I nodded and entered the room. My mother stopped talking immediately as she took in the dress I was modelling. Tears shimmered in her eyes and I knew that this had more to do with the wedding dress than the actual wedding. This is the dress that her baby girl should wear if she was marrying anyone but her stepbrother. “It’s beautiful,” my mother whispered before her mouth twisted into a pout—it was clear she hadn’t meant to say it.
Deciding to ignore it, I stepped up onto the stage and stared into the mirrors that showed off the entire dress. I looked back at my mom and said, “I know. This is the one...the dress that I’m getting married in.”
Her face paled as I said it and I regretted my words the moment I said them. “About that,” she began slowly. She glanced over at the women in the room, attendants that make the experience wonderful and said, “Can we have a moment alone?”
They nodded before they slipped out of the room, Tessa was the last one out and she gave her an encouraging smile as she slipped into the other room. I turned to my mom who was staring at my dress in distaste...or maybe she was staring at me. “Just say it,” I snapped.
Her eyes were filled with hurt as she stared at me. I could see all the disappointment in those eyes and I knew that no matter what I said or what Damon did, she would never stop being disappointed. Fresh tears pricked at my eyes, but there was something more than just sadness as I stared at her—I was angry with her. What right did she have to make me feel awful about this? She didn’t know my heart, didn’t understand how right Damon was for me. She didn’t even know Damon’s links to organized crime...I could understand her not wanting me to be married to someone with a criminal past, but that wasn’t why she was angry. She was angry because it complicated her life and marriage to Frank.
“I don’t know where to begin,” she said.
“That’s rich considering you knew where to begin when you were telling all of those women about how you didn’t approve of my marriage,” I said and I gave her a reproachful glare.
“You heard that,” she gasped and reached for the tissue box. I ground my teeth in frustration as she dotted her eyes.
“Yes, I heard that,” I gave a little scream of frustration. “And stop playing the victim here. You are the one making life miserable for everyone. I heard you last night with Frank and I watched you all week with Damon. You have made what is supposed to be the happiest time of my life absolutely miserable.”
She winced at the harshness of my tone, but I didn’t care. “You have no right to do this to me, Mom.”
She sank down to her seat and looked down at the floor. I have known her moods too long to know that this wasn’t defeat...this was Mom gearing up for a fight and gathering her strength. Then the helpless weeping woman of a moment ago disappeared and she was glaring at me. Her voice was terse as she said, “And what did you expect, Mia? Did you think that I would openly cheer for you and Damon?”
I shook my head, a tension headache building in my temples. “No, I didn’t think you would be happy...but I’d hoped you would have put your own feelings aside to make sure that I was happy. That is what parents are supposed to do.”
“No, Mia,” she scowled at me and I felt like a child again being scolded for running in the house. “Parents are supposed to guide their children to the right decision. I have obviously failed in that.”
I rubbed my temples and stepped off of the stage. “No, you didn’t fail. That is what you don’t understand, Mom. I made the right decision and if you hadn’t taught me to be independent, I would never have made the decision to be with Damon. I would have allowed myself to be miserable for the rest of my life. I took a chance and it was the best one I have ever made.”
“But it was the wrong one,” she screamed at me. “How perverted are you, Mia? What the hell did I raise?”
I went deadly still, my mouth opened in shock as she raged against me. “He is your brother. Your damn brother and you are sleeping with him. I don’t care if it is a sin or not because any way you look at it, this relationship is disgusting. It is a slight against humanity.”
Fresh tears welled in my eyes and I cursed myself for crying again. I had sworn that I would only cry happy tears in this dress and now she was making me cry over this ugliness. I knew that she’d had a problem with our relationship, but I never knew how deep her disgust ran. “I forbid you to marry him,” she finally snapped.
“What?”
“I said that I forbid you to marry him.” Her eyes were cold as she glared at me. Distaste shone in her eyes as I stared at her in disbelief.
I shook my head. “No, Mom,” my words were tear filled as I continued, “I am going to marry him. You can’t forbid me.”
Her eyes narrowed in challenge and she stood up stiffly. “I forbid you to marry him,” she said again, as though her stubbornness could make it happen.
“Mom,” I said, my voice filled with warning, “I am going to say this only one more time and you need to understand completely, I...am...marrying...Damon,” I paused on each word to emphasize the point. “You can either be happy for me or you can be miserable, but the fact remains, I am getting married to him. We love each other and we want a future together. We want children together and we are going to start trying right after the wedding.”
Horror twisted her face and she said, “Babies! With your brother? Absolutely not.”
“Stepbrother and he isn’t even that. He was an adult when you and Frank were married and I wasn’t a child. I was in my teens and almost a senior in high school. There is nothing taboo about this unless you say there is.”
“Well I say there is. I can never get used to you two, and if you marry him, I will not be at the wedding.”
The words hung between us, and I stared at her in shock as my mind whirled. Despite everything I have been through this past year, I have never felt the terror that I felt right then. My mother was making me choose between my roots—my family and the man I loved. No matter which one I chose, I would lose something important to me. “That isn’t fair, Mom,” I whispered.
