have no idea what you’re talking about” face.
“One second, it’s your father,” she said, putting her phone to her ear.
“Um hm. Uh hmmm. Okay. Yes, right away. We’ll be out front.”
> My mom looked at me shaking her head looking beyond disappointed.
“Do you have classes tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow, why?”
“Let’s go,” she said standing and motioning with her finger to do the same.
Ten minutes later I was in the back seat of my parent’s car headed back down to Orange County. No one said a word the entire drive. They didn’t need to. The disappointment was written all over their faces.
CHAPTER 13
Scarlett
Six weeks later
T he next six weeks dragged by. I drowned my tears in Ben & Jerry’s and Netflix. I barely cracked a book and my grades were showing it. I had managed to do well in my Screenwriting 101 class, but that was only due to my ride along with Chase. All my other classes I barely had my head above water. It was coming down to the end of the semester and the final was going to make or break me in all my other classes. The finals I hadn’t even started studying for.
I had been on top of the world that night with Chase, and less than a couple hours later it all came crashing down. All because of one stupid mistake.
When I first arrived at his place and started drinking that margarita I had leaned back on the couch. Why I was still clutching my driver’s license and hadn’t put it back in my purse was beyond me. Chase had managed to remember to hide my purse away before opening the door, but he didn’t know my ID had fallen behind the pillow, only to be wedged deeper after our sexual tirade.
Of course my dad, in his infinite love of popcorn, decided he needed a bowl and where did he choose to eat it? And being my dad he dropped one and when he went digging of course he found what he thought was Chase’s ID…until he flipped it over and saw my picture.
Chase tried to explain he was going to tell him, just not tonight in front of the guys. My dad wasn’t hearing it of course and that was that. My mom made me empty my purse when we got home and found Chase’s business card. Icing on the guilty cake.
They screamed, they warned, they threatened to pull me out of SC.
I wasn’t to talk to Chase, see him, or have any form of communication with him. They put tracking software on my laptop and blocked his number in my phone. My dad could even monitor all the incoming and outgoing calls. Talk about overly paranoid.
The worst part is it didn’t even allow Chase and I to say anything to each other. That was it. The door wasn’t just shut on us, it was slammed in our faces. I was heartbroken and my health, grades, and relationships were broken along with it. I didn’t even go out with my roommate, and she started avoiding me. She started calling me Sad Scarlett behind my back when her friends asked what was up with me. I can’t say I blamed her. I was a total Debbie Downer, there was no denying it.
I was stressed out so much I was starting to feel sick. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I was irritable and my muscles hurt. I even got a cramp walking to class one day, but not in my legs, in my stomach. I must have been out of shape more than I realized. I was super tired at night and had trouble sleeping. My chest was so sore.
I was a wreck, but there was only one thing to do. I had to buckle down and pass these exams or else my parents really would pull me out after this semester. Next thing I knew I’d be back at home, commuting to community college and flipping burgers at In-N-Out. My dreams of being a screenwriter completely gone.
I summoned the voice of my high school soccer coach. “Okay, Scarlett, quit being a little pussy and get up and fight.” I used to hate her for talking like a drunken sailor half the time, but right now that was exactly the motivation I needed.
I pulled up my calendar. Ten days left. I had ten days until exams started. That, plus a whole lot of willpower and coffee were enough to do this. And hopefully if I focused I could keep my mind off Chase. Of course that wasn’t possible, but at least I was going to try.
I started counting up all the weekly assignments, laying them out in front of me to see how I could break down these classes and study for the most important points in order to maximize my time. As I thumbed through my calendar I noticed something. Something I’d been too mired in self-pity to notice before.
I’d missed two periods.
I pulled my eyes from the computer screen and leaned back in my chair. I put my fist in front of my face and opened each finger one at a time counting the weeks gone by.
Shit, it was true. My last two periods came and went without so much as any indication of a period. It had to be the stress I told myself.
I jumped up from my chair and grabbed my jacket. There was a twenty-four hour pharmacy just down the street that wouldn’t require me passing through any sketchy neighborhoods.
Oh my, God. I might be carrying Chase’s baby.
CHAPTER 14
Chase
Y ou’re not supposed to be here, Scarlett,” I said. As much as it pained me to say it, it hurt me even more to know I was lying to myself. I wanted her here. I needed her here. I needed to tell her all the things I didn’t get to tell her after that night. The apology I owed her to start with, but more importantly how I really felt about her. I had only scratched the surface. There was so much more.
“How long have you been here?”
“Three days.”
“Three days!”
“Off and on. You’re never home.”
“I’ve been sleeping at the office or in my car. I haven’t really been here much lately.”
“Drowning yourself in women?”
I drew myself back. I was angry at her words, but maturity stepped in and I realized she was hurt, just like me.
I reached down and helped her up. She was sitting on the concrete next to the front door of my complex. I was embarrassed that I’d put her in this position. Embarrassed by my actions. My princess didn’t deserve this. Not even close. When she got to her feet I placed both hands on her face.
“Not a single one. Not ever again.” I saw a tear forming in her eye and I felt the pain inside. I never wanted to hurt her then and I sure as hell didn’t want to hurt her now. “I know you’re mad. I’m mad too. This really sucks, believe me.”
“You can say that again.”
“But there have been no other women, Scarlett. Only you. And there won’t be any more women. I only want you, and when the time is right I will have you. Until then, I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes to have you in my arms again.”
She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. She was sobbing now. I held her tight as I slid my key into the lock.
“Let’s go inside.”
We went inside and just sat on my couch for at least half an hour. I was holding her, trying to comfort her. As strong as I may have seemed, it was I who needed comforted as well. I was a wreck this past month and half without her. I was making mistakes at work, lots of them. And my mistakes were simple things I was missing because I was spacing out. I couldn’t focus on anything…anything other than her.
“Do you love me?” she said suddenly, pulling her face from my chest.
“Yes, Scarlett. I do love you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I was sure before, but these past weeks have only reaffirmed it. I love you and I want to be with you.”
“No matter the consequences?”
“No matter the consequences, but it has to be your decision. I’m a man, an adult. I don’t have a family, you do. So you have to decide what you’re willing to risk to be with me, if you’re sure that’s what you want right now.”
“Do you want a family?”
“Of course, I’ve always wanted that.”
“Then why haven’t you yet? You’re already well past thirty.”
“Because as much as I want a family there’s only one way I can do that. And that’s with the right girl, the only girl for me. That girl never existed…until you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m totally sure.”
“What if I could give you that famil
y?”
“I hope more than anything one day you will.”
“One day soon?”
“When you’re ready.”
“I am ready.”
Policed: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 11) Page 5