Standing out on the edge of the dock, hands clasped behind his back, was a short fat man. He swayed from side to side, puffing on a cigar. Napoleon at Elba, waiting for the mail. There was an older couple standing on the dock. They held hands and smiled at everything the other said.
I turned back toward the beach and saw two women arguing. They were both fair-skinned, busty, and wore their streaked blond hair in buns. Mother and daughter, I guessed. Jewelry glittered as they both gestured wildly. The mother threw up her hands and the daughter stalked away down the beach. The mother came out on the dock, bosom heaving and muttering the whole way.
The cough of a motor caught my attention and I saw the dive boat approaching the dock. At the helm was a skinny black man. His scruffy beard did nothing to help his receding chin. His nametag read “Oliver.” He threw me a line to make the boat fast and began to help everyone aboard. Once we were seated, he undid the line, took the wheel and headed us out to sea.
In the open sea we bounced along, slamming into each wave. I flexed in anticipation of the jolts that raced up my spine. Drenched in seaspray, I felt like a piling being driven into concrete.
As the boat slowed down and the jarring decreased, I looked around at the others. The man with the cigar took it out of his mouth, looked at it as if he were just realizing that he couldn’t snorkel with it and then flipped it into the water. I resisted the impulse to flip him in after it. At least it was biodegradeable.
Oliver cut the engine and walked toward the bow. “The current is very strong,” he said. “You must stay up front of the boat.” He tossed out the anchor. “I put a line out. If you go past, grab it. If you don’t …” He shook his head in mock dread. “We be on Deake’s Reef, ’bout a mile or so from shore. The water here is ’bout twelve, fifteen feet deep. Watch where the coral gets right close to the surface. You drift into it, it’ll cut you up real good.”
Jane spoke up, “What’s that over there?”
We all turned our heads toward where she was pointing. A group of seabirds circled in one spot and dove over and over into the sea.
“A cruiser,” he said. “She was running without lights. Hit the reef. It ripped out her hull and she capsized. Now she just sits on the reef. There’s lots of small fish and octopus in there now. That’s why the birds come. They’re feeding.”
Smoky the Polluter asked, “Why was she running without lights?”
Oliver shrugged, smiled knowingly, but said, “Who knows, man? People do all sorts of crazy things.”
Everyone began to enter the water. Jane looked at me. “Okay, so how do you do this?”
“First spit in your mask.” I spit in mine. Seeing that, Jane did the same. “It’s like Windex. Keeps your screen clean.” I rinsed mine in the water and then pulled it on. Once Jane had hers on, I said, “Just put the snorkel in your mouth and clamp on it with your teeth. When you’re on the surface just breathe normally. If you want to go down and take a closer look at something, take a lungful of air, go down, when you’re back on the surface exhale through your mouth. This,” I said pointing to the bottom of her snorkel, “is your purge valve. The water will run out of it as you come to the surface. No need to spout like a whale, just a little puff and it’s clear. Got it?”
“Ready to go.”
“Okay. Over we go. Feet first. Hold your mask in place.” I scooted over the side. Jane splashed in right next to me.
We swam away from the boat. I looked down at the coral landscape in its liquid atmosphere. Rays of sunlight filtered through the water and I could see my shadow on the ocean’s floor.
There were antler-shaped coral, pipe coral and bowl coral. Giant fan coral grew like whiskers on the reef. Schools of fish moved among the coral, grooming them. Most fish froze when my shadow passed over them, but some bolted in an instant. In the background was the constant clicking sound you hear on the reef, like you’re inside a giant bowl of Rice Krispies.
I swam in between the formations of the reef for a while. Every now and then I looked for Jane. She was doing fine. Her sleek form glided past me, arms at her side, flippers snapping up and down, as she pursued a trigger-fish.