She raised her chin and glared at me. “It isn’t fair that you have forced me into this,” she snapped. “Life isn’t fair, but I swear on your father’s grave,” I winced, “that I will never support you and Damon. You have to choose him or me because if you choose him, you will be no daughter of mine.”
The tears were streaming down my face, and I sobbed as my heart lurched in pain. I clutched my chest as my heart shattered, but I knew what I needed to say. Even still, the words were wrenched from my throat as I tried to say them. “Then I choose Damon.” The lump in my throat choked me, but I held her gaze so she could see my resolve. “I love you, Mom, but my future is with Damon.” I added, this time with a stronger voice.
She dropped to her seat and looked stunned before she stood up and grabbed her purse. She looked at me, her eyes filled with anger as she said stiffly, “I see. Well...”
She took a step around the coffee table towards me and then stopped and took a step back. “No, I’m not going to hug you goodbye. You made your choice so you need to live with your decision. I would appreciate it if you took a little while to get home so I have enough time to pack.”
I nodded and realized that I was so devastated by this that I couldn’t cry any longer. My eyes were dry, my heart was shattered, and words failed me as I watched her walk out on me. She didn’t turn around and I stood there, dumbfounded as she murmured to the women as she passed them, “I think she will need some help getting that dress off.” Then I heard the chime of the front door and I realized that she was gone.
Tessa rushed into the room and saw me standing there. “Oh honey, I am so sorry,” she said and then she crossed the room to me. I folded into her embrace and sobbed into her blouse.
Chapter Five
It had been three days since that horrible day in the wedding shop and I still hadn’t pulled myself together. Damon had tried to comfort me, but he didn’t know how. He’d been on th
e phone with Frank every day, but it looked even worse for him. My mom had threatened divorce if he talked to us or came to the wedding.
So in the course of a few days, we had gone from happily getting married to unhappily dealing with being disowned. Damon was dealing with it a bit easier. He had spent years away from his dad after he dropped out of college. “She will come around,” he said every day as he got ready for work. Since I was back in class, I didn’t work, plus, we didn’t want a repeat.
He would leave and I would be left alone for hours, until Jake woke up and we would eat lunch together. It wasn’t a horrible day, but knowing that my mother spent her day hating me made it hard to focus on the wedding. As far as Damon was concerned, we were moving ahead as planned, but as the day drew closer, I began to wonder if we should.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry Damon, but maybe we should put it off until Mom came around. Sighing, I walked out onto the deck and looked out over the ocean. The sun was well above the horizon and the day was going to be warm. My eyes scanned the beach and I noticed a man standing about a hundred feet from the deck. His back was to me, but something about him made my skin crawl. He seemed off in his jeans and t-shirt, but I couldn’t figure out why.
Taking a step back, I watched in horror as he turned and glanced towards the house. I couldn’t make out his features at this distance, but a chill ran down my spine. Why was he standing there? I glanced down the beach both ways and didn’t see anyone else...it was just not the time when people were on the beach.
The man turned and his hand went up into the air in a wave. I could tell that it was directed to me, but I didn’t wave back. Instead, I took another step back and screamed when a hand touched my shoulder. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” Jake said as he walked onto the deck.
Looking at him, I gave him a worried smile and his body went stiff. He scanned the horizon and he placed me behind him in an effort to shield my body. The reaction was instantaneous and I marvelled at how quickly he could move...even with his body still healing. The limp that usually affected him was gone as he drew the gun he kept on his body at all times and then he said, “Where is it?”
My mind whirled as I glanced towards where the man was on the beach. He was gone, and I wondered if he had actually been there in the first place. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me...imagining danger when it wasn’t there all in an effort to take my thoughts away from my mother. I sighed, What the hell is wrong with me?
“I’m not sure,” I said slowly. “I thought I saw a man on the beach, but he isn’t there now and I can’t see how he could disappear so quickly. I must have just been imagining things.”
Jake’s eyes scanned the beach where I was looking and then I saw him relax. “Probably just a jogger,” he said and then moved to the table.
I nodded. “Yeah, probably,” I agreed, but it felt off. If there really was a man there, and it wasn’t my imagination, he had definitely been waving to me. “Or maybe I’m just going crazy.”
“Maybe,” Jake laughed as he sat down at the patio table. “But you are pretty crazy, so that is okay.”
I laughed and shook my head before I said, “I was about to make coffee. Do you want one?”
He nodded and turned his attention to the beach, and I knew that I had lost him. His thoughts always wandered when he was staring at the beach and there was nothing we could say to capture them again. Although he still had that darker edge to him, which I would see now and then, he seemed to be happy. And he was healing well. His physiotherapist said that he may even lose his limp when he had fully recovered.
I was happy for that. The limp was a reminder of how close I had brought him to death. I felt selfish for wanting the limp gone, but it was something I needed to see. I needed to know that a permanent scar wasn’t left on his body because of me.