Up ahead, a large dark mass undulated across the ocean floor. I swam toward it and the mass became a school of small manta rays feeding on the bottom. I wanted to swim with them and decided that this was as good a time as any to see if my ribs could take the strain. Pulling in as much air as I could, I dove toward the rays. I leveled off a couple of feet above them and they scattered. My chest ached with each second I held my breath. I kicked quickly to the surface.
Breaking water, I spat out my snorkel and gasped for air. Jane surfaced next to me. “Are you okay?”
I nodded yes. “I can’t go down though. My ribs hurt too much. I think I’m going to pack it in.”
“Okay. I’ll see you back on the boat.” Jane adjusted her mask and swam away.
I swam lazily over to the boat and paddled around the hull to the boarding ladder. As I came around the stern, I saw a big cabin cruiser wallowing nearby. A man stood in the transom, sweeping the area with binoculars. Fishing lines were attached to the two booms and trailed behind the boat. Another man came up from below and joined him. The first man pointed in the distance. I followed his arm. The only things to be seen were the diving seabirds and the bobbing snorkels of the four swimmers.
I climbed up the ladder and pulled off my mask. The men tilted their heads together, exchanged words and went below. The boat veered away and headed for open water. I read her name off the rapidly receding stern: The Lucky Stiff, out of St. Thomas.
Jane and the others were approaching the boat. I walked up to Oliver. “How’s the fishing around here? I’m thinking of taking that fishing trip the resort offers.”
“There’s no good fishing around here. Hasn’t been for years now. You got to go out eight, ten miles. Nothing left here but the small ones.”
“Thanks.” I sat back down. Jane clambered up the ladder, took off her mask and sat down next to me. The other four followed her aboard.
“God, that was fun. It’s so beautiful down there. I can’t wait to go scuba diving. Will you be able to go?” Jane asked.
“I think so. I won’t be holding my breath. If we don’t go too deep, I should be okay.”
“That’s great. By the way, what was all that crackling in the water? I thought it was my ears or something but I heard the others talking about it too.”
“It’s the shrimp and lobsters that live on the reef clicking their shells and claws. When you hear that sound you’ll see lots of fish, because it’s a good place to feed. It’s the coral reef’s dinner bell.”
Jane sat back and fiddled with her snorkel. A big smile lit up her face. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”
I smiled back and wished that I could say the same thing. I would have, too, until I’d seen a lot of boat come a long way to sit on a fished-out reef. That much stupidity troubled me.
CHAPTER 29
After a few hours of being slow-roasted by the sun and basted in seawater and rum we were ready for dinner.
As I was slipping into my suit jacket, Jane went into the bathroom carrying what looked like a white bedspread with large bird of paradise printed on it. When she came out she was wearing it. I tried to follow the wraps and knots and got utterly lost. I watched her walk over to the mirror to check her hair and makeup and despite my misgivings it stayed up.
“What do you call that thing?” I asked.
“This?” Jane asked, pointing at herself.
I nodded.
“It’s a pareo. They’re really comfortable and versatile. It can be a dress or a skirt. It all depends on how you tie it.”
“Seems to me everything depends on how you tie it,” I said shaking my head.
“Do you like it?” Jane asked nonchalantly.
“Yes, it’s very pretty.” I said. So were her smooth brown shoulders and the stretch of leg that flashed between the folds of the
dress with every step she took.
“Shall we go?” Jane asked. I followed her out of the room.
Once seated, my eyes wandered around to the other tables. I had no idea what I was looking for, just the feeling that there was something out there to see.
Jane tapped my arm. “Are you okay?”
“Sure, why do you ask?”
“You’ve been acting pretty strange ever since we came in from the reef. Real remote, like you’ve got something on your mind. What is it? Are you still pissed at me? I’ve been doing some thinking about what you said.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
“Yeah, but after you tell me what’s bothering you. I’ll even cut you a break and ask you twice, tough guy.”
“Ouch.”
I was saved by our waiters appearance. We ordered dinner. I sipped my drink.
“So?” Jane said, clasping her hands in front of her, resting her chin on her thumbs and batting her eyelids at me.
I took a deep breath and began. “Today, out there on the reef, there was a boat watching you.”
“So?”
“So, they shouldn’t have been there at all.”
“Why not? It’s a free ocean, right?” Jane was having fun.
“Oh, the ocean’s free, but it costs a lot to bring a serious fishing boat like that over from St. Thomas to sit on a reef where there’re no fish.”
“Why do you think that’s the only reason they came over? Maybe they’ve been hanging around for days and just felt like going fishing today. Anyway I didn’t see any boat when I came up out of the water.”
“They took off when they saw me staring at them.” Jane’s question reminded me that the cruiser that lay on the reef had been running without lights.
“Oh, they did. That must have been some look you gave them. Can I see it?”
“Funny, very funny.”
“Maybe they left because they weren’t catching anything. Did you ever think of that?”
“They weren’t going to catch anything. They had lines out but nobody manning them.”
“Maybe so, but why do you think they were staring at me? There were four other people in the water, you know. Let me tell you, that clown from Detroit …”
“Who?”
“The short guy. Morrison’s his name. Sid Morrison. He’s got to have plenty of people out looking for him. What a trip. Did you see him at the beach bar? He just went behind the bar and started making drinks for people, like he owned the place. Let me tell you, he was the only one laughing. There’s a guy could make enemies big-time.”
I thought about what Jane had said. There might be alternative explanations for the boat being on the reef. My only concern was whether Jane was the reason. That was what I had to find out.
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m just overreacting. Paranoia’s an occupational hazard in my line of work. Sometimes you can’t turn it off. Maybe that’s it.”
“I’m sure that’s it. Relax, there’s nothing to worry about.”
Our meals arrived and we began to eat. I knew that there was more to my uneasiness than I’d told her. I knew what I had to say. The problem wasn’t finding the words, it was giving them a voice. It’s always been easier for me to be sorry than to say “I’m sorry.”
I coughed into the back of my hand. Start, goddamn it, say something, anything, it’s all downhill. “There’s another reason I’ve been thinking about all this stuff, I guess. You know, not being able to let it go, maybe looking for things that aren’t there …” I was stuck just short of the crest.
“What is it?” Jane said softly. Soft enough to push me over the edge.
“That woman who tried to kill you should never have gotten that close to you. It’s my fault that she did. I made a mistake, a big one. I turned my receiver off when we were in the bar and I forgot to turn it back on. I couldn’t hear Davey try to warn me about what was going on. If I’d been on top of things, I’d have known that she was on her way up. She’d never have made it off the elevator. So I’m second-guessing myself all over the place. Wondering if there’s anything else I’ve missed. Anything at all.”
Jane nodded her head. “I appreciate your telling me this. You didn’t have to. I would never have known.” Jane sipped her wine. “But you would have known, right, and that’s what counts. Did Davey try to warn you?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked him yet. It didn’t seem the right time when he was in the hospital.”
“So it might not have made any difference at all?”
“Yeah, but it was still a mistake, a potentially fatal one.”
“You said that every trick you’ve learned has come from a mistake. I’m sure that this is one that you won’t repeat. I sure as hell don’t think any less of you for it. Jesus Christ, look under your shirt. You took three bullets meant for me. I’d say that you’ve paid for this mistake. Let it go.”
“Thanks. I just felt that I owed it to you. You’ve put a lot of trust in me …” I stopped before I embarrassed myself.
Our waiter reappeared and took our orders for dessert and coffee. The evening’s entertainment was a local band whose repertoire was elevator-music in the States three months ago. I listened to them tune up and wished that the songbirds in the trees would return.
Dessert and coffee came instead and I asked Jane “What have you been thinking about?”
“Everything. It’s all a mess. I don’t know where to start.”
“Why not where we left off?”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. You really pissed me off. Telling me that I’m being selfish. That I’m only thinking about myself and not the band. If that’s all I care about, then why don’t I dump the group and just go out on my own?”