Walking into the kitchen, I set the coffee pot to brew and then grabbed some muffins from the fridge and placed them on a platter. I wasn’t really hungry, but my nerves were dancing and I needed something to keep my hands busy with. I was completely confused by the man on the beach and maybe I was just on high alert. Damon and I had lived with danger for over a year now and maybe my body was just running on instinct.
Making two coffees, I placed the mugs on the tray with the muffins and then picked up the tray and walked back to the deck. I put it down and Jake glanced over at me. “You didn’t have to grab the muffins,” he said. “I could have gotten them myself.”
I smiled and sat down across from him. “I don’t mind. Besides, it kept me busy. I have been on edge today for some reason.”
“Wedding nerves?” he grinned. “You can always run away with me if you are having second thoughts about Damon.”
I laughed and felt myself relaxing. Jake always made me relax and his humor was something that put me at ease. Sure, he flirted with me, but he didn’t expect it to go anywhere. In fact, I often thought that I wasn’t Jake’s type...or maybe Damon being my fiancé kept him from seeing me as his type. I wasn’t sure, but it was always comforting to be with Jake and I was thankful that he had been with us since being released by the hospital. I shook my head and said, “No, I don’t have any wedding nerves. Wedding nerves means that I am having doubts and I have no doubts where Damon is concerned.”
He sighed. “Well, there goes my plan to sweep you off your feet.”
I laughed and saw the twinkle in his eyes as he gave me a mock hurt expression. “Somehow, I think you will get over it. After all, who is still asleep in your bed right now?”
Jake blushed, and I almost laughed again. He was never embarrassed about having girls at our house on an almost nightly basis. Not always, but he often traded girls on a weekly to bi-weekly basis.
“Elizabeth,” he said before adding, “I think...or maybe her name is Annette...or Diane?”
I groaned. “I should really read you the riot act for how you treat those women,” I said.
He rolled his eyes and then gave me his most charming smile—the one that made all the girls melt right into his bed, “But you won’t because of how wonderful you think I am.”
Laughing, I picked up a muffin and threw it at him. “I think you are getting too confident,” I said and stuck my tongue out at him. But the truth was, I couldn’t blame him for taking up the offers of the women. I mean, if I was a guy, I probably would have, too. “Just make sure that you don’t hit on Mackenzie when she comes. I mean, that would be awkward for me if you slept with her and then dumped her before the wedding.”
“Mackenzie, huh? I never thought of it when you mentioned her, but the more you say about her, the more I think that maybe I should check her out.”
“Don’t you even try,” I speared him with a glare and then laughed as Jake winked at me. He was dangerous and I actually wondered if him and Mackenzie would hit it off. “She’s not your type.”
“Ugly? Awww...too bad,” Jake teased.
“No, Mack is beautiful, but she’s too intelligent for you.” I laughed.
Holding his chest, Jake acted like he was injured and said, “Ouch, that really hurts, Mia. I thought you liked me.”
Our laughter echoed with the waves and I said, “I do but I like her better.” I stuck my tongue out at him after he did it to me.
I caught a flash of colour out of the side of my eye and my laughter died as I glanced towards the beach again. A man walked behind the dune in the distance and I wondered if it was the same man. Something made me think that it was, but I didn’t know why he was making me so nervous. I couldn’t help but wonder about it. I also couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with Damon and his gang.
“I lost you again,” Jake said. “Is everything okay?”
I nodded and sighed. “Yeah. I’m just depressed about my mom not coming to the wedding.”
“So she is really going to stick to what she said. Have you tried calling her?”
“Looks like it and yes, I have called her several times a da
y. She lets it go to voicemail.” I sighed and picked at my muffin. “Damon has talked to his dad a few times and it doesn’t look good. He is worried about them getting divorced if he comes to the wedding. She thinks what we are doing is disgusting.”
Jake sat back and looked as miserable as I felt. “Do you think it’s wrong for me to be with Damon?” I asked.
He hesitated, and I wasn’t sure what to say. My mouth opened to argue and all I could say was, “You do, don’t you?”
Jake shifted uncomfortably in his chair and then shook his head, “I’m not sure how to answer that, Mia. I mean, it isn’t conventional, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s not like you are blood relatives and I knew him when his dad got married so it wasn’t like he was a kid, but...”
His voice trailed off and he gazed out at the water. He didn’t say anything for several minutes and when I was about to demand that he finish what he was going to say, he added, “But I can emphasize where your mom is coming from. If it was my daughter, I would be furious...not enough to cut her out of my life, though. If it was my son, I don’t think it would bother me, especially once I saw them together. I mean, the way you and Damon are, it is clear that you are madly in love. In fact, I am happy for both of you—mostly for Damon. He was so sad for years and this is the first time in a long time that he actually looks like he is living.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure how to explain it, but for years, he kind of floated by...not really living...caught up in death.” He stopped as though he realized what he was hinting at concerning Damon’s past. He was aware of what Damon had been. “But me personally, I don’t think it is wrong. Unconventional...maybe...wrong, not at all.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Thank you. I didn’t realize it, but I needed to hear someone who wasn’t Damon say it. Frank seems happy about us, but I can understand how my mom may not be happy. It just makes it hard for me.”
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