“Good point. Why don’t you?”
“Because I think we can have it all.”
I sipped my drink and thought about what she was saying. “Let me remind us of a couple of things while they’re still fresh. First, I’m here because you think I can read people pretty well. Second, you trust me not to do you in. Third, you’re not good at hearing things you don’t want to.”
Jane sat up straight, put her hands in her lap and cringed. “I’ll be good, I promise.” She took a deep breath. “This is going to hurt, isn’t it?”
“Just listen to what I have to say. See if there’s any merit to it. I’m having a hard time with all this loyalty-to-the-band stuff. George and Wade are watching you and Axel fight it out. You said that they’ll go with the winner. Axel has treated you like shit. Why work so hard to make these guys happy? I’m having real trouble seeing this unless you’re not as indifferent to being popular as you claim. Then there is a reason for you to try to keep everybody together.”
“How can you say that?” Jane snapped, looking more angry than hurt. “I don’t give a damn what people think of me. I never have.”
“I know it looks like that. Your low profile persona and all that, but I think that getting this close to all that acceptance scares you. I think that you’re afraid of what it might cost you. I think you’re afraid that you might be willing to pay the price. But if you can keep the band together, you won’t have to choose. You won’t have to find out.”
Jane’s face was flushed, but her lips were white. She clutched her napkin in a fist. “I’m really trying to hear this.”
We sat in silence for a while. Then Jane said “I’m going for a walk.” I pushed my chair back. “No, I’d rather be alone, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, I’ll see you back at the room.”
Jane stood up, dropped her napkin on the table and walked off into the night.
I sat there for an hour or so, listening to the band and watching the stars speckle the Caribbean sky. When I looked around and saw that I was alone with the night, I excused myself and went to bed.
CHAPTER 30
After breakfast, Jane and I walked over to the dive shop. We hadn’t said a word to each other all morning. Since this was he
r first dive she had to take a one-hour lesson before we could go out.
The instructor was a lean and wiry guy. His skin, sunbaked a leathery brown, made him look older than he really was. His hair and beard were bleached white. He had a tattoo on his hip just above his skimpy black suit.
I sat on the stern of the dive boat and watched him teach Jane the basics. When he was satisfied that she knew what she was doing, he said “Let’s do it.” He stowed our gear and left the dock. No one else had signed up for the trip so we had the boat to ourselves.
We headed north toward a narrow channel where several years ago a freighter had sunk in a storm. The name on the boating license was Brad McKillip.
“Brad,” I asked, “are we going out to the wreck?”
“No, it’s in about eighty-five feet of water. Since your girlfriend is new, we’ll stay shallow today. About thirty-five feet.”
“Hey, that’s fine by me. I don’t think my chest could take going any deeper.”
“Do you have a problem with your lungs?” Brad asked warily.
“No,” I said and pulled up my shirt, “but my ribs are real sore. Thirty-five feet is still one atmosphere of pressure. I don’t want to have to deal with any decompression.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t have any problems. What happened to you?”
“Piece of machinery fell on me. Looks worse than it is.”
“Well, I’m glad you told me about it. We’ll take it real easy today.”
I looked back at Jane sitting in the transom. Her legs were stretched out and she was staring up at the sky. Above us clouds, like horsemen of frozen smoke, rode by in close formation on their invisible currents. They were oblivious to us bouncing along on the liquid floor of their world.
I felt the boat slow up and took a look around us. On our port side, a large fishing boat ran a parallel course.
Moving up toward Brad, I asked “Do you have any binoculars?”
“Yeah,” he said and handed them to me without looking back.
I stayed under the cabin’s overhang and focused the binoculars. It was The Lucky Stiff. The same two guys I’d seen before were in the fighting chairs, feet up on the rail, drinking beer and laughing. The glasses were so good I could see the hole in the sole of one guy’s loafer. We slowed to a halt and they continued up the channel. Like hell they were fishermen.
The Things We Do for Love Page 15